For the Love of Grace: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 2)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

Grace felt the sudden prick of tears and was grateful when she heard a small squeak from the car seat. Blinking rapidly, she bent to move the handle out of the way so she could release the straps and lift Olivia out. Cradling her close, Grace watched as her little girl blinked a couple of times before opening her light blue eyes and looking right at her.

  “Hi, sweetie,” Grace said as she bent to press a quick kiss to her nose.

  “By the way, Emma is an interior designer, and she’s been consulting with Tristan on some new projects that Ethan and Bennett have taken on,” Makayla explained as she slipped a hand over Olivia’s hair.

  Grace was glad to be brought up to date on what was happening with the company, but the way Bennett had acted hurt her. Since the night he’d made her face her new reality, he’d kinda disappeared from her life. Between his hours at work and the time she’d spent at the hospital, they never seemed to run into each other at the apartment building. She’d even spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve at the hospital with Olivia instead of going to the Callaghan-McFadden celebrations. On top of that, Steve and Emily had gone to Mexico for three weeks to help out at a mission school, so there hadn’t been family dinners for the whole month of January.

  As for their friends, it seemed they had all been caught up in their own lives following the holidays, so there hadn’t even been any social gatherings. Well, unless she just hadn’t been included. She hadn’t been sure if it was circumstance or on purpose that she and Bennett hadn’t seen much of each other. Given his reaction just minutes ago, clearly it had been on purpose. Bennett’s purpose.

  Had he changed his mind? Decided that she wasn’t worth the effort?

  She couldn’t blame him for that. It had taken her far too long to accept her feelings for him. She’d pushed aside what she’d felt as a young adult, figuring it would wither and die over time. Instead, it had just stayed beneath the surface for years, waiting for her to come to her senses. If she’d been strong enough, with the love Bennett felt for her and what she felt for him, they might have been in a very different place by now. If she hadn’t let fear take hold of her when her grandmother died.

  Instead…

  Grace looked down at Olivia who had managed to find her mouth with her fist. How could she regret how things turned out when she had this little girl in her life now? Wishing things had been different would have meant wishing away her time with Franklin and Olivia. She couldn’t do that.

  So now what was she going to do?

  It had been just over eight months since Franklin had died. The grief had eased some, helped by the little girl who needed her to be present and emotionally available. Not that there hadn’t still been times where she felt a deep loss, but she’d discovered that finally acknowledging her love for Bennett hadn’t lessened what she’d had with Franklin and her love for him.

  Would people think it was too soon? Maybe.

  Did she think it was? Not anymore.

  At this point, the bigger question was how Bennett felt.

  “I need to talk with Bennett,” Grace said as she glanced over at Makayla.

  “Let me take Olivia for you,” she offered.

  Grace looked down at the baby. They were a package deal. If she was going to approach Bennett, she wanted to do it with her daughter. “I think I’d like Bennett to see her.”

  Makayla’s brows drew together for a moment, then her face relaxed as she smiled. “Come see me afterward.”

  “I will.”

  Shifting Olivia up to cuddle on her shoulder, Grace plucked a blanket from the car seat and laid it across the baby. Then, saying a prayer for strength, Grace headed down the hallway that would take her to Bennett’s office.

  28

  Bennett forced himself to focus on the email that he’d opened on his monitor. He wasn’t going to think about Grace. And he most certainly wasn’t going to think about the little baby who’d been bundled up in the car seat sitting on the receptionist desk.

  Walking into the office to find Grace there with the baby had been a surprise. He’d known that the baby—Olivia Joy—had come home from the hospital a week ago, but he hadn’t seen either of them. It wasn’t that he’d gone out of his way to avoid them, but it just seemed that with their schedules and with Grace not being at work, their paths just hadn’t crossed.

