The Faithful Heart
Page 6
“Have you seen him yet?” Mary asked, her tone fraught with worry.
“No, why?” Morgana countered.
“No reason, really. But I would counsel you to show some forbearance, for your anger will sometimes get the better of you,” Mary advised.
Morgana smiled tightly. “Two years in the convent has taught me the value of patience.”
“All the same, tread carefully.Fergus is a MacGee. He has some friends within his own family and amongst the MacMahons.”
“I will not harbour thieves and traitors in Lisleavan, as you well know,” Morgana said with the toss of her head.
The older woman nodded. "Just be careful of him. The damage he has done already is nothing compared to what he might try to do now that you are back and poking your nose into what he deems to be his affairs."
"I could say the same for you. If you do as I ask, you'll be putting yourself at risk as well," Morgana warned her friend.
"Aye, but risk brings reward, as you know. You used to be the greatest trader in the region."
Morgana squared her shoulders at that reminder. "I will be again."
Mary started to gather her things. "I’ll head up to the castle now and get started. Fergus certainly won't be in the estate office now," she said with a smirk.
"Er, no." Morgana blushed at the recollection of her cousin's dissolute habits.
She stepped out into the crisp evening air, and had not gone three steps when she heard Ruairc bellow, “There you are! Where have you been!”
She turned to face him, and knew full well from the anger which glinted in his eyes that he had seen both of her seemingly romantic exchanges with her two childhood companions.
“I’ve been going around surveying the pitiful remains of my domain, and you've been following me around, spying on me.”
Ruairc sought to deny her accusation, but she spat, “Please spare me the protestations of innocence. I saw you following me and recognised the color of your doublet under your cloak.”
“Morgana, please don’t be angry .I am merely concerned for your welfare. Has it not occurred to you that the person responsible for the poisoning of your father might make an attempt upon your life now that you are back?” Ruairc asserted.
“Yes, it has occurred to me, Ruairc, which is why I'm wearing a dagger under my cloak." She had brought it with her to the convent when she had become a novice, and hastily found it and donned it before she had left with Ruairc. "But I have no reason to trust you either, when for all I know you could be in league with your brothers to ruin my family."
"If I had killed your brother for my own gain, I certainly wouldn't have squandered everything," he observed quietly with a sweep of his hand. “Look at this place! Do you really think this is my doing?”
She shook her head angrily. "It's like a wilderness compared to only two years ago. Which is why I must fight this. Do what I can to relieve the suffering of the poor.Which is why I can't cower in fear inside the castle walls. Nor sit around doing embroidery and experimenting with new ways to coif my hair, as Aofa has done for the past two years, while all this has been taking place.”
“Nay, I know you only too well, my love. I just want you to have a care for your own safety, a stor , that's all,” Ruairc said softly.
Morgana observed impatiently, “There is far more danger inside the castle at the moment than out there.”
Ruairc didn't deny it. After a time he asked, “What do you wish to do now? “
She began to walk back to the castle, taking such long strides he had to hurry to keep up. “I will go see Father first to consult with him. Then I am going to the kitchen to see what stores are there that we can give to the folk. Tomorrow we will see about getting more food and supplies.
"If Father recovers, I will have got the place back on its feet. If not, then we shall have to look towards the future. I shall have to decide which of my cousins will take the succession from me.
"So, I shall consult with my father now. If you wish to help, meet me in the kitchens in half an hour’s time.”
Morgana swept in through the castle portal, leaving Ruairc standing alone in the darkness. He stumbled over the door lintel and wondered how Morgana could move with such ease. She always did have eyes like a cat, he thought angrily, as he tripped again, and heard her footfalls outpacing him, leaving him far behind.
“Wait for me, Morgana!” he called into the dark hall.
“I did once, Ruairc, but I can’t do it anymore,” she said, suddenly close to his ear. “I have a new life now, one which you are not part of. If this situation is as dangerous as you say, then I tell you now, this is not your fight. Go to your brothers, or back to Dublin.Save yourself if you can, for you will not be spared if it becomes a fight to the death.”
Ruairc grasped Morgana’s arm as she began to step away. She felt his other hand slide behind her coif to the bare skin on the back of her neck.
“Look at me, and tell me to leave, Morgana,” Ruairc demanded.
“Ruairc, I want you to leave,” she whispered, though a small catch in her voice betrayed her emotion.
“You see, you can’t hide it from me. In spite of everything, you still care, or else you would not be so concerned for my safety.”
Ruairc suddenly smiled, and pulled her close, so that her head rested against his broad chest.
For a moment, Morgana allowed herself the luxury of being enfolded in his warm embrace.
Then she stepped back, and said, “My father, we must look in on him. And tomorrow, will you sit with him and take care of him while I run some errands?”
