If Only We Knew

by Ancelli

  “Who? What?” She smiled. “That’s not important right now. Tell me what happened.”

  He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed play.

  She gasped, looking at the video. “Oh my God, Matt.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m so sorry,” she said, stopping the recording.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me. It really doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. What angers me is that she’s been sleeping with my mom’s accountant for four years.” His hand balled into a fist.

  “Four years?”

  “Yes, four fucking years. I’ve known her for over two years, so that means she’s played me since the day I met her, and she has the nerve to judge me for what happened between us once, when she’s been having an affair the entire time.” He trailed his fingers in the sand.

  “What did you do, Matt?” She stroked his hand. “Did you hurt him?”

  “I did nothing. They were so into fucking they didn’t see me watching them. She thinks she played me, but she’s in for a big surprise. I called my lawyer on the way here and told him to draw up the divorce papers. Don’t get me wrong. I would’ve forgiven her if it was once, but knowing what I know, I can’t.” He took his shoes off, and when he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, “Was the baby even mine?”

  “I’m sorry she did this to you. You don’t deserve this. You’re everything a woman is looking for in a man. You’re strong, patient, forgiving, handsome—” she smiled “—and a wonderful father. You gave her everything. She didn’t even have to lift a finger.” She moved closer to him, and gave him a hug.

  He hugged her back. “Am I everything you’re looking for?” he whispered, pulling away.

  “Matt, you’re hurt. You’re not thinking straight.”

  He caressed her face with his fingers. “For the first time in months, I’m thinking straight. Shannon, you never wanted to talk about what happened between us that night, but that night everything changed. I don’t know when it happened, if it was that night or before, but I have feelings for you. I’ve tried to ignore them.” He paused. “I was coming home with my mind made up to resign to my feelings for you and tell Karen I wanted a divorce. My decision didn’t have anything to do with my feelings for you; she and I have just grown apart. I got home and saw what I did, but you know what made me know my feeling for you went deeper than I thought? When seeing you making out with David hurt more than seeing my wife fucking someone else.” He gazed into her eyes. “Shannon, if you tell me you have no feelings for me, I’ll never bring it up again.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered, putting her hands over his. He pulled her closer and commenced kissing her.

  “I missed your soft, juicy lips,” he said between kisses.

  She pressed her hand against his chest and pushed back. “What you’re feeling might just be because I’m the mother of your son.”

  He gently cupped her face with his large hands and whispered, “I had feelings for you before you had my son. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but when you gave birth to our son, they got stronger.”

  “We shouldn’t act on our feelings because if it ends badly, it will affect Matthew,” she whispered.

  “This will be good for him, having his mom and dad together.” He gently pulled away from her. “We can take it slow because you’re who I want.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Are you sure you’re just not saying this because it’s over between you and Karen? I don’t want to be your rebound.”

  He wiped her tears. “I stayed with her out of obligation. You’re not my rebound. If anything, she was.”

  “What if you hadn’t caught her?”

  “I’ve always been honest with you. If I hadn’t caught her, I would’ve still asked her for a divorce. I married her out of obligation, not love. My heart would’ve been elsewhere. I would’ve loved you in silence, like I have been.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I’m in love with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “Shannon, you told me you didn’t want what I wanted in life, but now we have what we both wanted. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

  “I didn’t know what I wanted until I got it. I don’t want slow, Matt. I want now.” He looked confused at what she was saying. “I mean, I’m horny. I haven’t had sex since we conceived Matthew.”

  He laughed. “You haven’t been with any one since?” She shook her head. “Right here, right now?”

  “Yes, why not? Look at that beautiful sunset.” She looked around. “No one’s here but you and me.” She got up and straddled his lap. She passionately kissed him, trying to taste every corner of his mouth. “Mmm.”

