Sunshine and Shadows

by Pamela Browning

He was watching tourists taking snapshots, keeping an eye on Felipe so that he didn't fall into the waterfall, and imagining Lisa lying naked on a moonlit beach when Ruy yelled, "Alejandro's gone! I can't find him!"

  Chapter 6

  If Jay had thought things were lively before, this was sheer panic. After Ruy's shout, Lisa turned pale and Connie shook Ruy by the shoulders until his teeth chattered.

  "I told you to watch Alejandro," she said fiercely, whereupon Ruy began to wail, long keening notes that would do justice to a fire engine's siren. A frantic search of the aviary produced no stray boy, so Jay and Lisa hurried the children out to the distracting accompaniment of Ruy's crying.

  An older woman in baggy Bermuda shorts stopped and said in a tone of concern, "Is something wrong? Can I help?" while at the same time her husband urged, "Come along, Gladys, it's none of our business."

  Felipe said, "Alejandro could have left the bird exhibit as soon as we got there," but Mike said, "He wouldn't do that. I saw him trying to frighten the flamingos." The two boys began to argue loudly in Spanish.

  A uniformed security officer driving a golf cart rolled to a stop beside them. "Is there some problem?" he asked.

  "Yes, a missing child," Jay said hurriedly as Lisa and Connie began searching the nearby bushes.

  "You'll have to come to the administration building and file a missing-child report," the man told Jay.

  "We've just discovered he's gone," Jay said. "We're looking for him right now."

  "The best thing would be to file the report. What does he look like? What's his name? His age?"

  "The boy's name is Alejandro, and he's, uh—Mike, how old is Alejandro?"

  "He's five," Mike said. He had sent Ruy and Felipe to help Connie and Lisa search, and he stood quietly beside Jay.

  "The boy has short black hair, dark skin and eyes, and he's about this tall," Jay said, measuring out Alejandro's height as well as he could. "He's wearing a red-striped shirt."

  "Come with me, sir," the security officer said.

  Felipe bounded over and tugged at Jay's hand. "All we have to do is go back to the koalas. Alejandro probably went there," he said.

  Lisa appeared at Jay's side. "Felipe's right, Jay. We had to drag him away from them."

  "Okay," Jay said. "Lisa, you take Connie and Ruy and Felipe and make sure they stay with you. Look for Alejandro with the koalas and Mike and I will go with the security officer to file the missing-child report. How about meeting me at the zoo office after you check the koala exhibit?"

  He and Mike joined the security guard in the golf cart, much to Ruy's disgust. "He gets to ride. We have to walk," he said indignantly.

  "Come on, Ruy, don't waste time," Connie scolded as she tugged him along, but Ruy kept turning and watching the golf cart until it disappeared into the throng of people.

  "Don't worry," Lisa said to the children, "we'll find Alejandro," but she was worried. The zoo presented all kinds of dangers for a lost little boy, particularly one who was fearless.

  "He's all right—I know he is," Connie said, trying to soothe everyone's spirits.

  "Look! Is that Alejandro?" Lisa asked, and they all ran ahead, only to startle a child who was clearly with his parents and was definitely not Alejandro.

  "We have to go to the koalas," Felipe said patiently.

  And indeed they did find Alejandro, his shirt hanging out and one shoe untied, blissfully standing motionless and staring openmouthed at the koala exhibit, where one adorable baby koala stared back.

  "Alejandro!" Connie said sharply. Alejandro turned around and blinked at them.

  "Alejandro, you shouldn't have left the group. We were so worried," Lisa lectured, kneeling until she was on his eye level.

  "I don't like birds. I only like koalas," Alejandro said stubbornly.

  "You hold fast to my hand, Alejandro Fernandez, and don't give us any more trouble," Connie said sternly.

  "Okay," he said, surrendering his hand to his cousin, and the five of them straggled out of the exhibit and toward the zoo administration building.

  Jay had barely finished filling out the missing-child report, when they arrived. He broke into a broad smile when he saw their little group trooping in.

  "I don't know about anyone else," he said when they were outside again, "but I'm ready to call it a day."

