by A. D. Ellis
“So, Daddy, we need to let Miss Audrey know that we can forgive her. Everyone deserves forgiveness, that’s what they teach at church. Miss Audrey needs to say she’s sorry and just move on. And we should be there for her if her mistakes are making her too sad.” Jeremiah couldn’t help but smile at his son. This little boy, the one who faced so many challenges the moment he was born, who had made such progress but still dealt with stares and whispers, this little boy was wiser than most adults he knew.
“You’re right, Beck. We will be there for Miss Audrey and let her know that we forgive her. Now, it’s time for you to be asleep. I’ll say prayers, then it’s goodnight. ‘Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Guide me safely through the night, and wake me with the morning light. Dear God, thank you for this day and for all of the blessings you’ve given us. Watch over us and protect us, guide us and direct us in all we say and do. Amen.” By the time Jeremiah reached the “amen”, Beckett was asleep so he quietly tucked him in and headed out of the room.
Jeremiah had made up his mind after talking to Nate and now because of what Beckett had said. He wasn’t done with this thing he and Audrey had. He would pursue it until they both decided it wasn’t going to work. Hell, if people could look past his own past, he could look past Audrey’s. He texted her and headed to bed with a smile on his face. He could just imagine the look on her face when she got his text.
Chapter 19
Audrey
Jeremiah: Hey there. I’ve been talking to some very smart people. They helped me reach a decision I was too stupid to reach on my own. I’m not giving up on whatever this is between us. Yes, you have a past, who doesn’t? Your past has some bad choices in it. Most of us have bad choices in our past. Our pasts shouldn’t dictate our futures. You are not the person you were in the past. You’re the person who rocked my world in a bar one night. You’re the person who dropped to her knees to hug my son just a day ago. You are a beautiful, talented, caring, compassionate woman. I have feelings for you. And so does Beckett. So, if not for me, will you do it because of Beckett? Plus, Angel, you may be all sorts of sweet, but I’m not sure I trust your cake picking skills. I definitely think I need to be with you to help avoid any pistachio or marmalade cakes being chosen. So, let’s plan on making a day of it on Saturday. Ok?
Pistachio or marmalade? What in the hell was he talking about? I’d never pick those flavors for a four-year-old’s birthday party. He doesn’t trust my cake picking skills? How would I be a party planner if I didn’t have good cake choosing skills? Well, I have a couple things to tell him on this subject.
Me: Listen, bucko, I will have you know that I’m very good at picking the type of cake that would go perfectly with every type of party. You’re welcome to come along and see just how good I am at picking out cake. You will eat your words when you see just how good I am at picking out cake. See you Saturday!
SEND!
About 30 seconds later, Jeremiah replied.
Jeremiah: Ok, sounds good. I’ll pick you up at 9am. I’ll bring coffee and breakfast. Plan on being gone most of the day. See ya on Saturday, Sweets! ;)
Did Jeremiah Jordan just send me a winky face?
Well, shit, he got me. He got me so distracted about the cake, I didn’t spend any time thinking about his other words and what he was saying. He’s not giving up on this thing between us? There is no thing between us. That night was a mistake. Right? Shit, instead of staying away from him, I just accepted his offer to spend a whole day with him on Saturday. Craptastic.
That’s not even to mention him acting like he can forgive me for my past. He doesn’t even have the slightest idea what happened to me and what it turned me into. Well, he has an idea thanks to Max, but that’s just the very beginning. Max barely scratches the surface of all the shit piled up in my past. It’s noble of him to act like he can forgive, but it’s just too much. I’ll let him know I appreciate his offer on Saturday, but I’ll just have to pass on it. I can’t share with him all that has happened to me and all the bad stuff I’ve done; I can’t expect him to just believe in me and start a relationship with me blindly. I can’t give him what he needs, plain and simple. We will get this party planned and then go our separate ways. I’m glad to be going into this with a plan.
