The Philo Vance Megapack

by S. S. Van Dine

  “‘Chivalry’?” she repeated, leaning forward tensely. “What exactly do you mean by that, Mr. Markham?”

  It was Vance who answered.

  “The bow that was found on the range was a woman’s bow.”

  “Oh!” The girl covered her face with her hands, and her body shook with sobs.

  Professor Dillard regarded her helplessly; and his impotency took the form of irritation.

  “What flummery is this, Markham?” he demanded. “Any archer can shoot with a woman’s bow.… That unutterable young idiot! Why should he make Belle miserable by his preposterous confession!… Markham, my friend, do what you can for the boy.”

  Markham gave his assurances, and we rose to go.

  “By the by, Professor Dillard,” said Vance, pausing at the door; “I trust you won’t misunderstand me, but there’s a bare possibility that it was some one with access to this house who indulged in the practical joke of typing that note. Is there, by any chance, a typewriter on the premises?”

  It was patent that the professor resented Vance’s question, but he answered civilly enough.

  “No,—nor has there ever been one to my knowledge. I threw my own machine away ten years ago when I left the university. An agency does whatever typing I need.”

  “And Mr. Arnesson?”

  “He never uses a typewriter.”

  As we descended the stairs we met Arnesson returning from Drukker’s.

  “I’ve placated our local Leipnitz,” he announced, with an exaggerated sigh. “Poor old Adolph! The world is too much with him. When he’s wallowing in the relativist formulas of Lorentz and Einstein he’s serene. But when he’s dragged down to actuality he disintegrates.”

  “It may interest you to know,” said Vance casually, “that Sperling has just confessed to the murder.”

  “Ha!” Arnesson chuckled. “Quite in keeping. ‘I,’ said the Sparrow.… Very neat. Still, I don’t know how it’ll work out mathematically.”

  “And, since we agreed to keep you posted,” continued Vance, “it may help your calculations to know that we have reason to believe that Robin was killed in the archery-room and placed on the range afterwards.”

  “Glad to know it.” Arnesson became momentarily serious. “Yes, that may affect my problem.” He walked with us to the front door. “If there’s any way I can be of service to you, call on me.”

  Vance had paused to light a cigarette, but I knew, by the languid look in his eyes, that he was making a decision. Slowly he turned to Arnesson.

  “Do you know if Mr. Drukker or Mr. Pardee has a typewriter?”

  Arnesson gave a slight start, and his eyes twinkled shrewdly.

  “Aha! That Bishop note.… I see. Merely a matter of being thorough. Quite right.” He nodded with satisfaction. “Yes; both have typewriters. Drukker types incessantly—thinks to the keyboard, so he says. And Pardee’s chess correspondence is as voluminous as a movie hero’s. Types it all himself, too.”

  “Would it be any great trouble to you,” asked Vance, “to secure a specimen of the typing of each machine, and also a sample of the paper these two gentlemen use?”

  “None whatever.” Arnesson appeared delighted with the commission. “Have them for you this afternoon. Where’ll you be?”

  “Mr. Markham will be at the Stuyvesant Club. You might phone him there, and he can arrange—”

  “Why bother to arrange anything? I’ll bring my findings to Mr. Markham personally. Only too glad. Fascinating game, being a sleuth.”

  Vance and I returned home in the District Attorney’s car, and Markham continued to the office. At seven o’clock that night the three of us met at the Stuyvesant Club for dinner; and at half past eight we were sitting in Markham’s favorite corner of the lounge-room smoking and having our coffee.

  During the meal no mention of the case had been made. The late editions of the afternoon papers had carried brief accounts of Robin’s death. Heath had evidently succeeded in curbing the reporters’ curiosity and clipping the wings of their imagination. The District Attorney’s office being closed, the newspaper men were unable to bombard Markham with questions, and so the late press was inadequately supplied with information. The Sergeant had guarded the Dillard house well, for the reporters had not succeeded in reaching any member of the household.

  Markham had picked up a late Sun on his way from the dining-room, and glanced through it carefully as he sipped his coffee.

  “This is the first faint echo,” he commented ruefully. “I shudder to think what the morning papers will contain.”