  He lay, pulling her with him. He pulled her sundress under her breast and rubbed her nipples with his fingertips. Leaning away, he licked and sucked on her nipples. “Mmm, they still taste good,” he said. He rolled her over. He lifted her dress. She arched up as he took off her panties, throwing them to the side. “Shannon, you’re beautiful.” He kissed her navel, settling between her legs and taking off his shirt. He pressed his thumb on her clit, and then he plunged two fingers into her pussy. “Damn, mami, you’re so tight.” He moved his fingers in and out of her, making her wetter. He bent down and kissed her clit, licking her pussy from front to back. “Que rica sabes,” he whispered.

  Shannon grabbed his hair, pushing him closer to her pussy. “Yes, yes, papi,” she moaned.

  Matt continued to eat her out while plunging his fingers deep at the same time. She began shaking, her sign to him that she was about to explode.

  “I’m coming! Oh God, yes!” she yelled in ecstasy.

  Matt licked her juices. “I found my honey.” He kissed his way up to her lips. “You taste divine.” He smiled up at her. “You’re still shaking, mami.”

  She opened her eyes. “Only you affect me like this.” She pulled him into another deep kiss. “I want to taste you.”

  “Next time. I need to be inside you, now. It’s been too long.” He wrestled with his slacks and boxers taking them off. He settled between her legs again. Grabbing his cock, he was about to rub her pussy, and stopped. “I don’t have a rubber.” His breath hitched as he saw the desire in her eyes.

  “Pull out.” She tried to grab his cock from him, but he wouldn’t let her. “Did you change your mind?”

  He leaned up on his elbows. “No, I haven’t changed my mind.” He moved a strand of hair out her face. “I want you so bad.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” She asked arching her brow looking at him confused.

  “Karen.” Her smile vanished as she tried to get from underneath him, but he wouldn’t let her, knowing she’d misunderstood him. “Mami, she was cheating on me. I didn’t use protection with her because she was my wife. I don’t want to put your health in jeopardy.”

  Her smile came back. She trailed his lips with her index finger and gazed into his eyes. “I love you.” She pulled him down and passionately kissed him, taking his breath away. She gently pulled away, catching her breath. “I have condoms.” She smiled. “Let me go get one out of my purse.”

  He just smiled, as she hurried to her car. She ran back and sat next to him, tearing the wrapper off the condom. She sat and took his cock in her hand, stroking it as she covered it with the condom. He climbed over her, and nipped on her lower lip. She pushed his cock in her waiting pussy, inch by inch.

  “Oh, Matt.” She gasped, not moving.

  “Damn.” He moved slowly, letting her body get accustomed to his size.

  “Yes….” Her voice trembled. “Don’t stop.” She wrapped her legs around his ass.

  He began thrusting into her, slow and deep. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight,” he whispered, kissing her neck. “I’ve wanted…to make love to you…again,” he groaned through his teeth.

  She moved her hips, matching his thrusts. “Matt, look at me,” she said, moaning. He stared at her with love, passion, and
desire in his eyes. “Te amo.”

  He gazed into her eyes and gave her long strokes. “I love you too.” He rolled them over, grabbing her ass. “Te amo, mami.”

  Shannon straddled him, and rotated her hips, bouncing up and down. “I’m yours!” she screamed in pleasure. He fingered her clit and she shook. “I’m coming, papi.” Her moaning got louder. “Yes, yes, yes!”

  “I’m coming with you,” he said between groans. He plunged into her faster and harder. She fell on his chest, and he continued fucking her uncontrollably. They both burst into ecstasy. “You’re…mine.” He tugged her hair, still feeling the aftereffects. “Damn, girl, I think I stopped breathing for a moment,” he said, kissing her.

  “That was amazing.” She pushed up on his chest.

  “Next time I’ll last longer.” He said caressing her lips..

  “That was more than enough for me.” She kissed him.

  They both caught their breath and began getting dressed, dusting off the sand. “Let’s go get our son.”

  He took her hand, and they walked to their vehicles. He opened her car door, letting her get in. “I love you. It feels so good to finally say it.”

  “Say it in Spanish. It sounds sexy.”

