Full Potential

by L. J. Kentowski

  “Bullshit.” He stood and stared down at her. “I don’t want to leave Seeton, Jena. My family is here. My friends. You. My life is here.”

  She took a deep breath and exhaled. “What if that’s only a safety net you don’t want to let go of? I know all about that, Tyler. Sometimes, you have to let go.”

  “I don’t want to let go.” He set his jaw, agitated over where the conversation was going. A pit had formed in his stomach, and it was bottoming out.

  Jena stood from the couch, keeping her eyes set on his as she did. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she moved in and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “I can’t be with you, Tyler, not like this. Not knowing you might be giving up so much because of me.”

  Tyler’s forehead tensed over his eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re breaking up with me?”

  She blinked back at him, hesitating. He wouldn’t give her the opportunity to say the words. Tugging her into him with a hand at her waist, he wrapped a palm around the back of her neck. “Don’t do this, Jena. You’re jumping to conclusions. This is way out of control.” He stepped closer to kiss her, but she pulled her head back.

  “I have to,” she whispered. “For both of us.”

  Tyler pressed his lips together, forced to breathe heavily through his nose. He didn’t realize he was squeezing the back of her neck until he noticed her wince, so he loosened his grip but didn’t let go.

  “This is a mistake, Jena. I’m not taking the job, and I’m not leaving Seeton, no matter what.”

  “I think that would be the mistake. You deserve your chance at a dream too.” She inched closer and laid her cheek against his. “I’ll miss you, Tyler,” she said softly into his ear, then pulled out of his arms and took a step away.

  “Jena, don’t do—”

  “Please, go.” She wouldn’t look at him.

  “Jena…” He tried moving into her line of sight, but she continued to glance everywhere but at him. After walking to the top of the stairway, she waited. Tyler let out a grunted breath. “I don’t believe this is happening.” She continued to stare at the wall by the stairs. He shook his head, knowing he wasn’t going to get anywhere with her. Not tonight anyway. Her mind was set. It was wrong, but it was set.

  His feet shuffled across the living room, and he stopped in front of her. “You wonder why I kept the letter from you. This is why, Jena. This is why.”

  Then he left, slamming the door on his way out, thoroughly pissed about what had gone down. Jena was wrong. Completely and epically wrong. What they’d had in Seeton these last few months was how they were supposed to be. It was a lesson. But not the lesson she’d assumed. No, to him, it was a lesson in love. And yes, now that everything had been laid out on the line, he could admit that. He loved her. And love wasn’t something he could walk away from. He wouldn’t walk away from it.

  He wasn’t going anywhere.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Jena didn’t go to the Coles’ barbecue the next day. She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Tyler. It was hard enough thinking about what she’d done, breaking off whatever she’d had with him, being around him so soon would tear her heart apart. He’d want to argue with her about the decision she’d made, and to be honest, she didn’t know if it was the right choice. Regardless, she had to give him the chance to deliberate the job offer without her influence.

  Riley challenged her, both about skipping the barbecue and the breakup, arguing that she should be talking with Tyler, not shutting him out. “Couples make decisions together,” she’d said. While true, Jena simply didn’t think they’d had enough experience as a couple for that to apply.

  Their time apart would give her the chance to clarify her stance. She hadn’t forgotten about the choices left waiting for her to make. With Tyler’s situation practically mirroring her own, it became clear she needed to reevaluate the reasons for staying. Was she really choosing her dreams, or Tyler?

  He was relentless throughout the next several days, calling and texting nonstop. He showed up at the apartment several times, but she didn’t answer the door, choosing to huddle on the couch or bed until the doorbell and knocking ended. Either he’d given the key back to Riley, or he was gentleman enough not to use it. Those were the worst times, when the most tears fell, knowing all she had to do was answer the door, and he’d be right back in her arms. But she couldn’t do it, wanting to be strong enough for both of them.

