Winter Hopes (Seasons of Love)

by Jennifer Gracen

  “Oh my God, Cars again?” Lydia sighed. “You poor thing.”

  “I think I have every line memorized at this point,” Jane said dryly.

  “Mama!” Andy jumped up when he heard his mother’s voice and ran to her.

  “Hi baby,” Lydia cooed, bending down to hug her son. She kissed his cheeks and asked, “Did you have a good day? You had fun at school?”

  “Yah,” Andy smiled. He hugged her once more, then went right back to the couch. This time, he didn’t snuggle back into his aunt’s side, but sat next to his cousin. Andy sat very close to Ethan, threw his tiny leg over Ethan’s, and they burrowed into each other. Jane and Lydia exchanged a look of affection, mutually delighted over how cute their boys were together.

  Ethan and Andy were more than cousins, they were best friends. Ethan was very protective of his little cousin, often speaking for him when needed and always including Andy in everything he did. When Ethan and Andy were together, they were inseparable. Lydia had always adored watching their interactions, charmed by the cuteness even before she and Matt had separated. But since their separation and then divorce, she had also become grateful for their closeness. Seeing as how Andy would likely never have a sibling of his own now, his and Ethan’s brotherly attachment was all the more endearing to her.

  “How was work?” Jane asked over the boys’ heads as Lydia sat down on Andy’s other side.

  “Okay,” Lydia said, rubbing Andy’s arm lovingly. “Just hard to get back into the swing of it after a long weekend away, you know?”

  “I want to hear everything,” Jane demanded. She looked down at the boys, completely entranced by their favorite movie. “They’re in a TV coma, we can leave them. Let’s go up to the kitchen. I’ll get you a snack, and you’ll tell me every single detail.”

  Lydia laughed as she stood and followed her sister back up to the kitchen.

  She made herself comfortable at the oval, pale wood table in the kitchen nook. She loved sitting there for chats with her sister; the table was right beneath a large bay window that looked out onto the enormous backyard. Long Island was just starting to hit peak foliage in the third week of October. All the trees and flowers in the backyard were ablaze with color, ranging from brilliant golds and oranges to deep rusts and crimsons. “Wow, it’s like your yard turned into an autumn wonderland in the few short days I was away!” she marveled.

  “I know, isn't it great?” Jane pulled down two glasses from a cupboard and went to fill them at the water cooler in the corner. “I knew you’d love it, you fall-loving nature freak. The colors up in Connecticut must have been stunning.”

  Lydia sighed. “It was so fabulous to look at all weekend. I was in nature lover’s heaven, like the big geek that I am.”

  “I’m sure you were,” Jane smiled. She brought the two glasses to the table and set them down. Then she perched her hands on her slim hips and fixed her younger sister with a sharp look, studying her intently.

  “What?” Lydia said with a self-conscious laugh.

  Jane’s eyes narrowed as she continued her scrutiny. Her eyes were the same shade of warm golden brown as Lydia’s, the eyes they’d both inherited from their mother. But, also like their mother, Jane’s shoulder length hair was a glossy chestnut brown, not the shade of copper that Lydia had inherited from their grandmother.

  “You look happy,” Jane pronounced. “In a slightly giddy, but deeply satisfied way. Your eyes are actually twinkling.”

  “Really?” Lydia felt a blush creep into her cheeks.

  “Yeah. You got laid, didn’t you,” Jane accused.

  “No!” Lydia shrieked. Something occurred to her. “Where are Cooper and Sophie?” She didn’t want the kids walking in on such a conversation.

  “Sophie’s up in her room, doing her homework, and Cooper’s at a friend’s house.” Jane went to the refrigerator to get out a bag of baby carrots and a tub of red pepper hummus. “So no more stalling. I want to hear all about this mystery guy. I want to hear about the whole weekend. Tell me already!”

  Lydia laughed, watching her sister situate herself in the chair across from her. Jane put the food in the middle of the table so they could share. Lydia deeply cherished her older sister. Only two years apart, they had always been close, even as children. And like their young sons, they were more than just related, they were best friends. Lydia and Jane could tell each other anything, and usually did. There were few secrets between them.

