Baking With A Rockstar (A Brooksville Novel Book 1)

by Jasmin Miller

  His lips are very loving, soft and sweet against mine, and my heart responds immediately. My heartbeat increases, and it distracts me so much that it pulls me out of the moment, my thoughts going back to my conversations with Monica and Hannah.

  “Everything okay?” His eyebrows furrow as he looks at me with concerned eyes.

  “Hudson, we need...I think we need to talk.”

  He nods. “Good. Because I wanted to talk to you too.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Why on earth did I agree to have our talk in the bedroom? I’ve clearly lost my mind because that just screams bad idea from miles away. Looking everywhere in the spacious bedroom except at Hudson, I continuously wipe my hands on my pants. My stomach is tied up in knots, cramping, and making me feel nauseous.

  Please, don’t let me get sick. That’s definitely the absolute last thing I need right now.

  Hudson pats the spot next to him on the couch. “Come over here and sit down with me, please. You’re starting to make me all nervous.”

  After taking a deep breath, I walk over to him, my thoughts still going in one big dizzying loop.

  Do I really want to have this talk with him? Maybe we can just keep going like we have been. It seems to have worked pretty well so far.

  And what on earth does he want to talk to me about?

  Maybe he wants to end things, while I’m contemplating taking the next step.

  “Charlie.” Hudson’s voice is low, and I realize I stopped walking toward him. Instead, I’ve been pacing back and forth in the middle of the room, probably making him think I’ve really lost my marbles.

  Getting up from the couch, he walks over to me, his steps slow and cautious. The look on his face reminds me of a person approaching a scared or injured animal, something that looks ready to run at any moment.

  Well, that does sound kind of appropriate, I suppose.

  “What has you so upset?” He’s a few feet away from me, apparently planning on giving me some space, and eyeing me warily while scratching his chin. “Did something happen? Are you not feeling well?”

  Closing my eyes for a moment, I take a deep breath. Right then and there, I decide to do something that is completely out of character for me, but it just feels right. I might possibly regret it in about two seconds, but I’m not going to beat around the bush.

  Full-on honesty, no holding back.

  “Mo asked me if I’m in love with you.”

  Well, how’s that for directness?

  A quiet “Oh” is all I hear from him before there’s only silence again—just absolute, soul-piercing, heart-wrenching silence.

  In fact, it’s so quiet, I’m sure I could hear a feather fall to the ground. I look down at the floor, absentmindedly tracing an imaginary pattern on the rug with my foot. I can’t look at him, my brain contemplating if it might be best to just leave and sleep in my room for the night.

  My breath hitches when his feet appear in my line of vision, stopping right in front of my own—toes to toes.

  His fingers move under my chin, gently pushing it up until my eyes meet his beautiful brown ones. “Hey.” He brushes a few strands of hair out of my face and gently caresses my cheek. “Why does that have you so tied up in knots?”

  Grabbing my hand, he leads me over to the couch, not leaving any room between us when we sit down. “Please look at me.” His voice is soft yet commanding, making me peer up at him. “I think you know by now that I’m pretty straightforward and honest, right? I just don’t see the point in holding back.”

  I nod because he’s right, that’s all he’s ever been since we met.

  He runs his hand through his hair before looking at the ceiling for a moment, blowing out a big breath. “Man, this is harder than I thought it was going to be.”

  Well, that’s certainly not helping with my nerves.

  He’s totally going to say this was fun, but he’s not looking for anything more, isn’t he? I should have walked away earlier when I still had the chance.

  “I’m falling in love with you, Charlie.”

  Wait. What?

  My lips are moving but no sound is coming out.

  All the while, Hudson is staring at me, probably waiting for a reply, or at least some sort of reaction.

  “You what?” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s several octaves higher, and my throat feels like it hasn’t felt any liquid in ages.

  Taking my hands in his, he gives me one of his breathtaking smiles I can’t ever get enough of. “I’ve been falling for you for quite a while now. It’s been getting more and more intense every day, and I just need you to know. You deserve to know how I feel about you.”

  The butterflies in my belly act like they’re on steroids. I’m about to smile back at him, when I see a sudden dull in his gaze—right before his smile drops a little too.

  “Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” My insides start cramping up, not wanting to hear anything negative after the beautiful words he just said. My stomach is churning, making me wonder if I could actually make it to the bathroom in time if I had to.

  Clearing his throat, his eyes fixate on mine. “You’ve been on my mind from the very first moment I laid eyes on you—and not just because of the whole music thing. You’re different than any woman I’ve ever met, and once I got to know you better, I was completely under your spell. And you didn’t even notice it nor did you seem to care much about it either. Being with you has been incredibly refreshing, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoy every single minute we spend together.” The look in his eyes is warm and soft, but my body doesn’t want to relax yet.

  I’m still unsure if his admission makes the situation better or worse right now, knowing there’s still something bad coming—at least that’s what it seems like.

  There’s a sudden sparkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “And then there’s Mira, making this whole relationship with you and what we have even more special.”

