The Philo Vance Megapack

by S. S. Van Dine

  “It’s a long chance.” Markham was pessimistic. “But it can do no harm to try. In any event, I shall arrest Arnesson before I leave here, and hope for the best.”

  A few moments later the front door opened and Professor Dillard appeared in the hall opposite the archway. He scarcely acknowledged Markham’s greeting—he was scanning our faces as if trying to read the meaning of our unexpected visit. Finally he put a question.

  “You have, perhaps, thought over what I said last night?”

  “Not only have we thought it over,” said Markham, “but Mr. Vance has found the thing that was disturbing you. After we left here he showed me a copy of ‘The Pretenders.’”

  “Ah!” The exclamation was like a sigh of relief. “For days that play has been in my mind, poisoning every thought.…” He looked up fearfully. “What does it mean?”

  Vance answered the question.

  “It means, sir, that you’ve led us to the truth. We’re waiting now for Mr. Arnesson.—And I think it would be well if we had a talk with you in the meantime. You may be able to help us.”

  The old man hesitated.

  “I had hoped not to be made an instrument in the boy’s conviction.” His voice held a tragic paternal note. But presently his features hardened; a vindictive light shone in his eyes; and his hand tightened over the knob of his stick. “However, I can’t consider my own feelings now. Come; I will do what I can.”

  On reaching the library he paused by the sideboard and poured himself a glass of port. When he had drunk it he turned to Markham with a look of apology.

  “Forgive me. I’m not quite myself.” He drew forward the little chess table and placed glasses on it for all of us. “Please overlook my discourtesy.” He filled the glasses and sat down.

  We drew up chairs. There was none of us, I think, who did not feel the need of a glass of wine after the harrowing events we had just passed through.

  When we had settled ourselves the professor lifted heavy eyes to Vance, who had taken a seat opposite to him.

  “Tell me everything,” he said. “Don’t try to spare me.”

  Vance drew out his cigarette-case.

  “First, let me ask you a question. Where was Mr. Arnesson between five and six yesterday afternoon?”

  “I—don’t know.” There was a reluctance in the words. “He had tea here in the library; but he went out about half past four, and I didn’t see him again until dinner time.”

  Vance regarded the other sympathetically for a moment, then he said:

  “We’ve found the typewriter on which the Bishop notes were printed. It was in an old suit-case hidden in the attic of this house.”

  The professor showed no sign of being startled.

  “You were able to identify it?”

  “Beyond any doubt. Yesterday a little girl named Madeleine Moffat disappeared from the playground in the park. There was a sheet of paper in the machine, and on it had already been typed: ‘Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet.’”

  Professor Dillard’s head sank forward.

  “Another insane atrocity! If only I hadn’t waited till last night to warn you—!”

  “No great harm has been done,” Vance hastened to inform him. “We found the child in time: she’s out of danger now.”

  “Ah!”

  “She had been locked in the hall-closet on the top floor of the Drukker house. We had thought she was here somewhere—which is how we came to search your attic.”

  There was a silence; then the professor asked:

  “What more have you to tell me?”

  “Drukker’s note-book containing his recent quantum researches was stolen from his room the night of his death. We found this note-book in the attic with the typewriter.”

  “He stooped even to that?” It was not a question, but an exclamation of incredulity. “Are you sure of your conclusions? Perhaps if I had made no suggestion last night—had not sowed the seed of suspicion.…”

  “There can be no doubt,” declared Vance softly. “Mr. Markham intends to arrest Mr. Arnesson when he returns from the university. But to be frank with you, sir: we have practically no legal evidence, and it is a question in Mr. Markham’s mind whether or not the law can even hold him. The most we can hope for is a conviction for attempted kidnapping through the child’s identification.”

  “Ah, yes…the child would know.” A bitterness crept into the old man’s eyes. “Still, there should be some means of obtaining justice for the other crimes.”

  Vance sat smoking pensively, his eyes on the wall beyond. At last he spoke with quiet gravity.

  “If Mr. Arnesson were convinced that our case against him was a strong one, he might choose suicide as a way out. That perhaps would be the most humane solution for every one.”