  When she’d told him that she couldn’t love him, it had been like a knife to his heart. However, it hadn’t been unexpected, which was why he’d been able to walk out of her apartment without begging her to reconsider. There wasn’t anything more he could do to convince her that it was worth the risk to love again. And though it had been hard, he’d finally accepted that there would never be anything other than friendship between them. It wasn’t like he’d had a choice after she’d so bluntly told him she wasn’t interested in his love for her.

  The only positive thing out of the whole situation was that Grace had stepped up and become the mom her daughter deserved. He hadn’t seen the baby since the day he’d taken Grace home and challenged her to let go of her fears. Walking out of Grace’s apartment, he’d known that he would be Uncle Bennett to Grace’s little girl. He would just be one uncle among the many she’d have as part of the Callaghan and McFadden clan. And though Bennett had known he’d be okay with that and the place he’d have in Grace’s life, he’d needed a little time and space to accept it. Distance to help lessen the bond he felt to the little girl.

  “Bennett?”

  He turned from his monitor to the door of his office. Grace stood there, her blonde hair laying in soft curls on her shoulders. The baby was propped up on her shoulder, a pink blanket covering her tiny body.

  Bennett looked from the small bundle to meet Grace’s gaze then pushed back from the desk and got to his feet. “Hi, Grace. How are you doing?”

  With a smile, Grace walked into the office and sat down in the chair across the desk from him. Trying not to jump to any conclusions about why she was there to see him, Bennett sank back down into his chair and snagged a pen. He ran his fingers over the smooth surface as he waited for Grace to reveal why she was there.

  “I’m doing pretty good. Adjusting to being a twenty-four/seven mommy. It’s definitely different than going to the NICU for a few hours every day.”

  “How is she doing?” Bennett asked as he glanced once again at the baby cuddling against Grace’s shoulder.

  “So good. She’s eating like a champ and sleeping in four-hour chunks at night.” Grace lifted a hand to rub the baby’s back. “I’m sure you heard she gave us a couple of scares early on.”

  Bennett nodded. Tami had called him as soon as the breathing episodes had happened. The setbacks had meant that the baby had had to go back on oxygen, but thankfully, it had only happened twice. She’d seemed to turn a corner after that second time and hadn’t had any more problems. It had taken everything in Bennett to not rush to the hospital to be with Grace and Olivia, so he’d been relieved to hear from Tami that Grace had managed to keep from falling completely apart. That was definitely an answer to prayer.

  “Yes. I heard. I’m glad she was strong enough to pull through them.”

  There was a moment of silence before Grace said, “How are you doing?”

  “Good. We’ve been super busy which has been surprising since winter is usually our slow time, but we managed to land a few contracts for some commercial interior work. Of course, with Mom and Dad gone for several weeks in January, I’ve also been out at the house a fair amount to make sure Dalton and Danica were doing okay.”

  Small talk over, Bennett gripped the pen. When he’d walked into the office and seen her, he hadn’t anticipated having any sort of conversation at all beyond a few social niceties.

  Grace’s brows drew together for a moment, and she kept rubbing the baby’s back as she swayed gently. “I should’ve spoken to you sooner about this.” She hesitated. “I’m so thankful for the talk you gave me the day you brought me home from the hospital. It was just what I needed. I appreciate
it more than you will ever know.”

  Bennett swallowed as he had a sudden memory of all the feelings he’d had at that moment. The love. The hurt. The heartache. “I’m glad things worked out. You need each other.”

  “Yes, we do.” The blanket slipped a little to show a tiny back clothed in pink. “Would you like to hold her?”

  Bennett’s immediate internal response was Yes!, but he wasn’t sure he was at the point where he could hold her without losing even more of his heart to her. Even having just touched her little hand when she’d been in the isolette had created a bond that Bennett wasn’t sure could ever be severed. She might not ever feel it, but it would always be there for him.

  “I’m not really a baby-holding type person. Maybe when she’s a bit bigger.”

  Grace regarded him for a moment, her blue gaze serious. “So even though you were there when she was born and you visited her in the NICU, you never planned to hold her? If Tami had offered you the chance to hold her, you wouldn’t have agreed?”

