Inescapable

by Saskia Walker

  Her stomach clenched and her chest ached horribly. She hadn’t even had a chance to thank them for what they’d done, for everything. She put her hand to her mouth, telling herself over and over again not to cry, but the tears came anyway.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “If you’d asked me, a month ago,” Adrian commented, “what I thought living in a brand new show home might be like, I’d have assumed it would be luxurious.” He stared at the rumpled sleeping bag on the sofa with a sense of wistfulness. “I feel like I can’t touch anything. It’s all so…beige.”

  Seth chuckled, glancing at the walls and the sparse but expensive furnishings. “Yes, so it is.”

  “I’ll never want to see anything beige ever again.”

  “Agreed. “ Seth nodded.

  The pair of them were sprawled on the floor of the lounge area in the show home, which was located somewhere on a half built housing estate in Surrey. “You’re doing well. Two more days and we’re out of here.”

  “And I miss your Dad’s bar,” Adrian added.

  “I know.” Seth gave a rueful smile. “So do I.” Then he shook his head. “That bar will hold legendary status, forevermore.” They exchanged brief glances, reliving the moment.

  “Good. Grandest bar I’ve ever been in. Nice drop of brandy, too.” Adrian reached over to the chessboard that sat on the floor between them, replacing the pieces from the game they had shared earlier, and then glanced across at his friend and protector. “And that’s not all I miss.”

  Seth’s smile faded and he shot a warning glance. “Don’t even go there.”

  Adrian shrugged. “I know you’re thinking about her.”

  Seth scowled. “And you aren’t?”

  “Of course I am, but not in the same way you are.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’ve fallen for her. I have too, but I was prepared for that to happen because of what we had shared online. Whereas, you didn’t think you would get involved.” He’d given a great deal of thought to how to broach this subject with Seth, and decided that head on was going to be the only way. “You thought it would be quick and easy, a bit of fun, no harm done. And now you can’t forget her.”

  Seth across stared at him, dumbstruck. After a moment, he ran his hand along the stubble on his jaw. “No, I haven’t fallen for her. Not possible.” He paused, as if thinking it through, then continued—as Adrian had expected he would when he decided to raise the subject—giving excuses for the fact he was sitting there with a faraway look in his eyes. “I miss the female company, I can’t deny that, and Lily was one hell of a special woman, but it was crazy, I mean…I don’t usually get involved like that. It was a one-off. Cabin fever, or Stockholm syndrome like you said…or some damn thing. We’re warned about it, in our training.”

  Adrian restrained his smile. He’d never seen Seth so confounded by his own state of mind. “My dad always used to say that where there are many excuses, there is no single good excuse.”

  “What is he, Confucius?”

  “He’s a practising psychologist.” Adrian withheld his smile. “You care about her, face it.”

  The frown on Seth’s forehead deepened. “I care about her, yes, and god knows she was good to be around, but I can’t afford to get close to a woman the way I did with Lily, not in my line of work. I can’t be there for a woman, not the way a man should be.” His eyes looked haunted. “It was a mistake to get so heavily involved.”

  Adrian didn’t comment. They both knew it wasn’t a mistake.

  “What about you,” Seth asked, clearly trying to shift the attention away from himself. “You’re more her type, you have a stable life and you two had a relationship on the go before we all met. Adrian…you understand her much better than I do.”

  “True.” Adrian smiled, allowing himself that. “But I’m not sure how deeply she feels for me. She cares, but I know for sure she fell in love with you.” Adrian couldn’t help smiling when Seth stared at him, confused.

  “Love?”

  “Yes, love. It was obvious to me after the first two days, but when that bloke Lavonne had her.” He shook his head, remembering the intensity of the moment. “The affection you have for her was pretty darn obvious. Face it Seth, you want her, and she wants you.”

  Seth’s eyes flickered. He shook his head. “But you—”

  “But me what? I care about her too, a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love the woman.”

  “Go after her then,” Seth said.

  “It wouldn’t be the same without you, I’m not stupid. The three of us had an amazing experience. There was a symbiosis that I’ve never found, or seen, and I’d be happy to settle down with a woman like Lily.” He paused, ready for the hard part, the part that had kept him awake these past nights. “But if it’s you she wants then I’m not going to stop that from happening…neither am I going to let you walk away from her. I know you’re about to do just that.”

  Seth rested his head back against the armchair he was sitting in front of. “I have to walk away. I gave up all rights to a relationship when I went in to this job. It’s too hard to maintain a normal relationship.” He rubbed his hand over his face and head, scrubbing his hair, before he continued. “I’m away for days and weeks as time. I don’t want a woman like Lily worrying about me. It’s bad enough that my mother has sleepless nights.”

  Adrian toyed with the knight in his hand. “Perhaps fate brought us three together.”