She headed up the winding stairs to the second floor without even waiting for an answer.
“Morgana, it's not safe to ride out into the countryside,” Ruairc warned, once again having to trot behind her to keep up.
“I will keep your warning in mind,” she said quietly, as she entered her father’s room.
Morgana was relieved to see there was a bit more colour in Morgan’s cheeks, and he ate again from the small parcel of provisions Ruairc had brought.
“That cordial is marvellous, Ruairc,” he said with a grateful smile as he sipped more of Aunt Agatha’s special concoction.
“I’m glad you're feeling better,” Ruairc said softly, with a fond glance at the older man.
“I am indeed, and would have you send to your aunt for more of her wonderful potion. While you are about that, I wish to speak to Morgana alone.”
Ruairc bowed to them both, and with a pat on the old man's shoulder, and a stroke of Morgana's head, he left.
He waited until the door was shut, and said quietly, “I can guess where you've been, Daughter. You've been around the castle and down to the village.Knowing you as well as I do, I know you would not rest tonight until you had seen all there was to see. No doubt you have already begun on the work which must be done.You have seen the damage my neglect has caused.
"Nay, more than neglect, foolish grief, with no care or thought for the future. But I had lost the two things I treasured above all.I am close enough to death to tell you the truth now, so that you can learn the extent of my foolish pride, and you will know once and for all beyond the shadow of a doubt that Ruairc is blameless.”
“What truth?”’ Morgana whispered.
“Ruairc was not to blame for your brother’s death, for he was away on an errand for me, making preparations for your wedding, and legally dividing the lands between yourself and Conor, so that you would both be my joint heirs.”
Morgana was dumbstruck.“But Father, splitting the land? Between a man and a woman? It is unheard of.”
“Your brother was a great warrior, but weak in the ways of managing the estates. Conor could never have held it all together in peace and harmony.
"I knew if he were ever in trouble, you would come to save him, you and Ruairc, my loyal foster son and your husband, and Conor's best allies he could have ever hoped for. That is also why your share was to have been two-thirds of the estate, instead o
f a mere half.”
Morgana stared at her father, all her doubts and mixed emotions swirling within. She licked her lips and managed to find her voice.“But surely if this were true, it would have been all the more reason for Ruairc to kill Conor, to take it all for himself, not merely two-thirds.”
“And I tell you, Ruairc was not to blame. Yes, I know the dagger which killed your brother looked like Ruairc’s, but three days before your brother’s death, when we were out hunting, he broke the jewel off the handle, a large ruby. I ought to know, I gave it to him, as my father had given the dagger to me.It never left his side. No one could have stolen it, so a copy must have been made.That copy killed your brother, for there was still a jewel on the hilt.”
“Father, why did you not tell me so before!” Morgana gasped.
“I was so stunned when I saw the dagger, I didn’t bother to look closely. It was only much later, that I remembered the hunting incident, and by then it was too late.
“You were gone, Ruairc had left for parts unknown, and in any case, I thought at that point that you didn’t love each other enough to put the whole incident behind you.
"To tell you the truth, by that point I really didn’t care. It is a terrible thing to tell you, but I begrudged you life and happiness while I had lost my only son. But,” Morgan said, holding up a shaking claw, “I was wrong, not for the first time, and your mother was right, as she always was. She insisted you be named after me, and I will tell you now, Daughter, never once, ever, have I been disappointed in you."
"Oh, Father, you don't have to say—"
He silenced her with one finger on her lips. "I do have to. Before it's too late. I know I have never been honest with you about my feelings, for you should have been a boy. But not a day has gone by that my heart hasn’t nearly burst with pride at seeing you grow more beautiful, more strong, more womanly, and more wise. Never had I met a woman like you, though your mother came close. I'm so proud of you, I cannot say. I thank God for sparing me long enough to right some of the wrongs I have committed over the past eighteen years, and I hope you can forgive me.”
“Oh Father, there is nothing to forgive. Sean said to me that nothing is gained without struggle and sacrifice,” Morgana sighed, tears in her eyes.
He nodded. “You struggled to make this clan what it is now, not your brother, and I have let it all slip away. But it can be great again, with you at the head of the family once more,” her father insisted, before reclining back upon the pillows, more at ease than she had seen him since she had arrived.
“But my vows, my duty to the convent,” Morgana protested. “Surely Finn or Patrick can take my place.”
“No one can take your place, Morgana, that you know. The clan loves you. They will do anything for you. They will even die for you if need be.”
“No, Father, I have left the battles and raids behind,” Morgana denied. "I am supposed to be a nun, and bring peace to the land."
Morgan grasped his daughter’s wrist fiercely and tracecd the sinews in her arm with the forefinger of his other hand. “Look at you. Battle is what you are made for. You are a warrior, however much you pretend otherwise!”