  “I would have done it if you hadn’t been there for her. But now she has you and a lot of other people. She doesn’t need me.”

  “I happen to feel differently,” Grace said. She got to her feet, one hand bracing the back of the baby.

  Bennett watched as Grace came around the desk. He felt a flutter of nerves that he wasn’t totally familiar with. How was it that a tiny bundle of baby made him so nervous?

  As she reached his side, she bent forward, one hand cupping the back of the baby’s head, the other on her diaper-clad bum. Bennett had no choice but to drop his pen on the desk and reach out to welcome the weight of Grace’s daughter into his arms.

  “Bennett, meet Olivia Joy.” Grace’s hands touched his arms briefly before straightening. “She weighs just over five pounds now.”

  As he looked down into a pair of light blue eyes framed by dark lashes, Bennett felt a mix of love and fear. And suddenly he understood how Grace had felt and the fear she’d lived with. The fear of loving someone because losing them would hurt so much. She might only weigh five pounds, but she felt a lot heavier in Bennett’s arms. She had dark curls that Bennett remembered from the brief glimpse he’d had of her in the delivery room.

  He ran his fingertips over her hair, marveling at how soft it was. “She’s beautiful, Grace, and her name fits her perfectly.”

  Grace turned to lean back against the desk. “It does, doesn’t it? I thought it was going to take me awhile to come up with the right name, but I literally woke up from a nap with her name in my head. Olivia Joy just belonged to her.”

  As he stared down at the little girl, Bennett felt a wave of sadness. Franklin would never get a chance to love his daughter, and Olivia wouldn’t have the opportunity to know her father. Bennett resolved that he would do his best to share the good memories he had of Franklin with Olivia as she got older. She deserved to know that her father had been a good man and that he would have wanted—and loved—her.

  Bennett relaxed back into his chair, the baby cradled against his chest. He knew he should be handing Olivia back to Grace and thanking her for coming by. And then he should get back to work. But he just couldn’t seem to find it in himself to give her up just yet.

  He glanced up to see Grace watching him, an expression on her face that he’d never seen before. She frowned for a moment before letting out a quick breath. “I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

  “Does it have to do with work?”

  Grace waved her hand in the air. “No, I’m not worried about the job. Makayla said that Maya is doing a great job.”

  “Yes. She’s done well.” Bennett ran his hand over Olivia’s head. “Of course, she’s still not you, but she’s handling the job fairly well.”

  “I’m glad. It helps me to know that things aren’t falling apart while I’m not here.” She hesitated. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Oh?” Bennett really hoped that she didn’t want to have a talk about what he’d told her during that last conversation they’d had in her apartment. He really didn’t want to revisit that time. It had been one of the more challenging things he’d ever done.

  She didn’t move away from the desk and made no move to take Olivia from him. “I know that I said some things that day in my apartment that must have hurt you.” She hesitated. “I’m so very sorry about that.”

  “It’s okay. I know I dumped a lot on you. The most important thing is that you were able to find the strength to accept your role as mommy.”

  “Yes. That was important, for sure, but it wasn’t the only important thing.”

  Bennett looked at Grace to find her standing with her arms crossed and head bent. There was a small kernel of hope within him, but he refused to acknowledge it. She’d made it clear that since it hadn’t even been a year since Franklin’s death, it was too soon to even consider a relationship with someone else.

  Now, not even two months later, it would still be too soon.

  “Can we go out tonight?”

  Bennett froze. “Go out? Tonight?”

  “Yes. Tami said she’d watch Olivia.”

  Bennett looked back down at Olivia. “Uh. Sure, we can do that.”

  “Great. Will six-thirty work?” Grace asked as she straightened.

  After Bennett nodded, Grace bent to take Olivia from him. He got a whiff of a subtle floral scent as her hair slipped over her shoulder. “I’ll be ready. Is it casual?”

  She held Olivia close to her shoulder. “Jeans would be fine.”

