Shattered Lives

by Joseph Lewis

  Kelliher frowned, shrugged at Jeremy and said, “Both are going to be watched closely anyway, so I’m not sure how this helps.” Then to George he said, “If you have any other dreams, tell Jeremy right away, but call me as soon as you can.”

  George nodded and then said, “May I ask some questions?”

  Pete nodded and Jeremy said, “Sure.”

  “Why did the policeman kick me?”

  Of all the questions he could have asked, even the ones they thought he was going to ask, he asked one that they never expected, and one that neither Pete nor Jeremy had an answer for. They looked at each other, and Jeremy shook his head and Pete shrugged disgustedly.

  “George, I don’t have a good answer for you. Actually, none . . . just that some people are assholes . . . ‘scuse my language,” Pete said.

  Jeremy said, “I think he saw a kid with long hair and a gun and sometimes that freaks cops out. Then, the cop finds out an FBI agent’s involved . . .” Jeremy shrugged. “I’m not excusing it because it isn’t right.”

  “Tim said there are men after me.”

  Jeremy nodded and said, “That’s what we believe. However, we think you’re safe for now because you’ll be traveling across the country. Only Jeff and I know the route we’ll be taking. Pete won’t even know until I call him with an update.”

  “A bigger concern is what happens when you get to Arizona,” Pete added. “We’re going to coordinate with your cousin, Leonard, when you get closer. We’re not sure who we can involve other than your cousin at this point, because . . . well, frankly . . . we don’t know who we can trust in or out of the agency. That includes the Tribal Police, other than your cousin.”

  “But Pete and I’ve been talking, and we think we have a plan,” Jeremy added.

  George frowned. He was putting Jeremy and the twins and Jeff and Danny in danger. He didn’t like the potential of being responsible for their deaths.

  He didn’t like that at all.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Chicago, Illinois

  They met in the sun room, a large room at the end of the hall that had more windows than any of the other rooms on the floor and that overlooked a lawn with benches and walkways. It served as a gathering place for recovering patients and their families, sometimes just to visit, sometimes to eat a meal, sometimes just for the patients themselves to sit and relax and get out of their rooms for a moment or two.

  The boys had been meeting there since they had been admitted and usually sat in the comfortable chairs and a couch near the windows. Tim and Brett had gravitated towards windows because they had been without them for two years and at times, the two stood and stared out at the Chicago landscape, the sun or the clouds without a spoken word between them. As long as the two boys were together and near the windows, silence didn’t matter.

  George walked in trailing Pete and Jeremy, and he didn’t get more than two steps inside the door when Billy appeared on one side and Danny on the other. He saw Randy talking with a small group of adults towards the center of the room, while Jeremy and Pete approached a few others.

  As George was noticed by the parents, they stepped forward in groups of two or so, and when they did, Billy and Danny, who were uncomfortable to begin with because they didn’t really know anyone, drifted away to a corner and sat at a table with Jeff.

  Humble by nature, George nonetheless accepted each thank you, each hug and each kiss given to him by the parents. The most emotional were Thad and Laura Pruitt.

  Thad took hold of George’s hand in both of his and didn’t let go.

  He said, “George, I can’t thank you enough for saving our son. We’re . . .” looking at his wife and then back at George, “forever in your debt.”

  “We hope you stay in touch with Tim,” Laura added.

  It was similar sentiments from each of the parents with the exception of Ted Bailey. There was an unfriendly, cold attitude about him, and George didn’t care for him.

  After the parents, it was the boys’ turn.

  Stephen stood before him after saying thank you to Randy and said, “Billy said you might live with him and Randy and Jeremy.”

  George blushed and smiled tentatively, but was noncommittal.

  Stephen nodded at Mike and said, “We hope so. That way we’ll get to see you every now and then.”

  They shook hands, rather formally and awkwardly, but in a friendly manner.

  Mike stepped forward and George smiled and reached out to shake his hand, but was wrapped in a gentle embrace instead.

