Stay

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “There’s only one problem with this.” I hated to bring up any difference between Casey and me, but I had too. “Casey’s mind can be influenced since she’s half bear, but mine can’t.”

  “We know.” Daria appeared unconcerned. “You aren’t going to let me influence your mind, you are going to make the choice to follow Casey into her subconscious. If you are the one choosing to do it, everything will work.”

  “Have you done this before?” The woman asked Daria. “Are you sure it’s safe? There’s powerful magic at play. By allowing himself to be part of this isn’t he opening himself up to being harmed?”

  “I don’t care.” I brushed off her concern immediately. “I will do whatever you think will help Casey. I’d rather she not have to do this alone.”

  Taliana smiled. “I knew I had a good feeling about you.”

  “You know I’m going to make this up to you.” Casey tugged on my hand.

  I smiled. “Make it up to me by being okay. That’s all I’m asking.”

  “I can do better than that.”

  Gareth cleared his throat. “Do you really want to say such things with your father in the room?”

  Casey shot me a look. I think all this father talk was beginning to mess with her. “I’m just kidding.”

  “Ok, good.”

  I lay down next to Casey, trying to stay off the crack between the two couches but wanting to stay close. I couldn’t really believe we were about to willingly put ourselves into some deep sleep. Then again I knew I’d do anything to help Casey so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

  I wrapped my hand around Casey’s. “I’ll be with you.”

  “I know you will be.” She squeezed my hand back. “But, Toby?”

  “Yes?” I turned my head to look at her.

  “No judging me on anything you see. I mean letting you inside my head is a little nerve wracking.”

  “You mean you don’t tell me everything?” I joked.

  “I tell you most.”

  “No judgments at all. Zero.”

  “Good.”

  “When you’re ready, you both need to close your eyes,” Daria said from above us. “But take your time. This all needs to be at a natural pace.”

  “Natural pace?” Casey asked. “Is there anything natural about what’s happening?”

  “Actually, yes. My magic comes from a very natural place. My tree. I promise this isn’t like any magic you’ve experienced before.”

  “And Toby will be okay?” Casey sounded panicked for me.

  “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  “Just stay focused on the goal,” Daria explained. “Everything else will fall into place.”

  “And the goal is to get the magic out of my head?” Casey asked.

  Everyone laughed.

  She sat up slightly. “What? It’s a reasonable question. I just want to double check.”

  “That’s the goal,” Daria touched Casey’s arm. “Just lie down.”

  “Okay, let’s try this again.” Casey rested her head back.

  I waited until Casey had closed her eyes before closing mine. I held her hand securely in mine. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing, but I hoped it came naturally. Daria had seemed confident of it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Casey

  Daria’s touch was feather light on my forehead, but I immediately felt the effects of it. I was overcome with a strong calming sensation, my body relaxed, and the pounding headache that had been mounting began to disappear.

  I focused on the comfort, and the only other sensation I was aware of was Toby’s hand wrapped around mine. His touch was strong and grounding. It provided a tranquility of its own.

  Things were foggy for a few minutes, like the feeling you have after waking up suddenly from a dream. I just let the fog set in, trying to save my energy for when I really needed it. Then slowly the fog started to dissipate, and I was no longer on the couch, I was standing in the middle of a city street.

  I looked all around me, trying to get my bearings, but nothing looked familiar. I started to panic. Where was I? Why was I all alone?

  “I’m here.” Toby’s voice calmed me immediately.

  I glanced around for him. “Toby? Where are you?”

  “I’m here,” he repeated.

  “Where’s here?”

  “I’m here.”

  Each time he said the two words they sounded exactly the same. No louder, no softer. “Toby?”

  “I’m here.”

  I walked down the street. “Where are you? Show me where you are.”

  “I’m here.”

  His voice sounded like it was behind me, so I turned around again. “Toby?”

  “I’m here.”

  I started running. Where was he?

  “I’m here.”