  Seth considered that silently.

  Adrian knew he was breaking through. He had two more days, and he would continue to steadily drip feed the idea during that time. He needed Seth to be ready when the moment came. Personally, he’d jump at the chance to be with Lily some more. He’d been part of something special, and he knew it. He wanted to see what happened next. Seth was more stubborn. If it was Seth that Lily really wanted, then he wasn’t going to let Seth mess that up. “When we get out of this and the court case is behind us, you have to go see her, we both do.”

  “I can’t.”

  Adrian could see it there in his friend’s eyes, the denial, and the desperately unhappy look. He’d been right. Seth was fighting it, but only because of who and what he was.

  “You can, and I’m going to make sure you do.” When Seth looked at him, querying, Adrian laughed softly. “It’s only fair. I’ve spent the last two weeks doing as you say, it’s about time you listened to me and took my advice.”

  “And what if it’s you that she wants to be with, after all this?” Seth said, a faraway, thoughtful expression in his eyes.

  Adrian smiled to himself but didn’t respond directly, simply shrugging. It was all he needed to know, because that comment had proved that Seth did want her and that deep down he had his own fears, whether he admitted them or not.

  They both did.

  Fate would decide how this panned out.

  Fate, and Lily.

  * * * *

  Lily sighed and put down the newspaper she’d been reading during her coffee break. For days she’d been scouring the papers for information about court hearings, even though she didn’t quite know what she was looking for. She’d heard the name Carlisle, and drug running had been mentioned, but neither of them had said any more about the court case than that. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know more, especially after her second run in with Emery Lavonne.

  What she did need to know was how they both were, because she cared so much it hurt. I’m in love with them. Admitting that to herself only seemed to make it worse, like she had a claim, which reinforced the nagging need to know if they were okay and happy. She couldn’t get them out of her mind, and often found herself replaying the outrageous things she’d found herself doing, things she had only ever fantasised about before she was thrown together with Adrian and Seth. Every night she slept in the sweatshirt she’d been wearing when the police arrived, the one that both men had worn. Stroking it over her body, she imagined it was them, imagined that they were clo
se against her and she could hold them and love them. Did they think about her at all?

  “Are you okay?” It was Andrea, and she’d stuck her head into the storeroom where Lily was perched on a stool, deep in thought. The area at the back of the shop counter was where they took their coffee breaks and kept the stock, and several times since her return Lily had lost track of time in there when her thoughts and emotions had consumed her.

  Lily looked wistfully at her friend, who’d been told most—but not all—of the story. “Sorry, I drifted. Are we getting busy?” She nodded out into the shop counter area while she folded the newspaper and shoved it into a drawer.

  “We will be soon.”

  Lily nodded, giving her friend a smile to reassure her. She put her apron back on and pulled her Sandwich Boutique baseball cap to a jaunty angle, and then headed out, taking over from Andrea at the orders end of the counter. They had a part-time worker on the till for when they were at the busiest, and the rush was already on for lunchtime take outs. Lily took a deep breath and got stuck in.

  The work made it easier, because the time went more quickly as she wrote down each order and put it together. As usual she tried to chat briefly with each customer before she passed them down the line. Occasionally her mind would drift and she had to force herself to concentrate on getting the orders right. Towards the end of the lunch rush she messed up and toasted a wrap that was ordered straight up. Luckily it was a regular customer who didn’t complain too loudly. “I’m so sorry. Your lunch is on the house today.”

  Picking up her pen, she scribbled on the pad and got ready for the next customer. “What can I get for you today?” she asked when the next customer arrived in front of her.

  After a pause, the customer spoke. “Can I get a really basic cheese and pickle sandwich, the boring type?”

  She knew that voice—that delicious accent—knew it in a way that stirred her senses and made her heart leap. Seth. Faltering, she dropped her pen and her fingers splayed as she steadied herself on the countertop.

  “And can we get that with a side order of something a bit more exotic? Whatever you suggest, Lily.”

  She knew that voice too. Adrian.

  Staring at them in disbelief, she put her hand to her chest as she looked from one to the other and back again. Then Adrian smiled her way, and she noticed that he’d had a haircut. For court, she realised. They’d been to court already. It was over.

  Relief flooded through her.

  He’d lost weight too, but he looked happy. Seth, on the other hand, looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. His hair had grown and his eyes were dark with concern as he looked at her.

  “You came to see me.” Staring at them both, she wanted to grab them in case they vanished again. “Is it all done, the case?” She directed the question to Adrian.

  He nodded, blinking slowly, like a relaxed tomcat. There was a definite change in him, one for the better. That brought about such a rush of emotion that her eyes misted. Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh dear,” she said, on the verge of tears.

  “Perhaps you’d better take this particular order into the backroom.” It was Andrea, and while she spoke she eyed the two men with curiosity. She’d obviously gathered these two were Lily’s mystery men.

