Forevermore

by Cristiane Serruya

  “We have to go,” she said breathlessly. “Olivia might have awakened.”

  Aleksander, who had been about to say precisely the same thing, wasn’t sure that he liked being dismissed. Isn’t that my prerogative? Nor did he care for her heartfelt apology for rushing off because his daughter could awake.

  “Don’t you go thinking our conversation is finished,” he said, standing up.

  “What conversation?” she asked, feigning ignorance and adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

  He was standing a breath away from her, offering his arm for her to take. “The one you are avoiding.”

  She put her hand on the proffered arm and flashed him one of those smiles of hers, this time regretful. “I didn’t like the way the conversation was going anyway.”

  “You didn’t like the way the conversation was going anyway?” Talking to this woman was like taking a magical mystery tour. Aleksander had no idea what she would say next and he was beginning to think that, whatever it was, it would be unexpected and perhaps not always pleasant.

  “No, I didn’t. Besides, I am a woman of my own, out to live my life. I don’t need a man, a partner, much less a husband.”

  And the not-always-pleasant part was there sooner than he expected. No man? Not even me?

  When they were about to cross the street, a voice called, “Maximilian!”

  He turned to see Camden Cameron striding toward him, with his wife Jessica on his arm.

  “How are you, my friend?”

  “Hi, Cam,” he said, shaking the man’s hand. Cameron was an old friend. Aleksander had been best man at his wedding to Jessica, almost a lifetime ago. The two were still an attractive, vibrant couple, in their late thirties, he with dark hair and eyes, she with very fair coloring and hazel eyes, hardly changed at all since the day they’d said their nuptials. Aleksander could only think that he must look hardly recognizable.

  Jessica leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then switched her gaze to Ava.

  “Ava Larsen,” Aleksander made the introduction. As Ava reached her hand out and shook the woman’s, Aleksander explained, “Camden and Jessica are good friends of mine.” Then he turned back to them. “What are you both doing here?”

  Jessica lifted her arm, which was full of bags from the nearby boutiques. “Just what everyone else is doing here, I think!”

  They all laughed.

  The two men began to talk about old times—it was clear they’d gone to school together at one point, but it was all Greek to Ava. She could tell that whoever this man was, Aleksander was genuinely happy to see him.

  “It’s good to see Aleksander back in circulation so soon,” she confided in a whisper when the men walked to the balcony.

  Ava didn’t reply to the comment right away, but her gaze strayed to Aleksander.

  “I guess it’s been pretty hard for him,” she ventured, pretending to know more than she did.

  “The worst,” Jessica agreed. She pulled Ava a little distance further from the men. “We thought he’d never get over losing Rachel.”

  Uneasily Ava recalled the pale stripe Aleksander’s wedding band had left on his finger. Perhaps, she reflected warily, there was a corresponding mark on his soul. “They were very much in love?”

  Jessica nodded. “Oh yes. They were. They were preparing for the worst with Olivia, and then out of nowhere, the worst happened to Rachel. He had to stay strong for Olivia, but how does one recover from a blow like that? We honestly thought he never would. I don’t think I could.”

  Ava nodded, unsure what to say. She had her own scars, and though outwardly, she might have looked as though she’d recovered, some parts of her had never healed. Sometimes, it was just pushing through, day by day, no matter how much the memories hurt.

  “Have you been together long?” Jessica asked, just as Ava’s own memories threatened to creep in.

  Shaking them away she stared at the pretty woman with the large eyes. “Excuse me? Oh, no. He’s not in circulation like that,” Ava said quickly. “I’m Olivia’s doctor. We just came into town because we forgot lights for the tree and we stopped for cocoa.”

  Jessica blinked. “Oh?” She looked back and forth between them, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “You totally fooled me. I thought, with the way he was looking at you, and…”

  How was he looking at me? She felt her cheeks heating. “No. Really. There is nothing between us. I’m Olivia’s doctor.”

  “My mistake.” But there was something in the conspiratorial way she smiled that made Ava think she wasn’t convinced. “How is Olivia?”

  Ava sighed. Her terminal condition was really something her father should be disclosing to his friends, not her. “As well as can be expected,” she said, cringing at the way the cliché rolled off her lips. “She’s a darling little girl.”

  Camden and Aleksander approached at that moment. “Good to see you,” Aleksander said to them before they parted.

  As they waved goodbye, Ava whispered to him, “Jessica thought we were dating.”

  “Camden, too. What gave them that idea?”

  Then he looked at her, his brows lowered in a frown; his gaze scorching her from head to toe and back up to lock onto her eyes. And his tongue darted over his mouth, as if he could taste her desire on his own lips. What didn’t give them that idea?

  Something changed in the depth of the grayish-greens staring straight at her and she suddenly felt like a sparrow coming face-to-face with a very hungry, very big cat. It was as if their secret desire for each other having been assumed as an actual thing by a third party infused the idea with life and made it even more possible. More urgent and desired.

