Hopeful Hearts at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  ‘It can only get better from here. Especially with our wedding to look forward to,’ he said, glancing down at the ring on my finger. ‘I still can’t believe you proposed to me. And on the same night, the farm almost burned down.’ He shook his head.

  ‘We don’t do things by halves around here,’ I replied with a laugh.

  ‘I’ll never be bored married to you, that’s for sure. You’ve always kept me on my toes since that first night we spent together. Never change Heather Douglas.’

  ‘I won’t,’ I promised. ‘Even when I become Heather Fraser.’

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Once the Christmas holidays were all over and the decorations had come down, life slowly returned to normality. My dad, however, didn’t move back home as originally planned. I went with him to our old house to collect more things and start sorting through it all. The estate agent had valued it and we’d put it on the market, hoping it wouldn’t be too long as Glendale was a sought-after place to live.

  ‘How are you feeling about leaving here, really?’ I asked after a few minutes of silence as I folded shirts into a suitcase on the floor in the living room while he sorted through the desk. Harry was on the floor beside me playing with his new train set. I had indeed got him far too much for Christmas, he only wanted the train and his lamb toy from Granddad. I looked around the room. Everything was the same as it had been while my mum was alive, Dad hadn’t changed anything and I knew he must be thinking of her as I always did when I came back here.

  ‘I think our drama at Hogmanay confirmed I’m doing the right thing,’ Dad replied, looking up from a mountain of paperwork. You only realise when you need to clear out quite how much of a hoarder of unnecessary things you are. ‘I like being there for you and Harry and it can get lonely here especially of an evening, there won’t be a minute to myself when I move into the farm.’ He smiled, thankfully happy with that.

  ‘I’m not sure if you know what you’ve let yourself in for,’ I said. ‘But I’m really pleased you’re staying. I miss you when you’re not with us, and I hate thinking of you lonely here. I think Mum would be pleased too.’ My voice caught a little when I said that and I looked quickly down at the shirts, worried I might cry if I carried on looking at him.

  ‘She would,’ he agreed. ‘And she would be proud of you marrying Rory at Broomwood Castle. Thank you for letting me read her letter. Hearing her voice through her words was wonderful, if difficult. She seemed to have known somehow what you needed to hear, didn’t she? But that was your mother all over. I have never met, before or since, anyone who was always right like she was. Not that I ever told her that though.’

  ‘She really was. I certainly didn’t inherit that from her but I’m trying to work on my anxiety and worry. I think Stewart turning up actually helped in that way. He showed me how much I loved my life even if I was terrified about it, and even if it was unexpected, and all happened so quickly, and I needed that. It’s helped me to not be so scared, but to embrace it and try to enjoy it more. I think I will still always worry, it’s just who I am, but I’ll count my blessings more now.’

  ‘I think you were scared that things you hadn’t planned for had happened but now you can see they were always meant to happen. I think seeing Stewart showed you that what you have now is so much better for you than what you might have had with him.’

  It was true. My life was unexpected in every way and it had made me happier than I thought possible. Just as my mother had predicted. Seeing how unhappy Stewart was made me realise how differently my life could have turned out. I reached out to brush Harry’s hair off his face as he chatted to his trains, and I felt a burst of joy. I was determined to hang on to that joy and not let myself self-sabotage as I had done in the past. My phone rang then. ‘Hey,’ I said, smiling when I realised it was Rory. ‘Missing me already?’ I saw my dad roll his eyes.

  ‘Well, yes. But also, I have news,’ he replied, the smile clear in his voice. ‘William just rung, he’s officially accepted our offer on Hilltop. I’ve booked a meeting at the bank to get a loan before the house sale goes through so we can go ahead.’

  ‘That is very good news.’ I gave my dad a thumbs-up, and he looked confused. ‘We’ve got Hilltop,’ I explained to him. ‘Well, life is about to get even busier for us,’ I said to Rory. ‘Are you sure we’re up to this?’