  I ran faster. I needed to find him. That was what I was supposed to be doing, right? The goal was to find Toby?

  Wait. No. It wasn’t. I stopped running. “I’m supposed to push the magic out.”

  “I’m here.” Toby’s voice came from right next to me.

  I looked down and found the old teddy bear I used to sleep with as a kid. I picked it up.

  “I’m here.”

  “What?” I spoke out loud. It hadn’t been Toby, it had been a toy? I needed to stay focused. This wasn’t about Toby; it was about the dark magic.

  I spun around, trying to figure out what direction to go. I still held the bear, not sure what to do.

  “Hello?” a small voice said.

  I glanced around, half expecting to find another toy, but it was a little girl. It was me I realized with frightening certainty. I was looking at myself as a kid. I stumbled back.

  “Can I have my teddy bear back? I can’t sleep without it.” The girl walked toward me.

  I held out the bear. “Here, take it.”

  I was so hot, and sweat started to pour down my face. “Mommy told me that bears will protect me. She said I had an inner bear. Do you like bears?”

  I shook my head, not sure what to say to make this vision disappear. It had to be a vision. It couldn’t be real. Find the magic I reminded myself. “Take the bear. Be careful.” I handed the bear off and started down the street. I glanced over my shoulder, and the girl and the bear were gone.

  I kept walking in the same direction, not sure what else to do. Where was this magic? Where could I find it?

  “You’re not innocent,” a male voice said from right behind me.

  I whirled around coming face to face with Finn. I said nothing, not as angry at him as I should have been. Hadn’t he hurt me? But then another memory surfaced, a more recent one. “You helped me.”

  “You’re not innocent. Once you accept that you’ll find your strength.”

  “What do you mean? Innocent how?”

  “In everything. You’re not always the victim. You can’t always play the victim.”

  “I don’t play the victim.” The anger was back full force. “But you used me.”

  “I didn’t use you. I had to leave you.”

  “Why?”

  “Does the why matter?”

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “No. You love someone else.”

  “I gave myself to you.”

  “Physically, yes, but is that what’s important right now? Is this what you’re supposed to be doing?”

  “No. Leave me alone.”

  “I will.” He turned and disappeared into thin air.

  I buried my face in my hands. I was losing it entirely.

  I moved my hands away, and I was no longer on the street. I was in the woods. It was so dark, dark the way it used to be before I transformed for the first time. Why was my night vision gone? Was I no longer a Pteron?

  “You think you’re really a Laurent?” A voice called from above me.

  I squinted up to look just as a man jumped down from a tree.

  “Levi?”

  “Answer me.
Do you think you really are?”

  I hesitated. What was I supposed to say? “No. Maybe.”

  “A Laurent has confidence.” He stepped toward me. “Show me your confidence.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Try harder.” He leaned in close. “Try harder.”

  “I will.”

  “Good.” He disappeared into thin air just like Finn.

  I blinked a few times. He was really gone. Find the magic. Find the magic. I needed to focus, but how? How was I supposed to focus when half-brothers were jumping from trees?

  I closed my eyes tight, trying to clear my head. I waited a few seconds before opening them again. I was in Toby’s apartment. I heard voices coming from down the hall.

  “I’ve waited so long for this.” Toby laughed the way he usually only did with me. Who was he talking to?

  “Me too. At least she’s out of the way now.” My chest clenched. I knew that voice well. It couldn’t be though. Toby would never be with Vera.

  I was frozen in place, I couldn’t move.

  “Go on, go watch.”

  I turned around, nearly knocking into Jared. He was shirtless and bleeding in a few spots. “You might as well get it over with.”

  “I can’t. I can’t watch that.”

  “Why not? Maybe you can join in.” He sneered.

  “That’s disgusting.”

  “Is it? Is it more disgusting than us sleeping together?”

  His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You still think that? You think it was disgusting?”

