Love at Last Call

by M. Ullrich

  “What the hell, Berit?” Lauren was hot on Berit’s heels.

  The back door to the Dollhouse opened and Lou walked in, noticing the obvious tension immediately. She raised her hands in innocence and walked past Berit and Lauren.

  “Why are you acting so shitty?”

  Berit ripped open a case of whiskey. “You want to know why I’m acting shitty? That’s rich coming from you.”

  Lauren put her hands on her hips and looked up. “Wow,” she said, leveling Berit with a stone cold stare. “If this is how it’s going to be, I guess last night was a mistake.” Lauren turned to leave, but looked back to Berit one more time. “For the record, I thought you were more mature than this.”

  “Yeah? Well, for the record, I didn’t want it to be like this. Not with you.”

  Confusion pinched Lauren’s features. “What?”

  “I thought I made myself clear.” Berit wiped her face roughly in frustration. “I didn’t want a fling with you,” she said with her hands outstretched. “You know, Jennifer called me after your first date and asked me what was going on between us because you wouldn’t stop talking about me.”

  Lauren looked shocked.

  “I told her nothing, and that you were sticking to common ground conversation topics because that’s just who you are, but when I hung up, all I could think about was how I wished it was true. I wanted it to be true. I wanted to be on your mind as much as you were on mine.” Berit looked away from Lauren as tears started to blur her vision. “And then you stood in front of me last night and said how your first impression of me was wrong. I thought you finally saw me for me.” Berit wiped at her wet cheeks and took a long, shaky breath. “It really sucks being wrong.”

  “Berit, I…”

  “Let’s just get back to work. We’ve wasted enough time.” Berit made her way back toward her office, leaving Lauren alone in the receiving room.

  * * *

  A million thoughts buzzed around Lauren’s head as she went about her shift, but she wouldn’t allow herself to focus on any of them. She couldn’t risk a stray tear as she served someone a fun cocktail, and service without a smile didn’t get many tips. She tried several times to grab a minute with Berit so she could ask one of the hundred questions she had, but Berit had managed to expertly dodge her all night. Lauren even went as far as waiting in Berit’s office while she took her break in hopes of Berit strolling in, but she struck out.

  The Dollhouse was nearing last call when Lauren felt herself start to crack. Berit had followed Bellamy into the stockroom, and Lauren felt overwhelmed with unjust jealousy. She was torn between storming back there and declaring Berit hers, and escaping out the front door with a bottle of tequila to shut her mind off for the night. She opted for the mature option and went back to work.

  After Berit didn’t return from the stockroom for nearly thirty minutes, Lauren turned to the one person she hoped could help her. “Hey, Lou,” she said shyly while joining Lou behind the bar. She moved around some glasses as Lou counted the register. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Sure. What’s up?” Lou zipped up the deposit bag for the night.

  “I did something I’m not proud of, and I don’t know how to make it better.”

  Lou stared at her, clearly waiting for actual details.

  “I upset Berit, and I don’t want to tell you everything since you’re her sister.”

  “You should also take into account that I’m more inclined to beat you up for hurting my sister.”

  Lauren grimaced. “I did think about that, but I believe you’re less likely to because I know I’m an idiot and I want to make things better. I did a lot of assuming, and it got me into trouble. Please help me.” Lauren pressed her hands together and smiled the largest grin she could conjure up.

  “Fine.”

  Lauren started to cheer loudly.

  “Okay, keep it down.” Lou checked their surroundings. “The worst part of all of this is that I want to know so much more, but I won’t ask for fear of being scarred.”

  “Let’s say I treated her a little like a one-night stand and keep it at that.”

  Lou cringed and said, “You’re a dick.”

  “I know.”

  “She really likes you.”

  “I’m starting to realize this.” Lauren felt even more ashamed now.

  Lou watched her intently for a minute. “Berit’s a good person and deserves someone as good, if not better. Is that you, Lauren?”

