The Secret of Wild Boar Woods (DS Dave Slater Mystery Novels Book 6)

by P. F. Ford

  ‘Honestly? I think the real reason is he’s missing his girlfriend. She’s away travelling, and he doesn’t know when she’s coming back, or even if she is coming back.’

  ‘Ah, right,’ she said. ‘I had no idea. He hasn’t mentioned her.’

  ‘No, he probably hasn’t,’ said Norman, ‘and don’t tell him I told you. He’s a pretty private person until he feels he knows you and can trust you. That’s just how he is.’

  ‘That’s okay,’ she said, ‘I don’t have a problem with that. And don’t worry, I won’t tell him you told me.’

  Chapter Ten

  Goodnews was, once again, demonstrating she knew how to charm her staff. She had already made a name for herself with some of the changes she had introduced, and now she had placed a hundred quid behind the bar.

  It wasn’t long before the mood lifted, the old jukebox began pumping out some noise, and tired faces were gradually replaced by smiles. In the midst of the Tinton crowd, which had gathered at the far end of the bar, Steve Biddeford had taken control of the pool table and was noisily assuring everyone he would probably retain control for the rest of the night.

  Slater was sharing a drink with Goodnews. They had been talking about nothing in particular for a good ten minutes or more, when she indicated the far end of the bar with her glass.

  ‘Your girl seems to be settling in,’ she said.

  To Slater’s great surprise, Darling was in the thick of it, taking on Biddeford at the pool table, and judging by the frown on Biddeford’s face, she was winning. She seemed to be drinking orange juice, but Slater got the distinct impression that she could probably easily keep up with the more seasoned drinkers, if she chose to. Try as he might, Slater was unable to show much interest in Goodnews, and he was quite relieved when she left after only half an hour, using the excuse that she didn’t wanted to cramp anyone’s style. Slater breathed in her perfume as she bent down to shout goodbye in his ear. She didn’t bathe in it like some women, so it wasn’t very strong, but he recognised it as the same perfume his girlfriend Cindy used to wear, and as the night wore on and his brain became a little fuzzy, he began to think about how much he missed Cindy. He lifted his beer to his mouth and took a deep draught.

  Slater had lost track of time. He’d been sitting on his own watching football on the pub TV, not that he could hear the commentary with all the noise going on at the far end. He thought he must have had four pints. Or then again it could have been five. In fact, it could even be six. He was no longer sure. They just seemed to have kept on appearing as if by magic. He slowly became aware someone had sat down next to him.

  ‘You’re not one of those maudlin drunks, are you?’ asked Darling.

  ‘I’m not drunk,’ he said, uncertainly.

  ‘Okay. Whatever you say. You still look miserable.’

  ‘No, no. I’m fine.’ He looked hazily around the pub. ‘Where is everyone?’

  ‘They’ve all cleared off. It’s just you and me.’

  ‘Has Steve Biddeford gone?’ he asked. Biddeford would normally be on the pool table for the night. If he ran out of police officers to play, he’d take on all comers.

  ‘You mean Mr Super Nobhead?’ she asked. ‘Yeah, he’s gone. I think I might have pissed him off before he left, though.’

  Slater smiled.

  ‘Well, yeah, I’m sure you did. You beat him at pool. He thinks he’s invincible on that table and you beat him how many times?’

  ‘Three.’

  ‘And you’re a woman, to boot. That’s like ten times the insult, and then some.’

  ‘That wasn’t even the half of it,’ she said. ‘Sure he was annoyed about me humiliating him in front of his mates on the pool table, but he couldn’t leave it at that. He tried to impress them all by chatting me up in front of them and telling me what a good time he was going to give me.’

  Slater looked at her expectantly.

  ‘That’s when I really humiliated him.’

  ‘What did you do?’ he asked.

  ‘I told him, very loudly, so everyone could hear, that he wouldn’t even get to sniff my used knickers all the time he had a hole in his arse. That’s when he decided he was tired and had to get home.’

  Slater couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. He had been watching Biddeford earlier. It was obvious he fancied his chances with Darling. He was only sorry he hadn’t seen her telling him where to go.

