Scandalous (The Alpha Bodyguard Series)

by Sybil Bartel

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He lost the calm, detached composure to his tone.

  “Are you blind?”

  I threw my hands up. “Do I look blind?”

  He pointed toward the house. “Do you see your brother or your father coming to your rescue?” Veins popped on his neck. “They didn’t even fucking ask if you were okay. I could be a goddamn serial killer for all they know, and they left you to fend for yourself!” Every word came out louder than the last.

  I glanced at the house, and when I saw them all sitting at the kitchen table through the window, shit sank in my stomach. All of them eating, not one of them checking outside. I looked back at Tank, ready to tell him he was wrong, but it was pointless.

  Following my glance, he saw exactly what I saw.

  Gutted, I stood there.

  He dropped his hands from his hips and lowered his voice. “Come on, babe. Get your shit. Come with me. You don’t belong here.”

  That was the problem. I didn’t belong anywhere. Seven days with the three strangers who were my only family, and not one of them had asked me why I was here. Not even my mom. Especially not my mom.

  No one asked me anything because they didn’t want me here.

  They didn’t care that I’d paid off the mortgage on the farm, or bought the adjoining parcel and rolled it into their land. No one thanked me for the extra equipment I’d bought. No one had even talked to me except to bark orders, ask what I was going to handle that day, or tell me to come to supper.

  Tell me to wash up.

  Like I was dirty.

  Like I’d always been dirty.

  And suddenly, I saw it for what it was.

  I represented all of their mistakes.

  My brother’s sickness, my mother’s resentment, and my father’s anger at a situation he was trapped in.

  Tank studied me like he knew my thoughts. “You got a better offer?”

  “Stop it,” I barely whispered.

  “Stop what? Pointing out the obvious?” He stepped closer. “We both know you don’t want to be here.”

  “You don’t know me,” I argued.

  “I know plenty.”

  “Bullshit.” No one knew me.

  “You really wanna test me like that?” The six-and-a-half-foot unwavering beast of a man didn’t wait for an answer. “You been gone so long from this place, those people in there either don’t give a shit about you anymore, or they never did. You were running from the bullshit fame because you were drowning in a life where you had no control. You wanted to make decisions for yourself, but all you accomplished was winding up right back in the passenger seat. Don’t fucking bullshit me about wanting to be here. The woman who sat buck ass naked on my counter and spread her legs in front of my food isn’t a woman who wants to take shit lying down.”

  I blinked.

  He wasn’t finished.

  “I don’t know what your goddamn favorite color is, or what the hell you eat besides vegan shit and apples, but five seconds after finding you, I knew the only thing holding you here was an old horse.”

  “She’s not old.” She was middle-aged.

  “Get a new horse.” Except he didn’t just mean get a new horse, he meant get a new life.

  Mad, sad, angry, hurt, I reached for the only defense I had left. “Fuck you. Don’t pretend like you give a shit about what I want or what I do. You’re only here because you want me to make a statement and save your friend’s reputation.”

  “Jesus fuck,” he growled.

  I turned to go inside.

  “Goddamn it, woman. Wait.”

  I paused, but I didn’t turn around. I couldn’t. I would burst into tears, because him standing here, telling it like he saw it, was the closest thing to a friend I’d ever had. “What?”

  He stepped in front of me, and his expression was one hundred percent alpha, but I also saw the dark circles under his eyes. “I’ve got a hotel in the next town over. I’ve been looking for your sweet ass for ten goddamn days, and I’m fucking hungry and tired.” He dropped his voice. “Come. With me.”

  My chest tightened and my core pulsed.

  Desperate longing filled every inch of my soul as he stared at me with his gorgeous green-brown eyes, and I realized something.

  I had nothing left to lose.

  He already owned my heart. He’d come for me. Did it matter why? Being with him, even if it was only to ride back to Miami and figure out what I was going to do next—that’d be a thousand times better than staying here.

  And I would be with him.

  At least temporarily.

  I sighed like it was a difficult decision, then the real me, the woman who wasn’t a complete pushover, she came out after hiding for seven days. “I’m not sleeping with you.”

  The corner of his mouth twitched. “Go get your shit, woman.”

  I crossed my arms. “And then what?”

  As if he knew me, as if he knew every pathetic thought in my head, he gave me his own brand of honesty. “Then we eat some food, you get your vomiting ass horizontal, and we reassess in the morning.”