  Mike made sure Stephen couldn’t hear when he whispered, “I’m w-worried about Stephen and T-Tim.”

  Then he clung a bit tighter, a little bit longer and then let go. George had heard that Mike had developed a stutter, and was pleased that it seemed to be going away. Yet, he didn’t respond other than to grasp Mike’s shoulders and nod.

  Stephen said, “I hope we see you again.”

  George nodded, wondering what it was that Mike might be worried about, but he made a mental note to figure it out.

  Brett stepped forward tentatively with almost a shyness about him, however George wasn’t fooled. There was strength and toughness and sensitivity that he was drawn to. They didn’t say anything right away, but just smiled at each other. It was George who spoke first.

  “You remind me of my brother, William.”

  “Yeah? How’s that?” Brett asked with a laugh, wondering how that was possible.

  George laughed softly, shook his head and said, “I don’t know. You just do,” and he laughed again.

  “Whatever,” Brett said with a laugh and then said, “You saved Tim’s life. He’s my best friend.”

  “I know.”

  “I’d like us to be friends . . . you know . . . if you wanna.”

  George reached out and hugged Brett who hugged back as best he could with his good arm.

  “I’d like that,” George said.

  “Thank you,” Brett said choking up and then he added, “Thanks for saving Tim.”

  George nodded, swallowing to get the lump out of his throat.

  “Will I see you again?” Brett asked.

  Not knowing why, George nodded and said, “Yes, I think so.”

  Brett nodded and said, “I hope so.”

  He turned to leave, brushed tears from his eyes, but turned back and smiled, giving George a little wave, who smiled, nodded and waved back.

  George shoved his hands in his pockets, looked around, smiled at a couple of the parents and searched for Tim. He found him standing at one of the windows with his back to the room. As he neared him, George saw that Tim had his eyes shut so he stood silently next to him.

  Down below in the grassy area, there were patients in robes walking slowly in the courtyard. One or two sat on benches in the grassy area. Others not in robes walked slowly back and forth with those who wore robes, and George supposed they were family members of patients who needed fresh air.

  “Your grandfather said I was thinking about giving up,” Tim said finally opening his eyes but not turning to face George.

  George didn’t say anything.

  “He was right,” Tim said quietly. “I still think about it. I think about Johnny, Stephen’s dad, all the other guys we watched get taken away in handcuffs.” He paused and said, “There were so many. All the shit that they did to us.” He shook his head. George was about to tell him that he couldn’t, when Tim said, “I won’t.”

  George nodded.

  “I’d miss Brett, and I know it sounds gay, but I love him.”

  George understood immediately what Tim had meant.

  “I know I’d miss Stephen and Mike . . . especially Mike . . . maybe one or two of the other guys, but I’d really miss Brett.” He waited a couple of beats and then said, “And you.”

  George glanced at him, smiled and said, “I feel the same.”

  “Why did your grandfather . . . ?”

  George knew what he was asking.

  He s
hook his head and said, “I do not know.”

  Tears welled up in George’s eyes. He didn’t know where they had come from or why. His grandfather was- is and always will be special to him, and for him to come to Tim meant something important, and George knew there had to be a reason.

  George knew that Tim and Brett, even Stephen and Mike, had become important to him. Jeremy, Billy and Randy had become his family in many ways. There was the death of his family and wrestling with whether or not to live with Jeremy and the twins or live back home. He had never felt this much at one time. It was too much.

  “I’m glad he did,” Tim said quietly, brushing some tears from his eyes.

  “Me too,” George answered, also wiping away some tears. “Me too,” he repeated quietly.

  “I won’t give up, George.”

  “I know. You are stronger than you think.”

  Tim looked over at George, squinted at him, and then said, “Can we be friends?”

  “I would like that very much.”

  The two boys embraced and held onto each other.

  “I don’t know how to thank you.”

  “You do not have to.”

  “I love you, George. Thank you.”

  “Friends,” George said, gripping Tim a bit harder.