  ‘Hilltop will be a top, working sheep farm, and will offer retreats to people looking for an authentic farming experience. It will soon be the best retreat in Scotland, I have no doubt. Oh, better go, Luke is giving the pigs way too much food, I can see.’ He hung up abruptly. Luke had become a fixture around the farm helping out as much as he could, and I could see he was blossoming from the work, Rory and Angus’s guidance, and all the fresh air too. ‘Last chance to change your mind,’ I said to Dad then. ‘I so appreciate the money you’re giving us but I want to make sure you really want to do this.’

  ‘That money is yours from your mother. She would love to see you helping people like you will with this new venture, and I can see you’re loving working on it. I loved this house, it’s true, but only because you two were here. Now that your mother has gone, my home is with you guys on the farm. This is just a house now.’

  ‘I don’t think Mum was the only one to have a way with words,’ I told him, welling up again. I looked around. It was true that this place reminded me of her, but she was no longer here, and it was no longer our home. But I would cherish the memories we shared here and carry them in my heart always as I hopefully made many more memories with my family.

  * * *

  I took Emily and the kids along with me to see Hilltop Farm the following day. I wanted to get a feel for the grounds. I hadn’t really explored the area properly and now that the sale was going through, there was no time like the present to start planning exactly what we wanted to do with the land once it was ours.

  ‘This place is even more remote than Fraser Farm,’ Emily said as we bumped along the gravel track that led up to the farmhouse. It was a crisp, sunny January morning and the blue sky and sunshine showed off the rustic farmhouse beautifully. As we got out of the car, I had to agree with Emily. It was so peaceful here. Set back miles from the road, all we could hear was birdsong. ‘That’s why I thought it would be perfect for retreats, you can totally get away from everything here. There isn’t even a phone signal. And I doubt we’d get Wi-Fi. Guests would be deep in the countryside, and I think it would be perfect for people looking for time to just be with nature, away from their life for a few days, you know?’

  Emily put Iona in her pushchair as I let Harry out, him running towards the field, obviously not in the mood for his own pushchair. ‘I know my old friends in London would have paid a fortune for that so I think you will have no shortage of takers. I’d be interested myself,’ she added with a laugh. ‘So, shall we take a walk around?’ We set off after Harry. ‘Have you heard about the listing yet?’

  ‘We have people coming out here and to our farm next week, but it looks like both properties will be listed. I think that will be a selling point to visitors. We’ll try to keep it as closely as we can to how it’s always been. Obviously, some of the electrics need looking at, and the heating and water, but the property is all intact, it just needs decorating. There are five bedrooms, which could all be hired out either together or individually. And we realised there’s a small property near the woods that could be used for a live-in manager. Which I think we’ll need as I can’t be here all the time, and Angus wants to help but I don’t think he’d be great with the guests to be honest.’ We shared a grin. ‘He can be more of the groundsman here. And my dad likes the idea of offering some classes like in woodwork or something. I thought I could run an art class. And as we said, if you wanted to do any bakery ones…’

  We walked towards the woodland area side-by-side, Harry in front of us skipping along cheerfully. Iona was sleeping peacefully. She was almost ready to walk and then I thought the two of them would likely
cause all sorts of chaos for us.

  ‘Well,’ Emily began, glancing at me rather coyly, ‘I’m not sure if I’ll have the time for a while. I took a test and I am pregnant. It’s really early though so I’m only telling you and Beth because you both got me wondering if I was, and Brodie of course, who was right there with me when I took it!’

  ‘Oh, wow, congratulations. How do you feel?’ I asked, but I could sense the happiness radiating out from her.

  ‘Surprised,’ she said with a laugh. ‘It took so long to get pregnant with Greg, Iona felt like a miracle baby especially after everything we went through, I honestly thought if it ever happened again, it might take years or I’d need help. I can’t believe I’ll be having a honeymoon baby.’ She shook her head. ‘I feel like I still can’t take it in, do you know what I mean?’

