Forevermore

by Cristiane Serruya

  He returned to his computer work, then after a short time in silence that quickly became awkward, he asked, “Was there anything else? Concerns or questions?”

  Ava told herself not to hesitate. Otherwise she’d never do it and it would haunt her the whole time. Just do it—like jumping in the ice cold lake back home. “Dr. Follett, I do have a concern—an ethical one. I met a man last night at Dr. Jenny Maguire’s birthday celebration at the Rose Bar. It turned into an impromptu date, and…” How do I say this? ”It turned…passionate—”

  “Doctor, I can see how easily a new relationship can be strained by a sudden departure, but what you do in your private life is…well, private. I’m sure that I’m not the right person—”

  “The man was Aleks—” she interrupted herself to finish lamely, “Mr. Maximilian.”

  “Oh,” Dr. Follett said, momentarily speechless at the unexpected revelation.

  “I didn’t know he was Olivia’s father or I never would have—I mean, it just wouldn’t have happened. Nothing would have happened if I had known. Then I saw him today in the meeting and that’s actually why I didn’t volunteer sooner. I didn’t know if I should. I still don’t know if it’s appropriate.”

  Ava felt better to a degree now that it was at least out in the open. She didn’t feel guilty. Or not as guilty as she had.

  “Have you and Mr. Maximilian discussed this and the ethical questions this relationship raises?”

  “We haven’t spoken since last night when he—”

  “I don’t need to know,” the doctor blurted, raising a palm.

  Ava blushed. “I was going to say, since he drove me home. And we’re not in a relationship, if that helps.”

  “Do you intend to be?”

  Ava didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t know what she intended. Or rather, she had no intentions. Her default course of action would’ve been to do nothing. She wasn’t looking to be involved with anyone. But Aleksander did have a way of maintaining a persistent presence in her mind since their good night kiss.

  “Ava? Are you planning on staying involved with him?”

  “I’m not planning anything,” she said, too abruptly and defensively and immediately regretted her tone. “I’m sorry. I just mean to say that I haven’t had the time or a chance to think about this at all. The only thought I had was to not volunteer and thus avoid any potential problem. But then I was sort of pushed into it—and I don’t mean that in a bad way—and now, here I am.” She gave a smile that pleaded for understanding and whatever guidance he could provide.

  Dr. Follett strummed his fingers against the solid oak desk as he searched for a solution. “I suppose if you and Mr. Maximilian discuss this before you fly to Nevada and come to an agreement that any potential relationship would necessarily have to wait until...the end of the assignment, then there shouldn’t be any issue, and I will keep this in my confidence.”

  “Thank you, doctor. That sounds so obvious, I should’ve thought of it myself. I probably would have,” she said, rising from her chair. If not for Brian making me feel like a cheap whore. “If I had just given myself more time. Thank you again, doctor. For everything.”

  Before heading out, Ava stopped in the women’s restroom and heard a woman cry out from one of the stalls. She set her purse on the sink counter and called out, “Hello?”

  No one answered, but Ava could hear heavy breathing. She imagined a woman in one of the stalls in a lot of pain, but too embarrassed to say anything. She decided not to force the issue and chose a stall with an open door. After she finished and was washing her hands, she could’ve swore she heard a giggle. She turned around and bent down, looking under the stall doors and saw four feet in one of them; men’s and women’s shoes. That pissed her off.

  She walked over and banged on the stall door. “Who’s in there?”

  Again, silence.

  “I know there’s a man in there, and this is the women’s restroom. Come out now or I’m calling security.”

  She heard a rustle of clothing, then the click of the lock disengaging after a moment.

  The door swung open and a nurse she didn’t know said, “We were just talking.”

  She stepped out of the stall and Brian came out with his shirt still out half of his trousers, which were just zipped but unbuttoned.

  He grabbed her arm and smiled sweetly. “It’s cool, Ava. We weren’t doing anything.”