  A thread of doubt surfaced. A minute ago he’d told me to come with him. I assumed back to Florida. But now he was telling me we’d reassess in the morning? “You said—”

  “Stop.” He cupped my cheek. “I know what I said.”

  I threw out the other problem I’d avoided so far. “People will recognize me.” I’d been safe here because I was isolated, but out there in the world, all I’d have between me and being recognized was a six-and-a-half-foot, dominant, trigger-happy bodyguard.

  “Trust me.” This time, half his mouth tipped up. “I’m a professional.”

  “Magnolia!” my father bellowed from the porch. “Get in here. Your mother’s food is getting cold.”

  Tank’s smile dropped and his nostrils flared, but he didn’t say anything and he didn’t take his eyes off mine.

  I exhaled and moved out of his grasp, stepping toward the house.

  “Audrina.” Half in warning, half in question, he said my name short and fast.

  “I’m going to brush my teeth.” I hoped like hell I wasn’t making the second-worst decision of my life. “Then I’m getting my backpack.”

  I FOLLOWED HER INTO THE house, wondering if I’d lost my goddamn mind.

  I’d spent ten days looking for her because despite all the technology in the world and the shit you saw on TV, people weren’t easy to find. She hadn’t touched any of her bank accounts, not the ones we knew about, and we’d never even gotten a lead on what car she was in.

  I made it two steps into the front hall and her father came out of the kitchen.

  He glanced at me then his gaze trailed after his daughter as she took the steps two at a time. “Where you going, girl? Food’s on the table.”

  Ignoring him, Audrina disappeared into her room.

  “We’re not staying.” I crossed my arms on purpose.

  His gaze cut to my biceps, then my eyes. “She ain’t yours. You don’t speak for her.”

  Anger surged, and I glared at him. I’d misread the old fuck as mostly harmless earlier. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. “You think you speak for her?”

  He puffed his chest. “She’s my daughter.”

  “Yeah?” Fucking asshole. “Was she your daughter ten days ago? A month ago? Was there any time in the past decade that you gave a shit about her?” My temper flared and my voice dropped low in warning. “Was she your daughter when your wife signed away custodial rights to a casting agent?” The greedy fuck. The house was old, but the barn and the equipment in it were new.

  “That ain’t none of your business.”

  The fuck it wasn’t. “I’m making it my business, because you haven’t said one decent word to her since I’ve been here.”

  “You come sniffing around my daughter, you don’t know the first thing about being decent.”

  The son pushed his chair back from the table and came to stand beside his father. “You need to l
eave.”

  What a fucking joke. I could take both of them without breaking a sweat. “I’m gonna.” I glared at her brother. “As soon as your sister comes back downstairs with her stuff.”

  “She ain’t leaving,” the father postured.

  She sure as hell wasn’t staying here anymore. “You know what you seem to forget, old man?” I heard her footsteps coming back downstairs.

  “I don’t forget nothing,” he barked.

  Addressing her father, I took Audrina’s backpack. “Yes you do. You forgot one crucial fact.”

  Audrina looked between us. “What’s going on?”

  Her father ignored her. Her brother ignored her, and her mother sat at the kitchen table with an expression of disgust.

  I put my arm around her shoulders and looked her old man in the eye. “You forgot she’s a fucking person.” I hustled her out the front door.

  “You stop right there, girl,” her father bellowed.

  “Ignore him,” I muttered, ushering her to the passenger side of the SUV and opening the door before I threw her backpack in.

  “That’s it,” her father warned. “You leave now, you don’t ever come back. Not even with your tail between your legs.”

  Her ass in the seat, one foot on the running board, Audrina froze.

  “Do not engage,” I warned low so only she could hear me. “It’s not worth it.”

  Holding on to the door, glaring at her father, she pulled herself up and out of the seat. “Is that what you think?” she asked, incredulous. “That I came back here with my tail between my legs?”

  “You sure as hell ain’t here with no dignity,” he spat. “You ain’t known dignity since you was thirteen.”

  “I paid your precious farm off,” Audrina seethed. “I bought you all new equipment. And you’re calling me undignified?”

  Taking a step toward us, her old man pointed his finger at her. “Don’t you dare mouth off to me, girl.”

  I didn’t want to have to hit the old man, but I fucking would if he took one more step. “Back off,” I warned.

  “Or what?” The old man challenged me. “You gonna throw some of that useless muscle around you got in one of them fancy gyms? You ain’t worked an honest day in your life.”

  The son stepped beside the old man. “Let her go, Pop. She ain’t worth it. She’s trash. She always was.”