  He looked like some kind of wild animal, dangerous and hard, especially in this dark mood. Her hand itched to reach out and test the softness of his black buckskin jacket, which clung to his broad shoulders almost indecently, and then slid down over the white turtleneck covering and revealing his sculptured large chest and up to the tan of his face.

  A few seconds ticked by and he didn’t say anything. He just stood there staring.

  Making her feel intensely.

  Feeling what, exactly? Uncomfortable? No—and yes. Definitely uncomfortable.

  But there was also something more, something very different: a heated warmth, a searing longing. All the somethings she didn’t want to be feeling. Couldn’t.

  She cleared her throat. “I told her I was only Olivia’s doc—”

  He wrapped his fingers firmly around her wrist, his fingers saying what his mouth couldn’t manage.

  She jerked spasmodically away and his grip tightened in reflex. Large, warm, and strong, his hand held a power that told her she wouldn’t be breaking free—from what, she didn’t know.

  “Let them think what they fucking want.” Finally he shrugged—too forcefully—before letting her hand go. “And what if we were dating?”

  There was a hint of a snarl—of a challenge—in his voice.

  He can’t mean it. Her breath caught, her heart fluttered in her chest, her wrist tingling from where he had touched her. She saw now where that feral element had come from. He was angry at their self-imposed denial of their desire.

  He waited for her to say something, the void inside him screaming for an answer, for an echo of his own tormented feelings. He could see a flicker of emotion in her beautiful blue-green eyes—powerful and vulnerable at the same time—before she looked away.

  Don’t go blindly falling for a man’s charms. She had looked away, without even answering or commenting, not because she was ashamed at the way her thoughts and feelings were running riotously, but because she wanted to respond to the challenge and also because she didn’t need to revel in any fantasy of him desiring her. The only things men are good for are drinking, screwing, and turning a woman’s life to pure misery.

  With a sigh, she followed him to the car.

  Lies and deception were all she knew. She had thought Otto had burned her for good, leavin
g a mere tepid sexual desire she didn’t care much to satisfy and an even more tepid desire to tie her life to anyone else.

  Until now.

  Because there was nothing tepid about what she was feeling. Nothing tepid about the silent, brooding man behind the wheel.

  They barely knew each other; it was too soon.

  And it was forbidden.

  Nothing good could come from indulging in forbidden heated temptation.

  Could it?

  Chapter 16

  And again the drive took place in silence.

  When they arrived at the house, Aleksander immediately went to Olivia’s bedroom.

  Ava could hear his deep voice reading for her as she conferred with Sydney about the little girl’s health and then about inanities.

  When Kira knocked at her bedroom door, informing them Mr. Maximilian was waiting for her downstairs, Sydney told her she had already eaten with Olivia, and Ava almost excused herself and forwent dinner.

  She could still feel his fingers around her wrist, she could still see the turbulence in his eyes when he asked her what if they were dating. It made her want to hide.

  But never one to hide, she freshened up and soldiered on to the dining room.

  Even though Aleksander thought he had prepared himself, the sight of Ava climbing down the stairs to join him, sent a little shock down his spine.

  Not that she had changed her practical clothes—she was still wearing the same black turtleneck and charcoal straight trousers—nor had she unbraided her glorious mane of blonde hair.

  She still looked the stern and proper doctor. If not for the smile on her natural rose-pink lips that were oh-so-kissably full. And that small hint of intimacy—of impropriety—was enough to make him think of undoing her hair and kissing her.

  They ate in silence, the few words spoken a mere formality and deference to Matthias and Kira serving them.

  Aleksander set down his fork, lacking an appetite even though he wasn’t finished eating.

  He stopped fighting the need to look at Ava and he allowed his gaze to rest on her.

  Never in his life had he sat across from a woman more gorgeous than she. And she didn’t have a clue. She just had an undeniable sex appeal.

  She was taller than most women, with a curvy body, with large and firm breasts, her waist narrowed and blended into her hips like an fit hourglass—and oh so much sexier than any model—and ended in long legs that no practical or stern clothes could disguise.

  She was firm and decisive, and practiced her profession like a general in battle. Yet, there was something subtle and unconscious about her appeal; the tone of voice was soft and feminine, her caring smile to everyone, her constant concern for Olivia, and even the attention she gave to the worried, pregnant woman. Ava acted like a mother hen to all children and women—and also to some men, much to his chagrin. Not that he minded her tending Matthias, but he didn’t like the irrational twinge of jealousy he felt when he found her pampering his butler.

  It had not been a pretense for his—or anyone else’s—sake. Their feelings and physical well-being were always uppermost in her mind and she selflessly tended to them.

  Beyond that, she was soft-spoken, sometimes unsure and always classy.

  And beautiful.

  When last night he had caught her in the clothes she slept in—practical and comfortable as her day clothes—he had to physically flex his fingers to resist the urge to run his hand over her and feel her warm curves. She turned him on like no woman he knew. Much more than even Rachel, who had been the love of his life.

  He had never had a thought of replacing Rachel because he knew that no person could replace any other.

  But if I was in the market to find someone to step into the role Rachel has vacated? No one better than Ava.

