The Philo Vance Megapack

by S. S. Van Dine

  “It did. It upset all her calculations. Imagine her feelings when we informed her that Mrs. Greene couldn’t have walked! She backed out of the danger nicely, though. The detail of the Oriental shawl, however, nearly entangled her. But even that point she turned to her own advantage by using it as a clue against Sibella.”

  “How do you account for Mrs. Mannheim’s actions during that interview?” asked Markham. “You remember her saying it might have been she whom Ada saw in the hall.”

  A cloud came over Vance’s face.

  “I think,” he said sadly, “that Frau Mannheim began to suspect her little Ada at that point. She knew the terrible history of the girl’s father, and perhaps had lived in fear of some criminal outcropping in the child.”

  There was a silence for several moments. Each of us was busy with his own thoughts. Then Vance continued:

  “After Mrs. Greene’s death, only Sibella stood between Ada and her blazing goal; and it was Sibella herself who gave her the idea for a supposedly safe way to commit the final murder. Weeks ago, on a ride Van and I took with the two girls and Von Blon, Sibella’s venomous pique led her to make a foolish remark about running one’s victim over a precipice in a machine; and it no doubt appealed to Ada’s sense of the fitness of things that Sibella should thus suggest the means of her own demise. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Ada intended, after having killed her sister, to say that Sibella had tried to murder her, but that she had suspected the other’s purpose and jumped from the car in time to save herself; and that Sibella had miscalculated the car’s speed and been carried over the precipice. The fact that Von Blon and Van and I had heard Sibella speculate on just such a method of murder would have given weight to Ada’s story. And what a neat ending it would have made— Sibella, the murderer, dead; the case closed; Ada, the inheritor of the Greene millions, free to do as she chose! And—’pon my soul, Markham!—it came very near succeeding.”

  Vance sighed, and reached for the decanter. After refilling our glasses, he settled back and smoked moodily.

  “I wonder how long this terrible plot had been in preparation. We’ll never know. Maybe years. There was no haste in Ada’s preparations. Everything was worked out carefully; and she let circumstances—or, rather, opportunity—guide her. Once she had secured the revolver, it was only a question of waiting for a chance when she could make the footprints and be sure the gun would sink out of sight in the snow-drift on the balcony steps. Yes, the most essential condition of her scheme was the snow! … Amazin’!”

  * * * *

  There is little more to add to this record. The truth was not given out, and the case was “shelved.” The following year Tobias’s will was upset by the Supreme Court in Equity—that is, the twenty-five-year domiciliary clause was abrogated in view of all that had happened at the house; and Sibella came into the entire Greene fortune. How much Markham had to do with the decision, through his influence with the Administration judge who rendered it, I don’t know; and naturally I have never asked. But the old Greene mansion was, as you remember, torn down shortly afterward, and the estate sold to a realty corporation.

  Mrs. Mannheim, broken-hearted over Ada’s death, claimed her inheritance— which Sibella generously doubled—and returned to Germany to seek what comfort she might among the nieces and nephews with whom, according to Chester, she was constantly corresponding. Sproot went back to England. He told Vance before departing that he had long planned a cottage retreat in Surrey where he could loaf and invite his soul. I picture him now, sitting in an ivied porch overlooking Kew Gardens, reading his beloved Martial.

  Doctor and Mrs. Von Blon, immediately after the court’s decision relating to the will, sailed for the Riviera and spent a year’s belated honeymoon there. They are now settled in Vienna, where the doctor has become a Docent at the University—his father’s Alma Mater. He is, I understand, making quite a name for himself in the field of neurology.

  One domestic item may be appended. Several months ago a friend of mine, returning from Vienna, brought me the news that Sibella had given birth to a son and heir. The fact, I admit, struck me as somewhat incongruous. It is difficult for me to picture Sibella in the rôle of mother. But, as one of our leading sociologists recently assured us, the modern girl harbours beneath her callous and highly sophisticated exterior an intense, age-old maternalism. “Indeed,” added this eminent sociologist, “the modern girls make the best mothers.” Let us sincerely hope that Sibella will confirm his generous optimism.

  60 It will be remembered that in the famous Molineux poisoning case the cyanide of mercury was administered by way of a similar drug—to wit: Bromo- Seltzer.

  61 Chief Inspector O’Brien, who was in command of the entire Police Department, was, I learned later, an uncle of the Miss O’Brien who was acting officially as nurse at the Greene mansion.

  62 I recalled that Guilfoyle and Mallory were the two men who had been set to watch Tony Skeel in the Canary murder case.