  Lisa, who was leery of letting Alejandro put a distance of more than two feet between them, rolled her eyes and said, "I'm with you."

  Jay and Lisa patiently guided their little group back to the parking lot. Alejandro looked so tired that he could barely plant one foot in front of another, and finally Jay picked him up and carried him.

  "I sketched a lot of animals," Connie said as they backed out of the parking space. She was the only one who still had enough energy to talk.

  "What will you do with your sketches?" Jay wanted to know as soon as they had left the parking lot behind.

  "I want to see if I can mix the beautiful pink color of the flamingos, and maybe I can remember the exact way the elephants looked so happy with each other when they touched trunks, but I don't know about painting them. Their color wasn't so beautiful, and anyway, I can't paint as good as Jay," Connie said.

  "Remember what I always tell you?" Jay said.

  "That I can do whatever I set my mind to," she said.

  "Right. You're a better artist than I was at your age."

  "I don't think so. Anyway, I can't sculpt."

  "You will someday. I promise," Jay said.

  "Everything Jay promises really happens," Connie said to Lisa. "Absolutely everything."

  Jay laughed. "My clients wish that were true."

  "I've never seen any of your sculpture," Lisa said.

  "Lucky you," Jay replied.

  "No, I'd like to see your work," Lisa insisted.

  "I'll show you something I've been working on for years if you're free tomorrow," he said.

  "I'd like that," and Lisa smiled at him.

  "Are we ever going to eat?" demanded a sleepy voice from the back.

  "Ruy! Be polite!" Connie turned around and glared at her cousin.

  Jay said, "We'll stop in a few minutes, so hold your horses."

  "Hold your horses," Ruy said with a snicker.

  "Hold your anteaters," added Felipe.

  "Hold your hippopotallus," said Alejandro, laughing so hard he couldn't stop.

  After stopping at a cafeteria for a meal that was punctuated by lively antics, they were at last headed toward home. It was about a two-hour drive, and Connie sat in front between Lisa and Jay.

  "I think I'm as tired as the kids are," Jay said quietly to Lisa.

  "I know I am," Lisa whispered back as she shifted slightly to accommodate Connie's head, which had settled on her shoulder.

  Jay's eyes met hers for a moment in the glare from the dash lights, sharing a look, sharing the moment. With the children quiet, with no one talking or laughing or demanding, peace seemed to have settled over them.

  Happiness, Lisa thought involuntarily. This is what it is for me—the kids lulled to sleep by food and fun and someone to understand how special this day has been. She faced front again, shaken that she had settled into this easy domestic feeling with a man she barely knew. She would have given almost anything to know what he was thinking, but Jay concentrated on his driving, and neither one of them spoke.

  After they left the highway, the road to Yahola seemed dark and eerie. Connie stirred and mumbled something querulous in her sleep, then slumped even closer to Lisa. The boys in the back remained quiet, soothed by the hum of the tires as the car swallowed up the road.

  A glow seemed to light up the sky as they approached the labor camp.

  "What's that?" Lisa asked, knowing that the small store at the camp's entrance would be closed this late at night.

  "The Club Two Spot," Jay said quietly. "You've noticed it before, haven't you?"

  In fact, Lisa had passed the place every day that she went to the mission, but
it had never been open. Tonight, Saturday night, the joint was jumping. From a quarter of a mile away they heard the blare of music, and as Jay slowed their speed to a crawl in order to accommodate the cars that were both leaving and entering the highway, Lisa turned her head for a closer look.

  The Club Two Spot was a low white building with its name scrawled on one wall in a swoosh of aerosol paint, and people inside were laughing and dancing. Two women staggered out the front door as they passed, and a man hollered a suggestive remark at them from the back fender of his car, where he sat nursing a bottle in a brown paper bag.

  "Some people from Yahola head straight for the Two Spot after they get paid on Friday night, and the party lasts all weekend," Jay said in a low tone to Lisa.

  Connie stirred sleepily and lifted her head. "Do you see Nina there?" she asked when she saw where they were.

  "No, I didn't," Jay said.

