The What If Guy

by Moss, Brooke

  Helen smiled and waved. Traitor.

  “Dammit, Henry, put me down,” I bellowed, as he carried me out the door to the sidewalk and plopped me down in front of his truck. He rested his hands on my hips, so I couldn’t escape.

  “You’re going to scare people,” Henry said in a low, rumbling voice. “Half the town is out staring at us right now.”

  I scoffed bitterly. “Story of my life.”

  “Why are you acting like a freak?”

  My mouth dropped open. “I’m a freak? You’re the freak. You just dragged me out of the pharmacy. Literally.”

  “Well, what did you expect?” He squinted at me in the sunlight. “You were ignoring me. Singing ’Mandy,’ for Pete’s sake.”

  “I happen to like that song.” I crossed my arms and glared into Henry’s slate-colored eyes. They would not be my kryptonite today. “Where’s the little lady? Is she back at your house, hanging curtains?”

  “I’m not married.” He dragged his hand down his face in frustration, and I backed away from him.

  “It didn’t work out?”

  “This is news to you? I went to San Francisco to get a divorce.”

  “No,” my voice rose. “You went to San Francisco to make things work with Laurel.”

  Henry pointed his finger at me. “That’s what you thought. That’s not what happened.”

  I backed up further. “You didn’t go to California to get back together with Laurel?”

  “Of course I didn’t,” Henry said. “I went to California because, despite how much of a bitch she was when she came here, Laurel made one point very clear.”

  “What point was that?”

  “That I couldn’t run away anymore. I needed to come back and settle things. Laurel and I had community property that we needed to sort through. We had an apartment to sell, and mutual friends to explain my perspective to. I owed her family an explanation as well.”

  I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it again.

  “We sold our apartment, most of our furniture, and our joint assets.” He looked at me so intensely, my knees started shaking. “I spent a lot of time in mediation with lawyers, hammering out details, and spent even more time with Laurel’s family and our friends, saying good-bye.”

  “Good-bye?” A tiny bit of hope rose from the pit of resentment bubbling in my gut.

  “This is my home,” Henry said, “whether we’re together or not.”

  “So your divorce is final?” I tried to ignore Helen and Doris’ faces in the window, and Ramona Fisk’s in the store window across the street. “And she didn’t take you for a ride?”

  “It was a fight,” Henry said, his tone serious. “But no, I don’t owe her spousal support. And, I got my dog back.” A beagle with irresistibly droopy eyes hoisted his head out of the open driver’s-side window, then yawned.

  “That’s Sal.” He gestured toward the dog.

  I stifled a grin. Sal was, by far, the ugliest, saddest-looking dog I’d ever seen. “Where will you and Sal stay?”

  The magnetic pull between us tugged back to life.

  “I’m not sure.” His gaze still held mine.

  Be strong, Autumn. After all, he’d spent the last few weeks finalizing his divorce, and hadn’t called. Not once.

  “You didn’t call,” I said. “I was here this whole time, and you didn’t even call.”

  The line between his eyebrows deepened. “Need I remind you that you sent me away?” When I didn’t respond, he took a step closer. “And I did call.”

  “No, you didn’t,” I bit back.

  “Yes, I did, a couple of times in the beginning. But not from my phone. And your voicemail box was full after your dad died.”

  “You could have called Holly.” I bit the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from crying.

  “I tried once, but one of the boys answered the phone.” He frowned at me. “He sang his ABCs and then hung up.”

  “And you couldn’t call back? Or call the pharmacy?”

  “I didn’t know what to say.” His broad shoulders drooped. “I wanted to tell you that I loved you, but I knew that wasn’t enough. You deserved more. You deserved to be told that I was free and clear to love you, and that we could be together without anything hanging over our heads. And since you didn’t call, I—”

  “I called you. Your phone was disconnected.”

  “You called me? When?”

  I groaned and pressed my hand to my forehead. “Right around the time I lost my damn mind, Henry.”

  “What happened?”