  63 Vance was here referring to the chapter called “The Aesthetic Hypothesis” in Clive Bell’s “Art.” But, despite the somewhat slighting character of his remark, Vance was an admirer of Bell’s criticisms, and had spoken to me with considerable enthusiasm of his “Since Cezanne.”

  64 This was the first and only time during my entire friendship with Vance that I ever heard him use a Scriptural expletive.

  65 As I learned later, Doctor Von Blon, who was an ardent amateur photographer, often used half-gramme tablets of cyanide of potassium and there had been three of them in his dark-room when Ada had called. Several days later, when preparing to redevelop a plate, he could only find two, but had thought little of the loss until questioned by Vance.

  66 I later asked Vance to rearrange the items for me in the order of his final sequence. The distribution, which told him the truth, was as follows: 3, 4, 44, 92, 9, 2, 47, 1, 5, 32, 31, 98, 8, 81, 84, 82, 7, 10, 11, 61, 15, 16, 93, 33, 94, 76, 75, 48, 17, 38, 55, 54, 18, 39, 56, 41, 42, 28, 43, 58, 59, 83, 74, 40, 12, 34, 13, 14, 37, 22, 23, 35, 36, 19, 73, 26, 20, 21 45. 25, 46, 27, 29, 30, 57, 77, 24, 78, 79, 51, 50, 52, 53, 49, 95, 80, 85, 86, 87, 88, 60, 62, 64, 63, 66, 65, 96, 89, 67, 71, 69, 68, 70, 97, 90, 91, 72.

  67 An account of the cases of Madeleine Smith and Constance Kent may be found in Edmund Lester Pearson’s “Murder at Smutty Nose”; and a record of Marie Boyer’s case is included in H. B. Irving’s “A Book of Remarkable Criminals.” Grete Beyer was the last woman to be publicly executed in Austria.

  68 “Selbstverletzungen kommen nicht selten vor; abgesehen von solchen bei fingierten Raubanfällen, stösst man auf sie dann, wenn Entschädigungen erpresst werden sollen; so geschicht es, dass nach einer harmlosen Balgerie einer der Kämpfenden mit Verletzungen auftritt, die er damals erlitten haben will. Kenntlich sind solche Selbstverstümmelungen daran, dass die Betreffenden meistens die Operation wegen der grossen Schmerzen nicht ganz zu Ende führen, und dass es meistens Leute mit uebertrieben pietistischer Färbung und meter einsamen Lebenswandels sind.”—H. Gross, “Handbuch für Untersuchungsrichter als System der Kriminalistik,” I, pp. 32-34.

  69 “Dass man sich durch den Sitz der Wunde niemals täuschen lassen darf, beweisen zwei Fälle. Im Wiener Prater hatte sich ein Mann in Gegenwart mehrerer Personen getötet, indem er sich mit einem Revolver in den Hinterkopf schoss. Wären nicht die Aussagen der Zeugen vorgelegen, hätte wohl kaum jemand an einen Selbstmord geglaubt. Ein Soldat tötete sich durch einen in den Rücken gehenden Schuss aus einem Militärgewehr, ueber das er nach entsprechender Fixierung sich gelegt hatte; auch her ware aus dem Sitz der Wunde wohl haum auf Selbstmord geschlossen worden.”—Ibid., II, p. 843.

  70 “Es wurde zeitlich morgens dem UR. die Meldung von der Auffindung eines Ermordeten ueberbracht. An Ort und Stelle fand sich der Leichnam eines für wohlhabend geltenden Getreidehändlers M., auf dem Gesichte liegend, mit einer Schusswunde hinter dem rechten Ohre. Die Kugel war ueber dem linken Auge in Stinknochen stecken geblieben, nachdem sie das Gehirn durchdrungen hatt
e. Die Fundstelle der Leiche befand sich etwa in der Mitte einer weber einen ziemlich tiefen Fluss f ührenden Brücke. Am Schiusse der Lokalerhebungen und als die Leiche eben zur Obduktion fortgebracht werden sollte, fiel es dem UR. zufällig auf dass das (hölzerne und wettergraue) Brückengeländer an der Stelle, wo auf dem Boden der Leichnam lag, eine kleine und sichtlich ganz frische Beschädigung aufwies, so als ob man dort (am oberen Rande) mit einem harten, kantigen Körper heftig angestossen ware. Der Gedanke, dass dieser Umstand mit dem Morde in Zusammenhang stehe, war nicht gut von der Hand zu weisen. Ein Kahn war bald zur Stelle und am Brückenjoche befestige; nun wurde vom Kahne aus (unter der fraglichen Stelle) der Flussgrund mit Rechen an langen Stielen sorgfältig abgesucht. Nach kurzer Arbeit kam wirklich etwas Seltsames zutage: eine etwa 4 m lange starke Schnur, an deren einem Ende ein grosser Feldstein, an deren anderem Ende eine abgeschossene Pistole befestigt war, in deren Lauf die später aus dem Kopfe des M. genommene Kugel genau passte. Nun war die Sache klarer Selbstmord; der Mann hatte sich mit der aufgefundenen Vorrichtung auf die Brücke begeben, den Stein ueber das Brückengeländer gehängt und sich die Kugel hinter dem rechten Ohre ins Him gejagt. Als er getroffen war, liess er die Pistole infolge des durch den Stein bewirkten Zuges aus und diese wurde von dem schweren Steine an der Schnur ueber das Geländer und in das Wasser gezogen. Hierbei hatte die Pistole, als sie das Geländer passierte, heftig dieses angeschlagen und die betreffende Verletzung erzeugt.”—Ibid., pp. 834-836.