  “There’s nothing to do but bear it,” smiled Vance unfeelingly. “The moment some bright journalistic lad awakes to the robin-sparrow-arrow combination the city editors will go mad with joy, and every front page in the country will look like a Mother-Goose hoarding.”

  Markham lapsed into despondency. Finally he struck the arm of his chair angrily with his fist.

  “Damn it, Vance! I won’t let you inflame my imagination with this idiocy about nursery rhymes.” Then he added, with the ferocity of uncertainty: “It’s a sheer coincidence, I tell you. There simply couldn’t be anything in it.”

  Vance sighed. “Convince yourself against your will; you’re of the same opinion still—to paraphrase Butler.” He reached into his pocket and took out a sheet of paper. “Putting all juvenilia to one side pro tempore, here’s an edifyin’ chronology I drew up before dinner.… Edifyin’? Well, it might be if we knew how to interpret it.”

  Markham studied the paper for several minutes. What Vance had written down was this:

  9.00 A.M. Arnesson left house to go to university library.

  9.15 A.M. Belle Dillard left house for the tennis courts.

  9.30 A.M. Drukker called at house to see Arnesson.

  9.50 A.M. Drukker went down-stairs to archery-room.

  10.00 A.M. Robin and Sperling called at house and remained in drawing-room for half an hour.

  10.30 A.M. Robin and Sperling went down to archery-room.

  10.32 A.M. Drukker says he went out for a walk, by the wall gate.

  10.35 A.M. Beedle went marketing.

  10.55 A.M. Drukker says he returned to his own house.

  11.15 A.M. Sperling went away by wall gate.

  11.30 A.M. Drukker says he heard a scream in his mother’s room.

  11.35 A.M. Professor Dillard went on balcony of Arnesson’s room.

  11.40 A.M. Professor Dillard saw Robin’s body on archery range.

  11.45 A.M. Professor Dillard telephoned to District Attorney’s office.

  12.25 P.M. Belle Dillard returned from tennis.

  12.30 P.M. Police arrived at Dillard house.

  12.35 P.M. Beedle returned from market.

  2.00 P.M. Arnesson returned from university.

  Ergo: Robin was killed at some time between 11.15 (when Sperling departed) and 11.40 (when Professor Dillard discovered body).

  The only other persons known to have been in the house during this time were Pyne and Professor Dillard.

  The disposition of all other persons connected in any way with the murder was as follows (according to statements and evidence now in hand):

  1. Arnesson was at the university library between 9 A.M. and 2 P.M.

  2. Belle Dillard was at the tennis courts between 9.15 A.M. and 12.25 P.M.

  3. Drukker was walking in the park between 10.32 A.M. and 10.55 A.M.; and was in his study from 10.55 A.M. on.

  4. Pardee was in his house the entire morning.

  5. Mrs. Drukker was in her room the entire morning.

  6. Beedle was marketing between 10.35 A.M. and 12.35 P.M.

  7. Sperling was on his way to the Grand Central Station between 11.15 A.M. and 11.40 A.M., at which hour he took a train for Scarsdale.

  Conclusion: Unless at least one of these seven alibis is shaken, the whole weight of suspicion, and indeed the actual culpability, must rest upon either Pyne or Professor Dillard.

  When Markham finished reading t
he paper, he made a gesture of exasperation.

  “Your entire implication is preposterous,” he said irritably; “and your conclusion is a non-sequitur. The chronology helps set the time of Robin’s death, but your assumption that one of the persons we’ve seen today is necessarily guilty is arrant nonsense. You completely ignore the possibility that any outsider could have committed the crime. There were three ways of reaching the range and the archery-room without entering the house—the wall gate on 75th Street, the other wall gate on 76th Street, and the alleyway between the two apartment houses, leading to Riverside Drive.”

  “Oh, it’s highly probable that one of these three entrances was used,” returned Vance. “But don’t overlook the fact that the most secluded, and therefore the most likely, of these three means of entry—to wit, the alleyway—is guarded by a locked door to which no one would be apt to have a key except some member of the Dillard household. I can’t picture a murderer walking into the range from either of the street gates: he would be taking too many chances of being seen.”