  At the sound of the others' voices, the boys woke up grumpily and pressed their faces against the windows. There were no streetlights, and the house where the children lived with Nina looked closed and dark. A bedraggled cat ran across the bright wedge of the car's headlights and slunk into a dusty patch of weeds. As the car slid to a stop, Connie silently groped on the floor for her sketch pad.

  "Thanks, Jay and Lisa," she said through a yawn. "We all had a real good time."

  "So did we," Lisa said, putting an arm around Connie.

  "I'll carry Alejandro," Jay offered, but Alejandro would have none of it. "I can walk," he said loudly, climbing out and heading unsteadily through the murky darkness in the direction of the front door.

  Lisa hugged Connie close for a moment, surprised that Connie hugged back so intensely.

  "I love you, Lisa," Connie said.

  Lisa hadn't expected this, but she was moved by the declaration. "Why, I love you too, Connie," she managed to say.

  "Nobody ever tells me that," Connie said, sounding perilously near tears before she ran toward the door of the house.

  Lisa waited as Jay walked the other children to the house. She saw the front door open, watched the children go inside, and still there was no sign of Nina. After Jay disappeared for a moment, lights sprang to life behind the window of the front room.

  It was a good ten minutes before Jay came outside. He looked exasperated. He bent over and rested his forearms on the edge of the open car window to talk to Lisa.

  "Nina's not here," he said. "The kids don't know where she is."

  "I'll help put them to bed," Lisa offered, moving to open the car door, but Jay rested a restraining hand on her shoulder.

  "Connie's taking care of them. She'd said she'd be embarrassed if you saw how they live," he said gently.

  Lisa fell back against the seat. "Oh," she said. She looked up at Jay. "Are you going back inside?" she asked.

  "I told Connie I'd check out the Club Two Spot and see if Nina's there. You could sit right here until I get back—I'll only be gone for a few minutes."

  She looked up at him and saw from the lines between his eyes how concerned he was. "Okay," she said, trying to smile.

  "Be careful," she called unnecessarily out the window, and he waved as he retreated down the street.

  Lisa stretched her legs and yawned. She looked at the house, then at the entire row of houses. Some were dark, some dimly lighted. In the house where Connie and the boys lived with Nina, all the lights went out, and through the gloom Lisa thought she saw a small shape stand at the door for a fleeting moment before disappearing.

  Connie, she thought. Connie's wondering if I'm still out here. She could understand why Connie would be embarrassed for her to come inside, but she wished she had. Lisa would have liked to tuck the boys into their cots and smooth Connie's unruly black bangs back from her forehead. Lisa was aware that she had well-developed maternal instincts. The problem was that she seldom had a chance to act upon them.

  After about fifteen minutes she turned and looked out the back window. Jay was walking toward her through the inky darkness. He was alone. Slowly, she got out of the car, stretched and waited for him. "You didn't find Nina?" she asked.

  "Nope," he said. "The way it looks to me, we have three options," he said finally. "We could take the kids home with us, which isn't a good idea. We don't have Nina's permission, and she might try to blow it all out of proportion. We could wait here until Nina or some other responsible adult comes along to take care of them. Or we could leave

  "I can't leave them," she said.

  Jay nodded. "I knew you'd feel that way. And I don't think we should take them home with us. So that leaves staying. Do you mind?"

  She shook her head. "Shouldn't we go inside with them?"

  "I promised Connie I wouldn't bring you in. I don't want to go back on my word. Let's sit on the porch. The windows are open, so we'll hear if there's a problem."

  "Okay," Lisa said. She shivered. "I didn't bring a jacket, and it's turning chilly," she said.

  "You can wrap up in the tablecloth," Jay said, and he got it from the back of the minivan and shook it out, wrapping it loosely around Lisa's shoulders like a shawl.

  "That's better," she said, and he rested his hands upon her shoulders for a moment before releasing her.

  Slowly, hand in hand, they went up on the front porch, but there were no chairs, so they sat on a lower step, using the next highest one for a backrest. Lisa huddled in the tablecloth, continuing to shiver until Jay turned half-sideways to protect her from the wind. He slid his arm around her and she moved closer.