  That caused him to consider whether he could love again and commit himself and still be devoted as he was to Rachel.

  Just thinking about the subject—and the possibility of it—was dizzying.

  He’d cross that bridge when he got there. If he ever did.

  He still felt that this was one hell of a mix-up and that she was what she said she was: a woman on her own, out to start fresh, not wanting or needing a man.

  Not wanting or needing me.

  Ava tilted her head to the side noticing his crossed silverware and barely touched food. “Aleksander?”

  Their gazes locked. He was too aware of her worried gaze, of her lips subtly parted.

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  He had to take a breath before he could answer, and when he did it was in a raspy voice, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get some air.” And some space.

  After checking on a peacefully sleeping Olivia, Ava donned her winter coat and crept out onto the patio. The cry of a hawk had her gaze lifting to watch it circle.

  As she followed it looping overhead, framed by a starlit midnight blue sky, she sighed.

  She couldn’t begin to understand her employer. One moment, he was laughing with her, leaning toward her, almost wanting her. The next moment, he was brushing her off, pushing her away, saying he needed air.

  She knew what he was going through wasn’t easy. She knew he was probably dealing with a million new emotions, warring with one another. But even though she’d dealt with her own demons, she couldn’t remember a time when she’d been so downright, well…infuriating. Hot, cold, inside, outside…he was never lukewarm. Aleksander only dealt in extremes.

  The wind whipped snow off the ground, sent it swirling around her like sparkling dust while her boots left imprints in the snow on the iron-hard ground.

  “Having a late night stroll, doctor?”

  Ava jumped as the disembodied voice startled her.

  She looked around, then spotted him. He was perched on the waist-high large rail fence, one foot on the center rail, the other one dangling.

  He was staring at her and watching her silently from the first moment she went out there.

  He looked her up and down. Wearing a heavy long wool black cardigan—and with her dammed hair braided—she looked ravishing under the moonlight. A woman who could bring him to his knees.

  Her clothes rustled softly as she approached him. Feminine. Soft. Stylish.

  Professional. Olivia’s doctor.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” he said. To cover his confusion at the undeniable attraction he felt for her, he flicked on his lighter and lit a cigar before exhaling a stream of smoke.

  It illuminated the strong features of his ridiculously handsome face in the shadows. A profile that held more than a hint of melancholy.

  “I didn’t know you smoked.”

  He glanced at its tip, then back up at her through the thin haze of smoke. “I don’t.”

  Well, you’re certainly smoking now. She stared with obvious puzzlement.

  “Only when I am…pensive.” He put the lighter back in his coat pocket and finished his brandy. Standing up to his full height, he stepped closer to her. “Aren’t you going to lecture me? Go on. The floor is all yours, doctor.”

  God, he can be moody; mean even. She opened her mouth just to snap it shut, feeling stunned. And then it dawned on her, he was as scared as she was.

  She smiled briefly then said, “If you’d like, but we could try talking about something unrelated to medicine and make it really feel like I’m not at work for a moment.” She smiled again, hoping to convey that it wasn’t that she minded being at work under the present circumstances.

  “Tell me about you,” he countered.

  Ava leaned back on the fence and examined the sky and stars again. In her mind she had drawn a line that would permit the informality of first names, but not include personal details. But the look on his face made her change her mind. Why not? “What would you like to know about me?”

  Aleksander blew smoke to the sky. “I guess the obvious—what made you choose medicine?”

  “You’ve asked me that already.” She laughed. �
��Plus, I thought we were going to try a different topic.”

  “You’re right,” he said with a self-mocking smile. “How about taking a walk and letting nature do the talking for a while?”

  More silence? “Sounds good,” she said, straightening up and letting him take the lead.

  He began walking, heading toward the back of the house.

  Not much of a walk. As she followed, she heard a flapping sound and looked down to see the sole of her right boot had come loose and now with every step, half the sole would roll under her boot then flip forward like a big leather tongue licking the ground.

  Darn it.

  Getting a new pair of boots had been on her mental To Do list, but at a very low priority. The flapping of her sole was annoying and forced her to keep her gaze on the ground, despite the temptation to keep looking up at the sky. She’d never seen so many stars since she left Trondheim—maybe not even then.

  Then they reached a trail and he moved a branch aside and held it till she was even with him before letting it swing back into place.

  Every breath was loaded with the scent of pine when finally, there was a clearing up ahead. Since the trail was on an incline, the view opened up to one of the most beautiful scenes she’d ever encountered: down below the turquoise and green lake waters shone clear and transparent under the moonlight.

  The next step she took with her right leg put her boot in line with a low branch sticking into the path and it caught between the hanging sole and the exposed bottom of her boot.

  Just as Aleksander turned to warn her of a small drop on the path, she continued moving forward without the benefit of her right foot coming with her as she expected.

  She tripped, fell down the drop he’d tried to warn her about, and collided with him.

  Both of them ended up sprawled on the fluffy snow a foot and a half below the end of the trail.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, as he held her firm.