by E. L. Todd
“I asked you to pass the dessert menu three times. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I grabbed the plastic stand and accidentally knocked over the bottle of oil. It tipped on its side but didn’t break, thankfully. I quickly righted it then handed over the menu.
She took it, but her suspicion was directed right at me.
Before she could ask the question she had every right to ask, I changed the subject. “Already thinking about dessert before we’ve even had the appetizer? That sounds about right.”
A smile formed on her lips, and she looked down at the menu. “That’s how I roll.”
I felt sweat form on my forehead, and I quickly wiped it away. My heart was beating so fast it actually hurt. My dick was hard in my jeans, and my breathing was haywire. I wasn’t sure if I was having a panic attack or just a heart attack.
All I could think about was the softness of her lips. They felt perfect against mine. When they brushed past one another, they took hold before they broke apart again. The distinct taste of cherry was on her lips, concentrated from her ChapStick. I’d never been so turned on from a kiss in all my life. I was even fantasizing about it.
I hadn’t seen her naked, but now I kept picturing how she would look. Her tits were average, but I bet they were firm and round. Her nipples would probably feel amazing in my mouth.
I shifted my weight in the chair because my dick was pressing hard against the zipper.
Her words kept echoing in my mind. Fuck me, Volt. Fuck me hard.
God, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I’d been aroused before, but this anxiety had never accompanied it. My feet had been pulled from the earth, and I floated far above the ground. I couldn’t catch my footing, and I spun out of control. Chills ran up my spine, but I was painfully hot at the same time.
I didn’t even know who I was at the moment.
The waiter set the hummus and pita bread in front of us, and Taylor immediately grabbed a piece. She scooped the bread into the creamy hummus and popped it into her mouth. She closed her eyes and released a quiet moan from her lips. “Oh god…”
My dick twitched, and my heart raced even faster. I knew she was talking about the hummus, but I pictured her talking about something else. A vivid picture of her lying on her back underneath me, her tits shaking with every thrust I made, exploded into my mind.
And I pictured the face she made when she came.
***
“Taylor seems to be doing better.” Derek sat across from me at the table in the bar.
I glanced over to see Taylor and Natalie standing near the TV. They both had a drink in their hands, and they were watching the game. “Yeah. She’s bounced back.” I stared at her curves in the black dress she wore, and I knew I wasn’t the only man turning her way.
“That guy was an idiot,” Derek said. “Taylor is so fucking hot. Why would you—”
“Say that again and you won’t have any teeth.” My hand formed a fist on the table, and I stared him down like an executioner.
Derek was just about to take a drink of his beer but decided against it. “I’m just saying—”
“Don’t say anything about her, alright?” I forced my hand to relax, and I turned my gaze back to Taylor on the other side of the room. “She’s not a piece of meat. How would you feel if I said that about Natalie?”
“Wouldn’t give a damn. And I’m surprised you would give a damn.”
“She’s my friend.” I didn’t need to explain it further than that.
“Just your friend?” Suspicion was heavy in his voice.
“Yes. Just my friend.” I watched Taylor laugh at something Natalie said. I couldn’t hear the sound, but I imagined it in my head because I’d heard it so many times.
“Dude, you spend every waking hour with this woman. She’s not your friend, and we both know it.”
“Don’t act like you know what I’m thinking or feeling. Trust me, I don’t have a thing for her.”
Derek rolled his eyes then drank his beer. “This has something to do with her. I know it does.”
I knew who he was referring to, and I was grateful he didn’t say her name. It was the ugliest name I’d ever heard. When I hit on a girl with that same name, I ditch her in a heartbeat. “It doesn’t.”
“She did something to you, didn’t she? That’s the only explanation. Because you changed overnight.”
“Drop it, man.”
“I don’t know what happened between you two, but whatever you have with Taylor is different. I can tell.”
He could? “You don’t know anything about our relationship.”
“I know she’s replaced me as your best friend.” He sounded a little bitter, like he was trying to mask it but failed to do so.
“No, she hasn’t.”
“Cut the shit. Yes, she has. A guy and a girl can’t be best friends unless one of them is gay. And I know you aren’t gay, so that must mean Taylor is a lesbian.”
“Shut up, man.”
“Whatever.” He fell silent and took a long drink of his beer.
I didn’t have feelings for Taylor. I refused to go down that road—with anyone. I’d already had my heart ripped out of my chest and it’d never healed. The scars were still there—along with all the memories. I’d never been afraid of pain in all my life, but heartbreak was something that affected everyone.
And it affected me.
To put myself out there again and get trampled was something I’d never consider. I liked my life the way it was, going from woman to woman and never having anything significant with them. I forgot their names and faces the moment we were finished.
It was so easy.
But I hadn’t done that in a while. I stayed home every night waiting for Taylor to text me. I convinced myself I was just trying to look after her after Drew hurt her, but now I wasn’t so sure.
I wasn’t sure of anything.
