by J. M. Miller
“Goodnight,” he replied, walking down the hall.
Back in my room, I tossed the hoodie onto my bed then traveled downstairs to raid the refrigerator. With all the crap cluttering my head, a drink or two would be the only way to calm down. A minute later, I was back in my room, twisting the first bottle and staring at the hoodie on my bed. I took a few pulls and paced a couple of steps before sitting beside it. After another large gulp, I pinched the arm of the hoodie and started unraveling it like a present. This wasn’t a present, though. This was an answer. One that scared me more than anything ever had.
I peeled off the last portion of the hoodie, revealing the beige well stone. This one was darker than the first we’d found in the trunk, but it was equal in size and emotional devastation. My fingers traced over the etched letters as I chugged the rest of the beer. Dahlia had made these words long ago, carving all of her hate into the well, cursing the family who had broken her heart. And even though I wasn’t an intended target, I felt it all anyway because LJ meant more to me than life now. I loved her.
“Memories gained, memories lost. For someone’s today, at your yesterday’s cost,” I mumbled, staring at the words and cracking open the next bottle.
Everything was true. Everything Janine had gone through, LJ would soon follow. The days would go by normally at first. Gradually, she would forget more. She’d already forgotten me once. She might’ve forgotten other things that I didn’t know about. Shit.
I pressed my eyes closed tight as I took another long drink. I should tell her. After all, she was losing the drive to find answers to the curse. I could see it in her face tonight. She was tired of the disappointment. And that tiredness was winning the battle over the headaches and voices. That was a huge problem.
Leaning back against the wall, I kicked off my boots and took a deep breath to let the buzz calm my mind. I skimmed my thumb over the bottle’s thin layer of condensation, closed my eyes, and ran my other hand through my hair. How could I tell her? Once again, I knew something and hadn’t told her. Another omission about the well. But I didn’t want to hurt her with the darkest part of the well’s truth. Was that selfish of me? When she was dealing with so much already, keeping that part from her seemed like the best thing to do. I’d been skeptical of the memory loss and I honestly thought we would’ve found all of the information by now. I’m such an idiot. I should’ve told her everything from the beginning.
Earlier, after LJ had left the office to use the bathroom, I moved to the bookcase by one of the double windows and started jostling things around. While crouched at the bottom shelf, I glanced at the wooden bench that linked two cases. It had two tasseled throw pillows on top, but hardly looked big enough for one person to sit on. From my angle, I noticed that its wooden top extended farther than the base. It was a lip. I opened the bench’s top, exposing the hollow storage space. Extra throw pillows were stacked neatly inside, causing my excitement to crash and burn. I flipped the pillows angrily and clipped something at the bottom. A wooden box was tucked in the corner under the largest cushion.
It was plainer than anything in the room. The bookcases had fancy spiraled details along their edges, mirroring the desk and the wall paneling. Even the curtains had intricate stitch work. This box was old like everything else, but simple. There was no lock, just a single hinge. The only thing inside was the stone. No journal pages, no random sticky notes from Janine. It was alone.
I read it, panicked, and wrapped it in my hoodie. I couldn’t let her find out tonight. She was strong, stronger than she thought, but this effect of the curse was far worse than headaches and hearing voices. Knowing would likely tear her apart. It was already tearing me apart.
I tipped my next beer back, thinking about the final stone. There was a wedding tomorrow so we wouldn’t have to work, only search. LJ reluctantly agreed to help because I promised to take her somewhere. I knew she needed the time away. Shit, I wanted to take her everywhere. I just wasn’t willing to ignore the curse. She was.
That’s why I needed to tell her tomorrow. After another beer, it all became as clear as the empty bottle in my hands. I dropped it on the floor then turned to stare at the stone beside me. I traced my fingers over the letters again, as if touching them would make the truth disappear.
Tap. Tap. My eyes darted toward the door. I sat up straight, rewrapped the stone, and dropped it on the floor against the wall at the head of my bed.
