by Helen Brenna
The love he’d felt for Katherine paled in comparison to what he felt for Natalie. He knew it. He could feel it. When Katherine had asked him for a divorce, he’d been hurt and angry. His heart had cracked that day there was no doubt, but the truth was he’d rather cease to exist than live without Natalie. He was scared, scared of how much he loved her, scared of how much he was going to love their child, scared of falling in love with Toni, Galen, Ryan and Sam. And, ultimately, frightened beyond even his own comprehension of losing them all.
But if he stayed on Mirabelle wouldn’t he lose them anyway?
Reaching for the envelope Toni had given him that last morning, he carefully opened it and extracted a handmade card. On the front, she’d drawn a colorful picture of the tree house with the kids inside, smiling and waving from up high. Two other figures stood next to each other near the base of the tree. The one with the beard was clearly Jamis, and the other with her long and curly yellow hair had to be Natalie. Inside, Toni had written in her childish hand:
My Daddy was a good Daddy. That’s why you remind me of him.
Love, Toni
XOXO
Jamis wiped away the lone tear trickling down his cheek. He had been a good father. He’d tried his best as a husband. He deserved another chance. But how could a man put one foot in front of the other when he’d completely forgotten how to walk?
His phone rang, startling him. When the sound of his agent’s voice on the answering machine registered, Jamis reached across his desk and picked up the call. “Stephen. Hey.”
“Jamis. Holy shit, man. This is the best book you’ve ever written.”
Honestly, he didn’t care. It was out of him. That’s all that mattered.
“The only problem is that it’s nothing like your other books.”
“So?”
“They can deal with it being a week late, but your contract with the publisher calls for another horror story. This is a freaking romance.”
Jamis laughed. “Weird. I know.”
“You don’t happen to have a spare horror story lying around the house, do you?”
“Sorry, no.”
Stephen sighed. “Well, I’ll have to send it to them anyway and we’ll take it from there.”
“Whatever.”
There was a short pause on the line. “Jamis, are you all right?”
“No.” He glanced again at the tree house picture Toni had drawn for him and at the sight of the curly-haired stick figure an ache spread through him. “I did a really, really stupid thing, Stephen.” He set the card on his desk and looked away. “I fell in love.”
Stephen was silent for a moment. “That’s good, isn’t it, Jamis?”
Jamis walked outside and took a deep breath of cold morning air and knew exactly what he had to do. The only question was whether or not Natalie would have him. After almost three months without so much as a phone call, she’d have every right to slam the door in his face. Then there was the not-so-little matter of her most likely fostering four kids. And a baby. His child. The thought of being a father again scared him witless. But he had to try. He closed his eyes and imagined Natalie saying yes. He imagined himself being a loving husband and father. He imagined himself stepping off the shores of Mirabelle.
“Jamis?” Stephen’s voice pulled him back. “I’d like to help.”
“Then find me Natalie Steeger’s address and the quickest way to Minneapolis.”
Stephen chuckled. “How does a helicopter sound?”
“Not fast enough, but it’ll have to do.” He was about to hang up, but had one more thing to say. “Stephen?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For everything you’ve done over the years.”
“I’m glad you’re back amongst the living, my dear friend. It’s about damned time.”
NATALIE PLUGGED IN THE last string of lights on the Christmas tree. Continuing with her family’s tradition of getting a tree on Thanksgiving weekend, she’d taken the kids out that morning. “Okay. It’s all yours.”
With holiday music playing in the background, Ryan, Toni and Sam dug into the ornaments and began hanging their respective favorites. Galen cocked his head. “I’ve never seen that many lights.”
“The more the merrier. As it is with so many things in life.” She grinned, elated that she’d decided to go one step beyond being a foster mom. Social services had just that previous week approved her requests for adopting all four kids. She swung an arm around his shoulder and squeezed, and he surprised her by not pulling away.
“Thanks for taking a chance on me,” Galen said. “I promise I won’t disappoint you.”
As they’d all expected, Galen’s mother had put up a stink over the whole fostering thing, but the moment Galen had turned sixteen and filed a petition requesting emancipation, the woman had huffed out of the courtroom swearing that she’d never take him back. Once he’d joined them at the house, the decision to adopt them all had been a no-brainer for Natalie.
“I’m already proud of you, Galen,” she said. “Be proud of yourself.”
“I’m getting there.”
She smiled, but it was hard to completely disguise the deep sadness in her heart. All the kids understood she missed Jamis, and every change her body went through as a result of the pregnancy only made her miss him all the more.
“You know you don’t need him,” Galen whispered.
“I know.” She only wanted Jamis with an ache as deep as Lake Superior. “Go,” she said. “I’m okay.”
He joined the other three kids hanging ornaments on the tree, and Natalie watched them. There was only one thing that could make this moment more perfect. Her smile slowly disappeared. “Anyone for some cocoa?” she asked, hoping to keep the mood light.
“Yeah!”
“Sounds good.”
“Can we help?” Sam asked.