My eyes wandered around the room until I found a pretty girl. Blonde or brunette, I didn’t care. Tall or short, what difference did it make? I had to prove to myself that my heart was still my own. Taylor was just my friend, and the only feelings I felt for her were lust.
And lust alone.
***
I pounded into Trish and listened to my headboard smack against the wall. I was giving it to her hard and rough, trying to fuck the feelings out of my heart. Her legs were wrapped around my waist, and she was moaning loudly, wanting even more than I was already giving her.
Her nails dragged down my back, cutting into me slightly. I liked the pain. It made me feel alive.
She already climaxed just a minute ago, and now it was my turn to take the plunge. My body was covered in sweat, and every sensation felt so good. I wasn’t thinking about Taylor. I was just thinking about sex.
I made my final thrusts into her, feeling the delectable sensation start deep in my groin and spread out everywhere. I stared at her blonde hair and watched it change to brown. The strands got longer, reaching her shoulders and her tits. Her green eyes immediately turned blue, crystal clear like the water of a tropical island. Her lips changed from thin to plump, and her moans even changed in tune.
And then I came.
“Taylor…” I filled the tip of the condom with the most seed I’d ever released. My body became blinding hot, and all the sensation increased by tenfold. It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. My head swirled in a rush of emotions, all of them physical and undying.
The orgasm seemed to go on forever, and when it finally dwindled, reality came back into play. Her hair became blonde and her eyes green. She didn’t stare at me with a look of satisfaction, but a look of horror. “Fucking asshole.” She pushed me off violently, causing me to roll over onto the sheets.
She grabbed her dress and hastily pulled it on before she stepped into her heels and stormed out of my apartment. I knew she was gone when my front door slammed shut.
I lay back and stared at the ceiling, still breathing hard.
The undeniable truth hit me like a slab of bricks. Now I couldn’t deny everything I felt. Taylor was on my mind, and she infected every inch of me. I couldn’t shake her because she was a part of me.
And that terrified me.
Chapter Thirteen
Taylor
Natalie walked into my classroom at the end of the day. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” Now that the school day was over. “How about you?”
“I’m ready for the school year to end.”
“But it just started.”
She shrugged then hopped onto one of the desks. “Just not feeling it this year. You’ll see what I mean one day.”
I already knew exactly what she meant.
“So, Peter and I are going out again on Friday.”
He was some guy she met at the bar when I caught Drew grinding up against that woman. “Really? That’s great.”
“Yeah.” She crossed her legs then leaned forward over the desk. “I guess so.”
“I’m guessing you don’t like him that much?”
“I don’t know…” Her eyes drifted away, and she looked at the posters of the solar system on the wall. “I mean, I do. But…I still think about Jared.”
“You’ll stop eventually.”
“It’s hard when I see him all the time. I’ve had feelings for him since…forever.” Natalie wasn’t always this vulnerable with me, and the only time she was seemed to happen when Jared was the subject of the conversation. “I know it’s stupid because he’s just some guy who doesn’t notice me, but I love him.”
I gave her a sad look, pitying her deep in my heart. I saw the way she looked at him, and then I saw the way he looked at her. Their stares were completely opposite. One had an overwhelming amount of emotion, and the other lacked any interest. “I’m sorry, Natalie.”
“It’s okay,” she said with a sigh. “You were right when you told me to move on. I’ve wasted a lot of time waiting for him.”
“You’re so beautiful and smart, Nat. You’ll find a guy who’s head over heels for you.”
“I hope so.”
“Maybe Peter is that guy.”
“Maybe,” she said noncommittally. “But I need to stop seeing Jared if I’m ever going to make this work. Because if I see him all the time, I’ll always feel something for him. And how would that be fair to any guy I date?”
“True.”
“So…I think I’m going to pull away from the group.”
It would completely change the dynamic, but it was probably the best thing for her. “It won’t be forever.”
“I know. It’ll still be weird.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t hang out all the time.”
“If you aren’t too busy with Volt.” She gave me a teasing look, except it wasn’t that teasing.
I suspected I would get these accusations as long as Volt and I were friends. “All three of us can hang out.”
“I wouldn’t want to ruin your date nights.”
I rolled my eyes. “He and I really are just friends. I’m not sure why people find that so hard to believe.”
“Because you’re both hot. How can you not be attracted to each other?”
“I never said I wasn’t attracted to him.” Because I was. “But I don’t see him in a romantic way.”
“Not even after you kissed him and gave him a rub down?”
“No.” I said it with complete honesty. I wasn’t hiding anything from anyone, including myself.
“But how is that possible?”
“Because I know what kind of relationship he would give me. It would be empty and meaningless, and in the end, I would just be unsatisfied. I want something more from a guy, and I know he’ll never give it to me. I want something deep and romantic. You know, the kind of love you see in books and movies. That’s exactly what I want, and that’s just not possible with Volt.”
“But how do you know unless you give it a try?” she asked.
“Because that kind of love happens the moment you meet. You know what I’m talking about. You see each other for the first time, and the chemistry is just there…”
“I think you have unrealistic expectations.”
