by E. L. Todd
“Even if it was a one-night stand?”
“Definitely a one-night stand. Sara, he’s my closest friend besides you. I can’t afford to lose him.” When I first met Volt, I was attracted to him, but I didn’t like him very much. It took me a while to look past his callous shell before I saw the beauty underneath. Or maybe it just took him a while to show the beauty underneath. Either way, he was now an integral part of my life. He helped me out at work and was the person I went out with on the weekends.
“Oh, really?” Her left eyebrow was arched so high it was about to fly off her face.
“Yes. Really.”
“So, you’re saying there’s not a single chance that you have feelings for this guy?”
“None.”
Now her right eyebrow rose. “Oh, really?”
I hated it when she tried to act like some genius detective. “Yes.”
“Not even a tiny bit of a chance?” She held her forefinger and thumb together and waved it in front of my face.
“No.”
“You made out with him and jerked him off, but you don’t feel a thing?”
“Sara—”
“You have to feel something for this guy. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe your bullshit.”
“I admit I’m attracted to him. But who wouldn’t be?”
“And you call him your best friend, which means you’re attracted to him and you like him as a person. If you ask me, he sounds like the perfect guy.”
I laughed because it was absurd. “He’s not the perfect guy.”
“Why not?”
“He’s the biggest manwhore I know. He doesn’t do relationships, just sexcapades.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Because when we first met, he said that was all he could give to anybody. When I realized he was hollow and superficial, I stopped thinking about him that way.”
“Obviously not if he was the first place you went for some action.”
I narrowed my eyes because I was growing irritated. “Look, I was just depressed and didn’t really know what I was doing.”
“Were you drunk?”
“No…”
“Then you knew what you were doing.”
“Sara, I don’t have feelings for the guy. I’m not sure why we’re even arguing about it because I would have told you the truth if I did.”
“Maybe you’re in denial.”
“Nope.” My desire to be with him died once he tried to kiss me on my doorstep. That feeling of indifference, of looking like another warm body, turned me off so completely that I wanted nothing to do with him. In order for real passion to emerge, there had to be some feelings there. But with Volt, he didn’t feel a single thing for me. After that, I really saw him as a friend—and nothing more.
“You said he was an amazing kisser.”
“I’d be surprised if he wasn’t since he’s kissed all of New York.”
“Or maybe you had some serious chemistry.” She gave me a knowing look.
This was getting old—and fast. “Sara, let it go. Now you’re just getting on my nerves.”
“Fine. I’ll drop it.” She picked up her spoon and began eating again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking it.”
***
Volt walked me home after the movies.
“I liked it.” He walked beside me with one hand in the pocket of his jeans.
“You only liked it because there were titties.”
“So?” he asked with a laugh. “I think titties stop a movie from being ordinary and make it extraordinary.”
“Does that mean every porno is a cinematic masterpiece?”
“Absolutely.”
I rolled my eyes and kept walking. “I thought you didn’t watch porn?”
“Not regularly, but I have. Every guy does it.”
“But if you’re getting laid all the time, why would you need to watch it?”
“Well, it’s very rare when I do watch it. And it happens when I can’t get laid. But since I have quite a sexual appetite, I need to do something.”
“You haven’t had any conquests this week?” It seemed like Volt picked up four to five women a week. It happened everywhere he went, the grocery store, the dry cleaners, anywhere that women went.
“Nothing lately…”
That was a first. “How is that possible?”
“I haven’t been feeling well, so I’ve taken a break.” He put his other hand in his pocket.
In the time I’d known him, I’d never heard him take a break from the bedroom. “Are you sick?”
“Kind of under the weather.”
“You don’t seem sick.” I hadn’t heard a sniff or a cough.
“It’s been mostly the stomach flu. Ate some bad tacos or something.”
“Gotcha.” Now that made sense. We kept walking until we were just a block from my place. There was a bar nearby, but I hadn’t had a chance to stop by. There was so much to see in the city but never enough time.
Just as we passed it, Drew stepped outside with a discolored face. Old bruises covered his cheekbones and his eyes. And there were a few old cuts along his bottom lip. It happened so quickly, I wasn’t sure what I was looking at. It took a moment to focus.
Drew noticed me in that instant, and instead of looking confused about why I hadn’t called or even apologetic for not calling me, he halted in midstep with a look of horror on his face. He took one look at Volt then took off at a dead run. He pushed past people on the sidewalk and hauled ass.
Did that really happen?
Volt kept walking like he hadn’t noticed anything.
“What was that?”
“What?”
“Drew just took off like a madman was chasing him.”
He shrugged. “Beats me.”
None of it was making sense. Drew didn’t even know I caught him in the act at that nightclub. And now he was covered in bruises like he took a serious beating. The second he looked at me, he ran off in terror. What was I missing?
The fact Volt didn’t find it suspicious was even more suspicious.
“Did you do something?” I stopped walking and faced him head on so I could look into his face.