Tap. Tap. I jumped up, instantly hit with the effects of the beer. The room spun, forcing me to stop a second before I could get to the door. I cracked it open and was met by my angel in my green T-shirt. Her nervous smile begged me to let her in before Pop heard us. I widened the door’s opening enough for her to slip in then closed it behind her.
Her hands snaked around me from behind and I looked down to watch her delicate fingers roam my stomach. “I don’t want to sleep without you,” she whispered.
Those words tugged at me like none I’d ever heard. The thought that she needed me made me so happy, though my guilt overshadowed that happiness like the freaking plague. I touched her hands and turned around to face her. “You walked the tunnel alone? Why didn’t you text me?”
She stared into my eyes, then broke contact to look around the room. Her gaze stopped on the empty bottles lined at the foot of my bed. “I knew you’d probably talk me out of it,” she answered my question first and turned back to me. “And I can see why you might have. Are you okay?” she asked, reaching up to my face. She trailed her fingers over my jaw, lightly skimming my scruffy hairs. Her hand was so warm it stole me from my thoughts.
“Yeah,” I replied, moving my hands to her waist. “I just needed to get out of my own head for a bit.” She dropped her hand to my chest. I let my eyelids fall, dipped my face down to her neck, and breathed her in. Her scent was nearly as soothing as her touch.
“Do you want me to leave?” she whispered to my ear as her hands looped around my back. I could hear the reluctance in the question. She wanted to be with me. As far as I was concerned, nothing else mattered. I only wanted to make her happy.
“No,” I whispered back, kissing her neck. “Stay with me.” Even buzzed, I could feel her shudder at my touch. It amazed me that I could make her feel that way. I was nobody. I wouldn’t have even registered within her old world. Yet here we were. Together.
Her arms tightened a bit before letting go. She backed away from me and stared at the bottles again. I hoped she wouldn’t keep asking about my night. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep the truth from her. “Where’d you get the beer?” she asked and I sighed, grateful for the topic change. She took a seat on my bed, kicking off her unlaced, calf-high combat boots, revealing her pretty bare feet.
I rubbed my hands over my face to clear my thoughts, then pushed them back through my hair. “It was left over from the Halloween party. I think Simone gave them to Pop for working the front door, also for handling… everything else,” I said, not meaning to bring up the fight. We didn’t need to revisit that again right now. My head was screwed up enough.
She pressed her lips together while looking down at her lap. “Are you going to offer me one?”
“Sure. Give me a minute.”
I returned with a six pack to avoid another trip. Pop usually slept so well that a car could crash through his room and he’d keep snoring. But I still didn’t want to take the chance of him finding LJ here.
She’d made herself more comfortable while I was gone, setting her phone on my desk and lying down in bed, like any other time she had visited my room. I instantly looked to my hoodie, worried she might have curiously looked through my mess while I was gone. It was still bunched near the wall where I’d dropped it. Not wanting to draw attention to where I was looking, I turned and set the extra beers on my desk then twisted two open. She sat up and pulled her bent knees to her chest when I handed her a bottle.
“German?” she asked, eying the label.
“Pop’s favorite,” I said
, taking a seat and the first pull on my new bottle. I glanced over as she placed the bottle between her lips and tipped it back.
She licked her bottom lip when she finished. Those lips. I smirked, thinking how much I loved the feel of them. She narrowed her eyes and asked, “What?”
“Nothing,” I replied then swigged again and leaned back onto my elbows, occupying the space where her legs had been moments ago. The conflict running through me was slowly fading, drowned out by the beer and LJ. I was nervous about her being here, yet her presence was actually sedating. And she looked so damn gorgeous that I couldn’t help but to smile at her.
“Don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ Did you think I wouldn’t drink it?” She stretched her legs out across my lap. Flexing and contracting her pretty, unpolished toes, she smiled and tipped her bottle back again.
I chuckled and took another long drink before sitting up and setting my beer on the floor. My other hand held her feet in place. “Have I ever doubted you?” I asked, grabbing one of her cute, delicate feet with both hands. I slid my fingers up her foot’s tender arch and her leg flinched slightly. I raised a devilish brow, knowing I found a new ticklish spot. I’d roamed all over her body on my birthday and last night, but this was one place I’d neglected. Until now.
