Bonds That Blind (Daughters of Anubis)

by Kelli Kimble

  “I wouldn’t want to impose,” Mother said.

  “It isn’t an imposition at all. I would be delighted for you to come to dinner.”

  “We’d be happy to join you,” Daddy said. I could almost hear the relief in his voice. They must barely have enough money left to get to Florida.

  “Six sharp, then. I hope you like lamb?”

  * * *

  In the library, I managed to get a moment alone with Mother. Daddy had been drawn aside by the librarian, who was regaling him with the architectural history of the building while Mother and I slipped outside.

  “Mother, do you really have to go away for so long?” I asked. I hated the way I sounded: dependent and whiny.

  “Iris. You know we’re out of money.”

  “You could go somewhere else. There have to be jobs somewhere.”

  “There are, sweetheart.” She reached over and tucked an errant wisp of hair behind my ear. “We would need money to get there and set up a household. We simply don’t have it. Mr. Anu has been so generous. We can’t ever repay what he’s given us.”

  “But?”

  She nodded. “In accepting his generosity, we’ve allowed ourselves to become dependent. The only way out of this dependency is for us to do this. We’ll be able to save the money he’s paying us and when the year is up everything will right itself.” She smiled. “Hmm?”

  “I have some money,” I said. “You could find an apartment somewhere with that. Maybe in Shelby.”

  She sighed. “It isn’t just the money, Iris. We need to get away. We’ve been subject to this silent judgment from the locals.” Her hands clenched into a claw shape and she closed her eyes. “Do you know how long it’s been since I went to town? Your father has been threatened numerous times, and Sheriff Stone ignores all of our reports.”

  “That bastard,” I said, momentarily forgetting that my mother could hear me.

  “Iris,” she said. “Such language. I won’t put up with that kind of thing, young lady.”

  “What kind of thing?” Daddy came between us and putting a hand firmly on my back as he guided us away.

  “Nothing,” Mother said. “I was just telling Iris about how I heard a woman at the gas station speaking like the devil possessed her.”

  “Oh. Strange, I didn’t notice anything like that. But you could learn from that example, Iris. A lady never behaves like the devil possessed.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  * * *

  Daddy shoved their only suitcase into the back seat. The trunk of the car was crammed full of the crates that they’d be sending overseas ahead of them, once they reached the port of Miami. After the fire last year, we’d had little time to build up much in the way of possessions. I felt a small twinge of guilt when I thought about how much more I had brought with me to school.

  “Now, Mr. Anu knows how to contact us. And I’ll write you every week. You’ll write us, too?” Mother was kneading my shoulders like I was tomorrow morning’s breakfast rolls.

  “Of course,” I said.

  “Don’t forget that you have your annual doctor’s visit coming up. Oh, and while you’re there, you might ask for a copy of your immunization records. You’ll need those, and we lost them in the fire. What else?” She questioned as she spun around and dug into Daddy. “Oh, Clark. We can’t just go off like this. What about her birth certificate?”

  “What about it? She’s an adult.” Daddy winked at me over Mother’s head. A tinge of sadness tugged at the corners of his mouth, too. Was he sad to be leaving me, or sad that I’d become an adult?

  “There’s just so much we haven’t prepared her for.”

  “Betty. We’ve talked about this. You were excited for this. Iris is a grown young woman, and anything she can’t handle, she’ll have plenty of people to help. Tessa, Anu, even Professor Cane are watching out for her.”

  Mother’s chin quivered and she pressed a handkerchief to her mouth. When she’d regained her composure, she looked to me. “Are you sure you don’t need us here?”

  I wasn’t sure. But it was clear this was the only path they could take. “Mother, if anyone deserves a trip to Paris, it’s you. I’ll miss you. Both of you. But I’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, Iris.” She hugged me. I breathed in the floral scent of her hand lotion, and the setting cream in her hair. Professor Cane hadn’t served mimosas with breakfast this morning, but I wondered if she’d found her way into some. It wasn’t like her to cling to me. Tipsy or not, I was going to absorb every second of her attention.

