The Innocent's One-Night Confession

by Sara Craven

  Never—never had she thought that they would meet again—and under such circumstances.

  And now, she had to begin again, excising him from her mind, and ignoring the sharp clamour of her senses.

  And I will do it, she told herself. Because I must.

  She arrived early at Gibby’s Place, which was already buzzing, but Alanna was shown to a reserved table by the window and ordered a mineral water while she waited.

  I could still avoid this, she thought. Text Joanne that I’ve had a family emergency and leave.

  She was reaching into her bag for her phone, when a girl’s voice said, ‘Alanna? I thought it was you. I’m so glad to see you.’

  She looked up and saw Gina Franklin standing by the table, smiling down at her.

  ‘Gina—what a lovely surprise. How are things?’

  ‘Well, that’s why I came over. I’m here with Barbara, the agent you recommended me to. We’re celebrating.’

  ‘You’ve sold the book!’ Alanna jumped up and gave the other girl a swift hug. ‘I’m delighted for you. I knew it would be snapped up.’

  ‘In the end, there was a kind of auction going on,’ Gina said in awed tones. ‘I could hardly believe it.’ Her face clouded a little. ‘But I wish Hawkseye had bought it, so I could still have had you as my editor.’

  ‘I wish so too,’ Alanna said with a sigh. ‘But it wouldn’t have happened. I’m no longer with the company.’ She forced a smile. ‘Pursuing other interests, as they say.’

  ‘So they were telling the truth,’ Gina said blankly. ‘You see, I rang Hawkseye earlier to tell you my news, and they said you’d left, but I thought that might be just a way of deterring writing pests.’ She shook her head. ‘And I thought you were so happy there.’

  ‘I was.’ Alanna patted her arm. ‘However, things change, just as they’ve done for you, but not always in a good way.’ She became brisker. ‘But that’s enough about me. Get back to your celebration, and congratulate Barbara for me. You both deserve this.’

  At last, some good news, she thought, as she resumed her seat. And now here comes Joanne, probably bringing the direct opposite. And she resolutely pinned on another smile.

  ‘It’s so good to see you.’ Joanne’s hug was warm. ‘I gather, as the old Chinese curse says, you’ve been living in interesting times.’

  ‘So it would seem.’ Alanna passed her a menu and subjected her own to an over-elaborate scrutiny, but Joanne was not deterred.

  ‘And Lili’s back in London. That must have given Grandam a nasty turn.’ She shook her head. ‘In fact, it really wasn’t her weekend, according to Aunt Caroline, who was on the phone to my mother for a full hour on Sunday morning, pouring out the grisly details.’

  She giggled. ‘Apparently Uncle Richard’s patience has run out, and he was threatening to forbid Grandam the house when Lord Bradham arrived and had the most almighty row with her. Told her she was to issue no more invitations to Felicity. That Gerard clearly did not care for her, and he wouldn’t allow his daughter to be humiliated any longer. And that maybe she should have learned her lesson with Marianne who, he realised, had been badgered and manipulated into accepting his own proposal.’

  She sat back. ‘How about that?’

  ‘And what did Mrs Harrington say?’

  ‘Not much she could say, for once. And, anyway, he didn’t give her the chance.

  ‘Following which Uncle Richard weighed in over some of the comments she’d made to you, and half an hour later she was on her way back to the abbey, in the most tremendous strop, declaring she wouldn’t be darkening any of her children’s doors again, if they allowed her to be insulted like that.’

  She giggled again naughtily. ‘Dad said he only wished he could believe it.’

  She paused to order a salad niçoise plus a glass of the house white, and Alanna, feeling battered, asked for the same.

  The wine waiter arrived almost at once, but bearing an ice bucket containing a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and two flutes.

  Alanna said quickly, ‘There’s been some mistake. We didn’t order that.’

  ‘No, madam. The ladies who were sitting in the corner had it sent over.’ He added, ‘And Mrs Fitzcraig also wished me to give you this.’ And handed her a business card.

  The message on the back read: I think you’d make a great agent. If you’re interested, please call me. It was signed Barbara F.