“No, I guess not,” she answered, trying to contain a smile. Her lips pressed together and her legs stiffened, attempting to hide her weakness.
I dug my thumbs into the thicker padding of her foot, massaging softly. “You guess not?” I asked, returning my fingers to her arch. Making circles on her skin, I waited for her to give in. She narrowed her eyes stubbornly so I proceeded with my assault. Her legs clenched and straightened while I slowly dragged my fingertips along her soles. A clipped giggle escaped her lips and her hands, still holding her beer, shot up to cover her face, as if hiding would make it go away.
“C’mon, LJ,” I teased. “You’re holding on, but I bet I can drive you wild just by touching these sexy feet. Just to clarify, now I’m doubting you.” I knew she was competitive enough to take the bait. I needed her to play along so I could forget these other feelings. At least for one more night.
She shook her head, dropping her hands and the beer to her lap and taking a deep breath. Her eyes opened and fixed on me. “You’re good, but not that good. Do your worst, Shadows.”
I grinned foolishly like the infatuated bastard I’d become. This girl was closer to me than I ever thought she’d be. She’d become my everything. Her perfect pink lips tipped up, daring me to make my move. “Okay, Bubbles, but you’re going to regret saying that.” I scooted farther back and turned my body to face her, holding both her feet in one hand.
“Hang on. I need to prepare,” she said and took another drink. “Okay, go ahead.”
I slid her legs aside, got to my knees, and leaned over her, breathing lightly on her neck while I took hold of her beer.
“You said feet, nothing else,” she whispered, close to my ear.
“Don’t worry. I don’t need to cheat,” I replied, smiling that my closeness was affecting her. “I just don’t want you spilling this.” I took her beer, set it on the floor, and carefully pushed my hoodie a little farther under the bed. Then I returned to opposite end of the bed and pulled her legs back to me, running my hands down her calves because I couldn’t help myself. She wagged her finger at me and I laughed.
“You ready?”
“Let’s do this,” she said, trying to sound tough.
Setting her right foot down, I kept hold of her left and gently pinched her big toe. “This little piggy went to the market,” I started and she howled with laughter. I put my finger to my lips to remind her that Pop was in the house then grabbed the next and continued, “This little piggy stayed home.” I moved through the last toes, watching her track my progress. Her eyes were alight as she giggled quietly.
“You’re right. It’s driving me crazy. But you need to try harder if you want to make me squirm.”
“Okay, but just know you’ve brought this on yourself.” I grabbed my beer and took another pull. She leaned over and retrieved hers to do the same. I waited for her to set it down again before lifting her foot and massaging it. She tipped her head back, looking at the ceiling. Her hands slipped behind her neck and stretched up, making her hair cascade onto her shoulders. It was such a turn-on to see her relaxed and comfortable. She was happy right now, not stressed, not upset.
I stopped my fingers and she tipped her face back down to look at me. “Are you punking out?”
“Nope,” I replied, grabbing both feet and yanking her body toward me. I needed her closer. If she wanted me to drive her crazy, it was going to happen. Her head popped up after hitting the pillow and her eyes widened. “Just getting started,” I said with a smirk.
I lifted her feet close to my face and her eyebrows shot up with shock. “You wouldn’t!”
“Oh, yes. Just by touching your feet,” I reiterated the deal. “I didn’t say what I’d touch you with.”
“Don’t you dare, Benjamin! That’s gross. Don’t tell me you have a foot fetish or something.”
I watched the curiosity gleam in her eyes. She was intrigued, not grossed out as her words suggested. “Not sure if it’s a fetish when these are the only feet I want,” I replied.
She started to pull back, but I gripped her ankles and stared into her green eyes again. She pressed her lips together as I moved my face closer to her feet. I could see the battle raging inside of her. Curiosity was winning. My eyes never left hers as I gently brushed my lips over her big toe. She gasped a bit, but didn’t move, so I pressed my lips fully against the pad. Her lips parted and her breathing sped up. I kissed every other toe the same way, watching her stare at me.
