For the Love of Grace: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 2)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “I know, right?” Makayla shot her a grin. “I was surprised too.”

  “With who?” Grace suddenly felt totally out of touch with her friends’ lives. It was a pretty stark reminder that life was still going on around her. Without her.

  “Surprisingly enough, an athlete,” Makayla said.

  “Really? I thought that was a definite no-no on Tami’s list. What changed her mind?”

  “A soft-spoken wide receiver whose faith is important to him. Apparently, he’s also persistent. Tami said he’d been asking her out for a few months now.”

  “Wow. Have you met him?”

  “Yes. He’s part of Bennett’s Bible study, and I had a chance to meet him when Bennett hosted a dinner for the guys one night. He also attends our church when he’s not playing a game.”

  “I guess Franklin would have known him as well?” Grace asked.

  “Yes, probably,” Makayla said. “He’s been part of the study for three or four months now.”

  The revelation caused Grace’s chest to tighten. It was a reminder of how poorly she and Franklin had always communicated and how, even with the changes in Franklin’s life, they had still been learning how to improve that part of their relationship.

  “Do you want to come hang out with me tonight while she’s on her date? Then we can drill her for the details when she gets home. I’ll order pizza, and we can watch a movie.” Makayla reached out to lay a hand on her knee. “Nothing serious unless you want it. Just us hanging out like old times.”

  “Ethan doesn't want to spend time with you?”

  “Not tonight. I think he and Bennett are helping someone from their group with a move or something.”

  Grace let the idea sit in her mind for a moment, weighing her reaction to it. The pros. The cons. “Okay. That sounds…good.”

  She waited for Makayla’s happy exclamation, but instead, her friend just said, “You still want a Hawaiian pizza?”

  No, her stomach quickly protested the thought of such a combo. “I think I’ll just go for a cheese pizza this time around.”

  “Cheesy crust?”

  “Yes, please.” Now that her mind had focused on a pizza loaded with cheese, she felt like she couldn’t wait until later to eat it. Hopefully, she’d be able to find something equally as appealing at the restaurant for lunch. It was weird how she could go from no appetite to starving within minutes—with bouts of nausea in between. “Guess Bennett picked the restaurant today, eh?”

  Makayla laughed as she swung her car into a spot in the parking lot next to Montana’s. “Yeah, although Ethan and Tristan didn’t object.”

  They got out of the car and joined the men where they stood next to Bennett’s truck. Inside the restaurant, they found that Steve and Emily were already there with Mitch—Makayla and Bennett’s step-brother—and had a table for them all.

  “So good to see you, sweetheart,” Emily said as she pulled Grace in for a hug. The soft scent of her perfume enveloped her. It was a scent that Grace would always associate with Emily. “Here, sit next to me.”

  Grace wondered if she was going to have to endure a lunch filled with questions about how she was doing, but she was pleased when Emily’s conversation centered around Makayla and Ethan’s wedding. She found herself laughing as Emily shared her ideas for what she thought Makayla should do.

  “I think we could go to some florist shop—or maybe Michaels or even the craft aisle at Walmart—and make the bridesmaids’ bouquets. Wouldn’t that be a nice touch? Making each one specifically for a bridesmaid.”

  “No, Mom.” Makayla rolled her eyes. “No fake flowers. Absolutely no fake flowers. We can order special bouquets using real ones.”

  “I suppose you don’t want my input on the bridesmaids’ dresses either,” Emily said.

  “You’re coming with us to try on dresses, so of course you’ll have input. But no big fluffy dresses in bright pink.”

  Grace turned and frowned at Makayla. “But what if I want a big fluffy dress? I think we should go for a princess ballroom style for all of us.”

  Another eye roll along with a shake of her head. “I know you guys are just messing with me, but it would serve you both right if I took you up on these suggestions.”