By Saturday morning, my plan was shot to hell at exactly 9 am when Jeremiah knocks on my door. I opened it to find him in a pair of jeans that should be illegal for how delicious they looked hanging off his hips just right yet still outlining his very fine ass perfectly. His button up shirt was rolled up at the sleeves and hanging loose at the waist. This should look sort of sloppy but on Jeremiah it looked scrumptious. His trademark unlaced boots were absent, replaced by a clean yet obviously worn pair of sneakers. He looked casual yet sexy all in one package. And then he handed me a coffee and with a wink his still sleepy voice rumbled, “Coffee, two creams, two sugars. Just sweet enough for my Sweets.” When I looked at him flabbergasted, most girls seem to be all frou-frou with their coffee drinks, but I like mine pretty simple, he laughed and looked a little sheepish.
“I may have texted Nate to have him ask Libby what kind of coffee you like.” With that, my plan began to deteriorate even more. When he handed me a donut with chocolate, crushed almonds, and toffee pieces on the top, I heard my plan shouting, “Mayday, mayday!” as it crashed to the ground.
“I remembered you said you liked chocolate toffee almonds, so when I saw this flavor was on special at the bakery, I knew it was fate and I had to get it for you. Now, put your coffee and donut down, Audrey.” His voice was commanding and I was confused why he brought me coffee and a donut if he wasn’t going to let me have them. I looked at him questioningly. He stalked towards me. “Put. The. Coffee. And. Donut. Down.” I was getting a little pissed, but I placed the two items on the counter and turned back to give him a piece of my mind.
Before I knew what was happening, Jeremiah was face-to-face, toe-to-toe with me. I could feel the heat from his body; I could smell the clean, soapy scent of him. “Good morning, Angel.” His breath feathered across my cheek as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. His eyes, still that gorgeous gold-flecked hazel color, darkened and his breathing was heavy. I should have backed away, right? I was going to turn down his offer of forgiveness and “us,” so I shouldn’t have let him kiss me. But, if I was going to turn all of that down, maybe I should take one last kiss. I slide my tongue out to moisten my bottom lip and that’s all it took.
His mouth was on mine in a split second and all other thoughts ceased to exist. It was as if the planet had stopped spinning, there was nothing except the kiss. Just as hot as the other night, his lips caressed mine, leaving trails of electricity behind. My arms wrapped around his neck, mainly out of fear that if I didn’t hold on to him, I’d collapse in a heap in front of him. I heard myself moan as his tongue sought entry into my mouth and my panties were wet within seconds. Jeremiah ran his hands down the sides of my torso and pulled me closer to his hard body. My heart felt as if it was about to beat out of my chest. His mouth trailed kisses down my jaw and neck and then his forehead pressed against mine. He was breathing hard and had his eyes closed. Taking a deep breath, he chuckled and said, “I could get used to that, Sweets. Now, eat your donut. You can bring the coffee with us.”
I stood still, looking at him, trying to gather my wits about me. How does one man’s lips discombobulate me so completely and so quickly? I shook my head to clear the haze that felt like it had taken residence ever since he walked in. Grabbing my donut, I savored the crunchy sweetness of it while I contemplated how to bring up the subject of “there’s not going to be an us”. Jeremiah beat me to it.
“So, I can see the wheels in your beautiful head turning. You’re trying to figure out a tactful way to tell me that you can’t do this with me. You think your past is too bad, and it can’t be forgiven. I’ll save you the time. If, and only if, you ever want to tell me about your past, I’ll be here to listen. Whether that’s next w
eek or next year or never, it’s ok. You’ve got a clean slate with me and with Beckett. You aren’t that person you used to be, you’re a new person and you’re the person I want to spend time with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared to death. I haven’t done a relationship since the disaster with Shelly and that obviously didn’t turn out so well. I don’t know much about being in a relationship, but I want to give this a shot. I want to see what we can make of this. Please say yes.” Jeremiah’s little speech was clearly rehearsed, but that didn’t make it any less appealing and heart-warming. “If you don’t do it for me, at least give it a shot because of Beckett. He wants this to work almost as badly as I do, maybe even more.” Sneaky man, pulling the Beckett card.
“That’s not fair, you can’t use Beckett against me, you know how much I love that little guy already.” Jeremiah cupped my cheek and stepped closer.