Every muscle in her body relaxed and she sighed when I pulled my lips away from the last little toe. I kept her feet in hand and grabbed another drink. My thoughts were foggy, but clear enough to know that she’d enjoyed every bit of the love I’d given her toes.
“Well,” she said, eying me with a smile, “that wasn’t so bad.”
“You liked it.” It was a statement because I knew it was true. She blushed and wiggled with embarrassment. When she started to draw her feet in, I said, “I wasn’t done.” She gaped at me, wondering what I meant. I opened my mouth and swept my tongue over the edge of my top teeth to show her my intent.
“No, Ben,” she squeaked out. “Don’t.”
I didn’t listen. Instead, I smiled wide and moved in for the kill. As soon as my tongue touched her skin, she bucked her leg back and kicked out. Her foot collided with my jaw and I felt the ripple of pain shoot down my neck as my head recoiled. It was equal to the blow Ryan delivered last night—not concussion worthy, but head rattling. I went limp, deciding not to fight the motion, and let my head fall back onto the bed. On instinct, my hand moved to cover my jaw, but I knew it wasn’t bad. The pain wasn’t even close to when I’d broken my jaw. But I still wanted her to console me. To be honest, her body on top of mine was what I really wanted and this was the quickest way to make that happen.
She reacted exactly how I thought she would, gasping right after my head hit the comforter. “Oh my God, Ben. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” she asked, climbing over me for a closer look.
With my eyes closed, I could feel her knees on both sides of my body. She sat down on my stomach and her hands gently cradled my jaw. “Ow,” I said, playing it up.
“I told you not to.” Her voice was strained with concern. “Did I break it?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I said, opening my eyes. She looked my face over, tilting my head, examining me closely. Her concern gave me a feeling like no other. It showed me how much she truly cared. There were no motives, no incentives. She loved me.
I placed my hands on her thighs. She was so preoccupied she barely noticed.
“Does it hurt?”
“I’ll live,” I said, splaying my fingers over her smooth yoga pants.
“I’m so sorry.�
��
“If you’re that sorry, you can make it up to me.”
She tilted her head suspiciously. “How’s that?”
“I think you have to test my jaw,” I said, gripping her thighs with more pressure. “To make sure it still works.” I put on my best flirty smile.
Realization set in and the worry melted from her face. She shook her head at me and rolled her eyes. “Test it?” She laughed first then got serious. “I’m glad the beer helped loosen you up. I was worried about you earlier. I know that you are focused on finding answers with me, but I don’t want you worrying so much,” she said with her hands on my chest.
If she only knew, I thought hazily. Hopefully, if I could figure it all out soon, neither of us would have to worry anymore. I pushed the thoughts away, needing to stay positive tonight. “The only thing I’m worried about right now is you leaving me,” I replied honestly. I didn’t want the curse to take her away. It was my biggest fear. It was my only fear.
She pushed her fingers into my hair. “I won’t leave you.” Her eyes were wide, begging me to get lost in them. She dipped close and slowly kissed my lips. When her tongue pushed into my mouth, it set off every nerve in my body. Through the buzz, I felt it all and craved more.
Our breaths quickened, matching the frantic movements of our lips. I sat up with her in my lap and broke our contact to yank off my shirt. There was an urgency to feel her skin against mine unlike any I’d felt before.
She didn’t waste time either, peeling off her shirt just as fast. Her hands returned to my hair, tugging as our lips met again. Chest to chest, I could feel her heart beating as wildly as my own. In this moment, they were connected so profoundly they could be confused as one.
I kissed down her neck, devouring the taste of her as well as every soft breath, every whimper she released to my ear. There was nothing else as beautiful in this world and I wanted to show her.
“And I’ll never let you go,” I said, laying her back on the bed.
I never knew love could feel this way. So absolute. So powerful. It lived deep within my soul, like it was on another plane, existing only for him. I could see it when he looked at me. I could hear it every time he said my name. I loved him. There was no denying it.
