New Additions
Page 12
“Yum.”
Cassie carried the bottle of Baileys into the office, and they each brewed their selection of coffee, adding a shot of the liqueur. As they left the office, Kathleen slid her hand into Cassie’s. “Is this okay?” she asked.
“Always. If anyone has a problem, they can leave. This is my home.”
“I really like how you face life.”
“I’ve spent a lot of years getting to this point, and I refuse to move backward. Some people might say that I live in a fantasy world because I surround myself with accepting people and avoid those who disagree with me, but why does our life have to have conflict? I want to live peacefully and happily each day.”
“Can we pause this conversation?” Kathleen said as they approached the four guests sitting at the picnic table.
Cassie tightened her grip on Kathleen’s hand and smiled at her.
Cassie had seen the boys as soon as they had stepped outside, and she was fairly confident they wouldn’t say anything specific in front of John and Sara, but just in case she pulled Kathleen closer and it gave her comfort.
“Did you guys have a nice swim this afternoon?” Pete asked with a devilish grin.
Cassie saw Rory kick him under the table, shutting him up so she gave Rory an appreciative glance.
“It felt very cold after being in the sun, but it was refreshing.” Cassie gave Kathleen a smile before looking back at Pete and Rory. “How was your ride?”
“Long and sweaty! The lake felt perfect to us,” Rory said, laughing.
“Are you guys settled in?” Cassie asked, including John and Sara in the conversation.
“We’re unpacked and stocked with groceries. Thanks to Sara. She did all the planning before we got here. We had lunch at the diner and still had time to hit the bakery and meat market before they closed.”
“Most of my information came from the packet you mailed us,” Sara added.
“I’m glad. That’s why we send it.”
“What of the newbies?” Pete nodded toward Cabin Three.
“I think they headed to the diner and then to grab some groceries.”
“Did I see a little one?” Pete asked.
Rory kicked him again, and this time he didn’t try to hide it. “Stop being nosy.”
“Yes, a little girl,” Cassie answered.
“It’s a bummer there are no other kids for her to play with.”
“I think the animals will interest her more based on how she attacked Zoey and Pandy when they arrived,” Kathleen said, nodding at the dogs, who had found a shady spot nearby.
“They’re very relaxed dogs,” Sara said. “We have two at home and they’d be running around here crazy if we had brought them.”
“Zoey and Pandy grew up here with people coming and going so they take it in stride,” Cassie explained.
“Can I pet them?” Sara asked, getting up from the picnic table.
“Of course.” Cassie turned and called them to her.
Both dogs came running and Cassie reached down to slow their approach. Pandy went straight to Kathleen’s side, and Sara stooped down to pet her. Pandy immediately slid onto her side to expose her belly. Cassie shook her head and stroked Zoey’s ears, encouraging her to wait her turn. Sara spoke softly to Pandy while she rubbed her belly. After a few minutes, Sara moved over to Zoey, who also went belly up as soon as the petting started. Pandy sat up and leaned against Kathleen’s leg.
“I think they would lay forever if someone was petting them.” Cassie looked at Kathleen. “I guess we better finish our walk.”
Kathleen moved beside her as they stepped away from the group. Everyone said good night as the two started around the lake followed by both dogs.
“So back to this fantasy world that you live in.” Kathleen smiled at her.
“Some people like conflict and it makes them feel alive. When necessary I will stand up for what I believe, but if given the option I prefer to not have the conflict. I spent too many years doing what was expected and hiding my own opinions. For the first time in my life, I have a say in who and what I surround myself with.”
“Unfortunately when you live in the city you don’t always get to pick the people around you.”
“The majority of my days are spent here. If I don’t like a guest’s attitude, I can ask them to leave or tough it out for the week, but you can bet if they try to book again we won’t have any availability.”
“I wish my job was like that.”
“The ladies I met at Fosters seemed nice.”
“Oh, my office is fine. I’m talking about the close-minded people we have to deal with.”
“Are you out at work?”