  Vance leaned forward seriously.

  “And, Markham, there are other reasons why we may eliminate strangers or casual prowlers. The person who sent Robin to his Maker must have been privy to the exact state of affairs in the Dillard house this morning between a quarter past eleven and twenty minutes to twelve. He knew that Pyne and the old professor were alone there. He knew that Belle Dillard was not roaming about the premises. He knew that Beedle was away and could neither hear him nor surprise him. He knew that Robin—his victim—was there, and that Sperling had departed. Moreover, he knew something of the lie of the land—the situation of the archery-room, for instance; for it’s only too plain that Robin was killed in that room. No one who wasn’t familiar with all these details would have dared enter the grounds and staged a spectacular murder. I tell you, Markham, it was some one very close to the Dillard ménage—some one who was able to find out just what conditions obtained in that household this morning.”

  “What about that scream of Mrs. Drukker’s?”

  “Ah, what about it, indeed? Mrs. Drukker’s window may have been a factor that the murderer overlooked. Or perhaps he knew about it and decided to take that one chance of being seen. On the other hand, we don’t know whether the lady screamed or not. She says No; Drukker says Yes. They both have an ulterior motive for what they poured into our trustin’ ears. Drukker may have told of the scream by way of proving he was at home between eleven and twelve; and Mrs. Drukker may have denied it for fear he wasn’t home. It’s very much of an olla podrida. But it doesn’t matter. The main point I’m trying to make is that only an intimate of the Dillard house could have done this devilish business.”

  “We have too few facts to warrant that conclusion,” asserted Markham. “Chance may have played a part—”

  “Oh, I say, old man! Chance may work out to a few permutations, but not to twenty.—And there is that note left in the mail-box. The murderer even knew Robin’s middle name.”

  “Assuming, of course, that the murderer wrote the note.”

  “Do you prefer to assume that some balmy joker found out about the crime through telepathy or crystal-gazing, hied to a typewriter, composed a dithyramb, returned hot-footed to the house, and, for no good reason, took the terrific risk of being seen putting the paper in the mail-box?”

  Before Markham could answer Heath entered the lounge room and hurried to our corner. That he was worried and uneasy was obvious. With scarcely a word of greeting he handed a typewritten envelope to Markham.

  “That was received by the World in the late afternoon mail. Quinan, the police reporter of the World, brought it to me a little while ago; and he says that the Times and the Herald also got copies of it. The letters were stamped at one o’clock today, so they were probably posted between eleven and twelve. What’s more, Mr. Markham, they were mailed in the neighborhood of the Dillard house, for they went through Post Office Station ‘N’ on West 69th Street.”

  Markham withdrew the enclosure from the envelope. Suddenly his eyes opened wide, and the muscles about his mouth tightened. Without looking up he handed the letter to Vance. It consisted of a single sheet of typewriting paper, and the words printed on it were identical to those on the note left in the Dillard mail-box. Indeed, the communication was an exact duplicate of the other:—

  “Joseph Cochrane Robin is dead. Who Killed Cock Robin? Sperling means sparrow.—THE BISHOP.”

  Vance scarcely glanced at the paper.

  “Quite in keeping, don’t y’ know,” he said indifferently. “The Bishop was afraid the public might miss the point of his joke; so he explained it to the press.”

  “Joke, did you say, Mr. Vance?” asked Heath bitterly. “It ain’t the kind of joke I’m used to. This case gets crazier—”

  “Exactly, Sergeant. A crazy joke.”

  A uniformed boy stepped up to the District Attorney and, bending over his shoulder discreetly, whispered something.

  “Bring him here right away,” ordered Markham. Then to us: “It’s Arnesson. He’ll probably have those specimens of typing.” A shadow had settled on his face; and he glanced again at the note Heath had brought him. “Vance,” he said in a low voice, “I’m beginning to believe that this case may turn out to be as terrible as you think. I wonder if the typing will correspond.…”

  But when the note was compared with the specimens Arnesson brought, no similarity whatever could be discerned. Not only were the typing and the ink different from those of either Pardee’s or Drukker’s machine, but the paper did not match any one of the samples that Arnesson had secured.