  “Betty, I’d like to say goodbye, too,” Daddy said.

  Mother stepped away, again bringing her handkerchief to her face. I was glad Professor Cane had said his farewells inside. Daddy hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “You’ll always be my little Cinnamon Bun,” he said.

  “And your Cupcake, too?”

  “That, too.” He squeezed me a little bit harder. “You stay out of trouble, understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I don’t want to hear about bad grades or wild parties or being fast with boys or any such nonsense. You’re here for an education. Anu is paying for that. And that’s what you’re going to get.”

  “Daddy. I’ll be okay.”

  “I know.” He pulled away and tweaked my cheek. Then he climbed into the car. Mother was already in the passenger seat. She waved her handkerchief at me, then brought it back to her face.

  “I love you,” I called out as the car began to move from the curb.

  Daddy honked the horn and it echoed into the corners of the neighborhood. I waved until they turned out of sight and walked home to my empty dorm room.

  Chapter 5

  “Kal! I’m so glad to see you,” I opened my door wider so that he could come inside. I looked behind him, noticing he came alone. “Where’s Jacob?”

  “Don’t worry. I didn’t forget your little lover boy. We’ll pick him up next. I just wanted a little time to chat with you, just me and you. You know. Bonding.”

  “Bonding.”

  He looked away. “You still haven’t done anything with this room.” He strolled around and went to the window. I’d hung a sheet over it for privacy. It was all that I had. He pulled it back to look outside.

  I sighed. It was clear he wasn’t going to tell me what was on his mind until he was ready.

  “I’m glad to see you,” I repeated. “I’ve been bored stiff in these orientation classes. And even though the humans are mostly neutral so far, I’ve got to admit I’m having a hard time feeling like I can trust any of them.”

  He gave me a sharp look. “You can’t.”

  “That’s interesting, coming from someone who flirts with every human he comes across,” I said, laughing.

  He wasn’t joking. “That’s not funny.”

  My laughter faded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was only kidding around.”

  His expression softened. “Do you have your things?”

  I nodded towards a suitcase on the bed. He picked it up.

  “Let’s go.”

  My roommate would be here Monday afternoon when I returned. I checked one last time to make sure I’d left everything tidy and welcoming. I’d left her a note on her dresser. I hoped she wouldn’t be upset that I wasn’t here to show her around.

  Kal was driving his own car today, a beat up Plymouth sedan with faded paint that probably used to be blue. It was far more comfortable than Mr. Anu’s truck, even though the seat was covered with a blanket because the upholstery was torn. The car rumbled and backfired, causing me to flinch and look around for witnesses. Kal laughed but abruptly stopped.

  “I wanted to tell you something before we picked up Jacob,” he said. He kept his eyes on the road.

  “Okay.”

  “Things at my apprenticeship were going a little rough.” He dragged one hand through his mess of hair, keeping the other hand draped over the top of the steering wheel. “I never noticed until we met Mr. Anu, but I’m
different from the other guys on the crew.” He pulled his hand out of his hair, causing a tuft near the front to stand straight up. “You know. Because they’re human.”

  “Oh,” I said. I felt like I should offer some words of comfort, but nothing came. It was difficult to imagine that someone as friendly and easygoing as Kal would have a problem, even with humans. He continued.

  “I had a contract to be an apprentice. I thought I couldn’t quit, so I was just suffering through it. But a few weeks back, another guy in my crew left. And since then I’ve been casting around, looking for something else to take up. And I finally found it.”

  “That’s terrific,” I said. “What, then?” I tried to think of things he would be good at. Maybe a fireman? He certainly was strong enough.

  “I joined the Army.”

  My mouth went dry. “You what?”

  “I joined the Army.” He saluted towards the road. “Private Cucciolo reporting for pickup, ma’am.”

  “Kal,” my heart sank. “You didn’t.”

  “I thought you of all people would be happy for me.” His voice was laced with bitterness.

  “But the army? How would that help?”