  Jena continued planning the wedding with Riley, avoiding Tyler on any and all occasions. There were a few chance encounters since Seeton was so small, but as weeks passed, she received fewer calls until Tyler eventually seemed to disappear altogether. She’d expected to be relieved by his resignation but found herself missing those times when she knew he was thinking of her.

  Had he forgotten about her? Accepted the position in Madison and moved on? Wasn’t that what she wanted?

  The doorbell rang one morning as she was getting ready for a day of babysitting Hannah while Zane worked. Her heart raced, wondering if it was Tyler, but when she peeked through the window blinds, she spotted Lynn Cole waiting at the door.

  She’d managed to avoid Tyler’s mom, almost as much as her son, except for the one time she’d gone to the shop with Riley to confirm the dress alterations were accurate. Nothing had been said about Tyler, or Lynn’s offer. With his mother at her apartment door, alone, Jena knew her time was up, probably in both regards.

  “Lynn, hi,” she said, opening the door. “How are you?”

  “I’m good, dear. Do you have a moment?”

  “Um…sure. I’m sitting for Hannah soon, but I have some time.”

  “Oh, Zane’s daughter. She’s a lovely girl.”

  “She is.” Jena moved aside. “Come on in.”

  Lynn climbed the stairs with Jena in tow, dreading what was to come. Once they reached the living room, Jena offered her something to drink.

  “Oh, no, thanks. I won’t keep you long.” She took off her coat and sat on the couch. “I was only wondering whether you’d come to a decision about the shop. I don’t want to pressure you, but we’re nearing a deadline to put it up on the market if you decide not to take it.”

  She took a seat in a chair near the couch. “I’m sorry, Lynn. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting so long. I just…”

  Lynn’s gaze softened as she put a hand on Jena’s knee. “Are you confused because of what’s happened with you and Tyler?”

  “Not really. Well, sort of. It has to do with Tyler, but I’m not the one who’s confused.”

  Her eyebrows pinched together. “So, Tyler’s confused?”

  “I think so.”

  “You think so?”

  Jena sighed, not exactly comfortable airing Tyler’s business, but the position she was in didn’t give her a choice. “Do you…um…do you know he was offered a position in Madison? With the fire department? A job he’d applied for a while ago, apparently?”

  Lynn settled into the couch, seemingly relaxed by the news, the opposite reaction Jena had expected. “Of course, I know, dear.”

  “Oh, well—”

  “It’s one of the main reasons I offered you the shop.”

  “Wait. What?”

  “Giving you the shop was a way to get Tyler to stay in Seeton.” Lynn uttered the words as if her rationale made sense.

  “I don’t understand,” Jena said with a shake of her head.

  “I knew if you stayed in Seeton, he would too. Both Richard and I want Tyler here in Seeton where he belongs. Wade too, for that matter.”

  She gaped, too speechless to say anything for a time. “No offense, Lynn, but isn’t that their decision to make?”

  “Of course, it is. And I can tell you this, because a mother knows, the only thing that would tempt them to leave is if neither of them could find a woman here in town to settle down with. Quite frankly, Seeton doesn’t have enough of them. Not the kind who can keep my boys tied down anyway.”

  Jena opened her mou
th to say something, what, she didn’t know, but she didn’t get the chance.

  “You, Jena, are the one for my Tyler. I suspected it early on from the way his eyes lit up whenever your name was mentioned, but then I met you that night at Beckett’s, and I wanted it to be true more than ever. When Tyler showed up and set his sights on you, I knew you were it for him. The only thing I had to do was to get you to stay. Not that I don’t think the daycare is a good idea, of course. As a matter of fact, I think it’s a great idea. Seeing you around children”—she placed a hand on her chest—“oh, that’s only going to make my boy want to have my grandbabies faster than I’d hoped.”

  Okay, it was confirmed, Tyler’s mom was some kind of psycho, one with a cupid complex, apparently. She was manipulating her own son to get him to stay close to home. And using a woman, her, to do it. Wasn’t that pimping? Was she really being pimped by Tyler’s mom?