  ‘Definitely. I was in shock when I realised I was pregnant with Harry.’ I thought back as we walked into the woodland, the sun turning into a trickle through the leaves. ‘He wasn’t planned and I had always planned everything. But as you know with Iona often the best things are the ones we don’t plan.’

  ‘That’s true. I never thought I’d have a baby and then leave the father. Mind you, Brodie would say that unexpected things are planned – just not by us.’ She smiled. I knew she wasn’t religious like her husband but she supported it and tried to find her own faith, seeing how much happiness it brought to him. She once said that Brodie’s opinion was the one she trusted most in life, and that had been the case before they had even kissed, and I wondered if it was because of his faith. ‘But the thought of having two young children and running the bakery…’ She shrugged. ‘I might not sleep for like ten years!’

  ‘I’ll be honest, that’s why I worried about having a second baby, it seemed so much to even have Harry but I think I’d be less scared now. Don’t get me wrong, I want to wait before we try, but I guess if something unexpected happens again I could cope better this time around.’ I watched Harry find a log and I hurried forwards to help him up on it, holding his hand so he wouldn’t fall. Before, I would have just told him no and pulled him away but Rory was right – he needed to explore and discover the world for himself. I just needed to lend a helping hand when he needed me too.

  ‘Why, do you think?’ Emily asked as she stopped to watch us.

  ‘Honestly, these past few weeks have shown me that I can deal with so much more than I thought I could. First my ex came and tried to sabotage the farm and take me away from it, and then we had that fire… It’s been a crazy Christmas but I feel like we’ve come out of it stronger, especially me. And then I read my mum’s letter. She made me see that you need to fight for what you love.’

  Emily leaned down to check on Iona. ‘I couldn’t agree more.’ She looked up. ‘This place is wonderful. If we can show more people how good Glendale is for your health and happiness then all the better. If only we could bottle it like water, right?’

  I glanced back to see the farmhouse through a gap in the trees. I felt like this project could be something special, and something that would secure us financially in the future. Emily was right – if we could give others a taste of Glendale, the untouched countryside, and our warm community, they would feel so much better, I was sure of it. ‘We’d make a fortune,’ I agreed, laughing.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  I offered to take Luke home after a day’s work on the farm as I needed to drop off a few things at the farm shop. It was growing dark outside although it was only late afternoon, the sky threatening rain. Luke’s boots were covered in mud and there was a smear of it on his cheek. ‘Is your mum going to let you in the house like that?’ I asked as he directed me to his road. It was a few miles away from the High Street and he lived in a block of flats at the end. It was strange. Glendale was such a pretty place that to be honest I hadn’t realised that this estate sat just outside it. It proved that I led a very entitled life, one that I failed to appreciate sometimes but I supposed we were all guilty of that.

  ‘She probably won’t be in, she works two jobs. My dad is out of work right now so he’s always there.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘It was his own fault,’ he muttered. I raised an eyebrow but he didn’t elaborate.

  As I pulled up, I saw a group of boys on the corner, a few kicking a ball, a couple smoking, leaning against the railings, watching my car with interest.

  ‘It’s pretty rough here,’ Luke said apologetically, when he saw me looking at them.

  ‘Are they your friends?’

  He shrugged. ‘We hang out sometimes. But now I’m at the farm most days, not so much.’

  ‘What about a girlfriend?’

  He gave me a look. ‘As if I’d tell you.’ But he was grinning.

  ‘Are you enjoying working with us?’ I asked. Although it had begun as Luke paying off his ‘debt’ to us, Rory had quickly started giving him a small wage, and he always had lunch with us while he was working – he had felt too guilty making him work for free. We hadn’t lost too much over the barn fire and hearing about Luke’s home life, I was glad Rory had done that.

  That brightened him up. ‘I love it. I hope I can stay on. Like for the summer too?’

  ‘Of course you can.’ I nodded. ‘Go on then, you’d better get inside. See you after school tomorrow.’