“Tell you what, how about I use kisses and today against you?” His lips tasted sweet and like coffee, his tongue danced with mine. My heart hitched when his teeth nipped at my bottom lip. “Please, Audrey, give us a chance. Let’s see how today goes. You can make your decision after that. What do you say?”
Well, my plan is already shot to shit, so I may as well enjoy today and decide after our day together. “Fine. I won’t say no until after our day together. But, please don’t hold out much hope. As much as I want to make you and Beckett happy, I want even more to save you both from the mess I am.” Jeremiah’s eyes sparkled when I said those words. I’m pretty sure all he heard was I’d give today a chance; he didn’t even pay attention to the rest of my words.
Chapter 20
Audrey
We started at the hobby shop in town. Dale Morgan owned it and his brother, John, worked there sometimes. Nate Morgan also helped out when needed. This morning, Nate was standing at the counter talking to both his dad and his uncle when Jeremiah and I walked in. I blushed a little at the raised eyebrows Nate gave me. It wasn’t a questioning or judging look; it was more of a teasing, almost brotherly look and it made my heart warm. If Nate and I could ever get to the point where he could tease me like a brother, I would count it as a blessing for sure.
Nate and Jeremiah shook hands and clapped each other on the back in that way only guys can pull off. Introductions were made all around, and I quickly explained what we were looking for. Dale happily showed us some simple dinosaur crafts that were perfect for the party. We added those to the basket along with craft glue. Dale had recently started carrying balloons and filling them up with helium so we ordered some #4 balloons and dinosaur balloons that he would have blown up and waiting for us on the day of the party. A tub of sidewalk chalk and some air-dry modeling clay came next. I had decided that little four-year-old hands would love making dinosaurs and we could paint them once they dried. I was sure to pick the washable paint, I didn’t want any parents mad at me when little Jimmy’s shirt got stained with green dinosaur paint.
We made a little small talk with the Morgan men and then checked out and headed toward the big party supply store in the next town over. We could have gotten almost all of the items we had just purchased at Dale’s at the big supply store and it would have been cheaper, but I like to keep business local if at all possible.
Jeremiah Jordan is a big kid at heart. We walked into the party store and Jeremiah’s eyes lit up. I’d never really run around and played in a store. When he started grabbing masks and props and thrusting them at me, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to do.
“Come on, Sweets. It’s like when we were kids. I promise we won’t get kicked out, let’s just have some fun.” Jeremiah grabbed me around the waist and pulled my back against his chest. “Let’s just forget about the bad stuff and remember what it’s like to be a kid, Angel.” My heart caught in my chest when I thought about the childhood I hadn’t gotten to experience and all that Jeremiah had sacrificed because of Beckett. I knew he wouldn’t change a single thing, but I could tell that child inside of him was dying to let loose a little.
“Ok, I’ll play, but I don’t really know how to do this. When others were goofing off in party supply stores, I was….well, let’s just say I wasn’t goofing off.” I grabbed the mask and the sword and put them on. “Am I just supposed to poke you and run?” I asked as I jabbed the sword in Jeremiah’s gut. His answering oomph shocked me and I squealed as he lunged toward me. I darted around an end-cap and skipped a few aisles before taking refuge in the wig aisle. My heart was beating quickly and I was breathing hard. The anticipation of Jeremiah round the corner and finding me was almost too much to bear.
“Hmmm, I wonder where my Sweets is. She’s in trouble for poking me and running away. I’m the only one that gets to do the poking around here.” I couldn’t catch the giggle before it escaped when he referenced poking.
Knowing he was getting close, I snatched a brown wig from the display and put it on. I also donned a pair of 70’s style sunglasses and pretended to be perusing the merchandise as Jeremiah came around the end of the aisle.
“Excuse me, miss, have you seen a gorgeous blonde girl around here? She’s got a perfect body, hair like a sweet cotton candy angel, the sweetest laugh I’ve ever heard, and a heart of gold. Please tell me you’ve seen her.” Jeremiah was laying it on thick as he stood inappropriately close to someone who was supposedly a stranger; I was glad I knew that he’d already figured out it was me. On impulse, thinking only that I’d have to buy it later, I sneaked a mouth piece with fake teeth off the rack and slid it in my mouth. Praying that no one else had put this thing in their mouth, I got it situated and turned around to smile at Jeremiah.