  “No disrespect, Lynn, but I don’t think that’s the right way to go about this. Tyler deserves the opportunity to give his dream a shot, wherever it may be. Only then will he know what he truly wants. His decision shouldn’t be influenced by me…or you.” Jena mumbled the last part, uneasy calling out Tyler’s mom.

  Lynn studied her for a moment. “Is that why you broke up with him?”

  “Yes.”

  “And that’s why you’re waiting to give me an answer on the shop.” It was a statement rather than a question, but Jena nodded in agreement.

  “If he thinks I might not take the offer and go back home, he may be more willing to accept the job.”

  “Don’t you love him?”

  “Well, of course, I love him. I just—”

  His mom’s smile grew so big, Jena was sure the woman’s cheeks ached.

  “Why are you smiling like that?” She clamped her lips together, a gazillion watt light bulb hitting her over the head. Holy shit. She’d admitted to his mom, and herself, for that matter, that she was in love with Tyler. Dropping her chin, she watched her fingers fiddle around in her lap, too embarrassed, and quite frankly shocked, to face Lynn at the moment.

  “Can I give you some advice, dear?”

  Jena lifted her head to meet the woman’s gaze. “Yes.”

  “Home is not where you unpack your bags. It’s where you unpack your heart. The scenery never changes because you’ll always be gazing into the eyes of the person you love. It’s what I’ve taught all my kids from a very early age, and they’ve learned they’ll always find a home no matter where they go. Tyler knows where his home is, Jena. And soon, you’ll know also.”

  Too overwhelmed to speak, Jena sat and stared, wondering what the hell had just happened.

  “I’ll go forward with the assumption you’ll be taking the shop. You don’t have to formally answer me yet. I merely have a feeling you’ll be contacting me soon, and I always go with my gut.”

  Even if Jena wanted to argue, she knew it would fall on deaf ears. “Okay.”

  Lynn put her coat on, and they both walked to the stairs of the apartment.

  When they reached the top step, Lynn placed a hand on Jena’s shoulder and said, “You remind me a lot of myself at your age, Jena. That’s how I know you and my Tyler are going to find happiness together. Take care, dear.”

  “Thank you, Lynn. You too.”

  Once his mom was gone, Jena’s mind wouldn’t stop racing. She’d thought she had all the answers, convinced she knew Tyler better than he knew himself. But she was wrong. So wrong. How could anyone know someone else if they don’t even know themselves?

  She loved him. It had taken a slip of the tongue to realize it.

  But now that her heart was out in the open, what in the hell was she going to do with it?

  ***

  Struggling to figure out what to do about her not-so-newfound love of Tyler Cole, Jena didn’t realize the time and ended up arriving ten minutes late to Zane’s house. He answered the doorbell within seconds as if he’d been watching for her.

  “I’m so sorry, I’m late,” she said.

  “No problem at all,” he said with a comforting smile. “Come in.”

  She stepped into the house and took off her coat. “I hope you don’t get in any trouble.”

  “Trouble?”

  “At work.” She regarded his confused features. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble at work.”

  “Oh, yeah, no. It’s fine. I’m kind of the boss anyway. So, um, Hannah’s in the kitchen. She’s waiting for you. I’ll just…I’m going to go.” Keys already in hand, Zane hadn’t moved away from the opened door of the house, and it appeared as if he were simply going to walk right out.

  Spotting his doctor bag on the entryway table, she pointed to it. “Aren’t you forgetting your bag?”

  He stared at the item, seemingly puzzled again. She wondered if he was feeling all right.

  “Oh, yeah. Okay.” Racing over to the table, he grabbed it and hustled back to the door. “I’ll be home…uh…after work. Thanks, Jena.”

  Then he was gone.

  Jena shook her head, wondering what the hell was up with him. He was usually quite composed.

  Setting her purse on the table, she made her way to the kitchen. “Hannah,” she called, pulling out a roll of ribbon she’d bought at a craft store in town from the tote hanging on her shoulder. “I have a fun project for us to do.”

  “I can think of a few ways to use that.”