  After a quick smile, Grace slipped out the door. Bennett leaned forward and picked up his pen again. As he considered what was to come, he found he was still a bit confused.

  Was this an apology evening out?

  Or something more?

  “Do I look okay?” Grace asked as she stood with Tami in the kitchen of her apartment.

  Tami gave her a quick hug. “You look beautiful. Always.”

  Grace hadn’t been sure what to wear, but in the end, she’d settled for a pair of black jeans. New ones because she didn’t quite fit into her old clothes yet. She’d thought she would have an easier time getting back to her original weight because she hadn’t gone the full nine months, but it seemed that her body shape had changed. Possibly permanently. Just one more thing to accept in her life. She should be used to embracing change by now.

  She tugged at the sleeves of her deep rose colored sweater then bent over the bouncy seat where Olivia lay watching her. “You be good for Auntie Tami.”

  “We’re going to eat pizza and watch reality TV.” Tami ran her fingers through Olivia’s curls. “And give each other manis and pedis. Oh, and eat lots of chocolate and ice cream.”

  Grace laughed. “Well, you two have fun. Hopefully, Bennett enjoys what I have planned. Erin gave me the idea when I was chatting with her yesterday.”

  “I think it will be fine. It’s something fun to do, and conversation friendly. All mixed in with some healthy competition.”

  Grace hoped she was right. Bowling wasn’t the most exciting thing around, but she hadn’t wanted to just sit staring at each other across a table at a restaurant. And bowling had been the date they were to have gone on before her grandmother’s death had changed everything. Hopefully, this could be the start of what had never gotten off the ground before.

  “Have fun and don’t worry about Olivia. She’s going to be just fine,” Tami assured her with another hug.

  After giving Olivia a kiss, Grace put on her jacket then grabbed her purse. Picking Bennett up was as easy as walking across the landing between their two apartments. She knocked then stood there nervously waiting for him to answer.

  When he did, Grace took in his outfit, seeing he’d taken her jeans comment to heart. He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a white shirt under his black leather jacket. She could see the reservation on his face as he stepped out of his apartment and closed the door.

  “Ready?” Grace asked, hoping he�
�d relax soon. She hoped she relaxed soon too.

  “Yep.” They headed down the stairs, side by side. “Are we taking my truck?”

  “Nope. My plan. My car.”

  “I guess I trust your driving,” he said, a reluctant tone in his voice.

  Grace came to a stop on the second from the bottom step. Bennett continued on but then turned around when he realized she wasn’t beside him. He lifted a brow as he waited for her.

  “You guess you trust my driving?”

  “Well, I can’t remember the last time I actually rode in a car that you were driving.”

  Grace felt her heart skip a beat as a slow smile spread across Bennett’s face. “I will do my best to get you to our destination in one piece.”

  “I appreciate that,” Bennett said with a tilt of his head.

  The butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach eased at their interaction. She tossed a smile at him over her shoulder as she headed for the door leading to the parking lot. It was a bit funny to see Bennett fold his tall frame into her car, which wasn’t really that small but definitely smaller than his truck.

  “Where are we going?” Bennett asked as he moved around to get the seatbelt fastened, his shoulder bumping hers.

  Grace thought about making him guess, but instead, she said, “Bowling.”

  “Bowling?” Bennett looked at her, his eyes going wide. “Really?”

  She wondered if he remembered.

  “That’s what we had planned to do,” he said, his voice soft. “Before.”

  “Yes. Before.” Grace came to a stop at a red light and glanced over at him. “I thought it might be a good place to start.”

  There were a couple of beats of silence. “Definitely a good place to start.”

  Grace stood with her hands on her hips, staring at the scoreboard. “Were you planning to let me win when you asked me to go bowling for that first date?”

  “Yeah, I was.” Bennett tried not to laugh at her expression as she swung to face him. The lane they had been given was against the far wall, and there were only a couple other lanes occupied, so it almost felt as if they were alone in the place.