Mary Gillgannon

by The Leopard

  “’Tis not your fault, truly,” she added, hoping to soften the blow. “’Tis mine own weakness that I guard against by shunning your company.”

  “But Astra, I thought we shared something special. Already I feel a rare bond between us, and you admitted to me that you believe in love. How will we ever know what might have been if you thrust aside our budding friendship before it has a chance to blossom?”

  He made it seem she was cruelly rejecting his offer of friendship. Was there not something to what he said? Perhaps it was not lust she felt, but strong affection, the first stirrings of what could grow into love.

  “I don’t know,” she answered, more confused than ever. “I will have to think on it.”

  “Of course, my dear.” Richard helped her to her feet. “We must get back to Westminster.”

  * * *

  “It’s time we returned to the palace,” Will suggested as he led Marguerite toward the river.

  She nodded, too distracted by her thoughts to argue. The day had certainly not gone as she had planned. William de Lacy had turned out to be more than a challenge. He was a baffling puzzle. She had flirted and teased all day, and he had not responded with anything more than pleasant smiles and polite rejoinders. Time and time again she had tried to entice him into out-of-the-way corners, hoping he would kiss her, but to no avail.

  When they passed a small alcove between buildings outside the market, she had pulled him into the vacant space and brushed his arm deliberately with her breast. When he turned to look at her in surprise, she gave him a bold, inviting look and pursed her lips provocatively. Will had hesitated and then leaned over and gave her a light, passionless kiss. After he released her, she had been more confused than ever.

  The rest of the day had been pleasant, if slightly strained. They had talked and eaten and continued to be unfailingly polite to each other. It was as if the kiss had never been. But Marguerite could not get the memory of it out of her mind. She had never had a man behave this way with her before. They might act shy or uneasy at first, but once she offered them her lips, they always warmed to her. This man was obviously not interested. He kissed her as if it was a duty!

  Could it be that Will did not find her attractive? Most men found her comely, if not beautiful, and she was confident that any man would at least want to kiss her. Unless he was in love with someone else, and too loyal to betray them. Marguerite frowned. If that was the case, why didn’t Will reveal he had a paramour?

  She glanced sideways at her escort. Will was not as tall or muscular as Richard, but he was well-built and apparently a good soldier. He seemed in every way a virile, masculine man. She again considered the possibilities—that Will did not like her, that he had sworn himself to celibacy—then discarded them. No, there had to be something else, some other reason. The truth dawned suddenly.

  “Sweet Jesu,” she gasped, stopping in the middle of the crowded street. “You don’t like women!”

  Will looked around uneasily, then took her arm and pulled her forward. “It is not a thing I wish the whole city to know,” he muttered.

  “It’s true!”

  Will glanced her way and then nodded. “I wish it wasn’t, Marguerite, but it is. If I could have spared you this knowledge, I would have.”

  “You’re a... Oh!” Marguerite gasped. “I’ve never known anyone like that before.”

  Will grimaced. The day was ruined, and likely also the sense of companionship and acceptance he’d begun to feel with this woman. He turned wearily as Marguerite spoke again: “Tell me—do you find the same things pleasing in a man that a woman does?”

  He gaped at her in astonishment. “I don’t think that is something I should be discussing with you.”

  “Of course you should. We obviously have something in common—we both like men. Why shouldn’t we compare our tastes?”

  “Marguerite, I don’t think...”

  “At least tell me what you do when you find someone you like.”

  Will searched her face. Finding no scorn in her expression, merely frank interest, he answered in a low voice, “I must make sure that the man feels the same toward me. It can be dangerous to approach a man if you’re not sure he shares your desires.”

  “And then what?”

  “What are you getting at, Lady Marguerite?”

  She gave him her sweetest smile. “I want to know what you do in bed with a man.”

  Will burst out laughing, the tension between them abruptly dispelled. “I’m surprised your father ever let you out of the convent. I suspect he made a grave mistake in doing so.”

  “You’re making fun of me,” Marguerite pouted. “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “No, I’m not. You’ll have to use your wicked imagination.”