  ‘How did he score on your scale?’ he asked, genuinely curious, ‘Is he a ten?’

  She smiled, a big smile.

  ‘Oh, he’s way more than that,’ she said. ‘He was off the scale, and that was before he started trying it on.’

  Slater decided he liked his young partner, and he felt he was going to enjoy working with her.

  ‘You’ve got a nice smile,’ he said. ‘You should use it more often.’

  ‘You’re not going to start hitting on me as well, are you? Only you need to understand I’m not into older men, and I’m definitely not looking for a father figure or anything like that.’

  ‘I’m not that bloody old!’ he said, trying to sound offended. ‘Anyway, you’ve no need to worry on that score. You’re not my type either.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it,’ she said, and gave him another smile. ‘Anyway, talking of fancying people, have you told the boss you think she’s hot?’

  ‘I do not,’ he said, indignantly.

  Darling laughed out loud.

  ‘Oh, please. You’re all puppy dog eyes, and almost drooling when you’re around her. It’s a wonder you don’t trip over your tongue.’

  ‘I’ll admit she’s an attractive woman,’ he conceded, embarrassed. ‘But there’s no way I fancy her. Besides I couldn’t get involved with someone I worked with.’

  ‘Ha! So you do think she’s fit,’ said Darling, triumphantly.

  ‘Rubbish. The fact is, the more I get to know her, the less I like her. It’s irrelevant anyway, I’m already spoken for. I have a girlfriend.’

  ‘Really?’ said Darling. ‘You never said. Why don’t you tell me about her?’

  And so he did, at great length, relating the whole sorry story about how he had met Cindy, and how they had fallen in love, and moved in together, and then how his job had come between them. Finally, he told her how she had gone travelling and he had no idea when she was coming back, or even if she was coming back.

  By the time he had finished pouring his heart out, Darling’s eyes were glazing over and she was wishing she hadn’t asked. She felt like she’d learned way too much about Slater and his love life for comfort. To her relief, though, Slater seemed to have exhausted himself and he sat, slumped slightly, his eyes struggling to focus. She looked at him and sighed.

  ‘So you can’t hold your beer any better than you can hold your women?’

  ‘Mmm, whassat?’ he slurred.

  She looked around hopefully, but there were no faces she recognised. The others were long gone. She heaved a bigger sigh.

  ‘I suppose it’s going to be down to me to get you home.’

  He managed to direct a feeble smile in her direction, but he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

  ‘Alright partner?’ he mumbled, as the feeble smile became a stupid grin.

  ‘Oh, yes, bloody wonderful,’ she said. ‘Where are your car keys? Yours is outside and I’m not risking you puking in my car.’

  ‘No puking,’ he muttered.

  ‘That’s right,’ she said, taking his jacket and going through the pockets. ‘No puking, and no funny business.’

  He hiccupped and looked confused.

  ‘But then I don’t think you’re capable anyway,’ she muttered.

  ‘Whassat?’

  ‘I said, I don’t think you could if it was offered to you on a plate,’ she said, much louder this time.

  ‘You’re right. I couldn’t eat a thing. On a plate, in a bowl, it wouldn’t make any difference. Way too much to drink. Not hungry.’

  ‘Good.’ She finally
managed to find his keys. ‘Right, you. Come on. Let’s get you home.’

  Just for a moment it seemed his head had somehow miraculously cleared and he managed to look at her without squinting.

  ‘Are you going to steal my car?’

  ‘Not if it was the last car on earth,’ she assured him. ‘Trust me, I wouldn’t normally be seen dead in a car like yours, but its dark now, and hopefully there’s no one around to see me, so, if you’ll just get your arse in gear, I’m going to drive you home.’

  ‘That’s very good of you,’ he mumbled. ‘I’m sorry you’ve seen me like this. I’m really sorry to be a nuisance, and I’m sorry I was such a shit when you first arrived-’

  ‘If you apologise once more,’ she said, sternly, ‘I’ll leave you to find your own way home.’

  ‘Yeah, but-’

  ‘Look. I’m your partner. Partners are supposed to look out for each other, even if one of them should know better. Anyway, I’m sure you would do the same for me.’