  It felt good to laugh. For just a moment to forget that this wasn’t just any Friday lunch with the people from the office. It wasn’t unusual for Franklin not to be present at something like this. So the loss wasn’t as apparent as they talked and ate and enjoyed their time together. Grace knew it wasn’t something that would last. There would come another moment when the huge hole would come front and center again, but for right then, she would embrace the moment.

  Later that evening, as she and Makayla sat on opposite ends of the couch, each with a plateful of pizza, Grace found that the moment had continued. They’d found a movie that made them laugh as they ate, but every once in awhile, a thought would cross Grace’s mind.

  Is it too soon?

  Too soon to be having moments that weren’t saturated by grief? Too soon to be smiling? Too soon to be laughing at funny movies?

  She didn’t know.

  The only thing she did know was that if she didn’t surface from the sea of grief every once in a while, she was going to drown. Maybe others knew how to survive under water in that sea, but she didn’t. In some ways, it seemed to almost be getting worse. The numbness from the shock of everything was wearing off, which meant that the grief was deeper and larger than it had been right after Franklin had died.

  She knew that Makayla would never judge her, and because of that, she relaxed and for the moment, pulled herself up out of the sea of grief to hang around the edge of it for awhile. It would be waiting for her at the end of the evening, and she would slip back into it because it didn’t feel right in her heart to leave it completely just yet. Maybe she never would. Though she and Franklin’s love hadn’t been as deep or as strong as others’, it had been growing and changing. She would probably forever mourn the loss of what it might have become.

  “I took a pregnancy test,” Grace blurted out as she looked at Makayla.

  5

  Makayla froze, the end of her slice of pizza drooping . “You took a pregnancy test?”

  Grace nodded, picking at the cheese on her piece.

  “And?” Makayla lowered her pizza back to her plate and turned to face Grace more fully. “Was it negative?”

  Unable to hold her friend’s direct gaze, Grace focused on the movie that was now more background noise than anything else. “I don’t know.”

  There were a couple moments of silence. “You don’t know?”

  “I didn’t look at it. I took the test but then turned it over and left it on my bathroom counter.”

  “Is there a chance it might be positive?”

  Grace hesitated to nod because this was something she hadn’t discussed with Makayla—the fact that Franklin had been eager to start a family. When they’d gotten married, one of the things that had been a definite point in Franklin’s favor, when so many other things hadn’t been, was that he hadn’t wanted children. Grace hadn’t really changed her mind about it completely like Franklin had, but she’d allowed him to convince her that they needed a child to complete their family. They’d been trying for a couple of months before the accident, so yes, it was possible she was pregnant.

  She didn’t want to be though. People would tell her how fortunate she was to still have a piece of her husband to hold, but she’d much rather have had him…or nothing at all. Did that make her a horrible person? Probably to a lot of people it would, but she had her reasons.

  “Yes. There’s a chance.” Grace felt it then. The edge of the sea of grief lapping at her toes, eroding the sand beneath her feet and drawing her back in.

  As if realizing that the chance of a positive pregnancy test didn’t bring Grace joy, Makayla paused the movie. Then she reached out and grabbed Grace’s plate and set it with hers on the coffee table. Next, she settled on her knees
in front of Grace and took both her hands. And waited. When Grace looked up, Makayla was blurry through a wash of tears.

  “When you decide to turn that test over, if you want company, you know I’m there.” Makayla paused. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Grace shook her head, the movement spilling tears down her cheeks. “Not right now.”

  She felt Makayla’s hands squeeze hers briefly before releasing them. “Then we won’t. We’ll keep watching our movie and eating our pizza. However, if you change your mind, you only have to say the word.”

  Makayla got to her feet, handed Grace her plate and sank back down onto the other end of the couch with her own plate. When the movie started up again, the sea of grief receded, leaving Grace to feel as if the ground beneath her was solid once again.

  Once the movie ended, Grace didn’t want to leave so happily sat with her feet tucked up under her, listening as Makayla chatted about things that were going on with her younger sister, Danica, and Ethan’s younger sister, Sierra. Grace thought of the girls as her own sisters, so enjoyed hearing how things were going with them.