  71 Die Absicht kann dahin gehen, den Verdacht von sich auf jemand anderen zu wälzen, was namentlich dann Sinn hat, wenn der Täter schon im voraus annehmen durfte, dass sich der Verdacht auf ihn lenken werde. In diesem Falle erzeugt er recht auffallende, deutliche Spuren and zwar mit angezorgenen Schuhen, die von den seinigen sich wesentlich unterscheiden. Man kann, wie angestellte Versuche beweisen, in dieser Weise recht gute Spuren erzeugen.”—Ibid., II, p. 667.

  72 Ueber Gummiueberschuhe and Galoschen s. Loock; Chem. u. Phot. bei Krim. Forschungen: Düsseldorf, II, p. 56.”—Ibid., II, p. 668.

  73 “Die neuesten amerikanischen Schutzvorrichtungen haben direkt mit der Kasse selbst nichts zu tun und können eigentlich an jedem Behältnisse angebracht werden. Sie bestchen aus chemischen Schutzmitteln oder Selbstschüssen und wollen die Anwesenheit eines Menschen, der den Schrank unbefugt geöffnet hat, aus sanitären oder sonst physischen Gründen unmöglich machen. Auch die juristische Seite der Frage ist zu erwägen, da man den Einbrecher doch nicht ohne weiteres töten oder an der Gesundheit schädigen darf. Nichtsdestoweniger wurde in Jahre 1902 ein Einbrucher in Berlin durch einen solchen Selbstschuss in die Stirne getoetet, der an die Panzertuere einer Kasse befestigt war. Derartige Selbstschuesse wurden such zu Morden verwendet; der Mechaniker G. Z. stellte einen Revolver in einer Kredenz auf, verband den Druecker mit der Tuere durch einer Schnur und erschoss auf diese Art seine Frau, waehrend er tatsaechlich von seinem Wornorte abwesend war. R. C. ein Budapester Kaufmann befestigte in einem, seinem Bruder gehoerigen Cigarrenkasten, eine Pistole, die helm Oeffnen des Deckels seinen Bruder durch einen Unterleibsschuss toetlich verletzte. Der Rueckschlag warf die Kiste von ihrem Standort, sodass der Moerdermechanismus zu Tage trat, ehe R. C. denselben bei Seite schaffen konnte.”-Ibid., II, p. 943.

  THE BISHOP MURDER CASE (Part 1)

  The Earth is a Temple where there is going on a Mystery Play, childish and poignant, ridiculous and awful enough in all conscience.

  —Conrad.

  CHARACTERS OF THE BOOK

  PHILO VANCE

  JOHN F.-X. MARKHAM

  District Attorney of New York County.

  ERNEST HEATH

  Sergeant of the Homicide Bureau.

  PROFESSOR BERTRAND DILLARD

  A famous physicist.

  BELLE DILLARD

  His niece.

  SIGURD ARNESSON

  His adopted son: an associate professor of mathematics.

  PYNE

  The Dillard butler.

  BEEDLE

  The Dillard cook.

  ADOLPH DRUKKER

  Scientist and author.

  MRS. OTTO DRUKKER

  His mother.

  GRETE MENZEL

  The Drukker cook.

  JOHN PARDEE

  Mathematician and chess expert: inventor of the Pardee gambit.

  J. C. ROBIN

  Sportsman and champion archer.

  RAYMOND SPERLING

  Civil Engineer.

  JOHN E. SPRIGG

  Senior at Columbia University.

  DR. WHITNEY BARSTEAD

  An eminent neurologist.