  There was no sound from inside the house, and Lisa knew that as tired as the kids were, they must have gone to sleep immediately.

  "Does Nina spend much time at the Club Two Spot, do you think?" Lisa asked, lowering her voice so that Jay had to dip his head to hear her. Her bangs brushed his cheek, so soft, so gentle. He resisted the urge to touch them.

  "Probably," Jay said. He shifted his position, unable to get comfortable. He looked off into the distance, trying to be fair. It wasn't easy.

  "I suppose we should look at this from Nina's point of view, too," he said. "She works hard doing stoop labor in the fields all day, and she's the only support of these kids. When she gets home, she's supposed to take care of them. She has a hard life."

  Lisa shot him a surprised look. "I'm surprised to hear you defend her," she said.

  "A successful lawyer should be able to argue both sides of a case. I'm not defending Nina, not by any means, but when you live the way she does, you learn to take pleasure where you find it. If the only happiness for miles around happens to be at the Club Two Spot, well, that's where you go."

  "Happiness for me today was being with those kids," Lisa said.

  "I'm glad to hear that," Jay replied. She was the only woman he knew that he could imagine taking on an outing like today's. He could imagine Lisa as a suburban matron with a flock of children in tow, and he liked thinking of her that way.

  A car slowed as it went past, and they hoped it was Nina, but it was only the next-door neighbors returning home.

  "Guess I'd better go talk to them," Jay said, removing his arm from around her shoulders and slowly unbending. He stood up, hurried across the front yard and carried on a quick, low conversation with the neighbors before hurrying back.

  "They're the Martins, the parents of two of my art students, and they say that the Fernandez kids can come and stay with them, but they know from past experience that Nina gets angry if the children go over there. I'm afraid it will only make trouble for everyone if we insist," he said. He sat down again and drew in a long breath, which he exhaled slowly. He looked over at Lisa. "You didn't ask for all this, I know. You're being a good sport about it," he said.

  She worked her arm out of the folds of the tablecloth and slid it through his. "It happens that I agree with you one hundred percent about Nina's neglect of the children," she said.

  He studied her reflectively, his perception of who she was expanding. "When you look at me like that�
��" he said, and stopped. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, and this wasn't really the place to say them. If they were making love he could tell her everything, could feel as close to her in the physical sense as he did in his mind; he was only beginning to sense how rewarding the physical expression of their closeness could be.

  "When I look at you like this, what?" she said, and he thought he saw a hint of amusement in the quirk of her smile.

  "I think you're the most wonderful woman in the world," he said with great finality, and he kissed her.

  Lisa didn't care if everyone in Yahola was watching or even everyone in the whole world. She shifted her weight until he had no choice but to take her in his arms. Slowly he enfolded her and pressed her close, and after he released her lips he rubbed his cheek slowly against hers. She felt the faint stubble of his beard.

  "You're so soft," he murmured. "So soft and sweet, and it's been torture to be with you all day, being able to look and not touch." His hands moved under the tablecloth, resting lightly against the indentation at her waist, seeming to count her ribs one by one, brushing over her breasts and coming to rest on her shoulders. He twisted her toward him and she accommodated herself willingly, eagerly, and that was when the car lights swung across the front of the house and pinned them in their glare.

  They sprang apart guiltily and leaped to their feet. Nina jumped from the car and slammed the door without bothering to say goodbye to the driver, who backed away in a spurt of dust and exhaust before roaring back toward the highway.

  "You looking for me?" Nina said. She stood below them with her hands on her hips, her purse swinging from one wrist.

  "I didn't want to leave the children alone, so—" Jay said.

  Nina pushed past both of them on her way up the steps. "You could have. I do it all the time. Connie is old enough to take care of them."

  "Nevertheless, it didn't seem like a good idea. Connie is too young for such responsibility. If you're going to be gone this late at night, you should hire a baby-sitter or let them stay with the neighbors until you come back," Jay said heatedly. "You don't want to be reported to Child Protective Services, but that's what I'll do if I find evidence that you're neglecting the children."