  “Friends,” Tim answered, kissing George’s cheek.

  They broke away, wiped tears from their faces and laughed at themselves and with arms slung around each other’s shoulders joined the large group and said their final goodbyes.

  Tim motioned for Brett to join him and then called to Stephen and Mike. George and Randy followed, though they stood a step out of their circle, not sure if they should be included. Jeff, Danny and Billy stayed well back, but watched intently, while Jeremy and Pete went off to the side and spoke quietly.

  At first, Stephen and Mike stood facing Tim and Brett, and the six of them didn’t say anything, knowing that in minutes they’d be leaving for home, not sure when, or if, they’d be together again.

  Finally Tim smiled and said, “Stephen, you and Mike have to be careful. Like Randy and Jeremy said, you need to make a list.”

  “We’ve started, but we can’t think of anyone who would do that to me,” Stephen answered.

  Brett shook his head and said, “That means you have to keep your eyes open. You have to watch each other’s backs.”

  “Brett’s right,” Tim added quietly. “Stephen, you’ve got to be careful.” He looked at Mike and said, “As much as you can, stick together.”

  “Jeremy said Detective Graff is arranging protection,” Mike said.

  Stephen clarified, “He’s going to have a couple of undercover cops watching me . . . us, until they figure out who the pervert is.”

  “That’s good, but they can’t be with you twenty-four seven,” Tim said, “So you’ll need to be there for each other, okay?”

  Mike looked at the floor, frowning.

  “What?” Tim asked.

  Mike jammed his hands into his front pockets.

  Tim reached out and placed his hand on Mike’s shoulder and said again, “What?”

  “I’m . . . p-pissed. This sh-shouldn’t have h-happened to us. N-None of it. N-Now we have to w-watch wherever we g-go, who we t-talk to, m-make a s-stupid list. I’m p-pissed.”

  “Watching out, being careful and making a list makes sense. And, I think we’re all pissed off,” Brett said.

  Tim and Stephen nodded in agreement.

  Tim turned to Randy and asked, “How did you get over it, you know . . . being pissed off at what was done to you?”

  “And the flippin’ perverts?” Brett added.

  “Flippin’?” Tim said with a laugh.

  “Thought I’d work on my vocabulary,” Brett said with a laugh.

  Randy smiled sadly and said, “Billy, Dad and I went to see the Bat Man movie, Dark Knight. There’s a scene where this cop, Blake, talks to Bruce Wayne. Blake said that when his parents were killed and he was put in a foster home, he learned too late to smile and laugh and act like a normal kid, so the foster parents gave up on him, and he ended up in an orphanage.”

  He paused and said, “He said the smile became his mask . . . like Bat Man’s mask.”

  The four boys already understood where he was going.

  “I was so angry . . . so afraid. I didn’t treat my dad very well the first days, even weeks. I didn’t trust him,” Randy glanced over his shoulder at Jeremy who was listening intently to Pete. “Eventually, I started to smile and laugh like other kids. I know I’m not afraid, but it’s been over two years, and I’m still pissed off. So I guess, you could say I wear a mask too.”

  George had never heard Randy talk like that. He had noticed that Billy had a crooked smile. Randy’s smile was sad, and even though he smiled, it never touched his eyes.

  “It won’t do you any good to be pissed off. No one will understand anyway,” Randy added. “So, wear a mask like me and all the other kids this has happened to. Eventually . . . well,” he stopped and shrugged. “Like I said, no one understands anyway.”

  “Except us,” Tim said.

  Stephen looked from Tim, to Randy, to Brett and to George and said, “Can we talk every now and then? I mean, like if we have questions or something? Or maybe just talk?”

  “Boys, we have to get going,” Ted Bailey said impatiently.

  Sarah said, “Ted, leave. Stephen and I’ll get a ride with Jennifer and Mark.”

  He didn’t leave, but it did shut him up.

  Ignoring Stephen’s dad, Tim said, “Of course. Brett and I don’t have cell phones yet, but we gave you our home phone numbers, and we have yours. When we do get cells, we’ll make sure you get the number.”