“Maybe.” Maybe romance didn’t happen exactly the way it did in movies and books, but I had to believe it did. “But I’m not going to settle either. I’d rather spend my life waiting for Mr. Right than be with a man who doesn’t make me happy.” The first time Volt and I met, he hardly looked at me. All he cared about were the women in short, tight dresses and how their tits almost popped out. When he looked at me, there was nothing there. A deep friendship formed later, and it was a relationship I valued immensely. I never wanted to lose him from my life because I did love him…in a platonic way. But that’s all we would ever be.
Natalie studied my face before she responded. “Alright. I believe you.”
“About time.”
“All the women love Volt, so I just assumed you did too. But I get it now. And I think you’re smart. He’s the kind of guy you sleep with, not go to sleep with. If you catch my drift.”
I understood it better than she did. “I definitely do.”
“So, are you on the market again?”
“I guess.” It’d been a few weeks since Drew and I went our separate ways, and I should take my own advice and get back on the horse. But I was a little discouraged after that relationship. I was certain Drew was a good guy, and he played me like a fool.
“Maybe you should try a dating app. Lots of people do that.”
“Yeah…” But it was embarrassing to tell people that. If I did meet someone online, it made it seem like I couldn’t get my own dates. “A little strange, though.”
“I don’t think so. A lot of people do it.”
“What if I meet a creep?”
“I’m sure there are creeps on there. But you’re a smart girl who can spot them out.”
Or could I? “I guess I could give it a shot.”
“Take Volt with you so they know not to mess with you.”
I couldn’t believe Volt viciously attacked Drew like that. Even days after the incident, Drew looked terrible. Volt did something I never would have approved of, but knowing he risked his neck to look out for me was sweet…in a violent way. “I’m not telling Volt anything. He’s been weird lately.”
“Weird, how?”
“I can’t even explain it.” He was timid and skittish. He made awkward gestures toward me, like hugging me or pulling out my chair. But then he didn’t listen to a word I said over dinner. His mind was somewhere else the entire time. “And I know he’ll make fun of me for it. He teased me about Drew every chance he got. He’ll be a million times worse now.”
“Volt is opinionated, that’s for sure.”
“I’ll give it a try. But if I meet a weirdo, then I’m done.”
“I think that’s fair.” She hopped off the desk and pulled out her phone. “Alright. Let me take a picture of you for your profile picture.”
“We’re doing this right now?” I asked incredulously.
“Yep. I’ll set up your account, and you’ll be good to go.”
I guess there wasn’t a better time than now. “Just let me go to the bathroom and fix my hair.”
***
“Come in.” I knew Volt was at the door. He texted me a few minutes ago and told me he was on the way.
He walked inside with a six-pack of beer in his hand. He wore jeans and a t-shirt, like always. Instead of saying hi to me, he darted to the refrigerator and popped off the lids of two beers. Then he returned and handed me one.
I took a drink before I set it on the coffee table. My lesson plan for the next week was spread out, right beside the first midterm I would be distributing in a few days. It was worth a lot of points, and I wanted Volt’s opinion before I handed them out. If the parents didn’t like it, my life would be more difficult.
Volt sat at the far end of the couch and hugged the armrest. He was so far away he c
ouldn’t see the lesson plans unless he leaned over and craned his neck down in a painful way.
Something didn’t feel right. He hadn’t said a word to me, and he treated me like I had a deadly virus that was contagious. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He drank his beer again.
“Then why are you sitting way over there?”
“It’s more comfortable.”
“But you can’t see any of the papers.” Seriously, what was his deal? He got weirder and weirder.
He eyed the space between us with uncertainty. Then he finally made the move and slid over, purposely keeping extra space between us. And he gripped his beer like he needed it to keep living.
I’d come to know Volt pretty well over the past few months, and I’d never seen him act this way. He was a completely different person, someone I didn’t even know. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’ve been different lately.”
“I’m not different,” he snapped. “I’ve just been tired at work and stuff. You didn’t do anything.”
I didn’t do anything? “I never asked if you were mad at me.”
“Well, I’m not. I don’t feel anything toward you.”
Even weirder. “Okay…”
“I picked up this girl the other night. Trish something…”
Even his tone of voice wasn’t the same. His features were slack, and the usual playfulness he displayed was absent. “Good…do you like her?”
“I don’t like anybody. Single forever. I already said that.”
Now his hostility annoyed me. “If you’re going to be a dick all night, just go. I have a lot of stuff I have to do.”
“How am I being a dick? All I said was I don’t do relationships, and I won’t change my mind.”
And it was random as hell. “I know…you said that already. I’m not even sure why we’re talking about this. I assumed you were here to help me with work. But it seems like you have something else on your mind.”
“I have nothing else on my mind.”
I just wanted to get out of this conversation—pronto. “What do you think of this midterm?” I handed it over.
He set down his beer and flipped through the test, taking his time and reading every single question. He leaned back into the couch and finally sat normally. He rested his ankle on the opposite knee, and his features began to soften and fade from the scowl he walked in wearing.