  ‘Wow,’ said Joanne, accepting one of the flutes. ‘What’s this all about?’

  ‘I think,’ Alanna said slowly, ‘that I’m being offered a job.’

  ‘Yes, I heard you’d left Hawkseye. Couldn’t face having Zan as a boss, I suppose. Yet Gerard seems to have survived, and Lili’s done the wise thing and got engaged to some Wall Street prince, so it should be plain sailing from now on.’

  She paused. ‘Did you happen to hear her fiancé’s name? In all the hoo-ha, Mother forgot to ask Aunt Caroline.’

  Alanna put her flute down carefully. She said, ‘But she’s going to marry Zandor. I thought you’d have realised that.’

  Joanne stared at her open-mouthed. ‘Marry Zandor,’ she repeated, then burst out laughing. ‘My God, Alanna, are you crazy? I know Grandam regards him as the son of Satan, but even she’s never accused him of incest.’

  ‘Incest?’ Alanna spoke hoarsely. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘I mean they’re brother and sister.’ Joanne shook her head. ‘Honestly, Alanna, how could you possibly not know that?’

  And she relapsed into more peals of helpless laughter.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  ‘SISTER?’ ALANNA REPEATED the word blankly. ‘But Zandor doesn’t have a sister. Gerard went all through all his immediate family with me before your grandmother’s birthday party and I swear he never mentioned her.’

  She paused. ‘In fact, apart from you, no one did. And I naturally assumed you were referring to one of Zandor’s girlfriends.’

  ‘Well that’s Grandam’s doing,’ Joanne said more soberly. ‘For her, Lili was in New York and never coming back, so she simply behaved as if she didn’t exist, and I guess we all followed her lead—as usual.’

  ‘Her own granddaughter?’ Alanna spread her hands helplessly. ‘But why?’

  Joanne hesitated, looking awkward. ‘Because Lili and Gerard were in love and planning to be married. And Grandam wouldn’t allow it. So, they split up and the whole subject became taboo.’ She hesitated. ‘I suppose Gerard hasn’t mentioned that either.’

  ‘Not in so many words.’ Alanna moved uncomfortably.

  His hidden side, she thought. Oh, Susie, how right you were.

  ‘But I saw how he reacted when she walked into your aunt’s house,’ she went on slowly. ‘And then she announced she was getting married—and she was with Zandor—and they were obviously close—so...’

  Joanne nodded. ‘So you put two and two together and made five plus. That figures. And Zan and Lili are pretty devoted, and not just because it’s always been the two of them against the Harrington clan. He’s quite a bit older than her, and after their parents died, he became her unofficial guardian.’

  ‘She’s incredibly beautiful,’ said Alanna. ‘Why was your grandmother so against the marriage?’

  Joanne shrugged. ‘Because they’re cousins, and Grandam’s rules forbade it. I did tell you how fanatical she was about blood lines and good breeding strains, and I wasn’t joking.’

  ‘But, if Lili and Gerard really loved each other,’ Alanna protested, ‘why didn’t they simply ignore your grandmother and run off together?’

  Joanne sighed. ‘Because she made it clear if Gerard disobeyed her, he wouldn’t inherit the abbey. She made him choose. The real rock and hard place scenario.’

  She frowned. ‘But I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. After all, you’re Gerard’s fiancée now, so this is all strictly history. That’s obviously what he wants.’

  Is it? thought Alanna, her mind still reeling. Somehow I don’t think so.

&nbs
p; Oh, God, what have I done? What have I done?

  Food had no appeal, but she forced herself to pick at her frankly delicious salad when it arrived, and help it down with sedate sips of champagne, letting her companion’s flow of conversation simply wash over her as Joanne moved seamlessly from her latest boyfriend to a speed-dating session she’d attended—‘Just for a giggle, darling, and it was dire—’ and on to a planned holiday ‘—an all-girls do in Barbados. Some friends of my parents are lending us a cottage on a beach. Can you imagine?’

  And gradually, almost imperceptibly the anguished question in her head changed to What can I do?

  Gradually a plan began to form, some parts of it easier to achieve than others, but all of it requiring her urgent attention.