“No, no,” Natalie said. “That’s one thing I can’t screw up.” Barely stifling the tears, she went into the kitchen. After putting a kettle of water on the stove, she wrapped her arms around her waist and collected herself. If any of the kids saw her like this, it would ruin their nights, especially Galen’s. He’d been so protective of her lately.
The doorbell rang as she was pouring boiling water over cocoa mix into five mugs.
“I got it,” Galen called.
There was a moment of silence, and then the sound of a dog barking, the younger kids screeching with excitement, and then muffled voices that got louder and more vehement with every word.
“I like you, man,” Galen said. “But you need to go away.”
“I get it. I do.”
Jamis. Running into the living room, she stopped at the sight of him standing on the front doorstep with Snickers jumping from one child to the next and wiggling ecstatically.
“Snickers remembers us,” Toni said, grinning.
“How could he ever forget?” Jamis murmured, his tall frame outlined by Christmas lights strung around the entryway. Big, fluffy snowflakes fell slowly in the darkness behind him. Part of Natalie was elated to see him. The other part felt every second of every day of the past three months like pinpricks to her skin.
Galen was blocking his path into the house. A concerned look on her face, Sam was holding hands with Toni and Ryan. Jamis glanced up and his gaze locked with Natalie’s, but his expression was unreadable.
“Galen, it’s okay,” Natalie said. “You guys keep decorating the tree. I’ll go outside.” Grabbing a jacket out of the front closet, she went out into the chilly night air, closing the door behind her. She crossed her arms in front of her. It wasn’t that cold outside, but it gave her hands something to do when all they wanted was to hold him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, glancing quickly at the small bulge in her sweater.
“Good. The morning sickness is completely over.” She tightened her arms around herself. “How are you?”
“Been better. Only one other time I’ve been worse.” He backed up a s
tep, giving her some space. “I’ve discovered I can survive without you, but it’s not very pretty. I guess I did need fixing. I needed you.”
Unable to help herself, she smiled. “Oh, Jamis.”
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come to you. I guess I needed some time to clear my head and figure things out. If you don’t want to see me, I understand.”
“That depends on what you have to say.”
“I know why I want you, Natalie. You brought me back to life. Gave me hope. Make me think anything is possible. Make me feel like a better man than I am. You truly fill each and every one of my days with sunshine.” He paused, reached out but then stopped.
“But?”
“Why in God’s name do you want me?”
“I love you,” she said.
“Why? What could you possibly love about me?”
“Oh, Jamis.” She reached out and caressed his cheek. “I love you because you make me look at the world differently. You made me see myself. You make me laugh and think. You’re caring and passionate. You believe in wishes coming true. And you’re a good cook.” She smiled. “But mostly, your flaws fit remarkably well with mine.”
“You sure? Because a three-month stint isn’t going to be enough for me. I want a helluva lot more from you.”
“I’m sure.” She nodded. “A three-month stint wouldn’t be enough for me, either.”
“Natalie.” He fell to his knees in the snow. “Will you marry me?”
“Are you sure?” she whispered, unable to catch her breath.
“I am.”
“There’s something else you need to know, though. You’ll be getting quite a handful in this bargain.”
“I know. You’re fostering Toni, Ryan, Sam and Galen. I think it’s a great idea.”
“That’s not exactly it,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s more.”
“If you love me half as much as I love you, nothing else will matter.”
“You can be such an ass.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “I love you…more than you could ever imagine. More than you could ever dream. More than you could ever, ever write.”
“Nat—”
“I’m adopting all four of them.”
“Adopting them?” His stunned gaze flew to the window. They were, all four children, looking outside the window. Along with Snickers.
She put a hand low on her sweater and wished she could take it back. She shouldn’t have told him. Not yet. Not like this. If the adoptions cost her Jamis, her heart would break all over again. “It’s all right if you change your mind. I know…I know it’s a lot to take in. You probably didn’t plan on being a father of so many so quickly…”
He looked away, clearly overwhelmed. “I don’t—”
“Oh, Jamis, don’t say it.” She cupped his face in her hands. “You’ll be a wonderful father. A wonderful husband. This baby deserves you. So do those four kids in there. And me. You’re who we want. No one else.”
Could he live up to her image of him? Could he be the man she believed in? What would Caitlin and Justin say?
The image of his daughter swam in front of his eyes. His baby son, chubby and perfect. He’d done his best to never fail them. That was what they’d say. He deserved a second chance to get this family thing right. “I will give you everything I have to give.” He held her face in his hands. “Marry me, Natalie, and I will do the best I can to become the man you think I am.”
“You already are.” She kissed him to the sound of hoots, laughter and whistles coming from inside the house. “The man I’ve been wishing for my entire life.”
“I love you.” He leaned in and returned her kiss.
Snowflakes fell on their cheeks, their lips. They both looked to the window and found all four kids standing just inside the house watching and smiling. Snickers had his front paws on the sill as he stared at Jamis.
“Come on in and help us decorate the tree,” she coaxed. “The only thing this house has been missing is you.”
As she drew him inside her home, her life, Jamis realized even he could never have written a better ending to his story. This was perfect. Thanksgiving. A Christmas tree. Big, fluffy snowflakes falling gently in the night.