“Only with Joyce. I told her during my interview before she hired me. I didn’t want it hanging over my head or for it to be something someone could use against me. She was cool about it and said she didn’t see where it made a difference.”
“I got a family vibe from Tiffany.”
“Yes, I have as well, but I’ve never had a conversation with her. Nor do I plan to. I don’t feel that it’s important to how we do our jobs, and it wouldn’t feel very professional.”
Cassie squeezed Kathleen’s hand, knowing her next question would tempt Kathleen to withdraw and she wasn’t going to let her. “Do you have any siblings?”
“No.”
“I have a sister. She visits occasionally. She likes to use the time to get away from her husband and kids.”
“And your parents?”
“My dad was military and we moved around a lot. After he retired, they continued to move around. I think Jenny, that’s my sister, said they were in Italy or maybe Ireland right now.”
“You’re not very close to them?”
Cassie could feel Kathleen starting to relax again so she continued to talk. “When I came out to them, they chose to not be part of my life. They’ve tried to make up for their initial withdrawal and now they visit about once a year. I try to be agreeable when their schedule brings them here, but honestly, their rejection did more damage than an occasional visit will repair.”
“And your sister? How did she take your coming out?”
“Like my parents at first, but she quickly came around. She even stayed with me during Nett’s final days. It wasn’t easy for either of us but I was glad to have her there.”
Cassie wasn’t sure if the conversation was over or not so she walked along silently, listening to the croaking of the frogs around the edge of the lake. After a few minutes, Kathleen squeezed her hand and Cassie glanced at her. She wanted to ask questions and get to know Kathleen more but she wouldn’t push any issue. Kathleen would talk when she was ready.
“My mom left when I was five. I don’t remember much about her. Dad tried to tough it out alone, but he only lasted another two years. According to my case file, Mom returned to her career and didn’t leave a forwarding address. Dad became a truck driver and it was easier to place me in foster care than to try to find someone to care for me while he was gone. Sometimes I think it all would be easier to take if they were addicted to drugs or alcohol, but they weren’t. They each chose to abandon me.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Cassie wanted to say more, but she knew Kathleen didn’t need her sympathy or to be consoled. The edge in Kathleen’s voice showed she would always be bothered by her parents’ abandonment, but it no longer defined her.
“Did you ever try to find them?”
“No.”
Kathleen’s abrupt answer kept Cassie silent. She certainly understood why Kathleen wouldn’t try to find them, but she was a little surprised. Curiosity usually got the best of most people.
“I survived the time in my life where I needed them. Why would I cause myself more pain? They could find me if they wanted to and I accepted a long time ago that they didn’t want to.”
There were no words that could fix what Kathleen went through and though Cassie’s heart ached, she remained silent. Her grip on Kathleen’s hand m
ay have tightened because Kathleen released it, flexing her fingers before sliding her arm through Cassie’s. Meeting her eyes, Cassie tried to express her understanding. Though their backgrounds were different, Cassie still knew what it was like to feel a parent’s rejection. Kathleen’s smile reminded her that Kathleen didn’t need her sympathy and she returned it.
Cassie hadn’t wanted to interrupt their conversation so they had continued around the lake. As they passed Cabin Three for the second time, the white SUV returned and Cassie gave them a wave. Ana jumped out of the car and came running to pet the dogs. Cassie and Kathleen stopped walking to let her catch up to them.
“Hi, Ana,” Cassie greeted the small girl now sitting at her feet. “I’m Cassie and this is Kathleen.”
She smiled up at both of them.
“Do you have a dog at home?” Kathleen asked her.
“No. I’ve asked for one and Mom says maybe in another year or so. I have to be old enough to take care of it.” She enthusiastically petted both dogs at the same time. “What are their names?”
“That’s Zoey and that’s Pandy.” Cassie pointed to each dog as she said their name. “We need to go for now, Ana, but you’ll have plenty of time to visit with the girls this week.”
“Okay.” Ana got to her feet and headed back to her parents.