  Marguerite frowned. “I’ve tried, but I don’t really understand. A man and a woman fit together nicely, but a man and another man...” She shook her head.

  “Perhaps some day, when you’re older, I’ll give you a hint,” Will teased. “For now...” His face grew sober again. “I would appreciate your discretion about this. Richard knows, obviously, but he is a much more open-minded man than most.”

  Marguerite gasped. “Richard and you... are you...”

  “Lovers?” Will finished for her, “No, Richard does not share my aberration. If anything, he goes the other direction. He likes women as much as any man I’ve ever known.”

  “But you appear to be so... so close.”

  “Aye, Richard and I are close.” Will’s handsome face twitched with a wry smile. “We have both saved each other’s lives so many times we can’t count them all. Women aren’t always aware of this, but there are bonds formed in battle that are stronger than even passions of the flesh.”

  Marguerite nodded thoughtfully. “How do you intend to hide your... your difference as time goes on? Your family is one of the richest and most powerful in England. There is bound to be pressure on you to marry, to father heirs for your line.”

  “Perhaps some day I will marry. In the meantime...” He gave Marguerite a warning look. “I must ask you to keep this knowledge to yourself. You could cause me a great deal of trouble if you were to spread this information at court. I’m not sure King Henry would understand.”

  “Of course. I am good at keeping secrets, Will, truly I am.”

  He nodded doubtfully, wondering if this impulsive, flighty woman would be his ruin. His unease increased when Marguerite gave a whoop of laughter.

  “What? What is it?”

  “I was just thinking, Will, how funny this is. For once my father was right. He gave me into your care, thinking that you would be the perfect escort, and by God, you are!”

  Will smiled back, his spirits lifted by Marguerite’s infectious laugh. “I am pleased you are so understanding. I wonder if you would allow me the honor of continuing to serve as your escort?”

  Marguerite shrugged. “You’re good company, and now that I know it’s not my fault you don’t want to kiss me, I feel much better. Besides, I had another reason for dragging you off alone. I think Astra is falling in love with Richard, and I wanted them to have some time alone together.”

  Will shook his head. “I may be harmless, but Richard more than makes up for me. I wonder if it is wise to leave him alone with Lady Astra.”

  “Why? Don’t you trust Richard?”

  “For myself, I trust him with my very life. But with Lady Astra’s virtue...” He rolled his eyes.

  “Astra will manage, I’m sure. For all her ethereal beauty, she’s no fool. At Stafford, I depended on her to keep me out of trouble.”

  Will’s smiled faded. “While we are sharing confidences, Marguerite, I must warn you—Richard intends to seduce your cousin. He thinks by compromising Lady Astra, he can force your father to allow them to wed.”

  “If Richard wants to marry Astra, why doesn’t he just ask her?”

  “Richard did not think Lord Fitz Hugh would look favorably on the match. Despite his s
uccess on the battlefield, Richard has been unable to convince the King to grant him any land. Except for his horse, his armor and a chest of war booty, Richard owns almost nothing.”

  “That is something of a problem, but it’s not insurmountable. My father has agreed to give Astra a small manor near Wallingford as a dowry. It’s not much, but it would be a place for them to live until Richard can increase their fortunes.”

  “A small manor—that is all Lord Fitz Hugh offers for his niece? What of her own family? Surely Astra has dower lands of her own?”

  “You misunderstand my relationship to Astra. She’s not my cousin, but rather, a dear friend. Her father and mother are dead, and there is no family fortune. She is as poor as Richard. My father offered her the manor because I asked him to.”

  “What? Astra is not related to the Fitz Hughs? She is not an heiress?”

  Marguerite shook her head. “I love Astra like a sister, and I intend to see that she weds a man who loves her and cherishes her as I do. But he need not be rich. If he truly cares for her, Richard would make a perfectly acceptable husband.”