Then again, there was always making love on a warm, sunny beach with palm trees blowing in a soft breeze. He smiled inside. No. Those things didn’t matter. Sunshine, rain, clouds, snow, Mirabelle, Minneapolis. As long as Natalie was with him, every scene in Jamis’s life—the good, the bad and the sexy—was going to be absolutely and perfectly…real.
EPILOGUE
“SEAN, EVERETT, Vincent and Gregory!” Natalie pointed to the upstairs boys’ bedroom. “You guys are in that room.”
“Ashley, Kally, Lindsey and Sarita.” Sam spread an arm toward the girls’ bedroom. “You, young ladies, are in here.”
“And you guys, Erin and Matt—” Galen walked to the end of the hall to show the two teenage summer helpers to their respective rooms “—are down here.”
“Cool.”
“I get the top bunk.”
“No, I do.”
“I want the bottom.”
“Well, good for you.”
“I get this dresser.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.”
“I hate pink.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“Don’t touch me.”
“You started it.”
“I did not.”
It was the first day of summer camp and the previously quiet northwest end of Mirabelle Island was bustling with activity. Apparently, mayhem and unbridled energy were the rules of the day. What could be better? Snickers, of course.
He chose that moment to scamper up the steps, race from one room to the next and jump from bed to bed. Kids were screeching and laughing, and the dog was ecstatic to be back on the island. No more fenced-in yards or leashes. He could go where he wanted, when he wanted.
This was going to be a great summer. Maybe Natalie’s best ever. “Okay, kids,” she said to the new campers. “Unpack your stuff. You’ll see I left a fun surprise for each and every one of you on your beds.” New sweatshirts and more. “And then meet me outside in the yard.”
She glanced at Sam and Galen, her oldest daughter and son. She loved thinking of the two teenagers that way. Her son and daughter. “Well,” she said, “what do you guys think?”
Sam grinned. “I’m glad to be back on Mirabelle.”
“Galen?”
“Ten kids this summer? I think you’re nuts.” He shook his head and smiled. “But I’m glad to be a part of it. Even more glad to have graduated to the log cabin this time around.”
Natalie had hired a head camp counselor who would be staying in the Victorian with the camp kids. Natalie, Jamis, Sam, Galen, Ryan and Toni would be living at Jamis’s log cabin. The quarters sometimes felt a little tight, but they were managing.
“Let’s go see what the others are up to.” Natalie hooked her arms through Sam’s and Galen’s and tugged them down the stairs and out into the yard.
The sight that greeted her the moment she stepped onto her grandmother’s back porch made her heart flutter. Holding a little pink bundle, Jamis sat on one of the swings of the play equipment he’d built when they’d first arrived back on Mirabelle last week. He was busy gazing into the face of their baby, rocking her gently and nuzzling her cheek. Toni and Ryan were hanging out in the tree house tower high above Jamis’s head.
Jamis glanced up as they stepped out into the yard. “What’s going on up there, World War Three?”
“Isn’t it great?” Natalie smiled. “They’re settling in well.”
“Oh, goodie,” he murmured.
Galen laughed and held out his arms for the baby. “Can I have her?”
Reluctantly, Jamis handed her over.
She fussed a bit with all the jostling. “Shh, Anna, shh,” Galen whispered in his sister’s ear and patted her back.
“I get her next,” Sam said.
�
�Then me!” Toni called.
“And me,” Ryan added.
Natalie held back tears of complete and unadulterated joy as Jamis wrapped his arm around her shoulder. They’d been married since early December, and she couldn’t imagine a day without him. “I love you,” she whispered into his neck.
“I love you, too.” He rested his forehead against hers. “But you need to quit avoiding the discussion about how many babies we’re going to have.”
“Shoulda gotten that firmed up before you said I do.” She chuckled. “Coulda used it as the fatal flaw.”
“Need I remind you, Sunshine, the log cabin has only three bedrooms?”
“Well, then, it’s a good thing you’re so handy with tools.”
He sighed and glanced at their kids, his family. “Your mother is something, you know that?”
“Yeah,” Sam said with a smile. “We know.”
Anna started crying and Galen handed her over to Natalie. She brought her daughter up close and kissed her soft cheek. “Shh, Anna.” She glanced up and caught her husband watching her, the look in his eyes filled with so much love, Natalie felt as if she might burst. Her husband.
He sighed contentedly. “I gotta get to work.”
He was writing so much these days that chances are the words wouldn’t fly off his fingertips quickly enough. His last book had placed third on the New York Times bestseller list and had hung in the top ten for four months. They were expecting his romance due to be released any day now to do even better.
“What are you writing this time?” she asked.
“Could be a romance. Or a horror story.” He grinned, that sardonic twist of his lips that had captured her heart. “I’m not sure yet.”
The new camp kids came running out the back door of the house and into the yard, yelling, laughing and jostling one another. Jamis took one look at them and pulled a set of earplugs out of his pocket. After brushing Natalie’s cheek with his fingertips, he headed toward the log cabin.