  They were in the middle of discussing the roles the girls were going to play in Makayla and Ethan’s wedding when the door to the apartment opened. Grace glanced over to see a sudden influx of people. Tami led the way followed by a large, dark-skinned man then Ethan and Bennett.

  Ethan walked right to the couch and leaned over to give Makayla a kiss before holding up a bag. “I brought ice cream.”

  Tami came around to give Grace a tight hug before letting her go. “Well, I think Makayla made brownies earlier today so we could eat those with the ice cream.” She turned to the man behind her. “Oh. Keenan, do you know Grace?”

  The man shook his head as he looked at Grace. His brown gaze softened as he reached out to take her hand, grasping it between both of his. He dropped to his haunches beside her, bringing him to eye level with her. “We never had a chance to meet, but I did know your husband, and I’m so very sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you.” Grace had no idea what else to say to this giant of a man who was holding her hand so gently.

  “I wasn’t able to attend his funeral since I was out of town, but my thoughts and prayers were with all of you.” He gave her hand a squeeze before letting go and straightening to his impressive height.

  Grace gave the man a smile as she thanked him again then her gaze went to Tami. The expression on her friend’s face as she stared at Keenan was something Grace hadn’t seen from her in a very long time. After the heartbreak Tami had suffered in her early twenties, she had steered clear of serious relationships. It looked like maybe that was about to change.

  Makayla pushed up off the couch. “Why don’t you all have a seat, and we’ll dish up some brownies and ice cream. Everyone up for that?”

  Bennett settled into the recliner in the corner while Tami led Keenan to the loveseat. Bennett and Keenan talked about the upcoming football game, and Tami appeared far more interested in the sport than Grace had ever known her to be. Ethan and Makayla came back shortly carrying a couple of trays with bowls of ice cream and brownies. They set the trays on the coffee table and then handed out the bowls, spoons and napkins.

  Grace took the bowl Ethan held out to her. “Would you like a cup of coffee, Grace?”

  “Thanks, but no,” Grace said. She wasn’t sure that it was the best idea to keep drinking it without knowing the results of the pregnancy test for sure. She took a bite of the ice cream, relishing the cold as it melted on her tongue.

  Once everyone had been served, Ethan settled into the opposite end of the couch while Makayla curled up between him and Grace. Conversation flowed around her as she took small bites of the brownie and ice cream. She looked around at the people in the room, her gaze settling on Bennett as he smiled at something Keenan said.

  She wondered if he and Ellie were still together. It would seem that she should have been there with him that evening. Though Grace really didn’t have the right to much of an opinion where Bennett and his girlfriends were concerned, she really felt that he deserved someone better than Ellie. The woman’s distant and sometimes outright rude personality just didn’t seem to jive with who she knew Bennett to be. He needed someone who would mesh well with his family, and Ellie did not seem to be that person.

  Bennett looked at her, and their gazes met for a moment before she lowered hers to the bowl of ice cream and took another bite. There were times over the years when she missed the friendship that she’d once had with him. However, she had no one but herself to blame for the tension between them now.

  Bennett scraped the bottom of the bowl for the last bit of ice cream and brownie. As he sat there surrounded by couples, he considered how things might have been different between him and Grace. That made him wonder if perhaps he’d made a mistake in agreeing to Ethan’s invitation when the move they’d been helping with had wrapped up earlier than they’d thought it would.

  Though he tried to relegate how he felt for Grace to the past, at moments like these, it was hard. He had long held feelings for her. From the day Makayla had brought Grace home with her from school so they could work on a project together, Bennett had fallen head over heels for her.

  She’d had a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh. Once he’d learned a bit about Grace’s background and the losses she’d endured, her smiles and laughs had made even more of an impact on him. There had just been something in her that drew him to her.