  Markham was about to make an indignant protest, but Vance anticipated him.

  “Suicide is not an indefensible act per se. The Bible, for instance, contains many accounts of heroic suicide. What finer example of courage than Rhazis’, when he threw himself from the tower to escape the yoke of Demetrius?112 There was gallantry, too, in the death of Saul’s sword-bearer, and in the self-hanging of Ahithophel. And surely the suicides of Samson and Judas Iscariot had virtue. History is filled with notable suicides—Brutus and Cato of Utica, Hannibal, Lucretia, Cleopatra, Seneca.… Nero killed himself lest he fall into the hands of Otho and the Pretorian guards. In Greece we have the famous self-destruction of Demosthenes; and Empedocles threw himself in the crater of Etna. Aristotle was the first great thinker to advance the dictum that suicide is an anti-social act, but, according to tradition, he himself took poison after the death of Alexander. And in modern times let us not forget the sublime gesture of Baron Nogi.…”

  “All that is no justification of the act,” Markham retorted. “The law—”

  “Ah, yes—the law. In Chinese law every criminal condemned to death has the option of suicide. The Codex adopted by the French National Assembly at the end of the eighteenth century abolished all punishments for suicide; and in the Sachsenspiegel—the principal foundation of Teuton law—it is plainly stated that suicide is not a punishable act. Moreover, among the Donatists, Circumcellions and Patricians suicide was considered pleasing to the gods. And even in More’s Utopia there was a synod to pass on the right of the individual to take his own life.… Law, Markham, is for the protection of society. What of a suicide that makes possible that protection? Are we to invoke a legal technicality, when, by so doing, we actually lay society open to continued danger? Is there no law higher than those on the statute books?”

  Markham was sorely troubled. He rose and walked the length of the room and back, his face dark with anxiety. When he sat down again he looked at Vance a long while, his fingers drumming with nervous indecision on the table.

  “The innocent of course must be considered,” he said in a voice of discouragement. “As morally wrong as suicide is, I can see your point that at times it may be theoretically justified.” (Knowing Markham as I did, I realized what this concession had cost him; and I realized, too, for the first time, how utterly hopeless he felt in the face of the scourge of horror which it was his duty to wipe out.)

  The old professor nodded understandingly.

  “Yes, there are some secrets so hideous that it is well for the world not to know them. A higher justice may often be achieved without the law taking its toll.”

  As he spoke the door opened, and Arnesson stepped into the room.

  “Well, well. Another conference, eh?” He gave us a quizzical leer, and threw himself into a chair beside the professor. “I thought the case had been adjudicated, so to speak. Didn’t Pardee’s suicide put finis to the affair?”

  Vance looked straight into the man’s eyes.

  “We’ve found little Miss Muffet, Mr. Arnesson.”

  The other’s eyebrows went up with sardonic amusement.

  “Sounds like a charade. What am I supposed to answer: ‘How’s little Jack Horner’s thumb?’ Or, s
hould I inquire into the health of Jack Sprat?”

  Vance did not relax his steady gaze.

  “We found her in the Drukker house, locked in a closet,” he amplified, in a low, even tone.

  Arnesson became serious, and an involuntary frown gathered on his forehead. But this slackening of pose was only transient. Slowly his mouth twisted into a smirk.

  “You policemen are so efficient. Fancy finding little Miss Muffet so soon. Remarkable.” He wagged his head in mock admiration. “However, sooner or later it was to be expected.—And what, may I ask, is to be the next move?”

  “We also found the typewriter,” pursued Vance, ignoring the question. “And Drukker’s stolen notebook.”

  Arnesson was at once on his guard.

  “Did you really?” He gave Vance a canny look. “Where were these tell-tale objects?”

  “Up-stairs—in the attic.”

  “Aha! Housebreaking?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Withal,” Arnesson scoffed, “I can’t see that you have a cast-iron case against any one. A typewriter is not like a suit of clothes that fits only one person. And who can say how Drukker’s note-book found its way into our attic? —You must do better than that, Mr. Vance.”

  “There is, of course, the factor of opportunity. The Bishop is a person who could have been on hand at the time of each murder.”