  “His name is Sam,” Lydia began. “Sam Forrester.” She felt the smile spread across her features.

  “Look at you,” Jane smirked. “You are absolutely smitten, you little peach.”

  “He’s… adorable,” Lydia admitted. “He’s sweet, and smart, and has a sense of humor, and—nice bonus—really good looking. He was just… really easy to be with, you know? We hit it off right away.”

  “Sounds fabulous,” Jane smiled. “Got a picture?”

  “Actually, I don’t.” Lydia shrugged. “Sorry. Maybe I’ll get one soon.”

  “What good are you?” Jane joked. “Tall, dark, and handsome, I assume?"

  Lydia had to giggle as she nodded. Her sister knew her too well. "He runs every morning. He’s not bulked up, but you should see the muscles in his legs. Holy crap."

  "Ohhh, this just keeps getting better and better," Jane drawled. "So how’d you meet him? I mean, was he there for the wedding too? Or just a guest at the hotel?”

  “He was there for the wedding too,” Lydia confirmed as she reached for a carrot. “He grew up with Ryan, they’re like family. His older brother is Ryan’s best friend. So their whole family was there: Sam, his brother Alec, Alec's wife and three kids, and Sam and Alec's parents.”

  “Well, that’s crowded. But cute,” Jane noted. “You’re a friend of the bride, he’s a friend of the groom… nice.”

  Lydia decided not to tell her sister about the drawbacks: how most of the Forrester clan had discreetly, but unmistakably, disapproved of their beloved Sam pursuing a freshly divorced woman, and one with a son to boot. Alec had been particularly nasty, something she wouldn't soon forget. It had shocked her that someone who barely knew her could be so vindictive towards her. Alec may have seemed charming for the first part of the weekend, but then she'd seen him to be cold, judgmental, and malicious… the polar opposite of his younger brother. Sam had been a delight, in every way. Lydia willed her thoughts back to him.

  “I met Sam literally the moment I walked into the hotel,” she said as she tried to crunch her carrot politely. “I went to the front desk to check in, and my suitcase fell over—WHAM!” She smacked the table for emphasis. “It was like a bomb went off, in this huge beautiful lobby with high ceilings and marble floors—like an echo chamber. So, needless to say, I was a little embarrassed. And out of nowhere, there was this guy, sweaty from his morning run and sexy as all hell, being nice and picking my suitcase up for me.”

  Jane smiled approvingly. “Mm-hmmm. Go on.”

  “Then later, in the afternoon, I was sitting outside reading in the garden, and there was the guy again, only this time showered and gorgeous, looking for a place to read his book too. He sat down and we ended up talking for a while. He was friendly. Funny. Very comfortable in his own skin. He wasn’t working it, being overly flirty or anything. I didn’t feel uncomfortable around him at all. Quite the opposite, actually; it was weird, I felt pretty comfortable with him right away. He was easy to talk to, and seriously easy on the eyes. We just clicked.”

  Jane nodded and took a drink before she began her line of questioning. “How old is he?”

  “Just turned thirty-five,” Lydia said.

  Jane arched a dark eyebrow. “Younger than you.”

  “Not even two years,” Lydia pointed out. “I won’t be thirty-seven until December. I’m no cougar—not even close.”

  “True. Where does he live?”

  “Chicago,” Lydia said with a slight sigh.

  “Chicago?” Jane stared at her sister. “Not exa
ctly convenient. Do you think you’ll see him again?”

  “Actually, yes. He, um…” Lydia bit her lip shyly as she revealed, “He has to come to New York for business in a few weeks, so he’s going to make the trip into a weekend so we can get together. His idea. We have a date on Saturday the seventh.”

  Jane’s mouth dropped open a bit. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah.” Lydia let out a nervous laugh. “Crazy, huh?”

  “I’ll watch Andy for you,” Jane said without hesitation. “I’ll take him early and keep him good and late. Done deal. Tell me more about Sam. What does he do?”

  “He’s in Web design,” Lydia said. “He’s the Creative Director at a media company.”