  ‘Bye, Heather!’ He ran inside the block of flats ignoring the jeers from the boys trying to get his attention. I pulled away and drove back towards the village, looking in my rear-view mirror to watch as he disappeared inside. He was a good kid and I was pleased that we could offer him a helping hand. We’d need more local help as well with Hilltop to manage as well as Fraser Farm, and I wondered if we’d have work for some of Luke’s friends too. As I arrived in the High Street, I passed by the farm shop, and had a sudden urge to sit on my mum’s bench. Perhaps it was Luke speaking about his parents and realising how different his upbringing was to the one I had.

  Parking outside the church, I walked into the cemetery, the air brisk around me. I pulled my red scarf tighter around my neck as I sat down on my mum’s bench to try to keep the wind away from my face. The cemetery was empty but not lonely. As always, I felt close to her here. I wasn’t sure if I really believed that she was looking down on me but I did feel as if she was always with me, even if it was just the memory of her love, and the fact that my heart would also be full of it. ‘Well, Mum, a lot has happened since I came here with Dad,’ I said softly, my voice mingling with the breeze. I felt self-conscious speaking aloud but if there was any possibility that she could hear me then I wanted her to. ‘I read your letter. And wow, what a letter. I wonder if you ever realised the mark you left on my life. I know that all mothers leave a mark on their daughters. Good and bad for some too, of course. But you really have helped me be both a better mother and a woman. Thanks to you I was able to let go of my fears, and I actually proposed to Rory.’ I smiled, rubbing the ring on my left hand, which I was still getting used to feeling against my skin.

  ‘He said yes, in case you weren’t sure. It’s funny but you were right. I didn’t end up with the handsome, charming, ambitious businessman I thought I loved but I actually found my perfect partner in a rough and ready farmer who is kind and loyal and who, despite his teasing, is my biggest supporter in life. I’m so happy that you were right – the unexpected things in life really are the best ones. And I think I’ll always worry when things don’t go to plan but I know now that if that happens, I can handle it because I have Rory, and my dad, Harry, all our family and friends…’ I looked up as a burst of light streamed in through a gap in the trees above me. And I smiled. ‘And you, right by my side.’

  ‘Talking to yourself again.’

  I turned and smiled to see Brodie walking behind me on the path.

  ‘Want me to keep on walking?’ he checked.

  ‘No, come and sit,’ I said. He was in jeans and a thick jumper today but still seeming very much at one with his surroundings of the church. ‘I
was just talking to my mum. I felt like I needed to tell her what’s been going on.’ I glanced across at him shyly when he sat down beside me. ‘Is that mad?’

  ‘If it was mad then most of the population would be crazy. I think it helps to talk to the people you miss. And, hey, I talk to someone not beside me all the time.’ He pointed up to the sky. ‘I caught Em talking to her non-existent bump earlier too. Perhaps we all need the comfort of saying things to people who we hope can hear but who can’t say anything back. Maybe it lets us be honest in a way we can’t be sometimes with people who can say something back.’

  ‘I did tell her that it’s thanks to her that I’m the mother and woman that I am. I can imagine her actually saying “don’t be silly” if I had been able to say it to her face-to-face so you might be right. Do you ever wonder if God can really hear you though?’ I asked curiously.

  ‘I do think He has better things to do than to listen to me rambling on sometimes,’ he replied with an easy laugh. ‘But no, I think He’s always there with a listening ear if you want to talk. Much like your mother is too, I’m sure.’

  I smiled. ‘It makes me feel better to know that she’s around, so I understand what you mean about God. It’s going to be another year of big events, isn’t it? Mine and Rory’s wedding, you and Emily having a baby…’

  Brodie tilted his face towards the sun. ‘There is always something to look forward to.’

  I knew we all needed to remember that.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  The cold, crisp weather continued so I suggested that Rory and I took the horses for a ride while Harry was having an afternoon nap and Dad was content watching a film inside.

  ‘From someone who was too scared to even get on Prince, you look very comfortable now,’ Rory said with a grin as I climbed into the saddle, reaching out to pat the horse as I gathered up the reins.