  “Tessa’s always going on about how I lack discipline. What better way to build it?”

  I frowned. “There has to be other ways for you to improve on that. Ways that don’t involve you signing away years of your life. And what about Vietnam? You could die over there.”

  “I know this is hard for everyone to understand. But I’ve got to do this. I need to break out on my own, become a man. I love Tessa and I’m grateful for her taking care of me and Jacob. But she wasn’t a father.”

  “She wasn’t your mother, either.”

  “Not biologically, no. She stepped up and put her own life on hold to make sure we stayed together as a family. Maybe she’s not my mom in reality. But she’s my mother in my heart.”

  I stared at his profile. His hair had been cut shorter, and his face was clean-shaven. He was already adjusting himself to fit into the Army. A little part of my heart broke away. I’d known him only a year, but Kal had been like the big brother I’d always wanted from the moment I met him.

  “Is there nothing that will change your mind?”

  He clenched his jaw. “No. And it’s too late to change it, anyway. Basic training starts in three weeks.”

  I couldn’t think of what to say. Tessa must be out of her mind with worry. And what if he was deployed somewhere dangerous and died?

  He broke into my thoughts. “I’ve been feeling restless. I never cared before about seeing the world, but now I feel this urge to get out of Salvation. And before you say it, just moving out of Anu’s place isn’t enough. I want to go somewhere where nobody knows me and find my way. I want to carve out my own place."

  “You don’t have to join the army to do that.”

  He gave me a sideways glance before returning his eyes to the road. We passed a sign for Lowry University. We were getting close. “I went to the library and looked up wolf packs,” he said. “In some species, the lone wolf leaves the pack to find another, or establish their own. That’s how I feel. I feel like I’ve already become the lone wolf. Anu keeps saying that I have time, but I think it’s already done.”

  I sighed and looked out the window. “This pack hierarchy thing is just bologna. We’re half human. Human beings don’t do it. Maybe we don’t do it, either.”

  “Wake up, Iris.” He banged a fist on the steering wheel. I flinched. “How do you think Anu knows so much about our behavior? He’s lived this a hundred, heck maybe even a thousand times. He knows what to expect and when because he’s seen it all before. This is nothing new to him.”

  I sat still, letting that wash over me. Mr. Anu had led me to believe that I was special, that Jacob and I together were the two he needed to regain his position as a god. But what if I was just another version of what he needed? Would there be another Iris after me? I chewed on my lip and looked out the window.

  We had arrived on campus. We passed by a row of fraternity and sorority houses, while on the other side of the street there were buildings that looked like dormitories. Kal turned into a parking lot in front of a large building built from pale yellow bricks and parked in a visitor’s spot. I craned my neck to look up at the side of the building. It was four or five stories tall, with large rectangular windows. Some of the windows had plants or curtains over them. The first floor windows had giant white letters spelling out, ‘Welcome Freshmen’, though the ‘l’ was missing.

  Kal turned off the engine but didn’t move. “Listen. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

  “Apology accepted,” I said. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t seem more supportive of your decision. I’m happy for you if that’s what you want. I’ll just miss you, is all.”

  “But you’re off at school, taking on the world. There’s nothing to miss.”

  For the first time, I looked at the situation through Kal’s eyes. Jacob and I had left him behind at Mr. Anu’s. Tessa was there, sure. But she was an authority figure to Kal, as was Mr. Anu. He was isolated at the farm except for the job that he apprenticed at, which apparently hadn’t been going well. I wished that I’d paid more attention . . . or been more sympathetic, or . . . I only knew that I’d somehow failed him.

  “You look like a kid who just had the ice cream fall off their ice cream cone,” he said, giving me a playful punch in the shoulder.

  I opened my mouth to tell him that I was sorry for leaving him behind. Something in his expression stopped me. “Let’s go find your brother. He’s probably wondering where you are.”

  “That little putz. He can wonder all he wants. I get there when I get there.”