  Jane nodded, making a face that expressed approval. “Creative Director? Impressive. So… he’s thirty-five. Has this Prince Charming ever been married, by any chance?”

  “Yes.” Lydia reached for another carrot and crunched, drifting into thought. “Actually, it’s a really sad story. He got married very young, to his college girlfriend, right after graduation. She was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage three. They were only married a little over two years; she died at twenty-four. He was with her through the whole thing.”

  “Wow,” Jane said softly. “God. That’s awful. I can't imagine…”

  “Yeah.” Lydia chewed quietly before she added, “It was over ten years ago. He took it very hard, didn't marry again. I think he’s pretty much been married to his career ever since.”

  “Typical. But… he’s gotten over it by now, I guess? I hope?”

  “So he claims. He certainly seems alright. Well-adjusted, at peace with it.”

  “Hmm. Well! You managed to meet a guy with as much emotional baggage as you, maybe even more,” Jane quipped. “Congratulations. At least you’re on an even playing ground.”

  Lydia snorted. “Thanks.”

  Both women dipped carrots into the hummus and pondered as they munched.

  “Sooo,” Jane finally drawled with a smirk. “Fess up. Did you sleep with him?”

  “No, I didn’t,” Lydia revealed. “Came close. But God did I want to.”

  “So why didn’t you?” Jane asked, her brows furrowing.

  Lydia shook her head, stared out the window for a few seconds. “It’s not going to make sense to you.”

  “So what? It made sense to you,” Jane said. “That’s what matters.”

  Lydia smiled warmly at her sister. “Thanks for that.”

  “You’re welcome. Now tell me anyway,” Jane replied.

  Lydia laughed. “Okay. Well… the whole weekend, he seemed sincere, he was very respectful of me, treated me with… care. I told him in our first conversation that I'd literally signed the final papers three days before, so he knew where I was coming from. But I just felt so… vulnerable. Whenever we talked, spent any time together, he was so open, so self-assured, so sweet. But opening myself up to him in return, once we hit a deeper level, was really hard for me.” She shrugged. “You know me, I'm not open like that. I always need to be in control of myself, keep my armor on, all of that…” She sighed, grabbed another carrot, and bit into it with frustration. Jane stayed quiet, waiting to hear the rest, so Lydia continued.

  “And truthfully, I felt a little weird about the whole thing, since I am so newly divorced, and I didn’t know how he truly felt about that, even though he said it didn't bother him. And I’ve never had a one night stand in my whole life, and I just…” Her eyes flickered out to the yard as she felt her face heat. “I needed to have something left for myself when the weekend was over. To know that I didn’t just give away everything of myself the first time out… I needed to do that for my own head. For me, that was more important than sleeping with him. And he was hard to say no to, let me tell you—he was hot. Seriously, unbelievably hot. My God.” Lydia shook her head and blushed more. "I sound like an idiot."

  “No, you don't. I completely understand,” Jane murmured. She covered Lydia’s hand with her own. “See? It made sense to me too. You don't sound like an idiot at all.”

  Lydia gave a small smile. "Thanks, Janie."

  “Tell me you at least rolled around with him a little, though,” Jane cracked.

  Lydia burst out laughing. “Yes. I did. More than once. Okay?”

  “What? More than once?” Jane shrieked. “What does that mean?”

  “Well… I met him Friday morning. We spent time together: hung out on Friday afternoon, on Friday night, then Saturday at the wedding… it was good. We got to know each other some. Then we, um, got together on Saturday night,” Lydia confessed, feeling her face go into flames. “I went back to his room with him after the wedding. Rolling around ensued. But I squashed the, uh… big event.”

  “How’d he react?”

  “Truthfully?” Lydia shook her head, still incredulous. “Like a complete gentleman.”

  “Good answer. Like him more already. Continue.”

  “Then, we hung out again yesterday afternoon before we checked out of the hotel. More rolling around, major rolling around, but still no completion of the deed itself. That's about as graphic as I'm going to get. Okay?”

  “Wooow.” Jane fixed her younger sister with a smirk and said, “You go, girl.”

  “Shut up,” Lydia smiled shyly.