“No, Father!” Morgana argued. "Not any more."
"And a worker." He traced the callouses on her palm. "These are not the hands of a simpering aristocratic beauty. You are made for toil, made to rule, to be a leader of men. For you lead from the front, by example. Many might envy you, but most wish to emulate you. Strength, intelligence, power, you have them all, and they can yield you so much more, if only you will embrace your fate."
She shook her head. "You tell me this after two years in exile, and a lifetime of neglect? Forgive me if I don't trust a word you say."
The old man smiled grimly. “I understand. Damn my stubborn pride for not having told you all this sooner. For not having sent for you before things became so dire.
"You do not wish to hear the truth now, Daughter.But time is running out for all of us. You know what to you have to do. I pray God you're not too late.”
Morgana's stout heart began to fail at the enormity of what was being asked of her. “Father, please, my duty is supposed to be to the convent. If you are feeling better, I will stay a few more days to organise things, and then go back for my vows. You shall continue to rule as always, and--”
“Nay, you are deceiving yourself. I have not the heart, nor the skill, as well you know. And what of Ruairc! He loves you! Are you going to abandoned him to a barren wasteland for the rest of his life because of your stiff-necked pride? He is innocent. He loves you!The reasons for you going to the convent in the first place no longer apply. They never did! Ruairc is innocent. Marry him, for God’s sake, and be happy!”
She shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Father, and you know it! I’m not sure I could love him any longer, and in any case he is a MacMahon.He could still be the enemy!A copied dagger could all be part of the plan to kill Conor.”
“In that case he would have made sure he married you first, before Conor’s murder! He was miles away at the time, with several of the servants as proof of his whereabouts. And with you when he came back, for most of the time until the hue and cry was raised that Conor had been killed.
"No, the blame lies with someone else. Trust Ruairc with your life. He loves you. He would never have harmed Conor or myself for personal gain.”
I’m sorry, Father, but everyone has a price!”
“Even you?” the old man demanded angrily.
“What are you saying?” Morgana bristled.
“If what you say is true, Daughter, it could be you who killed him, or poisoned me!”
Don’t be silly! I love you, I would never! “ Morgana spluttered in outrage.
“You see,” the old man crowed in triumph. “Now you know what Ruairc has been feeling all this time, falsely accused by you and me and the entire clan.”
Morgana subsided into silence, her chest heaving with anger.
They sat mute for a few moments, until Morgan turned his eyes to his daughter, and asked quietly, “What will you do now?”
Morgana outlined the plans she had already made, and the old man nodded.
“Good girl. I knew you would put your mind to the problem quickly.”
“Tell no one, Father,” she whispered, “not even Ruairc.”
Her father reluctantly nodded and then sighed. “If you have people meeting you, then you had better go downstairs. Here are the keys for all you need, and let no one escape investigation.”
“They won’t. You have lived in too much privilege in this castle, while our people have starved, or gone elsewhere to earn a living. People make a land strong, or else the land is worthless,” Morgana sighed regretfully.
“You are right, daughter, but it is not too late to change things. Now, go into your room, and at the bottom of your chest, you will find all you need to get started, Morgana. And I know no matter what you decide, it will be for the good of all, and I shall be proud of you, if not in this life, then in the next,” Morgan vowed.
CHAPTER SIX
Eventually Morgan’s mind was eased after he and his daughter had discussed the most pressing estate business, and the old man settled himself down under the covers in the bed, and began to doze.
When she felt it was safe to leave him, Morgana went outside and asked one of the guards who had been posted outside by Ruairc to sit with her ailing father.
Then she went down the corridor to her room.
Ignoring the old gown on the bed, she dug into her trunk as her father had commanded. Morgana found several leather pouches full of gold coins, and her old hose, some shirts, and a doublet.
Lastly, at the very bottom of the trunk she found the greatest treasure of all, her fine sword with the Toledo blade which she had been given by her brother many years before.
For a moment Morgana hesitated, but then decided it would do no harm to wear it, so long as she had no intention of using it. Stripping off her habit, sh
e re-dressed in no time, but the one quandary was her long auburn hair, which hung down to her knees.
Searching a small coffer, she came across some black velvet ribbons, and managed to coil the hair into a tight knot at the nape of her neck. Then she donned some soft calfskin boots, and a long sleeveless overgown. After concealing the money again and locking the trunk, she clattered down the back stairs to the kitchens, where she found the men waiting for her as she had requested.
Mary had already begun to take an inventory of all the food in the meat pantry. After a quick query concerning the number of mouths that needed to be fed, Morgana started to divide up the grain and vegetable stores.
Morgana was just hauling out a large basket of vegetables concealed in one corner, when she heard a shriek behind her. Her sister came running into the pantry.