  At first, he’d been happy to just have her friendship, but then he’d found the courage to ask her out. She’d agreed at first, but before they had a chance to spend time together, her grandmother had gotten sick, and Grace had pulled away from him. Not only had they not gone on a date, but she'd also backed away from their friendship as well.

  To this day, Bennett didn’t understand why. She’d still had a special place in his heart, for a lot of years now. Working together as well as having her around even during their social times had made it difficult to put distance between them. A clean break from Grace might have killed those feelings, but instead, he’d spent the years alternating between accepting that the feelings would always be there and searching for the one woman who would mean more to him than Grace did.

  It hadn’t happened yet.

  If he were to be totally honest, he’d continued to have feelings for her even after she’d married Franklin. It had been a knife in his heart when she’d gotten married to the man. Bennett hadn’t been able to grasp why Grace had chosen a man who had treated her the way Franklin had. If she’d married someone who had treated her the way Bennett would have, he might have been okay with her marriage. But since she hadn’t, he had struggled to support the union.

  When he’d seen Ethan come alongside Franklin and try to befriend him, Bennett had just shaken his head. Though Franklin and Ethan had had a few encounters that hadn’t been positive shortly after the two of them had met, Ethan persisted. Bennett hadn’t been sure what to make of it. He’d been a Christian longer than Ethan and had prayed for Franklin since he and Grace had gotten married, but honestly, he really hadn’t believed that Franklin would—or could—change.

  Seeing that metamorphosis had been a wake-up call for him. And it wasn’t long after Franklin had started attending the Bible study he led that Bennett had finally made a real effort to put aside his feelings for Grace, and he’d begun to root for her and Franklin. It had been in just the last six months that Bennett had felt that he was truly free from the feelings he’d had for Grace for so long.

  As he looked at her now, though, he tried to only think about how he could be a good friend to her. He had a feeling she’d need that more than anything in the months ahead.

  “So you guys are really going to get married at the lake?” Bennett asked when the conversation—as usual—turned to the upcoming wedding.

  “Yep,” Makayla said with an excited smile. She leaned over to press her face against Ethan’s shoulder, looking up at
him with love clearly evident on her expression. “It was the one place that Ethan and I could agree on. It holds special meaning for us both.”

  Ethan nodded his agreement as he lifted a hand to brush against Makayla’s cheek. Bennett loved to watch the two of them together. He hadn’t really spent much time thinking about the type of man that he’d want for his sister. Given the intense aspects of Makayla’s personality, he had wondered a few times if she’d find a man who could embrace all of her without trying to change her. Ethan was definitely that man. They complemented each other well.

  Until he’d had a front row seat to Ethan and Makayla’s love story, the type of relationship he’d hoped to have for himself had been rather vague. But seeing two people with obvious personality differences work through them to get to a place where their love was a solid foundation for their future together had made Bennett want that for himself. It was a good reminder of why breaking up with Ellie had been the right move. He didn’t think that they would have ever had a relationship like what Ethan and Makayla had.

  “It’s going to be fairly small.” Makayla glanced over at Grace. “The bridesmaids and I will be staying at the hotel the night before.”

  “What about the guys?” Bennett asked.

  “In tents down by the marina,” Makayla said.

  “Say what?” Bennett looked over at Ethan. “Seriously, dude? You’re gonna make me sleep on an air mattress the night before your wedding.”

  When Ethan shook his head, Bennett leaned over and held out his hand for a high five, but jerked it back when the man said, “Sleeping bags on the ground.”

  Keenan chuckled, his laugh low and deep. Makayla and Tami also laughed, and even Grace cracked a smile.

  “You’ve grown soft, Bennett,” Grace said with a glance in his direction.

  “No…” Bennett started to object, but then he laughed. “Okay. Yeah. I must admit that the idea of sleeping in tents doesn’t hold the appeal that it did ten years ago. So sorry, dude, but I’ll be sleeping in the hotel with the girls if the alternative is a tent.”