Hopeful Hearts at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  Rory hung up then, saving me from responding to Beth. ‘Angus has fixed the fence. He said he found a pair of pliers missing from the barn. They were thrown under a bush nearby,’ he said, locking eyes with me. ‘He thinks someone cut the fence deliberately.’

  ‘I told you there wasn’t a hole there last night,’ I said, relieved I hadn’t caused our power cut after all. But that relief was short-lived. Because I realised what that meant – someone had come to the farm to deliberately sabotage us. And that made me feel incredibly uneasy.

  ‘Who would do that though?’ Drew asked his brother.

  Rory shrugged. ‘No idea,’ he replied, draining his beer dry. ‘But I will find out.’

  * * *

  It was disconcerting to arrive home to the farm and see it completely in darkness. The only light flickered from Angus’s cottage either from his log fire or candles, or both, as I carried a sleeping Harry inside the farmhouse.

  Rory went into the kitchen, and Dad followed me up the stairs as I took Harry up to his room, walking slowly, my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. Dad slipped into his room as I carried Harry into his cot. It was eerie here, no light to help from lampposts or cars, just the stars in the cold, clear sky, and the silvery light from the moon to allow me to see enough through Harry’s window to place him down to sleep.

  I left the curtains open as he couldn’t have his usual night light on and watched as he slept peacefully, no idea that anything was out of the ordinary. I wondered what he was dreaming about. When I was pregnant I used to dream that I had lost my baby. I didn’t even know what they would look like or if they would be a boy or a girl, but I was still worried about losing them. Working with Stewart would mean I couldn’t be with Harry like I was now, and did I really want to be away from him every day? Then again, so many women worked, it wasn’t like it was unusual to work away from home. Why did I feel then like I would be letting him down if I did accept Stewart’s offer?

  Slipping out of his room softly, I glanced at Dad’s open door, and hovered in the doorway. ‘I should have told you about Stewart,’ I said softly. ‘I was just confused about what to do.’

  ‘You don’t need to tell me anything but I’m always here if you want to,’ Dad replied, coming over to kiss me gently on the forehead. Suddenly, I felt like I might cry. ‘This isn’t a right or wrong answer thing, love, it’s about doing what you want, what will make you happy.’

  ‘At the expense of others though?’ Whatever decision I made, someone would be disappointed.

  ‘No, not at the expense of people you love, and who love you. Those are the people who will always matter, but they will always support you.’ He said goodnight, leaving me thinking he had given me some advice after all, but I wasn’t quite sure what it was yet.

  I went back downstairs thinking, to where Rory was sitting at the kitchen table, a hot drink in front of him, a candle burning on the counter. He gestured to the other mug so I sat down and took a sip of tea, which I was sure wouldn’t do much to take away the cold I currently felt deep within my bones.

  ‘Are you angry with me?’ I asked Rory after a short silence.

  He sighed. ‘No. But I’m confused. I feel like you would have been completely against Hilltop being developed if it had been anyone else doing the developing but Stewart. And that makes me worry, I suppose.’ He met my gaze. ‘I know you’re considering going to work with him but are you considering anything else?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked warily.

  ‘Do you miss him? Have you missed him?’

  I thought for a moment. ‘When I first moved back here and he told me he would be staying in Edinburgh, I was heartbroken. He was my first love. And we had planned a future together. I missed him a lot, especially that first year, and I was grieving for my mother so it was a pretty rubbish time. But I haven’t thought about him for a long time. Him showing up here was a complete bolt from the blue.’

  Rory nodded and was silent for a moment. ‘I think you know that I don’t trust him. It feels convenient to me that the site he finds for his hotel is right next door to his ex-girlfriend. I mean, what are the odds? I think he wants more from you than a working partnership.’

  I bit my lip. Stewart had pretty much told me that but I, of course, hadn’t told Rory. I didn’t want to lie to him though, we had always tried to be honest with one another. ‘He hasn’t moved on like I have.’