  “I don’t think you understand. Richard has his heart set on marrying for wealth. If Astra is poor...” Will’s voice trailed off, and his fine features tensed with worry. “You must not continue to encourage Lady Astra’s feelings for Richard. He may be bewitched with her beauty, but I doubt any woman can make Richard forget his ambitions. Astra will likely be hurt, her reputation ruined before she has an opportunity to attract a more suitable husband.”

  “Oh, bother, Will. I think you worry for nothing. I would not be surprised if Astra is able to entice Richard into marrying her despite her lack of dowry. If there is true love between them, they will find a way to be together.”

  Will shook his head but did not speak. Beneath her bluff practicality, Marguerite was obviously as naive about life as most women. He didn’t have the heart to shatter any more of her illusions today.

  Twelve

  “It was astonishing. One kiss and Astra gave herself to me like a flower opening its petals to the sun,” Richard exulted as soon as he was alone with Will in the knights’ quarters.

  Will groaned. “What did you do? Attempt to debauch her in some filthy alley?”

  “Of course not.” Richard sat down on a bench and yanked off his rumpled tunic. “A jewel like Astra deserves the proper setting for romance. We were down by the river, near the Tower. Her lessons in love are only beginning. All I did today was teach her how to kiss properly.”

  Will fidgeted with the cross-garters on his braies, trying to decide what to do. Richard had to know Lady Astra’s situation, and the sooner the better. Still, he dreaded telling him the truth. Richard was bound to regard Astra’s poverty as another galling set-back in his plan to amass a fortune.

  “Richard, I’m afraid there is something you should know. I learned today that Astra isn’t related to the Fitz Hughs at all. She’s simply a comely young woman Marguerite befriended at Stafford and decided to take under her wing.”

  The smug, self-satisfied look on Richard’s face faded. “What do you mean?” he asked in a puzzled voice. “If Astra’s not kin of the Fitz Hughs, who is she?”

  “No one, apparently. Certainly not an heiress. As I understand it, your new ladylove is penniless.”

  “Penniless? The girl has nothing?”

  “I believe Fitz Hugh has promised to grant her a small manor when she weds.”

  “A small manor. God’s blood, Will, that’s not nearly enough!”

  “Actually, Fitz Hugh is being quite generous. He offered the manor to Astra as a favor to his daughter. It is rare such a gift is made to someone outside a family.”

  Richard appeared too stunned to respond. He stood abruptly, his hand rubbing the short sword at his side with a thoughtful, almost sinister motion. Will watched his friend uneasily, wondering if he had been unwise to blurt out the truth. He did not like the cold, bitter look on Richard’s face. The scar on his cheek twitched—a sure sign he was wroth.

  “Of all the damnable, wretched...”

  “Calm down, Richard. This isn’t that grievous a setback. Your visit to London might still yield benefits.”

  “I should have known she was too good to be true,” Richard fumed, ignoring Will’s attempt to soothe him. “Most heiresses are ugly as sin or betrothed nearly at birth. The really comely women are always poor.”

  Will nodded sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Richard. Perhaps you’ll have to endeavor to win your fortune by other means.”

  “I hate this hellish, miserable city! I wish there was a good war I could go fight in. Perhaps I could finally win some land that way—or get my guts cut out trying!”

  “God’s teeth, don’t take on so! Surely things will work out eventually. If nothing else, I will see to it that you are made castellan of one of my family’s castles.”

  “Oh, that would be grand, wouldn’t it? Then I’d never live down the whispers that I’m a nellie like you.”

  Will blanched. Richard cursed again, then began to pace. “I’m sorry, Will. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t care what they say. I know you’re as good a man as any that’s walked the face of the earth.”

  He paced a few moments more and then continued. “I appreciate your generosity, but it wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t be my land or my castle. Lady Astra may be willing to accept a friend’s charity, but I am not.”

  Will wanted to argue that a grant of land from him was no different than one from the King, but decided against it. Richard was very stubborn, and for all his cynical words about wealth and power being everything, Will suspected that deep down Richard sought something more in his life. “What will you do now?”