  “Te amo.” He kissed her through the window. “Te amo mucho, Mamita.”

  She kissed him back. “I love you too, Matt.”

  “No matter what happens next, I will remember today.” He stood straight. “I’ll follow you home.” He walked over to his car, started it, and waited for Shannon to pull up in front of him.

  They drove down the boulevard, stopping at a stoplight, and Matt blew her a kiss, and she smiled back. Their light turned green, and she pulled off. He could tell she didn’t notice the truck on her left side, still coming toward her, because she didn’t speed up or swerve. With no other option, Matt accelerated and hit her car from behind, making sure the out-of-control truck couldn’t nail hers.

  ***

  The impact of his car hitting hers made her bump her head on her steering wheel. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Shannon looked over to her right and could see Matt’s SUV. It had gotten struck on the side by the truck. From the driver’s side, it looked totaled. She put her car in park and ran out to Matt. When she got closer, she could see his face covered in blood.

  He unhooked his seat belt and crawled out. He was badly hurt, bleeding from his head. She got down on her knees. “Matt, please don’t close your eyes. I’m here, baby,” she said, trying to wipe the blood off his face with her dress.

  One of the witnesses got out of his car and called 911. She could overhear him describing how Matt had sped up and hit her car to save her from the impact from the truck. Matt had saved her. She caressed his face. You got hurt because of me; you saved me. “Matt, they called 911. They’re on their way.” She cried while holding his hand, trying not to move him. The truck driver just stood in shock, saying he was sorry.

  “Shannon.” His voice was weak. “Te amo.” He blinked several times. She wasn’t sure he could see her.

  “Matt, open your eyes.” The sirens were closing in. She whispered into his ear. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

  The paramedics came over and moved her out the way. From that point on, everything happened so fast. Before she knew it, they were at the hospital. She called Andrew and their father to let them know what had happened and which hospital they’d taken him to. She also called her sister to go get Matthew from her parents’ house.

  Andrew was the first one to arrive. He ran to Shannon and hugged her, even though she was covered in blood. “What happened?”

  “The other driver was texting and didn’t notice when the light turned red and drove into Matt’s car. Matt is in surgery right now. I overheard them say he’s lost a lot of blood, he has three broken ribs that caused his lung to collapse. . And a head injury and a broken leg, but since I’m not family, they won’t tell me anything more.”

  Andrew hugged her tighter. “I’ll fix that.” He went over to the counter and spoke to the nurses. After a few minutes, he came back. “You’re now family.”

  His dad ran into the emergency room. “Dad!” Andrew yelled.

  “Where is he? ¿Dónde está?”

  “He’s in surgery, Dad. It doesn’t look good.” He hugged his father, breaking down in tears telling his dad what had taken place to land Matt in the hospital.

  “God, not again,” Mr. Johnston whispered. “Did someone call Karen?” His father looked over at Shannon.

  “No. He wouldn’t want her here.” Shannon sat down.

  “I called her, and she’s on her way. Why wouldn’t he want her here?” Andrew sat next to her.

  “Your brother will have to tell you, Andrew.” She stood up, waiting to hear about Matt.

  Matt’s mother and Karen came into the emergency room together. “What is she doing here?” Karen asked Andrew, angrily staring at Shannon.

  “Look, Karen, this is not the place or the time to start any shit with her. You should be asking about your husband.”

  “Who called her?” Karen demanded to know, but he ignored her, walking away.

  Matt’s mom went over to his dad. “How’s my son doing? What happened?”

  “He’s in surgery, all because a fucking person couldn’t wait to text,” his dad answered, moving away from her.

  “Finally you fucking care how he’s doing? Where were you all those years he needed you?” Andrew yelled at his mother.

  “Andrew, show some respect. She is still your mother,” his father said.

  “She never acted like a mother.” He spoke to his father.

  Their mother just watched him with tears falling from her eyes. “I’m sorry, but the both of you were better off without me,” she said backing away.