  ‘Have you really moved on though? You’re still holding back from me even though we have Harry. I wish I knew why. But I know that I can’t persuade you to want this.’ He gestured around us. ‘You need to choose the life you want, Heth. But I hope you choose us. Maybe we did fall in love really fast, maybe you didn’t plan to be with a farmer or live this life, but I thought we were happy. I love how unexpected it was to fall for you. I just wish you felt the same.’ He got up and I reached for his hand but he stepped back. He looked really hurt and I hated that I had made him feel that way. ‘I know I don’t always tell you how I feel, I’m not like that I suppose, but I thought I had shown you.’

  ‘You have,’ I whispered, my eyes filling up with tears as I wished I could reassure him more but the truth was that Stewart’s appearance had made me question everything, and Rory had realised that too. I didn’t know what to do. And then there were the words Rory wasn’t saying – that he had proposed to me a year ago but I still hadn’t said yes. How could I blame him for being hurt and angry, and confused about how I felt?

  ‘Then I just have to hope you’ll come back to me.’ He reached down and kissed the top of my head before walking out quickly. I watched him go even as I wanted to cry out for him to stay.

  Chapter Twenty

  The following night I had promised Beth I would help out with the festive trail. Although it was free for villagers, and people who had started to come from afar to visit it, they needed someone there each night to make sure everything was okay and to hand out the hot chocolate and mulled wine. Sleet had started up again so we were wrapped up in lots of layers as we positioned ourselves at the entrance to the trail by the table with drinks and sweet treats donated by Emily from the bakery to welcome the visitors. Rory, Dad and Harry were back at the farm without me and I wondered what they were doing. The power was all back on now thankfully but there was definitely a strained atmosphere in the air between Rory and me so it had been a relief that I had already planned to be at Glendale Hall for the evening to be honest.

  ‘Now that we’re alone, do you want to talk?’ Beth asked, handing me a cup of mulled wine as she poured one out for herself too.

  ‘It’s been a crazy week,’ I admitted. ‘Stewart turning up and everything with Hilltop, and then Countryside Watch coming to film. And dealing with the power cut at the farm too… I’m exhausted, to be honest,’ I said, taking a long gulp of my mulled wine.

  ‘You haven’t told me much about Stewart,’ she said, arching an eyebrow curiously.

  When Beth arrived back in Glendale Hall after ten years, we had such a lot to catch up on but what with her burgeoning relationship with Drew, me and Rory getting together, and everything we did to save the High Street the past had been quickly laid to rest. ‘I mean, I didn’t think there was much to say. I thought I’d never see him again. It’s so weird that he’s right here in Glendale. He was my first love. Well, my only love besides Rory.’

  ‘And you were together all through university?’

  ‘We were. I thought he was The One. We had so much fun together, and had our future all mapped out until I had to come home for my mum. I can’t help but think back, you know? When I was with him, I was young and had no responsibilities – it was fun and exciting. He was good-looking and charming, intelligent, and the life and soul of the party.’

  ‘It’s hard not to look back on the past fondly sometimes but I suppose there are reasons why he’s in the past, why you’re not together now,’ she said.

  I nodded. ‘When my mum died, I couldn’t even think about leaving my
dad alone in Glendale. Stewart already had an apprenticeship lined up, he couldn’t see what he’d do here, and I got it to a point. But I was heartbroken. And, it wasn’t all perfect, of course not. I remember how he couldn’t cope when I was worried or anxious…’ I trailed off, wishing thinking about him didn’t make me feel so confused.

  ‘Why has he come back now? After all this time? I mean, he never tried to contact you before now did he?’

  ‘No, not even a Facebook friend request. I think, like me, he thought we were done for good. But then Hilltop came up, and he couldn’t believe it when he found out that I live next door.’

  She thought about that. ‘Are you sure he didn’t know? It’s a huge coincidence, isn’t it?’

  I sighed. ‘You sound like Rory. Why bother lying about it though? If he did know, why not just tell me? Hilltop is a great opportunity, for him I mean, either way.’