  Lauren thought long and hard, the contemplation her way of showing Lou how serious she was about making things better with Berit. “I want to be,” she said honestly.

  Lou nodded before heading to the large fridge and returning with a six-pack of craft ale. She set the beer on the bar. “Berit has a place she likes to go when she’s upset. Ever since we were kids, if someone pissed her off she’d run away and hide until she calmed down. Are you familiar with Lewis Park?” Lauren nodded. “There’s a stone wall overlooking the lake near the north entrance.”

  “Should I check her apartment first?”

  “How upset is she?”

  Lauren thought of Berit’s tears, and her stomach twisted. She couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She lowered her head and said, “Very.”

  “She’s there, trust me. Bring these.” She pushed the bottles to Lauren but kept her hand on them. “Are you sure about this?”

  Lauren thought about every wayward moment from recent weeks, and not one negative thought could overshadow the good she’d felt seep into her life the night before. She needed Berit to be okay, to forgive her, and to recapture the feeling that surged between them less than twenty-four hours before.

  “Without a doubt.”

  Lou nodded and released the beer. “Good luck.”

  Lauren took a deep breath. She knew she was going to need all the luck she could get.

  * * *

  The drive from the Dollhouse to the lake took fifteen minutes. Finding the north entrance took another ten for directionally impaired Lauren. She was relieved to see Berit’s Jeep parked in the lot. Lauren got out of her car and started to walk slowly with the six-pack in hand. It was after two in the morning. She was tired, but she’d never be able to rest with this discontent between her and Berit. Lauren followed the worn path and let out a sigh when she saw Berit sitting on the stone wall. The lights illuminated her sandy hair. She approached loudly, not wanting to scare Berit.

  “You’re too beautiful to look so sad,” she said into the quiet night. Berit barely shifted, but Lauren gave her some time before stepping closer. “You know, that line actually got me when you said it, but I made sure you couldn’t tell.”

  “Did Lou tell you I’d be here?” Berit kept her back to Lauren.

  “Yes.”

  “Traitor.”

  “She also told me to bring you these.” Lauren held out the six-pack. The condensation had turned the cardboard damp.

  Berit turned just enough to eye the offering.

  “Maybe we could share a drink and talk?” Lauren said, setting the beer on the stone wall and leaning against it. She didn’t feel steady enough to sit above the water like Berit did.

  Berit grabbed a beer, twisted off the cap, and took a long pull from the bottle. “This is one of my favorite beers.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s made in a small, local brewery, and they put a lot of attention into the details. The flavor is layered and magnificent. Try it.”

  Lauren pulled a bottle from the case and removed the cap. She was slow to taste it, wary of beer in general. The first sip was a surprise. She tasted citrus and a sweetness that saved her tongue from the bitterness she had associated with beer for so many years. “This ain’t bad. I normally hate beer.”

  Berit didn’t respond. She just turned back to look at the lake.

  “I’m really sorry, Berit.”

  “We had different expectations. It happens all the time.”

  “I hurt
you, and you’re the last person I’d ever want to do that to.” Lauren reached out but pulled her hand back before she could touch Berit. “Our expectations weren’t all that different. We wanted the same thing.”

  Berit looked back at Lauren incredulously. “Clearly we didn’t.”

  “We did.” Lauren moved the beer over in order to slide closer to Berit, and her jeans caught on the rough surface of the wall. She faced the trees while Berit stared out onto the water. She turned to look at Berit’s profile. The moon and the streetlights highlighted Berit’s strong jaw. Lauren could still feel it flexing in her hands. “You were everything I shouldn’t, couldn’t want when I first met you. You were sexy and gorgeous, and you were capable of charming me right out of my skirt.” Lauren watched a small smile pull at Berit’s lips. “But when I told you no, I told myself no, too.”

  Berit looked at Lauren. “Why?”

  “Because I didn’t think my heart could handle you. I convinced myself you weren’t looking for the same thing as me, and I turned off any attraction I felt for you. I was terrified of liking you too much.”