  “What can I do?” Richard snapped. “I’m right back to where I was a month ago when I first came to London. Again, I’m reduced to begging for favors from my liege lord.” His eyes narrowed suddenly, and a dark look passed over his face. “I have half a mind to go to Henry and ask straight out for a reward for my years of loyal service.”

  “I wouldn’t advise it. The King doesn’t like to be forced into decisions. That’s the reason he gets on so poorly with his brother by marriage, Simon de Monfort of Leicester. De Monfort insists on backing Henry into a corner and rubbing his face in his shortcomings. They say that’s why King Henry sent de Monfort to Gascony to quell the troubles there. They say he wanted Leicester out of his sight.”

  “Still, the King owes me, and I doubt that he’ll have the guts to refuse me before a roomful of knights. It would make him look too much the greedy, conniving bastard he is.”

  “Richard, I think...” Will began, then paused as he saw the look on his friend’s face. When Richard was in this mood, it was better to distract him than argue. “What about Lady Astra?”

  Richard’s mouth quirked bitterly. “You were right. She was too good to be true.”

  “Will you drop your pursuit?”

  Richard shrugged. “I must. There’s no way I can wed Astra if she’s poor.”

  “It seems a shame. I thought perhaps you were beginning to care for her.”

  Richard shook his head. “The part of me that could care for a woman was destroyed long ago. What I feel for Astra is naught but lust, and I am far too old and cynical to let my cock get the better of my wits.”

  “Are you sure? The way you talk about Astra is different than the way you usually speak of women. You seem to genuinely like her, even admire her. You once likened her to an angel.”

  “She is an innocent, but after all, she only arrived in London a few days ago.” Richard’s face hardened. “I don’t doubt that her innocence will tarnish over time. She’ll end up whoring around like the rest of the women at court.”

  Will shook his head, depressed by Richard’s bitter words. Marguerite had been wrong. There was no such thing as true love. Marriage was a grim, practical business. Those who denied it was so were fools.

  * * *

  “Well, you certainly took y
our time,” Marguerite teased as Astra entered the small sleeping chamber to dress before the banquet. “This morning you were afraid to be alone with Sir Richard. Now, after spending nearly the whole day in his company, do you still think he’s ‘ferocious’?”

  Astra blushed and glanced uneasily at Isabel. It was embarrassing enough to reveal to Marguerite what had happened. She certainly wasn’t going to share her failings with Isabel, who already disapproved of her. “Actually, he was most polite,” she answered. “He took me all over the market, then down to the quay.”

  “You were alone with Sir Richard?” Isabel asked in a shocked voice. “How could you do such a foolish thing? The Queen is a pious and virtuous woman. She won’t tolerate her ladies being involved in scandalous dalliances!’

  Marguerite rolled her eyes and turned away, but Astra met Isabel’s accusation calmly. “Sir Richard and Lord de Lacy were asked to act as our escort by Marguerite’s father. As for being alone with Sir Richard, that happened by mistake. We simply became separated from Marguerite and Will at the market.”

  “A mistake!” Isabel snorted. “I’ll wager it wasn’t a mistake at all. Sir Richard has a notorious reputation with women. He probably took you off alone so he could make improper advances.”

  “As I said, Sir Richard was extremely polite and well-mannered,” Astra said stiffly. “Anyway, you shouldn’t listen to gossip, Isabel. Most of it is untrue, and you only shame yourself by repeating it.”

  Isabel looked startled and then made a sour face. “You must be more of a simpleton than I thought. Ask anyone at court. Sir Richard is an outrageous womanizer, not to mention an unscrupulous fortune hunter.” She stalked abruptly out of the room, leaving Astra to glare after her.

  “Oh, Astra,” Marguerite giggled. “That was marvelous. Isabel is a terrible gossip. I loved the look on her face when you told her she shamed herself by repeating it.”

  Astra shook her bead. “I couldn’t allow that whey-faced shrew to imply that Richard... that he...” Astra broke off suddenly. “Oh, Marguerite, do you think it’s true? Do you really think Richard might intend to seduce me?”