Batting my eyelashes, I spoke as well as I could around the mouth full of teeth. “Well, hey there, stud. I haven’t seen a blonde beauty, but brunettes have more fun. What do you say, can I have a kiss?” By this point, I was having trouble talking over the giggles that were threatening to erupt, and he was full on laughing.
He nuzzled my neck and pulled me firmly against his chest. “What do we need to look for? Is there a dinosaur aisle we should head towards?” He rocked me back and forth a little and I decided that I’d just like to stand like this for a bit longer. However, I was feeling a little feisty so I decided that we could have a little fun before settling in to shop.
“Um, I need to go to the restroom first. Why don’t you browse around and see if you can find the dinosaurs and I’ll meet you there. If we get lost, we can text each other.” I said this as innocently as possible and leaned in to kiss him. I still held the teeth in my hand; I really needed a basket for these things! He grabbed around my neck and deepened the kiss. By the time we both pulled away, I wasn’t the only one breathing heavily. My cheeks flushed when an older employee cleared his throat and asked if he could help us. Busted! I turned and headed toward the restroom, leaving Jeremiah to fend for himself with the make-out police.
After finishing in the restroom, I gathered up a bunch of bouncy balls and started stealthily prowling around to find Jeremiah. I saw him wandering down an aisle so, hiding behind the end-cap, I threw a ball at his head. I’m pretty sure I heard him mutter, “What the fuck?” and I suppressed a giggle. I waited until I saw him enter another aisle and then I watched, being sure to stay undetected, until he turned his head slightly. Then BOOM! I tossed the ball and it hit him square in the butt. I couldn’t have done that again if I’d tried. This time, I know without a doubt that I heard him chuckle and his grumbly voice state, “Oh, you’re so going to get it, Sweets.” He headed toward where I was hiding so I sprinted three aisles over and ran down one, backtracking towards where I’d started. I assumed Jeremiah would keep heading in the direction I’d run, I thought backtracking was a smart move. And it was, for a moment or two. I was giddy with how much fun this was; I’d never had real friends growing up so I never goofed off like this, just having innocent fun. The fun I was having definitely wasn’t innocent fun. I’m pretty sure that Dr. Xander would say that today would be good for me; he would tell me that I
’ve mourned the childhood I lost and today was a day to celebrate by reliving something the way I should have as a child.
Lost in thought about how much fun I was having, I let my guard down. I didn’t check as I stepped from one aisle to head into another one; I heard a gruff clearing of a throat and froze. Turning toward the sound, I jumped a mile in the air and screamed when I saw a huge black gorilla peeking around the corner of a display only a foot away from me. Jeremiah was seriously wearing a full-body gorilla suit. And, our game of cat and mouse obviously wasn’t over. He headed towards me, clearly walking in character mode as his arms hung loose and he hunched over a bit. The faster I backed away from him, the faster he stalked my way. He started making these hilarious gorilla noises, grunting and pounding his chest. I cracked up when he started singing “Gorillas” by Bruno Mars. The gorilla cocked his head and looked at me momentarily. I knew what he was going to do a split second before he lunged at me. I screeched and turned on my heels and ran full speed down the graduation aisle. I heard grunting and other gorilla-ish noises behind me. Laughing and squealing, I careened around a corner and ran smack into the older gentleman who had caught us making out earlier. Of course, this made me jolt and scream again and I was now cornered between the old man and a rapidly approaching gorilla. I’m not sure which one I was more afraid of.
“Excuse me, Ma’am. Sir. But, I’m going to have to ask you both to refrain from putting the costumes on and please decrease the volume of your voices. We have shoppers here to do some serious shopping and your behaviors are quite distracting.” The sour-puss old man said this completely straight-faced and I could tell he was 100% no-nonsense about his responsibility to his serious party shoppers. Wait, serious party shoppers? Isn’t that an oxy-moron? At that moment, I looked up to see we were in the gag gift aisle and a couple of middle-aged women were holding up granny-panties and playing with whoopee cushions. I couldn’t help it, I totally lost it.