  “Why be scared?”

  “When I was younger, a woman like you would never go for me. My heart was broken so many times because I’d fall for the unattainable. I’m nothing more than a boring business suit—a beige one at that. Thinking about having someone as amazing as you interested in me is scary because it’ll hurt so much more when I ruin the relationship.” Lauren felt ridiculous for admitting so much. “Someone who can have anyone never settles for someone like me.” A tear ran down Lauren’s cheek. Berit turned to face her fully and held her hand. “I felt so much for you last night, and I panicked.”

  Berit abandoned her beer and took Lauren’s hand. She played with her fingers and felt each knuckle. She turned it over to trace every line she could see on Lauren’s palm. The delicate touch felt inexplicably intimate. Berit brought Lauren’s hand to her lips and kissed it.

  “I had a girlfriend during my junior year of high school,” Berit said after a long stretch of silence. “Our families were very close, and we just sort of fell into one another. We were each other’s first everything, but our parents caught us eventually.”

  Lauren gasped and covered her mouth with her free hand. “Oh no,” she said between parted fingers.

  “It actually wasn’t that bad. Very embarrassing, yes, but our parents were pretty cool about it. No one turned homophobic or treated us differently, except for sleepovers, of course.” Berit nudged Lauren’s shoulder. “I felt like a million dollars because I was madly in love with my first girlfriend and could be open about it.”

  Lauren listened with rapt attention, anxious for more information about a young Berit Matthews. “So what happened?”

  “Remember when I told you how I had a hard time opening the Dollhouse?”

  “Yeah,” Lauren said dismissively, wanting to get back to the good stuff.

  “My first girlfriend was Ashleigh McCarthy, Michael McCarthy’s daughter.”

  “Mayor McCarthy?”

  Berit nodded. “While our families were close, my dad would constantly try to get Mike to invest in a hundred different startup companies. One right after another would fail, and Mike wasn’t an idiot. He saw the way my dad kept my family barely above poverty level because of these investments.

  “Then one day, my dad put on a whole presentation about his latest investment, and Mike fell for it. In my dad’s defense, which is something you’ll rarely hear me say, the company was a surgical robot manufacturer.”

  “That sounds like a brilliant investment, especially at that time,” Lauren said.

  “It would’ve been, if it wasn’t a total scam. Within days, all of my dad’s contacts at the company disappeared, along with thousands of dollars. Mike’s money and my college fund included.” Berit picked up her beer and took another healthy swig. “Her dad’s still holding a grudge and is determined to make my life with the Dollhouse a living hell.”

  “Wow. Did Mike forbid you from seeing Ashleigh after that?”

  “He tried, but we were too old to control. We broke up because she was going away to the college we both dreamed of attending, and I was stuck here. Thanks to Ashleigh, I knew what it was like to be crazy about someone, so I never bothered to pursue something serious unless I felt that. I’ve only experienced it a few times since.”

  Lauren ran her fingertip along the stone wall as she tried to decide whether her next question was appropriate. “Do you still…”

  “Still what?” Berit searched Lauren’s face. “Still love Ashleigh? No, that was a lifetime ago. She’s married to a Marine now and has four kids. The moral of the story is I know what it feels like to have a connection and chemistry with someone, and I’m not going to pursue someone if I don’t feel it.”

  Lauren moved her body so she sat flush against Berit’s side. She placed her hand on Berit’s thigh and drew shapes with her fingertips. “You feel a connection and chemistry with me?”

  Berit looked from Lauren’s lips to her eyes. “The real question is, do you feel it, too?”

  Instead of answering, Lauren leaned in and kissed Berit sweetly. Passion simmered quietly as adoration fueled the slow kiss. Lauren let her heart lead her actions as the crickets sang around them.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lauren fell back and into a fit of giggles. “You’re not crushing me,” she said. She adjusted her legs to accommodate Berit more comfortably between her thighs. Berit had been lying lazily atop her for some time now, making no move to get off. Lauren loved Berit’s weight and her long limbs wrapped around her. She felt secure and wanted, two things that hadn’t come easily to Lauren recently. Berit’s skin was warm and smooth beneath her palms. “You didn’t strike me as a cuddler.”