  She shook her arm free from his grip. “It’s not cool, Brian. I don’t use the toilet in my own home with a man in the bathroom. I don’t appreciate the violation of what little privacy I have in a work restroom.”

  The nurse looked down at her shoes. Brian’s face turned red.

  “Okay. I get it,” he said. “I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.”

  “It better not. I’m sure Dr. Wang wouldn’t think it was cool that you were…talking in the ladies room.” Ava grabbed her purse and left.

  But she hadn’t taken two steps when she heard the nurse speaking, “Geez, that woman is uptight. Hasn’t she ever wanted to have a little fun at work?”

  Brian responded, “Dr. Larsen wouldn’t know fun if it came up and sucked her tit. She’s a Class A bitch. But now that’s she gone, where were we?”

  Openmouthed and stunned, Ava heard the stall door shut and lock. Oh, you stupid, spoiled brat!

  Standing in front of Dr. Wang’s office door to report on Brian’s disgusting behavior, Ava hesitated to knock. If there was a single human on the face of the planet capable of destroying a soul—and a career—with a glance, it was Dr. Paloma Wang. Oddly enough, the woman also possessed the ability to leave one speechless when she decided someone was good enough to be complimented on their work.

  Taking a deep breath, Ava knocked on the door and entered when Dr. Wang summoned her in.

  “Good evening,” Ava said lamely, and the sharp look she got in response made her regret bothering the doctor. Still, leaving suddenly would only make matters worse, so she closed the door behind her and spoke as fast as she could. “I wanted to report an ethical issue.”

  Dr. Wang sat back in her chair and removed her glasses, fully interested. “Go on.”

  “Well, I don’t mean to sound like a gossip telling on the other doctors or anything.”

  “Out with it, Dr. Larsen.”

  Ava swallowed hard. “Right. I just saw Dr. Brian Duncan and a nurse I didn’t recognize, uh, talking in the women’s restroom.”

  With a sardonic smile, Dr. Wang raised a thin brow. “Talking?”

  Damn. She’s going to make me say it out loud. “Well, I caught them having sex in a toilet stall.”

  Other than the slight narrowing of eyes and the subtle pursing of lips, Dr. Wang seemed otherwise unbothered, though Ava knew that such an act was unraveling the doctor at her core. “Is that all?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Thank you,” Dr. Wang said, replacing her glasses on the bridge of her nose and returning her gaze to her computer.

  “That’s it?” Ava asked, hating herself for not tucking tail and running while the air was still breathable.

  “That’s it, Dr. Larsen. I will look into the matter and make sure the proper actions are taken to ensure the integrity of our establishment. You may leave.”

  Ava didn’t wait another second and exited the room. Part of her hoped Brian wouldn’t lose his job over the issue, though if he did, he certainly brought it on himself.

  She put it out of her mind and instead thought of her own predicament. She needed to make sure she didn’t end up in a similar situation.

  And that meant resisting Aleksander’s charms and denying her urges for two, maybe three whole months, a feat Ava wasn’t sure she would be able to accomplish.

  Chapter 6

  Wednesday, November 11, 2015

  12:30 a.m.

  * * *

  Ava packed her bags quickly and efficiently and selected which books she wanted to take with her—mentally giving thanks fo
r wealthy employers and their private jets, since she loved to read in paperback and they were too heavy to carry around in airports.

  After a long shower, she curled up on her sofa with her laptop over her legs and Skype-dialed her grandmother, knowing she would already be awake by now.

  “Hello, Mormor,” Ava greeted, when her grandmother’s face appeared on the screen.

  “Hi, dear,” her grandmother responded, propping her iPad-Pro before her as she prepared breakfast.

  Hildegard Larsen had raised Ava and her brother since their mother had passed when they were young. Even now in her old age, Hildegard was as spunky and vibrant as ever, the opposite of Ava’s step-grandfather, Eirik Huitfeldt, who had a calm and introverted nature.

  Though Hildegard and Eirik had been together since Ava could remember, they weren’t married, and probably never would be. It was rare to find a love like theirs, Ava knew, and for a moment, she wondered if she would ever find a love that strong and true.