  I’m starting to lose the battle with my emotions, his words hitting me straight in the heart. I can’t take it any longer, my throat starting to clog up, my voice already sounding scratchy. “Hudson, please. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  He clears his throat again. “You guys mean so much to me, which is why I don’t want to hurt you, especially after knowing what you’ve already had to go through before.”

  Tears form in the corners of my eyes, and I try my hardest to hold them back. I’m still utterly confused, and my patience is starting to dwindle too—the tension and anxiety in my body is threatening to take over. “Say it already. I need to know.”

  Shaking his head, he scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not doing a good job right now, am I? I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you about all of this for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you off. And now I’m making a complete mess of things.”

  I can’t help but exhale the breath of frustration that’s been lodged in my throat.

  Dropping my hands unexpectedly, he gets up and starts pacing in front of me. “Crap, I’m really bad at this. All right. Let me start over again.” He stops and goes down on his knees in front of me. “Charlie, I’m utterly in love with you, and I want nothing more than to be with you and Mira, for us to be a family. The time with you two has been some of the best of my life, and I can’t remember the last time I was this content and just...happy. But, I don’t know what my future holds right now, and I’m not sure you want to deal with my crazy life, not knowing what’s going to happen with my career either.”

  “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “I want to give you everything you deserve. A partner by your side to help you fulfill your dreams, and someone who can help raise Mira. You should wake up next to someone every morning and go to sleep next to that same person every night, not spend endless nights alone in bed. I don’t want you to go through that. I can’t do that to you. You deserve more than that.”

  With that confession,
I lose my emotional battle. A few tears flow down my cheeks as I try to keep my sniffles at a minimum.

  “No, no. Please don’t cry, sweetheart.” He captures my face in his hands, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “That’s the last thing I wanted.”

  Once I think I can manage to speak again, I hardly recognize my voice, the words barely making it past the big lump in my throat. “Does it not matter at all what I want?”

  Pausing mid-wipe, he looks at me with his brows furrowed. “Of course it does. You’re what matters the most. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, and you might think I’m crazy, but you’re it for me. I don’t think I can ever find what I have with you with anyone else. We’ve been spending almost every free minute together from the moment we met, and I’ve never formed a bond like this with another person. What I want more than anything else though, is to see you happy because that’s what you deserve.”

  My hands are shaking, and I press my lips together so hard to keep them from trembling they must be as white as a sheet. Closing my eyes, I try and get a grip on my emotions. “You are what’s best for me, Hudson. You.”

  He starts blinking feverishly. “You want me, all of my crazy life included? Even if I can’t be with you all the time?”

  “Are you kidding me? Of course. This is your career, your dream. It’s all a part of you, and I know we’re going to figure it all out—together. Of course I won’t like being away from you, but it’s better than the alternative. Every day with you is so much better than any day spent alone or with someone else.”

  This is it.

  Taking a deep breath, I try to listen to my inner voice that keeps telling me I can say the next few words. “Because I’m utterly and totally in love with you too.”

  Without a word, Hudson lunges for me and scoops me up, carrying me over to the bed. Ever so gently, he lays me down and stares at me like he can’t believe I’m really there. “This is the best thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  He lowers himself on top of me until his head is against my chest. He stays there for a few moments, listening to my erratic heartbeat, this special moment forever imprinted in my memory.

  Wiggling my hands out from between our bodies, I brush over his face and hair until he crawls further up. His eyes are full of emotions and close briefly as I trace over his eyebrows, down his nose, and finally across his lips. They are soft and automatically open as I touch them with my fingers. It’s not a big movement, but it has my heartbeat accelerating like crazy.

  When his eyes open lazily, he studies me in this quiet and serene moment. “I can’t tell you how incredibly happy you make me.”

  I smile at him—a big, wide, beaming smile—hoping it silently tells him all the crazy feelings my heart is trying to express. “I think I have a pretty good idea because you make me just as happy.”

  Brushing his nose against mine, he whispers his first, “I love you,” before capturing my lips in a deep kiss, showing me for the rest of the evening just how much I mean to him.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  “You’re so incredibly beautiful.” Hudson’s raspy voice tickles my neck from behind as I stretch like a cat.

  Opening my eyes slowly—a huge grin on my face—I look back to see him propped up on one side, giving me the absolute best smile I could ever ask for. Waking up next to this gorgeous man never gets old, bringing a flurry of emotions with it every single morning. The last few days since our “love talk,” as I like to call it, have been absolutely blissful—perfect, really.

  I can’t remember ever feeling this happy before.

  “Good morning.” I blink at him, my eyes still needing a moment to fully wake up. My body is quite the opposite, already tingling in all the right places as his hands start wandering down my body and under the blankets. Shaking my head, I chuckle. “You’re insatiable.”

  “When it comes to you, absolutely. There’s nothing better than having you under me, on top of me, or any other way I can have you—morning, noon, and night.” He winks at me, probably feeling really smug.