  On the strength of which she ordered a lusciously dark and alcoholic chocolate mousse from the dessert menu and ate every last spoonful.

  Coffee, however, she declined, handing over her half of the bill plus tip.

  ‘It’s been great, and we must do it again soon,’ she said. ‘But I have a busy afternoon ahead.’

  ‘Following up the job offer?’

  ‘Almost certainly,’ said Alanna, and decided to dive in at the deep end. After all, she thought, remembering her conversation with Richard Healey, if you have access to a jungle drum, why not beat it?

  ‘But first,’ she said, sending Joanne a mischievous smile. ‘First, I’m going to break off my engagement to Gerard.’

  * * *

  Because she was in a hurry, she took a cab to Bazaar Vert.

  The driver showed no inclination to chat, so she was able to sit quietly and decide what she was going to say.

  It occurred to her that she hadn’t had much contact with Gerard in the past week. A snatched lunch on Monday, attended by some awkward silences, and a few texts were the sum total.

  So he might even welcome her decision, she thought, particularly in view of her rejection of his unexpected advances, which must have made it clear she was going to be no one’s consolation prize.

  Whatever his reaction, she was well out of it.

  Her withdrawal from the agreement was simple enough. Felicity Bradham was also out of his life for good, so they were free to go their separate ways. End of story.

  No questioning why he’d omitted Lili from the family tree because that might betray the fact that it mattered to her.

  And no querying the choice he’d made either. If he truly preferred that decaying heap of white stone to his living, lovely girl, then Lili was better off without him.

  But she now understood the inimical looks from those amazing blue eyes across the dinner table. Lili might now be engaged to another man, but it seemed there was still a residue of pain left over from her previous relationship.

  And I know all about that, she thought, flinching as the cab turned into the King’s Road.

  And from Bazaar Vert, she would go straight to Hawkseye Publishing to find Zandor.

  Not from any kind of hope for the future—she’d blown that out of the window pretty well—but to offer him an apology for the misjudgement she’d shown. The assumptions that she’d jumped to.

  And then, maybe, she’d find some way of starting over. Building a new life for herself.

  There was an odd atmosphere in the shop. She sensed it as soon as she walked in. There was no shortage of browsing customers, yet the staff, usually so attentive, were huddled together, talking quietly.

  Alanna walked up to the counter.

  She said politely, ‘Good afternoon. I’d like to speak to Mr Harrington, if he’s free.’

  The youngest assistant made a sound like a nervous giggle and received a quelling glance from the manageress.

  She said, ‘Perhaps you’d come with me to the office, Miss Beckett. I’m afraid you’ve found us rather at sixes and sevens.’

  A unique admission for a business that normally ran like clockwork, thought Alanna, but she followed the older woman to the office and watched, bewildered, as she gave an almost deferential knock before opening the door.

  ‘Miss Beckett,’ she said. ‘For Mr Harrington. I—I didn’t know what to say.’

  ‘That’s all right, Mrs Trevor.’ To Alanna’s astonishment, Zandor rose from behind Gerard’s desk and walked towards her. ‘I’ll explain to Miss Beckett.’

  Mrs Trevor nodded and backed out, closing the door quietly. Shutting them in together.

  But it shouldn’t be like this, Alanna thought desperately. I need to see Gerard first—to end this pretence once and for all.

  Aloud, she said, ‘Where is he? Has something happened?’

  He pushed a chair forward. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘Whatever it is, just tell me. Has—has there been an accident?’

  ‘Nothing like that.’ His eyes went to the opal ring on her left hand. Rested there. ‘He’s just not going to be around for a while.’

  ‘You’ve fired him?’ She swallowed. ‘Because of what happened with Lili?’

  ‘On the contrary.’ He paused. ‘He and Lili have gone away together, God knows where. Apparently they intend to get married by special licence. She left me a letter this morning.’

  For a moment, she felt stunned. ‘But she’s engaged to someone in America—isn’t she?’

  ‘She was.’ His mouth twisted. ‘There’s a letter for him too. Of course, I also have the privilege of telling the family, after which all hell will probably break loose.