  ‘Well, perhaps it would reveal his hand too much. I mean if he chose Hilltop because it’s close to you then you would have known that he was here just for you. You maybe wouldn’t have even thought about working with him then. Your guard would have been up straight away, but this way he’s spent time with you, hasn’t he? Has he mentioned more than working with you?’

  I had to admit that he had. More than once too. ‘He has said that he misses me and regrets what happened between us but he knows I have Rory and Harry, he knew that straight away.’ I felt guilty though that I had told him I found my life on the farm difficult at times. Maybe I had encouraged him more than I meant to. It was hard though not to be honest with him when we’d once been so close.

  ‘Maybe he thinks all is fair in love and war and is prepared to fight for you. The question is whether you want to let him or not. And if it’s a no, can you work together knowing he wants more?’

  ‘I don’t know but if I work with him then I can help protect our farm.’

  ‘It sounds a bit like he’s saying if you don’t work with him then he’ll disregard the farm. Seems a petty thing to imply, don’t you think?’ she raised an eyebrow, clearly full of distrust towards him, just like Rory. But I didn’t know what to think. Beth had done all she could to keep Glendale as it had always been, it was natural she would be suspicious of change. As Stewart pointed out – the whole community here was like that.

  ‘I’m just worried for you guys, and Drew too,’ Beth continued. ‘This will be such a big disruption right on your doorstep. And Rory and Drew promised each other they’d keep the farm going after their parents died so you can understand why they’re freaking out somewhat. Can you really protect the farm even if you do go and work with Stewart, or should we be trying to stop it from happening all together?’ She turned to greet an old lady walking in to the trail then, and I shrunk back, glad of the reprieve. Beth was hard to argue with at the best of times.

  When she returned, my temper had become even more frayed. ‘I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What you all expect me to do,’ I said. ‘This isn’t my project. It will happen with or without my help.’

  She didn’t rise to my anger. ‘Maybe,’ she replied with a shrug. ‘Then again, maybe not.’

  ‘Beth, can you give me a hand?’ John called over then, carrying a set of lights over his shoulder. Beth smiled at me before she went off to help him but I couldn’t quite return it. What had she meant by that?

  ‘Any chance of a mulled wine?’

  I turned to see Stewart walking across the lawn towards the table, hands in his coat pocket, smiling at my surprised expression. ‘What are you doing here?’ I said, relieved he hadn’t arrived in the middle of us talking about him.

  ‘I heard this is Glendale’s best evening entertainment so thought I’d better come and see it for myself.’

  Seeing him made me feel more confused than ever. I had thought the time I had shared with him was long gone but here he was making me question everything.

  Why did part of me want to tell him to leave me alone for good, but another part of me wished he would stay?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I handed Stewart a cup of mulled wine. ‘I help out every year, my best friend Beth is behind all of this. She owns Glendale Hall.’

  ‘Wow,’ Stewart said, looking at the house behind us lit up in all its grand glory. ‘She’s a lucky lady. So, how are things? Is your power back on?’

  ‘It is, thank goodness,’ I replied. ‘And tomorrow they’ll be showing our segment on TV. It was really nerve-wracking being on camera but hopefully, I’ll come across okay. It should be a big boost for the farm.’ I glanced at him, and he nodded once. I decided it was best to move the subject away from the farm. ‘What about you? How long are you staying in Glendale?’ Christmas was fast approaching and I assumed he would want to spend it with his family.

  ‘I need to look at a few more things over at Hilltop, and then I’ll head off to Edinburgh for Christmas. I’ll come back when we hear from the council, hopefully soon in the New Year.’ He crossed his fingers in the air. ‘So, how about you show me this famous trail then? Or are you tied to the mulled wine?’

  ‘I think it’s safe to leave. Beth will be back in a minute,’ I said, coming out from behind the table, eager to have some space from her. ‘I think more snow is on the way,’ I added as we walked into the trail, side-by-side. I could see my breath on the air. The stars above were hidden by the thickening cloud, and a few flurries floated around us. The fairy lights still shone brightly though, lighting our way. A family were in front of us so we slowed our pace.