“Do what?” He had the same bored expression on his face like he couldn’t care less about this conversation.
“Something with Drew. Because he looked pretty terrified.”
“Well, I’m a pretty terrifying guy.” He started walking again.
“Volt.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me. Now I knew something was up, and I couldn’t ignore it. “You did something, didn’t you?”
“Like what?”
What else could explain the bruises and the way Drew took off? “You hunted him down, didn’t you?”
Volt shook his head. “Like I don’t have better things to do.”
“And you kicked his ass.”
He rolled his eyes. “Again, I don’t care enough to do something like that. Now let’s get to your apartment because I need a beer.”
“Volt.” My voice became threatening, telling him I wouldn’t drop this until I got the truth out of him. I silently pressed him, eye-mugging him until he caved. He would tell me the truth if I asked him for it. “Tell me what happened.”
Volt slowly began to cave, a resigned look on his face. “If you want me to apologize, you’re wasting your time. I don’t feel bad for what I did, and I never will feel bad for what I did.”
My heart slammed hard into my chest, making me ache. “What did you do?”
“I hunted him down in a club, where he was making a pass at some other bimbo, and when he went into the bathroom, I followed him inside. And that’s when I made him wish he were dead.” Volt held my gaze without blinking, a hint of his former rage shining in his eyes. There was no regret in the look—and definitely no remorse. “He hurt you, so I hurt him more.”
Speechless, I just stared.
Volt stared back, prepared for whatever I migh
t say.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know.”
“And you shouldn’t have. You could have gotten hurt—”
He released a sarcastic laugh.
“Or he could sue you.”
“Don’t care.”
“You didn’t need to defend my honor like that. I appreciate it, but…you didn’t need to do that.”
“I have your back until the end of time, Tayz.” The angry look in his eyes slowly started to fade away. The man I knew was slowly coming back to me, the rage and hostility becoming something of the past.
“Even so, I—”
“What’s done is done.” He started to walk again. “No one hurts my best friend and gets away with it.”
Chapter Twelve
Volt
Clay walked inside right at 3:30 p.m.
He wore the same ripped jeans and flimsy t-shirt. One of the zippers on his backpack was broken, so the bag hung open when it was on his back. He sat in the chair across from me and set his stuff on the ground. There were no bruises on his face today, but his hair was still a mess.
He looked homeless.
“Hey, Clay.” I had the stack of books beside me because I suspected he didn’t have the things he needed.
“Hey, Volt.” He faced me across the small table and immediately looked out of place. He examined the room, studying the gray walls and mahogany furniture. It was a type of luxury he probably never experienced in his life.
“How’s it going?”
“Fine.” He didn’t ask me the same question in return. Up until that point, he still hadn’t looked at me.
“Are you ready to study?”
“I guess.”
I opened the SAT book and turned it upside down so he could read the words. “We’re going to start with vocabulary. You’ll read each sentence and determine the meaning of the underlined word.” It was the shortest section of the SAT but arguably the most difficult one.
“Uh, okay.”
I pointed to the sentence and waited for him to begin.
He stared at it blankly before he glanced at me. When he saw my stare, he turned back to the paper. Instead of his eye following along with the words, he just stared at it.
What was the holdup? “How about you read it out loud?”
“It’s okay,” he said quickly.
My eyes narrowed. “Then what does antagonist mean in the sentence?”
He kept his eyes glued to the paper, and minutes went by without him saying a word.
I gave him all the time he needed so he wouldn’t feel pressured, but when three minutes passed, I assumed he didn’t have a clue. “The best way to approach this type of question is to read it completely and understand what the sentence is about. Then you can backtrack and make an appropriate guess.”
“Okay.”
“So, how about you read the sentence out loud.” I was curious to know what his reading level was at the moment. It was probably lower than the sophomore level, but how low?
He shifted his position several times before he began reading. “The…he…here…”
“Hero.”
“The hero,” he repeated. “de…de…fe…”
“Defeats.”
“The dra…drag…”
“Dragon in the…cas…cas—”
“Castle. He is the…ant…ant…”
“Antagonist.”
“Antagonist.” He continued sounding out the rest of the sentence like a five-year-old, and it took nearly ten minutes for him to arrive at the end of the sentence. By the time he got there, he forgot what he just read.
He was even more behind than I feared.
I’d never had a student with such poor reading skills, and I feared how bad his math would be. If I wanted him to get a decent score on the SAT, I’d have to teach him everything—from the beginning.
Clay rested his temple against his palm and stared at the surface of the table. The spunk he showed before was nonexistent. The shame wafted from him in waves.
And I pitied him. He didn’t have any of the resources to succeed, and without my help, he would walk away from high school without even graduating and probably get caught up in some bad shit.
I was his only hope.
“That was a good start, Clay.”
The disbelief on his face was unmistakable. “It was?”
“Yeah. We’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve had students start at lower levels.” That was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Really?” He straightened in his chair and put his hand down.