  “That is the flimsiest of contributory evidence,” the man countered. “It would not help much toward a conviction.”

  “We might be able to show why the murderer chose the sobriquet of Bishop.”

  “Ah! That unquestionably would help.” A cloud settled on Arnesson’s face, and his eyes became reminiscent. “I’d thought of that, too.”

  “Oh, had you, now?” Vance watched him closely. “And there’s another piece of evidence I haven’t mentioned. Little Miss Muffet will be able to identify the man who led her to the Drukker house and forced her into the closet.”

  “So! The patient has recovered?”

  “Oh, quite. Doing nicely, in fact. We found her, d’ ye see, twenty-four hours before the Bishop intended us to.”

  Arnesson was silent. He was staring down at his hands which, though folded, were working nervously. Finally he spoke.

  “And if, in spite of everything, you were wrong.…”

  “I assure you, Mr. Arnesson,” said Vance quietly, “that I know who is guilty.”

  “You positively frighten me!” The man had got a grip on himself, and he retorted with biting irony. “If, by any chance, I myself were the Bishop, I’d be inclined to admit defeat.… Still, it’s quite obvious that it was the Bishop who took the chessman to Mrs. Drukker at midnight; and I didn’t return home with Belle until half past twelve that night.”

  “So you informed her. As I recall, you looked at your watch and told her what time it was.—Come, now: what time was it?”

  “That’s correct—half past twelve.”

  Vance sighed and tapped the ash from his cigarette.

  “I say, Mr. Arnesson; how good a chemist are you?”

  “One of the best,” the man grinned. “Majored in it.—What then?”

  “When I was searching the attic this morning I discovered a little wall-closet in which some one had been distilling hydrocyanic acid from potassium ferrocyanide. There was a chemist’s gas-mask on hand, and all the paraphernalia. Bitter-almond odor still lurking in the vicinity.”

  “Quite a treasure-trove, our attic. A sort of haunt of Loki, it would seem.”

  “It was just that,” returned Vance gravely, “—the den of an evil spirit.”

  “Or else the laboratory of a modern Doctor Faustus.… But why the cyanide, do you think?”

  “Precaution, I’d say. In case of trouble the Bishop could step out of the picture painlessly. Everything in readiness, don’t y’ know.”

  Arnesson nodded.

  “Quite a correct attitude on his part. Really decent of him, in fact. No use putting people to unnecessary bother if you’re cornered. Yes, very correct.”

  Professor Dillard had sat during this sinister dialogue with one hand pressed to his eyes, as though in pain. Now he turned sorrowfully to the man he had fathered for so many years.

  “Many great men, Sigurd, have justified suicide—” he began; but Arnesson cut him short with a cynical laugh.

  “Faugh! Suicide needs no justification. Nietzsche laid the bugaboo of voluntary death. ‘Auf eine stolze Art sterben, wenn es nicht mehr möglich ist, auf eine stolze Art zu leben. Der Tod unter den veräcktlichsten Bedingungen, ein unfreier Tod, ein Tod zur unrechten Zeit ist ein Feiglings-Tod. Wir haben es nicht in der Hand, zu verhindern, geboren zu werden: aber wir können diesen Fehler—denn bisweilen ist es ein Fehler—wieder gut machen. Wenn man sich abschafft, tut man die achtungswürdigste Sache, die es giebt: man verdient beinahe damit, zu leben.113—Memorized that passage from Götzen-Dämmerung in my youth. Never forgot it. A sound doctrine.”

  “Nietzsche had many famous predecessors who also upheld suicide,” supplemented Vance. “Zeno the Stoic left us a passionate dithyramb defending voluntary death. And Tacitus, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, Cato, Kant, Fichte, Diderot, Voltaire and Rousseau, all wrote apologias for suicide. Schopenhauer protested bitterly against the fact that suicide was regarded as a crime in England.… And yet, I wonder if the subject can be formulated. Somehow I feel that it’s too personal a matter for academic discussion.”

  The professor agreed sadly.

  “No one can know what goes on in the human heart in that last dark hour.”