  For a minute, he didn’t speak, but he was obviously thinking hard.

  ‘You’re alright, you are,’ he mumbled, eventually.

  ‘That’s very generous of you,’ she said, patiently, ‘and I’m glad you think so, but please, can we go now?’

  Unsteadily, he managed to get to his feet and, with Darling steering him from behind, he teetered across the bar and out to the car park. She was grateful he had driven his car down earlier, not because they would have had a long walk, but because it was probably better if no one from the police station saw them drive off in the same car. It was inevitable they would jump to the wrong conclusion.

  She managed to pour him into the passenger seat with surprisingly little trouble, and then climbed into the driver’s seat, her breath clearly visible in the late night coldness. It wasn’t until she had started the car that she realised she had no idea where he lived, but he had dozed off by then, so she did the simple, sensible thing and slipped his wallet from his pocket, found the address, and tapped it into the car’s SatNav.

  Chapter Eleven

  Slater opened one eye and looked around suspiciously. The clock showed it was 6.05am. There was a steaming cup of something on his bedside cabinet that smelled vaguely like coffee. But how did it get there?

  Carefully, he sat up in bed and looked around. His head was banging and he felt nauseous. Then he began to remember. He could recall going to the pub and having a few pints, but it got a bit hazy after that. He certainly didn’t remember coming home, and he hoped he hadn’t been foolish enough to drive himself.

  He could hear the radio down in the kitchen, so he assumed he must have come to bed last night and left it on. He must have left all the lights on, too. As he took a sip of his coffee he wondered why he couldn’t remember making it, and then he became aware of another noise. There was someone in his bathroom.

  He climbed from bed, surprised to find he was still wearing his underpants. He usually slept in his pyjamas, and he wondered why he had decided not to put them on last night. He had just reached the bathroom when the door suddenly flew open, and a tiny, wet-haired figure emerged, wrapped in a bath towel.

  ‘Darling! What the hell are you doing here?’ he cried in surprise, hands flying down to hide his modesty.

  An annoyed frown creased her face.

  ‘Oh, good morning, Naomi,’ she said, in her best ironic tone. ‘How are you this morning? Thank you so much for getting me home last night, and for putting me to bed, and for making me a cup of coffee this morning.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Slater, as a hazy memory began to surface.

  ‘Ah?’ she said. ‘Ah? Is that the best you can do? Ungrateful sod.’

  She pushed her way past him and went into his bedroom.

  ‘Wait. Where are you going?’ he said, following her into his bedroom. ‘I’m sorry. Of course I’m grateful if you brought me home, that goes without saying. It’s all a bit hazy, that’s all.’

  She walked around his bed, still holding the towel around her, and sat down on the far side, then she reached down for her handbag. She opened it and produced a tiny pair of knickers. She looked up at his face, his eyes wide.

  ‘I always carry spares,’ she said. ‘You never know when you might need them.’ She reached down again and produced the clothes she had been wearing yesterday. ‘Can I use your iron?’ she asked, surveying the clothes for creases. ‘I’ll go home and change when I get time, but these will have to do for now. It’s just they’re a bit creased.’

  ‘Hang on a minute,’ he said. ‘Why are your clothes on the floor by my bed?’

  She smiled wickedly at him, and he felt the colour drain from his face.

  ‘You didn’t sleep in my bed? With me?’

  ‘Where else was I going to sleep? I couldn’t find a spare duvet, and it was too bloody cold to sleep on your settee without one.’

  He felt horrified.

  ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘There’s no need to worry. I don’t have anything worth catching.’

  His hands went to his face.

  ‘Oh my God,’ he said. ‘We didn’t... did we?’

  She looked coy.

  ‘Don’t you remember?’

  ‘Is that how I came to be undressed?’

  ‘It was fun getting you out of your clothes, I can tell you.’

  ‘But you work for me,’ he said, appalled. ‘I can’t be having sex with you.’ He looked imploringly at her. ‘Tell me we didn’t, did we?’