  We laughed and got out of the car. Here the security was more formal than at Garfield. We put our name in at a reception desk and they phoned up to Jacob’s floor to tell him we were waiting. The student manning the desk directed us to a waiting area. We walked over but when I saw the state of the upholstery – it looked like cats dipped in honey had been fighting on the furniture – I remained standing. Kal stretched himself out on one of the chairs.

  “Hey, Jacob knows about this, right?”

  Someone put their hands over my eyes from behind. “Jacob knows about what? And guess who?”

  My heart jumped up my throat. If I hadn’t recognized his scent, I would’ve elbowed him in the gut. But the adrenaline quickly converted to excitement.

  “Jacob,” I said, turning to face him. I threw my arms around him, grateful for the comfort of his presence. He squeezed me back.

  “This is a surprise. I thought you were picking me up first,” he said to Kal, over my shoulder.

  “I wanted to tell her the news.”

  Jacob stiffened and pulled away. “I hope she convinced you of what a terrible idea it is.”

  Kal popped up. “You got your stuff?”

  “It’s upstairs.”

  “You two go get it,” he said as he stuffed his hands in his pants pockets and pushed past us. “I’ll wait in the car. Don’t be long, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer, he was already at the exit.

  “Come on,” he clasped my hand. “I’ll show you my room.”

  “Can I meet your roommate?”

  He grinned; his expression predatory. “He’s not here right now.”

  “Oh.” Heat flushed up my neck. I knew Mother and Daddy wouldn’t approve of me being alone in his room with him, but they were probably in Florida by now. He opened the door to a room only slightly larger than mine, though much nicer. The floor was carpeted, the windows had actual curtains, and the beds didn’t look ancient.

  “This side is mine.” He pointed to one side. He guided me into the room and closed the door. “I’ve been waiting to be alone with you.” He leaned in for a kiss, but the sound of a toilet flushing interrupted him.

  “Sinclair! We talked about closing the door.” Jacob stalked over to what I’d assumed was a closet and slam
med the door shut. “What a slob. I hate sharing a bathroom with that guy.”

  He reached for me again, but I held up a hand. “We should talk about Kal,” I said.

  “What about him? He’s in the car. He’s giving us this time on purpose.” He tried to pull me closer, but I resisted.

  “Jacob, your brother is really upset. Why do you think he picked me up first? He just wanted someone to listen to him.”

  “And you were the person to listen to him?”

  “You know it’s not like that. He feels like nobody is supporting his decision.”

  “That’s because it’s a stupid decision! He’s not going to meet any Anubian women in the Army. What could he possibly have been thinking?”

  This time I pulled him to me. “He’s thinking that he’s the lone wolf. He’s thinking it’s how he’s going to find his place in the world.” I nuzzled in close and inhaled his scent. It was the perfect smell; a balance of his aftershave, the tang of the outdoors, and Anubian. “He needs your support.”

  “Yeah? And if I support him, then what?”

  I whispered into his ear. “Then you’ll be a good, admirable brother.”

  “Yeah?”

  I answered him with kisses.

  Chapter 6

  The farm didn’t feel like home with my parents gone. I felt rudderless and unsupervised even though Tessa and Mr. Anu were there. Tessa asked me more than once if I was all right. I was, I just felt lost. I’d taken up sneaking into Mr. Anu’s office and sitting on the floor with my back against his desk so that I could look out the picture window. I knew it was a childish thing to do, but it was a good place to clear my mind— and get away from everyone. It almost seemed as if there was too much activity for me to tolerate on the farm. I’d gotten used to the stillness of the empty dorm building.

  When I return on Monday it won’t be empty anymore.

  I was hiding there, staring at a bird in the tree outside the window, when someone came into the room.

  There were soft steps on the carpet and the door closed with a gentle snick as the latch caught. Mr. Anu’s dominating scent overwhelmed me and was followed by Tessa’s more subtle tones. My chest constricted. I didn’t want anyone to discover where I’d been escaping to. I pressed my back tighter against the desk and hoped that they’d stay on the other side.