  ‘But, with my usual selfish lack of consideration, I decided to sort out Bazaar Vert first. Get a new director in from the Paris branch and make sure it’s business as usual. After all, people’s livelihoods depend on it.’

  He paused. ‘And then I was coming to find you.’

  ‘Yes.’ She added slowly, ‘After all, you did warn me it would never happen—Gerard and me.’

  ‘You think I was coming to gloat?’ He shook his head wearily. ‘God, Alanna, you’ve been let down too.’

  The initial shock had worn off, leaving her with the sensation that a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

  She said, ‘That’s not true. Zandor, there was no real engagement. He just wanted me to pretend—to provide him with a temporary barricade against the Felicitys of this world. I was going to refuse, but then he jumped the gun with that announcement, so I—went along with it. Something I’ve regretted ever since.’

  She smiled. ‘But about an hour ago I heard Felicity was no longer a problem, so I came straight here to tell him it was over. Only he’s saved me the trouble.’ She transferred the ring to her other hand. ‘Therefore my grandmother’s trinket can go back where it belongs.’

  She paused. ‘And then I was coming to find you.’

  His gaze was steady. ‘May I ask why? Have you rethought the job offer?’

  ‘Oh, no. There’s a possibility I might become a literary agent instead.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘I wanted to see you—to apologise. For things I’ve said—the way I’ve behaved. It’s no excuse, but until an hour ago, I truly believed that you and Lili were—lovers. That the two of you were going to be married, yet you had no intention of being faithful. And I—I couldn’t bear it.’

  He said slowly, ‘That must have been a hell of an hour.’ He paused. ‘Let me understand this. Are you saying Gerard never told you about my sister—about what happened between them? Or that she even existed?’

  She shook her head, staring down at the carpet. ‘Not a word. And nor did anyone else. And I—I jumped to all sorts of stupid conclusions—and stayed with them, until today when I had lunch with Joanne, and she told me everything. And now I need to tell you that I’m so sorry.’

  There was a silence, then Zandor said, quite gently, ‘I’m afraid—I’m definitely afraid that’s not enough. And this is a conversation that should be continued elsewhere.’

  ‘No,’ she said, dry-mouthed. ‘Really. You have enough to do. And I’ve said all I meant to say.’

 
‘I hope that’s not true. In any event, it’s now your turn to listen to me.’

  He took her arm, steered her to the door and out into the shop.

  She tried to hang back. ‘Zandor—no. Please.’

  ‘You’ll come with me,’ he said. ‘Even if I have to carry you—and provide the staff with another sensation.’

  ‘But where are you taking me?’

  ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ They emerged onto the pavement, and he hailed a taxi. ‘We’ve wasted enough time, so we’re going back to where it all began, and where it should have continued. You and me. Together—for ever.’

  In the cab, he held her hand all the way to the hotel, and she could feel him trembling.

  She was shaking too, with fear, excitement and the first stirrings of hope as the lift carried them up to the penthouse.

  The suite looked exactly the same—as if the intervening months with their loneliness and misunderstandings had never existed—but she knew it couldn’t be as simple as that.

  She stood, facing him, in the middle of the sitting room. ‘You said you wanted to talk. I’m listening.’

  ‘I need you to answer a question. That night—as you were falling asleep—you said, “I love you.”’

  He flung his head back, the silver eyes anguished. ‘Alanna, I have to know if you meant it, or if it was just the sex talking. Because when you ran out on me that seemed the only explanation I could come up with. At the time I just lay there, holding you, suddenly believing in the age of miracles. Telling myself that you’d thought—that you’d known beyond all doubt, as I did when I first saw you—that here was the one. The only one.’

  A muscle moved in his jaw.

  ‘And that when I kissed you awake in the morning, you’d say it to me again—and smile. Only it didn’t happen. So, tell me—please—why did you go?’

  She said with difficulty, ‘Because I was confused—even scared by the way I felt about you. And though what happened had meant the world to me, for you it might just have been another one-night stand. And I—couldn’t bear that.

  ‘After all, I’d thrown myself at you and followed up by totally putting my heart on my sleeve, and I couldn’t risk you pitying me for me for making a fool of myself when you told me it was over,’ she ended with a little gulp.