  “In a matter of forty-eight hours, I buried my father, saw my mother for the first time in a few decades, and lost the love of my life. I was a little depressed.”

  Henry’s frown morphed into an expression of pure sadness. “I know. I’m so sorry. Words cannot express how sorry I am for the timing of all of this. But Laurel was threatening to go after my career next, and I—”

  I jutted my chin. “You never told me that.”

  He splayed his arms at his sides. “I felt like hell, Autumn. The last thing you needed to deal with, on top of everything else, was to worry about my career. You didn’t deserve to feel like the other woman. I couldn’t stand the fact that Laurel made you feel that way. That I’d made you feel that way.”

  Hot tears defied my will, and filled my eyes. “Why did you disconnect your cell phone?”

  “Laurel did it to spite me,” he said grimly. “Before she even left the Spokane airport, she called and convinced the kid at customer service that her husband’s phone had been stolen.”

  “Why didn’t you get a new one?”

  Henry combed his hand through his hair, making it stand in all directions. “Because I bank with Fairfield Trust. I lost my wallet in the airport, and I had to wait three weeks for them to send me a new debit card.”

  I scowled at him. “That only accounts for three weeks, Henry. If you missed me so much, why didn’t you call after you got a new phone?”

  Henry glanced at our growing audience self-consciously, and took another step closer. “After I thought things through, I figured that I needed to finalize my divorce and settle everything with Laurel so I could come back home and completely commit to you. I hated that you and Elliott were here without me, but even more than that, I hated the fact that you felt so terrible about us. There was no way I could convince you that I loved only you, not until Laurel was out of the picture for good.”

  “I…” I struggled to find the words. “I was so unhappy. It was awful.”

  He’d stepped close enough to touch me. His hand enveloped mine warmly, sending sparks of recognition up my arm. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I thought I was doing the right thing.” The overload of emotion made my voice quaver. “I thought she deserved you more. I didn’t know my heart could hurt so bad. I wanted to curl into a ball and die. And what was worse, I hurt Elliott, too. He was incredibly mad at me. You were the closest thing to a father he’d ever had, and I’d let you go without a fight.”

  Henry’s eyes filled. “I know. I missed him so much.”

  My heart pitched. “I thought you’d moved on. And I wanted to be happy for you. I really did. But I was completely heartbroken. Watching Elliott struggle was crippling.” Tears backed up in my throat like a sink clog. “He’s the one who made me see what I was doing to myself. Elliott brought me back to life.”

  Henry took my other hand and moved his body closer to mine. I swear, heat radiated off his skin. “He’s a smart kid. And so much more mature than you give him credit for. He loves you.”

  Henry cupped my cheeks and forced me to look him in the eye. “Being apart from you was never what was best for me. It was awful. Do you understand me? Awful. I sat in a hotel room every night, alone, worrying about how you and Elliott were coping. I was physically sick.

  “I thought my heart was broken the first time you left me. I thought I would never experience pain like that again, but I was wrong. Because when you sent me p
acking the second time, you sent me away from two people I love. Do you understand that?”

  I bowed my head and wept. “All I’ve ever done is hurt you.”

  “No.” He lifted my chin and closed the space between us. I could feel his heart racing through his T-shirt. “You’ve shown me what happiness feels like. You taught me how to love, and you’ve shown me that I can be in love with my best friend. You’ve got me imagining things like sitting on a porch, looking out at the fields while our grandkids run around in the yard. You made me believe in the fairy tale.”

  He stroked my lower lip with his thumb, making it tingle, then he embraced me tightly. “Don’t send me away again. I swear, I won’t go. I’ll camp on your front porch until you hear me out. But you won’t have to worry about that.” He pulled away enough to smile at me, tears streaking his chiseled face. “Because I will never hurt you. Do you hear me? I will never walk out on you.”

  I couldn’t stand it anymore. I pressed my lips against his with urgency. This was it. He was back. My Henry was here with me. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

  “I’ll never love anyone the way I love you,” he said against my lips, then dived back in for more. I arched my back and pressed against him, his able hands supporting me. “It’s only you, it’s only ever been you, and it will only ever be you.” His lips moved against mine as he struggled to get his words out.