  Ava had been in love once—or thought that she was in love. Otto Grinberg was the handsome young professor in Law School at the University of Oslo—and a former football player—who all the other teachers and students had crushed on—even if they were from Medical School—but young, beautiful, and new-in-the-city Ava had been the one who caught his fancy.

  And Ava fell for him.

  Within a week, they were living together. He had rented an apartment for them in a tranquil neighborhood, since he lived with his elderly mother—or that was what he told her then. They talked, debated, studied, read. And made love constantly.

  It was the perfect fairy tale, but for one thing: he never spoke about marriage—not even when Ava accidentally got pregnant.

  How gullible she’d been. How many excuses she’d made—for him, for herself.

  She’d walked around for more than a year on clouds of happiness. When the clouds started to melt beneath her feet, she refused to look too closely, refused to acknowledge that the fairy-tale prince might be a toad.

  “Is everything alright, Elskede?” Hildegard asked when the silence had gone on for too long. “You missed my call last night and now you’re in a daze.”

  Ava blinked, wishing she could erase some of her bad memories out of existence. She smiled at her grandmother on the screen. “I’m fine, Mormor. I’m just a little tired. I went to a bar last night for a coworker’s birthday and that’s why I missed your call.”

  “I see. Well, I hope the man’s not an evil douchebag like Joffrey.”

  “What?” Ava said, wondering how she would have known about Aleksander. “What man? Who is Joffrey?”

  “You’re staring at the screen as if you’re looking at Stannis Baratheon’s naked body.”

  “Ugh, Mormor! You’ve got to stop watching all those shows, Nana. It’s affecting your vocabulary.”

  “No way,” replied Hildegard, who had a minor crush on that character. “So, who’s the guy?”

  Ava let out a small laugh. “Did I say there was a guy?”

  “I think so,” Hildegard replied airily, “but you wouldn’t have had to. There’s a sparkle in your eyes and your cheeks are pink.”

  “Personally, I attribute any sparkle in my eyes or color in my cheeks to the shower I just took,” Ava countered. Not that she discounted love’s power to create joy. Yet, the uncharted spaces within her that had been built to house love were sealed, darkened, and she was afraid to explore them once more; to learn just how vast and how achingly empty they truly were. And she was terrified to see that her heart wasn’t the only aching, empty place, that her soul was also a greedy void wanting to suck in every bit of love offered.

  “I know you, girl,” her grandmother insisted. “I know what that ass did to you, and I know what that look on your face means.”

  “His name is Aleksander Maximilian,” Ava finally said with a sigh.

  Hildegard stopped slicing the cabbage for the Fårikål, a common mutton stew she was preparing, and looked directly at her granddaughter. “And?”

  “And he makes me crazy, that’s what.”

  Hildegard beamed. “That’s a good sign.”

  Ava wondered if her grandmother would still be of the same opinion if she knew just how bold she’d been and that Aleksander was Olivia’s father. “I guess so.”

  “What does he do for a living?” Eirik asked, appearing from behind Hildegard on the screen.

  “Hey, Morfar.” It was a classic parental question, and though Eirik Huitfeldt was not her real grandfather, Ava didn’t take offense. “He’s a partner in a firm—Blackthorn Corporation.”

  Eirik whistled. “That’s the big time, all right.”

  “Ava doesn’t care how much money he makes,” Hildegard said with mock haughtiness. “She just wants his body. Just like her gran.”

  At this, Eirik blushed and Hildegard laughed out loud.

  Maybe some things stayed the same. “Mormor!” Ava protested.

  “It’s true.” Her grandmother winked at her and turned back to slicing.

  “It’s true that he has a great body, and he makes a lot money, but he’s also very intelligent and…interesting.”

  “Tell me more.”