  74 See The Greene Murder Case.

  75 Mr. Joseph A. Margolies of Brentano’s told me that for a period of several weeks during the Bishop murder case more copies of “Mother Goose Melodies” were sold than of any current novel. And one of the smaller publishing houses reprinted and completely sold out an entire edition of those famous old nursery rhymes.

  76 The book Vance referred to was that excellent and comprehensive treatise, Archery, by Robert P. Elmer, M.D.

  77 See The Benson Murder Case.

  78 See The ‘Canary’ Murder Case.

  79 Though Laplace is best known for his “Méchanique Céleste,” Vance was here referring to his masterly work, “Théorie Analytique des Probabilités,” which Herschel called “the ne plus ultra of mathematical skill and power.”

  80 Heath was referring to Doctor Emanuel Doremus, the Chief Medical Examiner of New York.

  81 The book referred to by Professor Dillard was the great work which appeared two years later, The Atomic Structure of Radiant Energy, a mathematical emendation of Planck’s quantum theory refuting the classical axiom of the continuity of all physical processes.

  82 The American chess master—sometimes confused with Doctor Emanuel Lasker, the former world champion.

  83 Mae Brenner will still be remembered by Continental music lovers. Her début was made at the unprecedented age of twenty-three as Sulamith in “Die Königin von Saba” at the Imperial Opera House in Vienna; although her greatest success was perhaps her Desdemona in “Otello”—the last rôle she sang before her retirement.

  84 The name was, of course, originally spelled Drucker. The change—possibly some vague attempt at Americanization—was made by Mrs. Drukker when she settled in this country.

  85 He gave me very much the same impression as did General Homer Lee when I visited him at Santa Monica shortly before his death.

  86 Saturday was a “half day” at the District Attorney’s office. Swacker was Markham’s secretary.

  THE BISHOP MURDER CASE (Part 2)

  CHAPTER VIII

  ACT TWO

  (Monday, April 11; 11.30 A.M.)

  There is no need to recall here the nation-wide sensation caused by Robin’s murder. Every one remembers how that startling tragedy was featured in the country’s press. It was referred to by various designations. Some newspapers called it the Cock Robin murder. Othe
rs, more alliterative but less accurate,87 termed it the Mother Goose murder. But the signature of the typewritten notes appealed strongly to the journalistic sense of mystery; and in time the killing of Robin came to be known as the Bishop murder case. Its strange and fearful combination of horror and nursery jargon inflamed the public’s imagination; and the sinister and insane implications of its details affected the entire country like some grotesque nightmare whose atmosphere could not be shaken off.

  During the week following the discovery of Robin’s body, the detectives of the Homicide Bureau, as well as the detectives connected with the District Attorney’s office, were busy night and day pushing their inquiries. The receipt of the duplicate Bishop notes by the leading New York morning papers had dissipated whatever ideas Heath may have held as to Sperling’s guilt; and though he refused to put his official imprimatur on the young man’s innocence he threw himself, with his usual gusto and pertinacity, into the task of finding another and more plausible culprit. The investigation which he organized and superintended was as complete as had been that of the Greene murder case. No avenue which held the meagrest hope of results was overlooked; and the report he drew up would have given joy even to those meticulous criminologists of the University of Lausanne.

  On the afternoon of the day of the murder he and his men had searched for the cloth that had been used to wipe up the blood in the archery-room; but no trace of it was found. Also, a thorough examination of the Dillard basement was made in the hope of finding other clews; but although Heath had put the task in the hands of experts, the result was negative. The only point brought to light was that the fibre rug near the door had recently been moved so as to cover the cleansed spot on the cement floor. This fact, however, merely substantiated the Sergeant’s earlier observation.

  The post-mortem report of Doctor Doremus lent color to the now officially accepted theory that Robin had been killed in the archery-room and then placed on the range. The autopsy showed that the blow on the back of his skull had been a particularly violent one and had been made with a heavy rounded instrument, resulting in a depressed fracture quite different from the fissured fracture caused by striking a flat surface. A search was instituted for the weapon with which the blow had been dealt; but no likely instrument was turned up.