  Henry loved me so wholly that he’d allowed me to push him away—not once, but twice—and he still wanted me. He accepted me despite my flaws, in spite of my imperfect figure and unruly hair. He’d held me while I was curled up on the floor after my father had died. And he’d ached for my son as much as he’d ached for me while we were apart.

  Henry Tobler was a real man. A man who didn’t give up and walk away. A man that my father could look down on from heaven and know that Elliott and I were safe, happy, and above all, loved.

  “I love you.” My lips tasted salty from our tears. “I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you. I promise.”

  He buried his face in my hair, kissing my neck. “I know, my love.”

  “Henry?” Elliott cried from the top of the hill. I looked up and saw him speeding toward us on his bike. “Henry!”

  “El.” Henry released me just as Elliott let his bike crash to the ground. Elliott ran to his side.

  Henry embraced Elliott, ruffling his hair. “How are you, son? I’ve missed you so much.”

  “Me, too,” Elliott said.

  Henry grinned at me, that lovely, lopsided grin that made the already hot August afternoon boil like the planet Mercury. “You’ve gotten taller,” he said to El.

  Elliott looked up, his darkly-lashed eyes bouncing between my face and Henry’s. “You’re back? Is he back? You’re really back? What’s going on?”

  “There are some things I need to speak to you about.” Henry put his hands on Elliott’s shoulders and bent down to his level, his mouth drawn into a serious line. “I left you and your mother to take care of some things in California. It wasn’t fair of me to leave without saying goodbye to you, and for that, I am sorry. I know you thought that I’d left you forever, and for that, I’m sorry, too. I never meant to hurt or scare you.”

  Elliott’s eyes were huge. “Okay.”

  Henry held out his hand for El to shake. “I promise you that I’m never leaving again.”

  Elliott’s gaze flicked to mine. “Is he really staying?”

  I nodded happily.

  Elliott slipped his small hand into Henry’s much bigger one and they shook slowly. “Well, then.” A small smile tickled the corners of El’s mouth. “Welcome back.”

  Sal hung his saggy face out the truck window and barked loudly. “I almost forgot,” Henry told him. “I didn’t come alone.”

  “Holy crap,” Elliott squeaked. “You got a dog?”

  The dog would seal the deal for Elliott. His eyes danced behind the lenses of his glasses. He stood on his toes to pet Sal, and the dog immediately licked his cheek. Elliot giggled.

  Henry smiled. “Will you help me take care of him?”

  “Sure,” Elliott said. “Is he a beagle or a hound dog?”

  Henry turned and examined Sal. “He’s a beagle in need of Botox, I reckon.”

  “You better get a house with a fence,” Elliott said.

  “That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.” Henry glanced at me nervously, then walked with Elliott to the open window of the truck.

  I watched them curiously, wiping the last of my tears off my face, and heard the bell above the pharmacy door ring as Doris and Helen popped their heads out.

  Ramona and Ray Fisk busied themselves washing the outside windows of the grocery store.

  “I’d planned on talking to Billy about this, but since he’s gone, you’re the man for the job.”

  Doris and Helen stood outside of the pharmacy, blatantly watching us with silly grins on their faces. Henry reached through the open truck window and pulled out a small, black, velvet box, making all three of us—Doris, Helen, and I—gasp in shock.

  I raised my trembling hand to my mouth. “Henry?”

  “Elliott.” Henry’s voice shook. “I love you very much. And I love your mother very much. It would be an honor and a privilege to be your dad, and it would make me the happiest man in the world to be married to your mom. May I have your permission to ask for your mother’s hand in marriage?”

  I held my breath, begging Elliott to say yes.

  Ramona’s voice echoed between the buildings. “Ray, turn around. He’s got a ring.”

  Henry laughed and swiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “What do you say, Elliott?”