  ‘You really don’t remember?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, Naomi, I’m so sorry,’ he said. ‘Having sex with you is the last thing I wanted to do.’

  ‘No shit,’ she said, bristling. ‘You really know how to make a girl feel good, don’t you? Am I really that bad?’

  ‘What? No, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure it was very nice,’ he said. ‘But you mustn’t tell anyone.’

  Darling looked appalled.

  ‘I’m sure it was very nice?’ she repeated, aghast. ‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

  She let go of the towel and sat there naked.

  ‘Oh my God,’ he shrieked. ‘You’re naked!’

  ‘Of course I’m naked, I’ve just come out of the shower. What’s the big deal? Haven’t you ever seen a naked girl before?’

  ‘Well, yes-’

  ‘So it’s no big surprise then, is it? Just don’t look, if my body offends you so much.’

  ‘Of course it doesn’t offend me,’ he said. ‘It’s just-’

  ‘We are both mature adults, aren’t we?’

  Slater thought the morning was rapidly going from bad to worse.

  ‘But what are you doing?’ he asked, stupidly.

  ‘Getting dressed, of course,’ she said. ‘I’ll have to borrow a t-shirt or something until I’ve ironed my clothes. Is that alright?’

  His mind was reeling as he struggled to figure out how to deal with this situation.

  ‘Oh, I don’t bloody know,’ he said, helplessly. ‘You do what you want. I’m going for a shower.’

  He stomped off towards the bathroom.

  ‘Give me a shout when you’ve finished and I’ll do you some breakfast,’ she said, to his back, as he walked away. ‘Do you want toast? Or would you prefer toast? Only shopping’s obviously not your strong point.’

  In the bathroom, Slater turned on the shower, set it at lukewarm and stood there, feeling his skin tingle. Surely he hadn’t been so stupid as to have sex with his new DC, had he? She had only been here a couple of days, for goodness sake. He could get the sack if Goodnews was to find out. And he couldn’t even remember how good it was. Jesus, what a mess.

  As he watched the water swirling down the drain, he thought it was probably an excellent visual metaphor for what was going to happen to his career.

  Down in the kitchen, Darling sang along with the radio as she loaded up the toaster. She was wearing one of Slater’s t-shirts, which was way too big for her slender, boyish figure. It reached halfway down her
thighs, and her skinny little legs poked out from the bottom, making her look almost child-like. It certainly wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do until she had run the iron over her work clothes.

  She had just finished buttering her first slice of toast and taken a huge bite from it when the doorbell rang. She could hear the shower was still running upstairs, so, wondering who on earth would be calling this early in the morning, she ambled to the front door.

  A tall, attractive, deeply tanned blonde stood expectantly on Slater’s doorstep.

  ‘Hi,’ said Darling. ‘Can I help you?’

  For what seemed an age, the blonde didn’t seem to be able to form any words, but eventually she managed to mumble a few.

  ‘Err, I was looking for Dave.’

  ‘He’s in the shower.’ Darling smiled and indicated vaguely in the direction of upstairs, with the half eaten slice of toast in her hand.

  ‘And who are you?’ asked the blonde, eyeing her suspiciously.

  ‘Naomi. I’m his new partner.’

  The blonde’s right hand shot up to cover her mouth and her eyes widened.

  ‘His new partner?’ she stammered. ‘He never said anything about-’

  ‘We only hooked up on Monday,’ said Darling. ‘Would you like to come in and wait? I’m sure he’ll be down in a minute. I’m just going to do him some toast. I reckon he’ll be starving after the night we had last night.’

  Just then Slater called downstairs.

  ‘Put some toast on for me, Darling.’

  It didn’t seem possible the blonde’s eyes could widen any more, but somehow they did, and now she began to back away.

  ‘Err, no, it’s okay,’ she stammered. ‘It was silly of me to come this early. I won’t come in if you’re having breakfast. Perhaps I’ll call back another time.’

  With that, she turned and ran off down the path.

  Darling stood in the doorway, mouth open, and watched the tall blonde bolt down the path. It was only after she had climbed into her car and was driving away that Darling realised who she had just spoken to. She closed her eyes and slowly banged her head against the door.