  Berit fanned her hot breath across the side of Lauren’s neck. “I think we’ve already established that most of your assumptions about me were wrong.” She continued to make small movements with her pelvis, even though they were both oversensitive. The uncontrollable nature of the movement was intimate.

  Lauren smiled. “Most, but not all. I knew you’d be phenomenal in bed.”

  Berit raised her head. “Phenomenal?”

  “Outstanding,” Lauren said, kissing Berit deeply before releasing her with a loud pop. “But you already know it.”

  Berit kissed Lauren softly before rolling off to the side and propping her head in her hand, elbow planted firmly on the mattress. “Just because I’ve never heard any complaints doesn’t mean I’d assume I was good in bed. Everyone is different.”

  Lauren saw so much in Berit’s lazy smile: happiness, satisfaction, and not a care that the sun was about to rise. “A girlfriend once told me I needed to slow down because I always made her feel rushed.” Lauren remembered the incident like it was yesterday. It had taken her years to shake the thought every time she was in bed with someone.

  With her index finger, Berit traced a line from Lauren’s lips straight down to the center of her chest. She wiggled her finger playfully between Lauren’s breasts. “As your girlfriend, I’d tell you no such thing. Your pacing is perfect and allows me to come again and again without waiting.” Berit pressed her front against the length of Lauren’s body.

  Lauren felt herself warm all over at the contact. Berit’s body was a marvel, but she couldn’t focus fully on skin and muscle. Was this Berit’s way of declaring their relationship more significant than casual or simply dating? “Are you sure?” Lauren whispered before she could stop herself.

  “About your pacing? I’m sure.” Berit ran her lips over Lauren’s collarbone. Lauren tried to gather her scrambling thoughts, but her desire was winning.

  Lauren ran her hands over the short hairs on the back of Berit’s head before tangling her fingers in the mess of loose curls at the top. She tugged lightly. Lauren was out of breath by the time Berit’s eyes met hers. This type of passion was new to her.

  “You’d say that if you were my girlfriend?” Laur
en said, her heart racing and her vision hazy, “or are you saying it as my girlfriend?”

  Berit froze, sparking panic within Lauren. Tense, motionless seconds passed before Berit so much as blinked. She kissed Lauren’s inner wrist and said, “I didn’t realize people still had these conversations.”

  “Probably because it’s been a while since you’ve made it to this point with a woman.” Lauren held Berit’s stare, meeting her challenge head-on.

  “That’s fair. Rude, but fair.” Berit’s small smile told Lauren she wasn’t truly offended. “By girlfriend, you mean exclusive?”

  Lauren nodded.

  “I’d be the only one allowed to touch you, to see you like this?”

  Lauren sucked in a breath as Berit traced the underside of her breast with her soft lips, and she scratched her short nails across Berit’s back in response. “And only you’d have me this way?”

  Lauren’s framed Berit’s face with her hands and pulled her up so their eyes met. “Relationships aren’t easy for me, and I’m terrified, but I can’t do this any other way. For me, this is all or nothing.”

  Berit’s grin was blinding. “Lauren Daly, I wouldn’t want to share you with anyone else.”

  “And you’re okay with monogamy?”

  Berit’s smile fell away, and she lay back against her pillow. A cold distance grew between their bodies.

  “I’m sorry. My track record with relationships isn’t good, and with Rebecca…” Lauren felt tears sting her eyes.

  “What happened between you two?”

  Lauren shook her head at the deceptively complex question. “We were on and off again more times than I can count. She’d either cheat on me or find someone better and prettier to spend her time with. But when things didn’t work with those women, she’d come running to me.”

  “And you’d take her back?” Berit said, grabbing Lauren’s hand and lacing their fingers together.