  This can’t be real. My mind was spinning. Life didn’t happen this way. I never got the happily ever after. I was just a down-on-my-luck single mom who’d run into her “what if” guy and hit him in the face with an encyclopedia in October—and a pack of erasers today.

  “You got it, Mr. T,” Elliott said.

  They hugged. Doris and Helen sniffled.

  I raised my face to the sun and closed my damp eyes. Thanks, Dad. Thank you so much.

  There were footsteps and whispers, and then the whiney groan of a droopy dog.

  “Will you please look at me?” Henry asked.

  I lowered my chin slowly and raised my eyelids, squinting slightly in the bright, August sun. Henry, the love of my life, the man I’d been head-over-heels for since the age of twenty, knelt before me, an open ring box in his hand. The stone, a tear-drop-shaped opal secured in a silver antique setting, glittered in the sunlight.

  “Autumn Cole, will you marry me?”

  I looked into his eyes, those pools of pewter I’d never tire of, then glanced at the people around us—the Fisks, Doris, Helen, and Elliott, as well as a few passersby that had stopped to watch the drama unfold. There were smiles on every face—the faces of the people who loved me, who’d loved me for thirty-three years, and who would love me until my last day. These were the grinning faces of my family.

  I brought my eyes back to Henry’s, put my hands on the sides of his face, and bent to kiss his mouth so softly, so tenderly that I felt his breath quicken under my lips.

  “Yes.”

  Epilogue

  I married Autumn on October sixteenth, exactly one year to the day after she literally stumbled back into my life and clocked me in the face with an encyclopedia.

  Three months later, I formally adopted Elliott, and he became my son. Though, in my heart, he was my son long before that.

  Six months after that, we welcomed our daughter on the evening of Flag Day. Feeling that my late father-in-law had had a hand in her arrival, we named her Billie Tobler, and placed one of his old paintings in her bassinet next to her fuzzy red curls.

  Elliott is the perfect big brother to his baby sister, as well as his brother, Leo, who came eighteen months later. He was my right hand man with those babies, always available to bounce one of them on his sh
oulder or play his cello to lull them to sleep. He also went on to play with the Spokane Junior Symphony for six years, until he left for Chicago to attend the Columbia College for music. He graduated with honors two weeks ago.

  Autumn’s career took off. Her murals are featured in homes and businesses all across the state, and in Oregon, Idaho, and Montana. I often find her on the porch, painting while the kids play at her feet, her face speckled with paint, her hair blowing with the breeze.

  And she still works with Doris and Helen at the pharmacy once a week.

  We remodeled Billy’s old house, top to bottom, and still live at the top of the hill. We still walk down that hill to go to Fisk’s for overpriced canned goods, to the Halloween and Christmas festivals, and to take Billie and Leo to the park. Fairfield is our home, and we love it here. Fortunately for us, Fairfield loves us right back.

  As for me?

  I still work at the school, teaching history to uninterested sixth-, seventh-, and eighth-graders. I spend my days talking over the sound of text messaging, whispering, and note-passing, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

  Why? Because every night, I come home to the most beautiful woman in the world, tangle my hands in her wild, red hair, and kiss her so long and so hard that my knees go weak. And yes, even after all these years together, my knees go weak.

  How could they not? My Autumn is breathtaking, to say the least. Her light blue eyes, her creamy porcelain skin, her curves—every detail about Autumn thrills me. Sure, there are a few more wrinkles nowadays. For both of us. But every line on her skin and every soft edge on her body tells a story about our journey together.

  I promised her that there would never be another, and I meant it. Autumn is the love of my life, and time hasn’t changed that one bit. I am a blissfully happy husband and father, and I thank God every day for my fortune. Autumn and Elliott stumbling into my life was the best thing that ever happened to me, bar none. My life as a husband and father has been more fulfilling than any other adventure I could ever have.

  In fact, I’m coming full circle as a father. In the morning, I’m meeting Elliott in Spokane to pick out an engagement ring… because he is proposing to Tabitha Judd on Flag Day morning.