  “Of course, but that’s okay. We all make mistakes don’t we? We make mistakes and move on. Isn’t that what life’s about? Moving on?”

  “Just leave me alone.” I couldn’t worry about Jared. I was supposed to be doing something else. What was it? Oh yeah. I was supposed to be checking on Toby.

  I walked down the hall.

  “You’re so gorgeous, perfect.” He was on top of her. I couldn’t see her, but I knew it was her. He was admiring my sister, calling her perfect.

  “They make a good couple, don’t they? A much better couple than you.” Jared smirked.

  “Shut up.”

  “Stop living in the past.”

  Toby turned. “What are you doing here?”

  “I… I came to see you.”

  “Why? Why would I want you here?”

  “Toby…. I thought.”

  “You thought what?” He didn’t move off of her, he just watched me.

  “I thought you loved me.”

  He smiled. “Oh, Casey. Casey. Why would you think that?”

  Jared laughed from next to me. “She’s so gullible isn’t she?”

  “You do love me. I know that. It’s her. She’s the one manipulating you.”

  “Me?” Vera said in a sugary sweet voice. “Would I ever do that?”

  I started sweating again. “Yes. He doesn’t want to be with you. You’re controlling him.”

  “Casey?” Toby’s voice came from next to me. “I’ve been searching for you everywhere.”

  “Wait…” I looked at Toby standing there clothed. I turned back to the bed. The other version of Toby was still there on top of Vera. But was it Vera? I squeezed Toby’s hand. The real Toby. He had to be the real one.

  “That isn’t me.”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “Do you know?” a voice asked from behind me. “Do you know which one is the real Toby?”

  I turned around. “Tiffany? What are you doing here?”

  “I was worried about you. I told you I’d visit.”

  “I’m sorry you got pulled into all of this. It’s all my fault.” I’d never really apologized for it. That was what I was supposed to be doing. Apologizing. There. I finally remembered.

  “That’s ok. It’s not your fault. You’re innocent in all this. You’re the victim.”

  Finn’s words flashed through my head. Hadn’t he just said I wasn’t the victim? “No. I’m not the victim.”

  “Really? Are you sure about that?”

  I thought about what Levi had said. About confidence. “I am sure. I’m not a victim.”

  “Yes you are. You’ve always been the victim. Everyone in your life hid things from you.”

  “That’s in the past.” I squeezed Toby’s hand. The real Toby. “Everything is in the past. Life is about moving on.”

  “So are you just going to move on now? Move on from watching the love of your life with your sister?”

  “No. That’s not Toby. I’m sure of it.”

  “This is Toby? You’re sure.” She pointed at the Toby holding my hand.

  “Yes.”

  “Oh. Let’s find out for sure.” She stepped toward him and every alarm in my body went off. I moved to transform, but my wings didn’t work. I looked down. I was back in the straight jacket. If I couldn’t get my wings out there was nothing I could do.

  There’s a bear inside you. My young voice echoed through my head. The straight jacket disappeared, and I was me, but I wasn’t. Everything looked different. I glanced down. I had paws. What was I? Was I a bear?

  Tiffany had her hands on Toby, she was chanting something. The chanting sounded familiar. A memory of being tied down in the cave came back. A shadowy figure with a robe leaned over me chanting the same words in the same voice. Wait. Could it be possible? I closed my eyes shut and tried to remember. The fog lifted, and everything clicked. Tiffany was the boss. I lunged for her, pushing her away from Toby.

  “Get off me!” She yelled. “You’re not a bear! You’re not a bear!”

  I refused to listen. I could be whatever I needed to be. I held her down, not sure what to do. Part of me longed to tear her apart, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

  She reached up and started to strangle me. My eyes started watering, and I couldn’t breathe.

  “You can’t do it. You’re weak. You’re a weak girl who can’t do anything.”

  I needed to kill her. I needed to destroy her, but I couldn’t. I was too afraid. Everything was getting dark. “I can’t do this,” I tried to choke out, but I couldn’t speak.