  When the words sank in Lily nodded, thanking her friend and waving the two of them along the counter and behind it, leading the way into the storeroom. There, in that small space, the two men stared at her, expectantly.

  It was Adrian who spoke first. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, my lovely Laidbacklady.” He cupped her face in both hands and kissed her on the mouth.

  Lily melted into him and rested a hand on his chest, her other hand instinctively reaching for Seth who still hovered by the door. There was tension in him and she silently begged him to touch her.

  When she felt his fingers grasp hers and he moved closer, she turned her face towards him. “So good to see you both.”

  “We couldn’t keep away,” Seth said, and he gave her that devastating smile of his, the one that she’d missed so badly, even though it had infuriated her so many times.

  Adrian’s hand was on her back, stroking her, and when she hugged Seth, he held her ever so tightly for a moment and then released her, as if he wasn’t sure she wanted to be held. She sensed awkwardness in him and wanted to make it disappear, wanting him to look as relaxed with this reunion as Adrian did.

  She wiped her eyes quickly, hoping they hadn’t noticed. “Thank you for coming. I’ve been so worried, and I’ve missed you both so much.”

  “Hey, nothing to thank us for.” Seth meshed his fingers with hers, and when he did she held his hand tightly against her, afraid he was about to say goodbye and leave.

  Adrian grinned, and then gave a quick sidelong glance at Seth, who nodded back at him. Seth cleared his throat. “We were talking, while we were waiting for the case to be heard, and we were kind of wondering,” he frowned, “that is, if you aren’t seeing anyone else at the moment?”

  She shook her head emphatically.

  His frown lifted somewhat. “Would you like to go out with one of us, for a proper date?”

  Lily stared from one to the other of them, unsure what this meant. “With one of you? Is this like…an ultimatum?”

  Adrian put his hand on Seth’s shoulder and squeezed it, taking over. Seth looked relieved. “What Seth is trying to say is that we both want to see you again, but we know that you might not want to do that, not now you’re back in your normal life. Things were special back there in Wales, and we both know that. It’s up to you though, Lily. If you only want to see one of us, we’ve agreed that the other one will take it on the chin and bow out quietly.”

  Her breath felt trapped in her lungs, her chest tight and her heart beating wildly. “What if I want to see both of you again?”

  It was a risk. Perhaps they wanted her to choose one or the other, but she couldn’t do that.

  Adrian’s smile grew.

  Seth’s eyes were filled with hope, but his eyebrows were still drawn together. “Thing is, I want to see you again, real bad. But I can’t be there all the time for you like Adrian can, not in my line of work. You’d have to say you’d accept that, up front.”

  She could see how hard this was for him, and as she considered her response she drew his hand to her lips, kissing it gently. “I understand that.”

  They closed in, both of them, enfolding her. She shut her eyes, savouring that feeling of being surrounded by them, of being loved by them both, wanting them both.

  “You’re sure?” Seth whispered against her ear, as he kissed her cheek.

  The arrogant policeman who needed to be reassured.

  Adrian squeezed her bottom, making her smile.

  The sensitive accountant, who didn’t need to ask.

  Deep in her heart, she’d always known that this was truly inescapable. She nodded at them both, her emotions soaring. “I’m sure, very sure.”

  About the Author

  I’m British by birth, but because of my parent’s nomadic tendencies I grew up travelling the globe—an only child with a serious book habit. I dreamt of being a writer since the age of 12 and finally began writing seriously in the late 1990s. By that time I’d got myself a BA in Art History, a Masters in Literature and the Visual Arts, and I’d worked in all manner of diverse careers—but the stories in my head simply had to be written.

  My first erotic short story was published by Virgin publishing’s Black Lace imprint in ‘97 and things really took off from there. Every spare moment was spent on the stories that bubbled away in my imagination. I’ve now had work published in over forty anthologies, including Best Women’s Erotica, The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica and the Black Lace Wicked Words series. It was such a thrill for me to find that readers enjoyed my stories. I started working on longer projects around 2003, and since then I’ve had work published by US publishers Harlequin Spice, Red Sage, Penguin Heat, and the Juno Books fant
asy line. I’m very happy to be part of the team at Total-e-Bound.

  Nowadays I live in the north of England—close to the beautiful, windswept landscape of the Yorkshire moors—with my real life hero, Mark. Mark supports my work through all its ups and downs, and somehow manages to keep me sane and grounded when fiction threatens to take over.

  Email: saskiawalker@gmail.com

  Saskia loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.total-e-bound.com.

  Also by Saskia Walker

  Play for Today

  Along for the Ride

  Winner Takes All

  Brits in Time: Brazen Behaviour

  Running Wild

  One Enchanted Night

  The Right Men for the Job

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