  Jane stared for another few seconds. “You like him.”

  Lydia nodded, almost in defeat. “I do. A lot. After only a couple of days. That’s bad, right? Like, stupid bad, as in, I'm really stupid.”

  “I changed my mind: you are an idiot,” Jane pronounced. “Look, you said you both felt this… connection right away. Right? We know you’re fabulous. And he sounds very likable. From what you’ve told me, you’d be a fool not to like him, and vice versa. You said he pursued you all weekend, and it was his idea to make his trip to New York longer so you could get together. So no, you’re not stupid—it sounds like he’s into you too. Has he contacted you since you got home yesterday? Email, phone call, text, anything?”

  “As soon as he got back to Chicago last night, he texted me,” Lydia nodded. “Then he called, and we talked for almost an hour.”

  “Huh! Well, there you go. He’s into it. He digs you too. I hate to tell you this, but it all sounds good so far. I say let yourself enjoy the ride.” Jane dipped another carrot into the hummus and crunched on it. “Are you capable of doing that, my favorite control freak and over thinker extraordinaire?”

  “I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” Lydia sighed.

  Jane pondered as she chewed. Then her eyes flickered, almost bitterly. “Hey. Did you tell Matt you met someone?”

  “NO!” Lydia squeaked. “I’m not telling anyone about this except for you and Tracey. Let’s see what even happens first, alright? Sam could be full of crap, turn out to be not so great, or cancel the trip out here, or decide this long distance thing isn’t going to work and end it before it starts, who knows. Usually something that seems like it’s too good to be true—it is. So let’s just take it easy, okay?”

  Jane shrugged. “I don’t think any of that’s going to happen, Miss Glass Half Empty. Call it a hunch.” She stretched her arms over her head. “Not that you won’t think up the worst, dream up every bad scenario, and have it over in your head before it’s even begun. You’ll make yourself crazy if you’re not careful. Try to decide not to do that, okay?”

  Lydia sighed again. “You know me too well.”

  “I sure do. And guess what?” Jane smiled a big, teasing, wide smile. “I love you anyway. You big slut.”

  Lydia snorted and threw a baby carrot at her big sister.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “WELL,” SAM SAID. Lydia could hear muffled sounds—he must have been balancing the phone between his head and shoulder to free his hands. She remembered he was very expressive when he talked, and knew he also needed to pace the room. “Now I’ve got a better idea of what your job is like, what you actually do with your students day to day. Cool. Thanks for that.”


  “Um, you’re welcome?” Lydia said.

  “What? I was truly interested. That’s why I asked.”

  “Okay.” Lydia curled farther into her corner of the couch and tucked her feet underneath her legs. “Well… it’s nice that you were interested enough to ask.” She glanced at the clock. They’d been on the phone for over twenty minutes already. Third night in a row. This was getting to be a habit that she liked.

  “Well, now I also know that I’ve been keeping you up a little later than you’re used to on school nights,” Sam said, his smile coming through in his tone. “And I’m sorry about that. You should've said something. You must have been really tired the past couple of mornings.”

  “I was fine,” she said easily. “As long as I get to sleep by eleven at the latest, I’m okay. And I haven’t been going to bed past that. I’ll let you know when I get too tired, or need to get going.”

  “Good,” Sam said. “So, before that happens tonight, let’s do some dopey stuff.”

  “Like what?” Lydia asked, amused.

  “I don’t know. Silly questions.” For a second, he sounded like a teenager who’d just suggested they play Truth Or Dare. “Um… what’s your favorite color?”

  She giggled. “What are we, thirteen?”

  “It made you laugh, didn’t it?” he said cheerfully.

  “Yes, it did. Okay. Purple.”

  “Ah. Any particular shade?” he asked. “Lighter, like lavender? Or a deep violet?”

  “I like all shades, but a deep, rich violet is my favorite,” she said. “And yours?”

  “Blue,” he said. “I know, boring. I’m a guy and I like blue, how original. But then I’d go a step further by clarifying that my favorite shades are the bold ones, cobalt and royal.”

  “Spoken like a true artist.”