Cassie gave them a wave as she and Kathleen continued their walk. Without discussing it, they both increased their pace to avoid additional delays. Cassie was glad to return her thoughts to the evening ahead of them. There would be plenty of time later for intense conversation.
Chapter Seventeen
They returned to the house and without any effort settled into a comfortable routine. They cleared the dinner dishes and put the leftovers away. As Kathleen switched her clothes to the dryer, Cassie turned out the lights and locked the doors. She waited by the stairs for Kathleen to finish and they climbed to the bedroom together. While Kathleen was in the bathroom, Cassie placed a T-shirt and boxers on the bed for her, pulling on her own set. Then she lit a couple of candles and turned the music on low.
Kathleen paused as she came out of the bathroom, and Cassie watched a slow smile spread across her face. Cassie brushed her body against Kathleen’s as she slid past her into the bathroom. When she returned moments later, the first thing she noticed was the sleep clothes she had laid out for Kathleen were now laying on the dresser. Cassie smiled and stripped her clothes off as she slid under the covers.
Her heart racing with desire, Cassie allowed Kathleen to roll her onto her back as soon as they touched. Clearly Kathleen had an agenda, and Cassie intended to let her accomplish it. Pleasure would come whether she challenged Kathleen’s lead or not, so Cassie relaxed and allowed the passion to consume her.
The clock read four fifteen a.m. when Cassie managed to raise her head from the foot of the bed and focus on the digital numbers. Kathleen’s body was sideways on the bed with her head on Cassie’s stomach. Neither was covered fully by the sheet and the comforter had been thrown to the floor. Cassie slid from under Kathleen and stumbled her way to the bathroom. Her body was stiff and her thigh muscles screamed when she attempted to use them. She smiled. She hadn’t felt this good in years. Maybe ever. After washing her hands, she filled a glass with water and drank it down without pausing. She refilled the glass and carried it with her to the bedroom, setting it on the nightstand. Pulling the comforter from the floor, she straightened the sheets on the bed. Kathleen stirred as Cassie straightened her body on the bed and placed a pillow under her head.
“Would you like a drink, baby?” Cassie whispered.
Without opening her eyes, Kathleen nodded, leaning up on her elbow and Cassie pressed the glass into her hand. She drank most of it and then reached the glass out blindly in front of her. Cassie took it and set it back on the nightstand. She crawled under the covers, spooning her body around Kathleen’s and pulled the blankets over them. Kathleen’s breathing had already returned to the steady sound of sleep. Cassie kissed her neck before falling back into a deep sleep.
* * *
The next time Cassie awoke, Kathleen was sitting on the side of the bed. Cassie threw her arm across her eyes and groaned at the light coming through the windows. Kathleen leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.
“I don’t know what time you normally feed the horses, but it’s almost eight thirty.”
Cassie groaned again and removed the arm from her eyes, looking at Kathleen. Her heart broke at the sadness in Kathleen’s eyes. Instantly she remembered that today Kathleen would return to Pensacola and she felt the emptiness return.
“Will you stay for breakfast?” Cassie asked, trying to keep the catch out of her voice.
“Sure,” Kathleen answered softly before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom.
Cassie climbed out of bed and struggled into her clothes. The enjoyment she had felt earlier this morning was replaced with the heaviness of Kathleen’s impending departure.
She brushed her teeth, watching Kathleen’s shape through the shower wall. Every curve of her luscious body was imprinted on Cassie’s soul. She wanted to beg her not to leave or to demand to know when they would see each other again. None of this was Cassie’s style and as little as she knew of Kathleen she doubted such demands would be tolerated. To prevent saying or doing something she would regret, Cassie left the bathroom and took the girls downstairs to be fed. She felt like she was being strangled and she left the house hoping fresh air would help her to breathe again.
* * *
Kathleen forced the tears to stop and tilted her face to let the shower spray wash them away. Watching Cassie leave the bathroom without speaking to her, she was overcome by emotions. Quickly her tears turned to anger at her own behavior. She had never responded to any woman this way. She had worked hard to become an independent woman who depended on no one.