  Jena froze at the male voice in the kitchen, a hand flying to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. “Tyler? What are you doing here?” She glanced around the kitchen. “Where’s Hannah?”

  The guilty expression Tyler wore told her Hannah wasn’t there, nor was she going to be.

  “You and Zane set this up.”

  He nodded.

  With a shake of her head, she huffed out a breath and cast her gaze down at the floor. She was still reeling from his mom’s visit, and definitely not prepared to talk to him yet.

  “You gave me no choice, Jena.”

  His voice seemed closer, so she lifted her head and realized he was standing right in front of her, only a foot between them.

  “I only want to talk.” He put his hands in the pocket of his jeans, as if to emphasize the truth of his words.

  She let out a long, steady exhale, relieved with his promise because she didn’t think she could handle his touch after being without it for so long. Breathing in his woodsy, clean scent, the same one she’d smelled on her pillows at night before falling asleep, was hard enough to handle. If he laid one finger on her skin, she feared she may melt right there on Zane’s kitchen floor.

  Eyes aimed back at the floor, she whispered, “Okay.”

  Tyler leaned down until he caught her gaze. “Okay?”

  She took a moment to appreciate the beauty of his features. He was so goddamn perfect. How in the hell did she stand a chance against him? Half in a daze, she nodded.

  Pointing to the living room, he asked, “Can we…out there?”

  “Sure.”

  He waited for her to lead the way and followed behind. She didn’t trust herself too close to him, so she sat in a chair beside the couch. Tyler watched her as if contemplating her move and took a seat at the corner of the sofa nearest her.

  Jena played with the hands in her lap, trying to get them to stop shaking. This was ridiculous. Why was she so nervous?

  “Can you look at me?” Tyler asked.

  Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. Their eyes connected, and he flashed a small smile.

  Simply seeing his lips lift made her weak. Thank God, she was sitting down.

  “I miss you,” he said.

  Her heart beat like a low bass drum, vibrating through every single part of her body.

  “Tyler—”

  He put a hand up. “Just…hear me out, okay?”

  She nodded.

  “You broke up with me because you thought it would make things easier for me to take the job in Madison, that it was my dream job o
r something. But that rash decision you made for both of us didn’t work out as planned. I can’t think of anything but you, Jena. I’m going crazy missing you. All this breakup has done is make me realize it was never about leaving Seeton or wanting a more exciting job. It was always you. I applied for those jobs because I couldn’t get you out of my head and needed a replacement. This time apart you’ve forced on me has only verified one thing—that nothing can replace you. I’m not going anywhere, Jena. That dream you think I have, it’s you. You’re my dream.”

  Jena’s chest heaved from breathing so fast, trying to hold back tears his words were eliciting. They were everything she’d wanted to hear, but she couldn’t stop worrying he might not be thinking clearly. She was so afraid one day he would regret giving up the opportunity and blame her for it. She couldn’t live with that burden.

  “Don’t you even want to give it a chance?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “No. I’ve made up my mind, Jena.”

  “What if I don’t stay? Would you take the job?”

  Tyler’s eyes blazed. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare give up the chance to follow your dream because you have this ridiculous idea I’m giving up mine. I told you, Madison is not my dream.” His voice grew louder. “Christ, Jena, what do I have to say to make you see that?” He had started to get up but dropped back onto the couch, both hands gripping the edges of the cushions beside him.

  “It’s…I’m scared,” she said.

  “Scared of what? Us?”

  “Maybe. And regrets.”

  “Your regrets or mine?”

  “Both.”

  He fixated on her, biting his lip, nostrils flaring with every breath as if he was desperately holding back. Finally, he said, “Worrying about the future only makes you miss what’s right in front of you. I don’t want to live that way. You shouldn’t either because you’re missing out on how great we can really be.”

  She didn’t know what to say. What she really wanted to do was jump onto his lap, forget about her concerns and do exactly what he said—live for the day, be happy with him. And maybe she would, but not yet. “I still need time to think, Tyler.”