  QUINAN

  Police Reporter of the World.

  MADELEINE MOFFAT

  CHIEF INSPECTOR O’BRIEN

  Of the Police Department of New York City.

  WILLIAM M. MORAN

  Commanding Officer of the Detective Bureau.

  CAPTAIN PITTS

  Of the Homicide Bureau.

  GUILFOYLE

  Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  SNITKIN

  Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  HENNESSEY

  Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  EMERY

  Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  BURKE

  Detective of the Homicide Bureau.

  CAPTAIN DUBOIS

  Finger-print expert.

  DR. EMANUEL DOREMUS

  Medical Examiner.

  SWACKER

  Secretary to the District Attorney.

  CURRIE

  Vance’s valet.

  CHAPTER I

  “WHO KILLED COCK ROBIN?”

  (Saturday, April 2; noon)

  Of all the criminal cases in which Philo Vance participated as an unofficial investigator, the most sinister, the most bizarre, the seemingly most incomprehensible, and certainly the most terrifying, was the one that followed the famous Greene murders.74 The orgy of horror at the old Greene mansion had been brought to its astounding close in December; and after the Christmas holidays Vance had gone to Switzerland for the winter sports. Returning to New York at the end of February he had thrown himself into some literary work he had long had in mind—the uniform translation of the principal fragments of Menander found in the Egyptian papyri during the early years of the present century; and for over a month he had devoted himself sedulously to this thankless task.

  Whether or not he would have completed the translations, even had his labors not been interrupted, I do not know; for Vance was a man of cultural ardencies, in whom the spirit of research and intellectual adventure was constantly at odds with the drudgery necessary to scholastic creation. I remember that only the preceding year he had begun writing a life of Xenophon—the result of an enthusiasm inherited from his university days when he had first read the Anabasis and the Memorabilia—and had lost interest in it at the point where Xenophon’s historic march led the Ten Thousand back to the sea. However, the fact remains that Vance’s translation of Menander was rudely interrupted in early April; and for weeks he became absorbed in a criminal mystery which threw the entire country into a state of gruesome excitement.

  This new criminal investigation, in which he acted as a kind of amicus curiae for John F.-X. Markham, the District Attorney of New York, at once became known as the Bishop murder case. The designation—the result of our journalistic instinct to attach labels to every cause célèbre—was, in a sense, a misnomer. There was nothing ecclesiastical about that ghoulish saturnalia of crime which set an entire community to reading the “Mother Goose Melodies” with fearful apprehension;75 and no one of the name of Bishop was, as far as I know, even remotely connected with the monstrous events which bore that appellation. But, withal, the word “Bishop” was appropriate, for it was an alias used by the murderer for the grimmest of purposes. Incidentally it was this name that eventually led Vance to the almost incredible truth, and ended one of the most ghastly multiple crimes in police history.

  The series of uncanny and apparently unrelated
events which constituted the Bishop murder case and drove all thought of Menander and Greek monostichs from Vance’s mind, began on the morning of April 2, less than five months after the double shooting of Julia and Ada Greene. It was one of those warm luxurious spring days which sometimes bless New York in early April; and Vance was breakfasting in his little roof garden atop his apartment in East 38th Street. It was nearly noon—for Vance worked or read until all hours, and was a late riser—and the sun, beating down from a clear blue sky, cast a mantle of introspective lethargy over the city. Vance sprawled in an easy chair, his breakfast on a low table beside him, gazing with cynical, regretful eyes down at the treetops in the rear yard.

  I knew what was in his mind. It was his custom each spring to go to France; and it had long since come to him to think, as it came to George Moore, that Paris and May were one. But the great trek of the post-war American nouveaux riches to Paris had spoiled his pleasure in this annual pilgrimage; and, only the day before, he had informed me that we were to remain in New York for the summer.

  For years I had been Vance’s friend and legal adviser—a kind of monetary steward and agent-companion. I had quitted my father’s law firm of Van Dine, Davis & Van Dine to devote myself wholly to his interests—a post I found far more congenial than that of general attorney in a stuffy office—and though my own bachelor quarters were in a hotel on the West Side, I spent most of my time at Vance’s apartment.

  I had arrived early that morning, long before Vance was up, and, having gone over the first-of-the-month accounts, now sat smoking my pipe idly as he breakfasted.

  “Y’ know, Van,” he said to me, in his emotionless drawl; “the prospect of spring and summer in New York is neither excitin’ nor romantic. It’s going to be a beastly bore. But it’ll be less annoyin’ than travelin’ in Europe with the vulgar hordes of tourists jostlin’ one at every turn.… It’s very distressin’.”