  “But I can.” Vera stepped off the bed, but before I could focus on her long she transformed into a bear. Tiffany’s hands loosened. I stepped back and looked away knowing what was coming. Vera growled, and Tiffany screamed.

  Tiffany screamed again. I couldn’t watch even though I knew it wasn’t real. None of this could be real.

  Toby squeezed my hand. “Casey?”

  “I love you.” Those were the only words I could muster.

  “I love you, too.” He led me out of the room, away from the cries. “We can go now. We can go back.”

  The fuzziness was back. The haze. I couldn’t feel anything but Toby’s hand on mine. The one sensation that seemed to continue through everything.

  “Casey?” It was my mom’s voice this time. I blinked a few times, finally opening my eyes. “Honey?”

  I looked to my right. Toby was right there. He smiled at me.

  “Did you see all that? Did you see?”

  He nodded. “I was there the whole time. You just couldn’t see me.”

  “I trusted you.”

  He sat up and pulled me onto his lap. “Yes, and more importantly you trusted yourself.”

  “That last part. Did you see what I became?”

  “Yes. I was impressed with how you took care of her.”

  “But I didn’t. I made Vera do it.”

  “It was all you, Case. It was all your mind. Vera wasn’t there anymore than Levi, Finn, or Jared. That was just another vision.”

  “Oh…” I looked at Mom again. “Oh. Wait. Tiffany. I know who the boss is. It’s Tiffany.” That realization was a hard one to swallow. She’d tricked me. She’d tricked all of us.

  “We know.” Gareth said from next to me.

  “What?” I asked with confusion.

  “Jared told us.” Hailey appeared next to my mom. “He sent us here. He’s on the
way to help Levi and Allie.”

  “What?” I was still so confused. “And who’s we?”

  “Hey, Bates.” Eric moved next to Hailey and grinned. “It’s always nice to see you.”

  “When did they get here?”

  “About an hour ago,” Mom said calmly.

  “An hour?” Toby asked. “Were we out that long?”

  “You were out for over three hours,” the healer explained.

  “Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to think.

  “Do you think you could do what you did in real life?” Toby asked quietly.

  I knew exactly what he was asking. Could I take bear form? “I don’t know.”

  “Would you want to?”

  “Yes.” I’d liked being a bear. It hadn’t come quite as naturally as my wing transformation, but it was a sensation I enjoyed. There was a different type of strength and instinct associated, one that only came when you became an animal completely.

  “Then you should try it.”

  “Not now.”

  “Yeah, I think we’ve got enough on our plate.” He ran his hands through my hair. “How are you feeling?”

  “Normal, or as normal as I’ve ever felt.”

  He laughed. “Good.”

  “Do you feel any more of that magic?” Mom asked the healer.

  “No.” The healer looked into my eyes. “But we should watch her carefully just in case.”

  “Then I think it’s time for the ceremony,” Gareth leaned over us. “Do you feel up for it?”

  “I don’t know what the ceremony is, but I am feeling better.”

  “I’ll have your mother explain everything to you while you get dressed.”

  “Dressed?” I looked down at my jeans and t-shirt. “I need to change?”

  “Yes.” Gareth smiled. “We all do.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Vera

  Offering to go with Jared to find the king and queen was probably a mistake. I don’t know exactly what I was thinking, or if I was thinking at all. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Jared needed the help of a bear whether he knew it or not, and I wanted to be the bear to help. That was the root of the problem. I wanted to be that bear not only because I was strong, but because I wanted more time around Jared. That desire was dangerous.

  I got dressed, getting increasingly tired of wearing the same clothes more than once. Luckily I’d slipped into a new cami and shorts by the cave, but I had a feeling I’d be wearing this set for a few days. I’d learned to go without a bra pretty quickly after joining the Urusus. It was hard enough keeping underwear lying around. I’d learned a cami could go a long way.