The distance between Pensacola and Riverview was not that great; it was crazy for her to act like they were saying goodbye forever. Two hours would be an easy drive for either of them, if they chose to make it. Now she knew where her real fears were hiding. Would Cassie be willing to make the drive? Did she even want to continue this? Whatever this was?
She turned the water to freezing and let it beat down on her until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She dressed quickly, already missing the feel of Cassie’s clothes against her skin. She said a silent prayer that Cassie would be willing to talk about their future before she left.
* * *
Cassie fed the horses and then one by one checked them over before turning them loose in the pasture. Zoey stayed close to her, but Pandy had chosen to remain in the house. The girls seldom separated from each other, and Cassie knew they would always come if she insisted. This morning Pandy had hung back when she crossed into the office, and Cassie didn’t call her. It gave her a warm feeling inside that Pandy wanted to stay with Kathleen.
When Cassie and Zoey returned to the house, Kathleen was already working on breakfast. She was dressed in the khaki pants and button-down shirt she had arrived in on Friday. Cassie thought about the white lace bra she had seen a glimpse of the day before and closed her eyes, focusing on the smell of bacon frying instead. Kathleen was mixing eggs and milk in a glass bowl.
“Scrambled eggs okay?” she asked without looking up.
“Sounds great.” Cassie moved behind her and washed her hands at the sink.
They stepped around each other, careful not to touch, as Cassie made toast and placed plates and silverware on the counter beside them. After several minutes had passed, Cassie stopped and watched Kathleen until she made eye contact with her.
“Are we okay?” Cassie asked, wanting to step close and hold her but afraid of pushing her farther away.
Kathleen ran a hand over her face and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “We’re okay.”
Cassie cautiously moved closer. She was sad to see Kathleen leave, but she hoped that it wasn’t a permanent goodbye. She had
felt the tension in the room as soon as she returned and she was unsure how to clear it. She took another step closer and gently placed her hand in the small of Kathleen’s back. Her heart skipped a beat when Kathleen smiled at her.
“This has been an amazing weekend and I’m not sure where we go from here.”
Cassie took the wooden spoon from her hand, laying it on the stove and pulled Kathleen into her arms. Their embrace tightened as the tension left their bodies.
“I’m crashing from the high of the weekend too,” Cassie mumbled into her shoulder. “Maybe I could visit you in Pensacola?”
“Of course! I’d love that.”
“How about tomorrow? Are you free tomorrow? I can make it tomorrow,” Cassie continued to mumble, making Kathleen laugh.
Cassie squeezed her before letting go and picking up the wooden spoon to stir the eggs. “Two hours is not that big of a drive. We’ll work something out.”
“I needed to hear you say that.”
Cassie dished scrambled eggs with cheese onto both of their plates, and Kathleen added the bacon. They each took a warm piece of buttery toast from the toaster oven and carried their plates to the table. Kathleen grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and Cassie filled them from the pitcher of water.
They sat close together silently pushing their food around the plate. Cassie took a bite of toast, and it tasted like cardboard in her mouth. The eggs were soft and filled with cheese, but each bite weighed heavily on her stomach. Finally, Kathleen pushed her plate away and sighed.
“I think I should go. Staying any longer will just make things harder.”
“Like pulling off a Band-Aid.” Cassie smiled, hoping she sounded more cheerful than she felt.
Kathleen started to pick up the dishes.
“I’ll get them later,” Cassie said, placing her hand on Kathleen’s arm. “Would you like a cup of coffee to go?”
Kathleen nodded and followed Cassie toward the office. Cassie watched her pick up her briefcase beside the door and slip into her dress shoes. She stood close, their bodies touching as Kathleen selected her coffee and put a paper cup in the holder. While it brewed, Cassie pulled her into her arms. They clung tightly to each other until the coffee was ready. Cassie pulled a lid from the bottom shelf and snapped it onto the cup.