  Can’t argue with that, though.

  Being with Hudson feels like nothing I’ve ever felt. I’m close to the point of admitting I didn’t even know what it meant to be intimate with someone before him—but it’s silly and a little embarrassing to say that out loud, so I keep that little realization to myself. He’s made such a big impression on me and my life—allowing me to enjoy the simplest things, just because everything is so much more fun with him by my side.

  Raising my eyebrows at him, I start to push myself up on all fours and slowly crawl over until I’m hovering above him. “Oh yeah, is that so?”

  That’s another thing that has changed dramatically. I’ve started to be more confident and take things more into my own hands, so to speak. He spurs me on even more with the way he looks at me, especially when he does that little growl, right before he can’t take it anymore and pulls me close to him.

  Having his eyes darken with lust—just like right now—is a confidence booster like nothing else. I throw my leg over him, straddling him lazily while his hands roam up my legs and stop at my butt.

  A moment later, he pulls me down onto him, groaning into my neck. “You’re so damn sexy, you’re driving me absolutely insane.”

  I lean in for a kiss, and our lips starting to move together in perfect sync when Mirabelle’s babbling comes across the monitor. I close my eyes, as both Hudson and I groan in frustration.

  He kisses me one more time before rolling us over so he’s above me. “I love that girl, but sometimes her timing sucks. Good thing I got my fair share of you last night, or I’d be really bummed right now.” Looking at the baby monitor, he reaches past me to the nightstand to turn it off. “Why don’t you go and get ready while I grab Miss Mira and make us something to eat?”

  “Would you really?” I give him a big smile, feeling like I could explode with happiness. “You’re the best, thank you.”

  “It’s nothing. Let’s get ready, and then we can have a relaxed breakfast together.”

  I nod. “Sounds great.”

  “See you in a few.” One more kiss and he hops off the bed, my eyes following his every move as he leisurely walks over to the door in just his shorts. Before he slips out, he turns around one more time. “Hurry up, sweetheart, there’s something I wanted to show you.”

  Begrudgingly, I get up a moment later, walking over to the en suite bathroom we’ve been sharing. It’s a huge bathroom, almost as big as my tiny—and ridiculously expensive—apartment in New York used to be. It’s easily big enough for both of us and then some, and I smile as I make my way over to the tiled walk-in shower to turn on the water.

  When the temperature is good, I take off my pajamas and step under the warm water sprays. Several showerheads surround me, making this feel more like a spa experience than just a normal shower. My thoughts go to Hudson almost automatically, since he’s quickly become one of my favorite things to think about—no matter if he’s around or not. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how things have changed between us.

  My mind can’t help itself, jumping back to Sebastian and how different things were with him. I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much was truly missing in our relationship until I met Hudson. It’s so easy to dismiss relationships in general—especially after practically seeing every single one of my family members ever had fall apart—but now, I finally see things in a different light.

  Now, I know all it takes is finding the right person.

  A person that makes you—the real you, not someone you pretend to be—smile and happy at heart, even on bad days.

  This euphoric feeling of being in love with someone that’s right for you feels like magic. It’s cloaking me in some sort of bewitched haze that makes me smile like a moron almost nonstop.

  It also feels like my heart might explode at any moment, and I welcome both sensations with open arms.

  Once I’m dressed, I go downstair
s, coming up short when I enter the kitchen and see that Hudson and Mirabelle have a little party going on. Hudson is singing along to the music while Mirabelle is hopping in her little bouncer—in sync with the music, giggling almost uncontrollably every time Hudson leans down to directly sing to her.

  My hand immediately goes to my chest because talk about the cutest sight ever.

  Leaning against the doorframe, I enjoy the show as long as possible before they see me.

  Boy, I’ve got it bad.

  Oh yes, I do. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Right?

  The song ends, and when Hudson turns around to continue whatever he started making on the kitchen counter, he looks up at me. He smirks, knowing full well I was enjoying their little performance.

  Show-off.

  Mirabelle finally spots me too, shrieking and throwing her hands up in the air. She jumps as fast as she can, making the toys on the bouncer rattle and shake.

  I walk over to her, crouching down on the floor to be on the same level. “Hi, cutie pie, did you have a good night?” I lean in to shower her with kisses until her little giggles are all I hear. We give each other the same happy smiles before I grab her under her arms to lift her out of the seat.

  Walking to Hudson with Mira on one hip, I bump his with my other. “Hey, rockstar, nice performance you did there.”

  He chuckles, stirring some eggs in one pan before flipping a pancake in another. “Don’t even try to pretend you didn’t like it.”

  I shake my head and snort, snatching a piece of banana from the cutting board and sharing with Mira. “Never. It was awe-inspiring.”

  He leans over to give me a soft kiss on my lips before kissing Mira on the cheek too. “Good, good. That’s what I like to hear, pleasing the crowds.” He nods to all the food everywhere. “Breakfast will be done in a minute. Why don’t you put Mira in her chair? I’ll bring everything over.”