  “Not much to tell,” Ava said, fighting the heat creeping up her neck. She’d done little else but think of Aleksander since yesterday. But she didn’t feel like telling her grandmother yet how things had developed. It was a sticky situation; not the stuff of light-hearted conversations. Well, Grams, it turns out we have amazing chemistry, but his daughter’s dying, and I’m one of her doctors, so he’s off-limits as long as she’s alive. The morbid train of thought made her shiver with guilt.

  “We had a Maximilian guy working for us in the seventies,” Eirik said.

  “It couldn’t have been the same Maximilian, Morfar, he was a child then.”

  “You’re right,” Eirik said, smiling at the screen the same way he would have if he were looking at her in person. “It couldn’t have been your Maximilian, but it might have been his father.”

  Ava gasped and her eyes went wide. “My Maximilian? There is no such a thing as my Maximilian.”

  Eirik ignored her comment just like Hildegard had. “He was American. I remember clearly.”

  “Well, his father did worked in Norway…” Ava yawned. “I’m going to go to sleep. I love you both and I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Ava slipped between the sheets with thoughts of Otto on her mind. She remembered as though it were yesterday how hurt she had been when she discovered his betrayal. She wondered how she could have been so easily duped by such a well-known male trick.

  And then she remembered how impacted she was by Aleksander—and aroused she was by his kiss and caresses.

  She didn’t know how she would separate things. The only thing she was sure of: it was a serious breach of professional ethics to get involved with her patient’s father.

  That doesn’t bode well for my career. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, yoga style, a couple of times.

  Soon, she was relaxed and sleeping, her dreams filled with the image—and touch—of Aleksander Maximilian. But the pleasure of Olivia’s father would have to remain confined to her dreams, if she valued her career.

  Dr. Charity Medley’s office

  7:00 a.m.

  * * *

  “Good morning.”

  Doctor Charity Medley’s voice cut into Aleksander’s woolgathering. He raised his head to look at her and stood up. “Good morning, Charity.”

  Dr. Medley was an attractive woman of about forty. Aleksander didn’t know her exact age, nor did he ever care to ask. What was important to him was that she had been highly recommended not only by the American Oncology Society as an esteemed psychiatrist specializing in psychoanalysis with training and expertise in working with families of cancer patients, but also referred by his mother-in-law as a someone he would like. And he did. He felt comfortable enough with Dr. Medley to let her help him through these horrible last few months of his
life.

  He entered her office and stopped for a few seconds in front of the hearth, watching the fake fire burning and putting some order in his thoughts, before he sat on the sofa in front of Dr. Medley’s armchair.

  “I’m going to Lake Tahoe today with Olivia.” A grimace of pain twisted his lips and his eyes filled with tears. “There is no cure for her and the doctors…”

  She nodded her head in encouragement as he worked to regain his voice. “The doctors?”

  “The doctors say there’s no hope for her. Nothing they can do, so she’s better off at home.”

  “Does she know?”

  “That she’s going home, or that there’s no hope for her?”

  “Unless you intend to start lying to her, the two are the same, aren’t they?”

  “She knows she’s going home—to the lake house—and she hasn’t asked why she’s being allowed to leave the hospital but she’s not stupid. I don’t know what or how much she knows about her condition, but she knows. We…just don’t talk about it. Not directly.”

  “I imagine that her doctors are candid but gentle with her.”

  Something changed in Aleksander’s eyes. It was just a brief flash, but Doctor Medley saw it before it was re-submerged beneath the anger, grief, and forced stoicism that was his normal presentation.

  “They’re very good with her. In fact, they’re so good that I’ve hired a team from the hospital to take care of Olivia at home.”

  “You’re very fortunate that the hospital made that possible. How were the staff selected?”

  “They asked for volunteers. Why does that matter?”

  “It’s important for you to like them if they’re going to be living with you. Are you satisfied with the volunteers?”

  Aleksander delayed in answering, covering his mouth with his hand spread wide over his face, then stroked downward over his beard.

  “Christ. I wasn’t going to talk about this, but what the hell. There’s a…challenging situation with the doctor who volunteered.”