“Yeah. But it’s going to take a lot of hard work. I hope you’re up to it.”
“I am.”
“Great.” I gave him a smile before I turned back to the notebook. “Let’s move on.”
***
I glanced at my phone for the fifteenth time and hoped there was a message from Taylor.
There wasn’t.
I got home late that night but didn’t want to hang out in my apartment. I wanted to go out and do something, but I didn’t want to go out alone. I wanted to be with Taylor. She made me laugh in ways I hadn’t felt since I was a child. She made me feel good about myself even on my worst day. And she just made me happy in general.
But I saw her last night and the night before…and the night before that. If I kept this up, it was bound to annoy her. She wasn’t my only friend, and I certainly wasn’t hers.
Now I was overthinking everything, wondering what she thought when I asked to see her. What did she think when I just stopped by her apartment?
Why did I care?
After sitting around for long enough, I just went ahead and texted her. Dinner plans?
Nope. Forgot about it since I’m buried under lab reports.
Sounds like you need a break. Pita Paradise?
Uh, duh.
That was her favorite place to eat, so I knew she wouldn’t say no. I’ll see you there in fifteen minutes.
K.
I went to my closet and pulled on a dark pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt. It fit my chest perfectly, and the jeans hung low on my hips. Whenever I was trying to attract attention, this was the type of thing I wore. I examined my arms in the mirror and felt the muscle. When they didn’t look big enough, I got on the floor and did twenty push-ups. Blood moved to the muscles and made them bulge.
I left my apartment and headed to the restaurant. I got there first because I was closer, and I got a table in the garden located on the side of the restaurant. Plants and flowers were scattered around the enclosure, and birds still chirped despite the sun’s absence.
My heart was beating fast.
Why was it pounding so hard? Why did I feel the rush of blood to my head? Why did I feel the distant tingle in my fingertips?
Taylor entered the restaurant then approached the door to the patio. This was where we ate last time, so she probably just assumed that’s where I would be. She wore a champagne pink dress that fit snugly around her waist and flared out around her hips. Nude pumps were on her feet, and her legs looked long and toned. Her brown hair was in loose curls, pulled over one shoulder, and looked soft as hell. She hardly wore makeup like usual, but her eyes seemed to stand out that evening.
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
When she spotted me, she smiled then headed my way.
I didn’t know what to do. I froze on the spot. That dull ache in my chest returned in full force, and my mouth was painfully dry. I tried to think of what to do and wasn’t sure why I was thinking at all.
She reached the table and placed her clutch on the surface.
That’s when I darted out of my chair and wrapped my arms around her. The impulse came out of thin air, and when my arms were wrapped around her small figure, I felt at peace. It was the same sensation I felt when we were lying in my bed together. I could feel the distinct curves of her hips as they led to her waist. I detected the indentation of her ribs through the fabric. Her smell wash
ed over me at the same time, and a vivid image of us kissing came to mind.
Taylor froze when she felt my embrace, clearly not expecting it. Her arms rested on mine, and she held her breath. “Uh, everything alright?”
Realizing how stupid I looked, I pulled away. “Yeah. Of course.” I shoved my hands in my pockets so fast I actually missed and threw them down my thighs. I tried to cover it up by acting like I was brushing something off my jeans.
Her eyebrow rose.
“It seemed like you needed a hug…after all those lab reports.”
When her eyebrow fell, I knew she took the bait. “True. They are daunting.” She reached for her chair.
Like the idiot that I was, I moved behind her and pulled the chair out for her. I hadn’t pulled a stunt like this in so long, I couldn’t remember. It surprised me most of all that I had any manners.
Taylor fell into the chair and looked at me over her shoulder.
I pretended everything was perfectly normal and sat across from her. Her gaze was drilling into my face, the disbelief more paramount than the awkwardness. I grabbed the menu and pretended to browse it even though I already knew what I was having.
Taylor kept up her stare for another minute before she grabbed her menu.
I knew I was acting like a weirdo. But I had no idea why. The last thing I wanted was for her to question me about it because I didn’t have any of the answers. “Hummus?” We usually ordered a plate to share.
“Like we would ever come here and not order it. I’d never forgive myself.”
I chuckled. “You’re right.”
The waiter took our drink and food order, and once he was gone, so were our menus. Now I had nothing to hide behind. I had to stare at her and keep my aura of confidence even though I felt anything but collected.
Taylor stared at me with her usual expression. A ghost of a smile was on her lips, and her eyes had a distant twinkle. They were unusually glossy, slightly wet at all times, and they reflected the light better than any other pair of eyes I’d gazed into. Right now, they reflected the white lights hanging in the garden just behind me. It looked like a constellation of stars in her eyes. As if she held the answers to the mystery of our very universe.
I could look into them all day.
“Volt?”
The sound of conversation became louder when I was brought back to reality. My eyes took in her entire face, and I saw her lips moving. “Sorry?”