  Shannon went over to his mother and hugged her. “I know you love him,” she whispered. His mother just cried in her arms.

  The doctor came out and asked for Mr. Johnston’s family. They all got up and headed to the doctor except for Shannon. She didn’t want to cause any problems. Andrew gave the doctor a stern nod in her direction, and catching on right away, he spoke loud enough for her to hear.

  “We haven’t performed surgery on him because we need him to be stable. As soon as we think he’s strong enough, we will go into surgery,” he said. “Who’s Shannon?” the doctor asked. Everyone turned and looked at her, sitting in the chair.

  The doctor walked over to her. “Shannon, Mr. Johnston is requesting to see you. Can you please come this way?”

  Shannon got up and followed the doctor.

  “Wait, why is she going in to see him?” Karen demanded to know. “I’m his wife.”

  The doctor turned and answered. “Its simple, ma’am. She is the one he asked for.” He turned and continued.

  “Shannon, please tell my brother I love him,” Andrew said sadly.

  “I will, Andrew.”

  She entered the pre-op room. He was hooked up to machines.

  “Shannon.” He lifted his hand.

  She grabbed it. “Yes, Matt?” She sat down in the chair a nurse brought her.

  “Shannon, tell Matthew…that Daddy loves him, tell him he…is the love of my life,” he said between breaths.

  “Matt, stop talking like you’re saying goodbye. You can’t leave us now.” She held back the tears, trying to be strong for him. “Why did you do it? They said he was going hit me.”

  “Because I will give…my life for you….” He tried to lift his hands to wipe the tear that escaped her eyes, but he was too weak. “Shannon, the last hours…with you made…me the happiest man in the world.” He paused, catching his breath. “If I die tonight…I’ll die with a smile…remembering what we shared. I love you, mami.”

  “Remember earlier when I said I’ve already met my soul mate?” She sighed. “It’s you. I should’ve compromised.” Shannon was rewarded with a brilliant smile. “You need to be strong for everyone who loves you.” She squeez
ed his hand. “Andrew and your dad said to tell you they love you.”

  “Thank my dad…for always putting us first, and tell Andrew I couldn’t have asked for a better big brother.... Let him know he was right. Tell them I love them.” He closed and opened his eyes.

  “Your mom and Karen are also in the waiting room.” His heart monitor started beeping more rapidly.

  “Give my…brother my cell …phone, he’ll know what to do.”

  “Okay.”

  “Kiss…me,” he said, having a hard time breathing.

  She got up, leaned down, and gently kissed him. The machine went off, and the nurses told her she needed to leave. They began CPR, which made her own heart pound painfully in her throat. She heard them say they couldn’t wait any longer and they rushed him to the OR.

  She came out to the waiting area, crying. Andrew ran up to her. “What happened?”

  “They couldn’t wait any longer. They took him in for surgery. He stopped breathing, so they had to perform CPR,” she cried.

  Andrew hugged her. “My brother is strong. He’ll fight.”

  “Who gave them the right to revive him?” Karen asked. “I’m his wife. I’m the only one that should be making those decisions,” she said, looking at Shannon.

  “I don’t care who makes the decisions, just as long as it’s to save my son’s life.” His dad glared at Karen.

  Shannon pulled Andrew to the side. “Matt said to tell you he couldn’t have asked for a better big brother, that you were right, and that he loves you. He also told me to tell you to get his phone, that you’ll know what to do.”

  “Okay.” Andrew went to the nurses’ station and asked for Matt’s belongings. They handed him a plastic bag. He went through the bag, taking out the cell phone and handing the bag back to the nurse. He went outside.

  Shannon walked over to Mr. Johnston, hugged him, and whispered, “Matt said thank you for always putting him first and he loves you.”

  He squeezed her tight. “Thank you.”

  Karen went up to the nurses’ station and told them they weren’t allowed to make any medical decisions about Matt without discussing it with her first and that Shannon would not be allowed to see him.