  ‘As long as I don’t get snowed in in Glendale. I don’t think my parents will be impressed if I miss Christmas.’

  ‘Well, you can always have lunch here with us if you are,’ I said, without thinking.

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure that Rory would be okay with that?’

  I gulped, and looked away. I knew he wouldn’t. ‘Can I ask you something?’ I said, changing the subject.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘What did you think when you found out I lived on Fraser Farm – really?’ I looked up at the icicle lights above us as I waited for him to answer. Everyone seemed to think he had ulterior motives from the start, but I wanted to hear it from him.

  Stewart glanced at me and smiled. ‘I couldn’t believe my luck. I was planning to look you up in Glendale, if you were still here. And I hoped you were when Hilltop came up – I told you, I thought maybe it was a sign.’ He paused and turned to face me so I stopped too. ‘Heather, I want us to work together and if that’s all there ever is between us now, I’ll be fine with that. But I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll be honest – I heard someone in the pub mention you’d be here tonight. Helping out. Sally, I think her name is? And so, I decided to come and see you.’

  I had no idea how to respond. How was I supposed to feel right now? Should I be angry with him for telling me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me, for not respecting my relationship with Rory? Why did I also feel flattered though? Did I want him to think that there was a possibility of a second chance for him and me? I watched him gazing at me and despite these past years with Rory, my stomach did betray me by giving a little flip. I remembered all the times Stewart had held me and kissed me, and it was hard to tell my body to not want that again. My heart and my head were suddenly very much at war.

  ‘Heather, is there any chance for me? For us?’ he asked then as if he could read the confusion on my face. He stepped closer. Too close. We were only inches apart and all around us lights twinkled and sparkled like we were in the middle of a Christmas romance film.

  As if they were willing us on.

  ‘There you are!’

  I jumped back as if I had been burned as Beth rounded the corner and saw us. Stewart frowned as I looked away, the spell between us broken in that moment.

  ‘Oh hi, I’m Beth,’ she said as she approached, looking curiously at Stewart.

  ‘This is Stewart,’ I introduced, feeling flustered. Stewart was trying to catch my ey
e but I couldn’t look at him. He gave Beth a charming smile and they shook hands.

  ‘What do you think of the trail then?’

  ‘I can see why it’s so popular,’ he replied.

  ‘Did you need me for something?’ I asked Beth, wondering why she had been looking for me.

  ‘Just to help me clear the trail. It’s getting really cold, snow is apparently on the way, so I think it’s a good idea to shut it off tonight and cover it in case it turns heavy. Could you check the grotto for me? It was nice to meet you, Stewart,’ she said, waving as she left us again but only I caught the look she gave me as I left. I had no doubt she had seen how close we had been standing together.

  ‘Let’s look at the grotto then and see if anyone is still there,’ I said in a falsely bright voice, trying to cover the sudden awkwardness. The fact that I hadn’t given him an answer to his question before Beth interrupted us, and the fact that I had no idea what my answer would have been, scared me more than I cared to admit.

  ‘So she really owns all this?’ he asked as we walked down the rest of the trail to the grotto tent. The family that had been ahead of us were in there so I explained the trail was closing because of the weather.

  ‘Beth inherited Glendale Hall from her grandmother,’ I explained to Stewart when we were alone in the tent, and turned off the Christmas music.

  ‘If only we all had such grandmothers,’ he joked. ‘How did Rory come to own his farm?’

  ‘His parents died when he was eighteen in a car crash,’ I said quietly. ‘It means the world to him. You won’t threaten his farm, will you? I mean, this resort could really disrupt the farm, the animals will be so close…’ I trailed off, worriedly.

  ‘I said I’d never do anything to hurt you.’ Stewart reached out to brush a stray hair from my face. ‘You call it his farm – not yours.’

  ‘Well, I suppose it still feels that way sometimes,’ I admitted. ‘I fell head over heels for Rory. What we have was so unexpected, it took me completely by surprise. It’s all been a whirlwind.’