  “You can call me or Tim anytime, day or night,” Brett added. “Chances are we won’t be able to sleep much anyway.”

  “You have George’s and my numbers, right?” Randy asked.

  Stephen and Mike nodded.

  Stephen added, “And Danny’s and Billy’s too.”

  Quietly, Brett said, “Stephen, every now and then check Mike’s butt just to make sure he’s healing.” Then to Mike he said, “Sometimes you wipe too hard and that one stitch bleeds.”

  Mike blushed and said, “I s-sort of f-forget.”

  “I will,” Stephen said nodding.

  “And Mike, you have to work on your stuttering. You’re sounding better, but keep working on it, okay?” Brett said.

  Mike blushed and nodded.

  “I’m going to miss you two,” Tim said. He embraced first Stephen and then Mike. “I’m really going to miss you guys.”

  Stephen and Mike and their families left, leaving Tim, Brett, Randy and George in the center of the room. For the longest time, Tim and Brett stared at each other, not saying anything. First Randy, then George looked away because it was too painful to watch.

  Tim broke eye contact first and said to Randy, “You’ll stay in touch?”

  They embraced in a long hug and Randy said, “Absolutely.”

  When they broke apart, there were tears in their eyes.

  Tim nodded at George, didn’t say anything, then embraced him and whispered, “I promise.”

  “I know.”

  Tim faced Brett and again the two of them stared at each other without exchanging a word, but that didn’t prevent them from communicating. George had noticed that Randy and Billy had done the same thing over the short time he had been with them.

  Finally, Tim and Brett hugged each other fiercely with Tim rubbing Brett’s back. Before he let go, he kissed Brett’s cheek and then gently held Brett’s face in both of his hands.

  “I’m going to miss you the most, Brett.”

  “Me, too.” Then he added, “I love you, Tim.”

  “I know. I love you, too.”

  They embraced again and this time, both boys kissed each other’s cheek.

  They wiped tears away, and Tim said quietly, “Can you do me a favor?”

  “Anything.”

&n
bsp; “Can you wait fifteen or twenty minutes before you leave? I don’t think I can say goodbye again.”

  “Me, neither,” Brett said thickly.

  George said, “In my language, there is no word for goodbye.”

  The three boys looked at him waiting for an explanation.

  “The closest word is ‘yá'át'ééh’ . . . a greeting.” He shrugged.

  The three boys smiled at him, and George smiled back, blushing deep crimson, even noticeable under his copper-colored skin.

  “So, we don’t say ‘goodbye’,” Tim said, smiling first at Brett, then at Randy and George.

  “Sounds good to me,” Brett answered.

  Tim joined his parents and the three of them left the room, leaving Brett, Randy and George watching them leave.

  “I can call you guys, right?” Brett said, not taking his eyes away from the doorway that Tim had just walked through.

  “Absolutely,” Randy said. “Anytime.”

  “I hope you do,” George added.

  Brett turned and smiled at him and said, “I will. I was just being polite.”

  George and Randy laughed.

  “Can I say something?” George asked.

  Brett nodded.

  “I know you are angry, but when you face him, and I think you will, you cannot be so angry that you lose focus. You have an advantage because he sees you as just a kid. It is the same advantage I had when I faced that man sent to kill us and with the agent who had Tim. Do not lose that advantage. You have to keep your focus. You have to remain calm.”

  Brett nodded, hugged George and Randy one more time. Then he joined his parents and left the sun room and the hospital, leaving Jeremy, the twins, George, Jeff and Danny, and Pete.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Chicago, Illinois

  “May I talk to you . . . all of you?” George asked.

  Jeremy said, “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

  “Can we sit down?” George asked.

  Billy helped George onto a harder, wooden chair, because it would be easier for him with his bruised ribs. Jeremy and Jeff wore a look of concern evidenced by their wrinkled brows. Danny, Randy and Billy looked at George expectantly.