  During this discussion Markham had been growing impatient and uneasy; and Heath, though at first rigid and watchful, had begun to unbend. I could not see that Vance had made the slightest progress; and I was driven to the conclusion that he had failed signally in accomplishing his purpose of ensnaring Arnesson. However, he did not appear in the least perturbed. I even got the impression that he was satisfied with the way things were going. But I did notice that, despite his outer calm, he was intently alert. His feet were drawn back and poised; and every muscle in his body was taut. I began to wonder what the outcome of this terrible conference would be.

  The end came swiftly. A short silence followed the professor’s remark. Then Arnesson spoke.

  “You say you know who the Bishop is, Mr. Vance. That being the case, why all this palaver?”

  “There was no great haste.” Vance was almost casual. “And there was the hope of tying up a few loose ends,—hung juries are so unsatisfact’ry, don’t y’ know.… Then again, this port is excellent.”

  “The port?… Ah yes.” Arnesson glanced at our glasses, and turned an injured look on the professor. “Since when have I been a teetotaler, sir?”

  The other gave a start, hesitated, and rose.

  “I’m sorry, Sigurd. It didn’t occur to me…you never drink in the forenoon.” He went to the sideboard and, filling another glass, placed it, with an unsteady hand, before Arnesson. Then he refilled the other glasses.

  No sooner had he resumed his seat than Vance uttered an exclamation of surprise. He had half risen and was leaning forward, his hands resting on the edge of the table, his eyes fixed with astonishment on the mantel at the end of the room.

  “My word! I never noticed that before.… Extr’ordin’ry!”

  So unexpected and startling had been his action, and so tense was the atmosphere, that involuntarily we swung about and looked in the direction of his fascinated gaze.

  “A Cellini plaque!” he exclaimed. “The Nymph of Fontainebleau! Berenson told me it was destroyed in the seventeenth century. I’ve seen its companion piece in the Louvre.…”

  A red flush of angry indignation mounted to Markham’s cheeks; and for myself I must say that, familiar as I was with Vance’s idiosyncrasies and intellectual passion for rare antiques, I had never before known him to exhibit such indefensible bad taste. It seemed unbelievable that he would have let himself be distracted by an objet-d’art in such a
tragic hour.

  Professor Dillard frowned at him with consternation.

  “You’ve chosen a strange time, sir, to indulge your enthusiasm for art,” was his scathing comment.

  Vance appeared abashed and chagrined. He sank back in his seat, avoiding our eyes, and began turning the stem of his glass between his fingers.

  “You are quite right, sir,” he murmured. “I owe you an apology.”

  “The plaque, incidentally,” the professor added, by way of mitigating the severity of his rebuke, “is merely a copy of the Louvre piece.”

  Vance, as if to hide his confusion, raised his wine to his lips. It was a highly unpleasant moment: every one’s nerves were on edge; and, in automatic imitation of his action, we lifted our glasses too.

  Vance gave a swift glance across the table and, rising, went to the front window, where he stood, his back to the room. So unaccountable was his hasty departure that I turned and watched him wonderingly. Almost at the same moment the edge of the table was thrust violently against my side, and simultaneously there came a crash of glassware.

  I leapt to my feet and gazed down with horror at the inert body sprawled forward in the chair opposite, one arm and shoulder flung across the table. A short silence of dismay and bewilderment followed. Each of us seemed momentarily paralyzed. Markham stood like a graven image, his eyes fastened on the table; and Heath, staring and speechless, clung rigidly to the back of his chair.

  “Good Gad!”

  It was Arnesson’s astonished ejaculation that snapped the tension.

  Markham went quickly round the table and bent over Professor Dillard’s body.

  “Call a doctor, Arnesson,” he ordered.

  Vance turned wearily from the window and sank into a chair.

  “Nothing can be done for him,” he said, with a deep sigh of fatigue. “He prepared for a swift and painless death when he distilled his cyanide.—The Bishop case is over.”

  Markham was glaring at him with dazed incomprehension.

  “Oh, I’ve half-suspected the truth ever since Pardee’s death,” Vance went on, in answer to the other’s unspoken question. “But I wasn’t sure of it until last night when he went out of his way to hang the guilt on Mr. Arnesson.”