  Rage surged. Barely holding it back, I took her arm. “Get in the car, Audrina.” Asshole or not, the piece of shit was still her brother. I told myself I wouldn’t fucking hit him.

  But then she opened her mouth and let the cat out of the bag. “Is that how you justify yourself, James?” She laughed bitterly. “That I’m trash? That I always was? That you tried to climb into bed every night with a piece of trash ten years ago?”

  I spun and my fist flew.

  The first blow hit him in the ribs, and when he doubled over, I aimed a perfect uppercut. He dropped to his knees like the piece of shit he was, and I kicked him.

  “Falcon!” Audrina yelled before I could kick her asshole brother again.

  Adrenaline and rage pumping, itching to fucking end him, I glared at her old man then rounded the front of the SUV as Audrina got back in the passenger seat.

  Five seconds later, I was gunning the heavy engine down the dirt road, pissed off I didn’t commit murder.

  WHITE KNUCKLING THE STEERING WHEEL, jaw ticking, Tank was silent as he drove twice the speed limit down the county road.

  “If you don’t slow down, you’ll get a ticket.” If the sheriff was still out for the day, and not at the one bar in town.

  “He touch you?”

  “What?” I asked, stalling. I knew who and what he meant. I just didn’t want to think about it. I was too busy being pissed off at the man who was supposed to be a father to me. But he never was. Neither of my parents had ever been nurturing, or even kind. I’d always chalked it up to living the hard life of a farmer, but there was more to it than that. None of them were happy. In fact, they were all intent on fostering unhappiness.

  “Your brother.” Tank’s nostrils flared. “He touch you?”

  “When?”

  His hands twisted on the steering wheel. “Since you’ve been back.”

  “No.”

  He inhaled. Twice. “Ten years ago?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t see any point in lying now. I’d already aired my dirty laundry.

  “Give me one good reason not to turn around and fucking end him.”

  For some reason, Tank’s words made the consuming anger and betrayal I’d felt a few minutes ago toward my father and the sheer hatred toward my brother ease somewhat. Not that I wanted my brother dead, but the fact that I wasn’t alone in my anger made it more… tolerable.

  I gave Tank the only reason I could think of. “Because I don’t care anymore.”

  “You went back there,” he accused.

  I looked out the window at the endless acres of farmland that I used to consider my home, but now seemed like a lifetime ago. “I thought it would be different.” I realized that was a lie. “No, I wanted it to be different.”

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing. I showed up and it was as if I never left. It was assumed I would carry my weight, and I fell back in to the old routine of mucking out the stables, getting ready for harvest, moving the horses, and whatever other chores needed to be done. No one asked me why I was there. They just….” Jesus. “They just assumed I was there to work.”

  Tank abruptly slammed on the brakes and pulled over. His chest rose with a deep inhale, and he looked at me with determination. “What happened ten years ago?”

  My stomach dropped, and the nausea came roaring back. I turned to the window. “It’s nothing.” I regretted saying what I did in front of him, but I didn’t regret saying it to my brother. “It’s not what you think.”

  He exhaled, and when he spoke, his voice was softer, quieter. “Intent’s just as bad in my book.” His hand landed on my nape. “Talk to me.”

  Suddenly, I was angry. And incredulous, and mortified, and humiliated, and about a hundred other uncomfortable emotions I never wanted to feel or deal with. “Talk to you?” I asked viciously. “So what? You can tell me I was justified, or lecture me about going back? Or tell me all the things I did wrong, or the shit I should’ve done right that I didn’t?”

  His face an impenetrable mask, he held my angry glare. Then he said one word. “No.”

  I waited, but that was it.

  One damn word.

  “No?” What the fuck? “That’s it? Just a no?” I threw my hands up. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re shit for pep talks? Because that one sucked.” Crossing my arms, wanting out of this SUV, wanting to be away from him and all his soapy, musky man scent, I turned toward the window again. “Just drive. You can drop me off in the next town over.” I’d figure something out. I had money. I could go anywhere.

  My seat belt released and huge arms were around me, pulling me halfway over the center console.

  His breath landed on my cheek, and his hand buried in my hair as he brought me to his strong chest. “Tell me what he did to you.”

  I could feel the coiled tension in his muscles. I could hear his faster than normal heartbeat. I could taste the scent of his anger. But what I couldn’t feel was judgment.

  He was angry.

  Incredibly angry.

  But not at me.

  Tears welled. “He touched me.” My breath hitched and memories I had buried deep came to the surface. “With his hands, night after night, for over a month, he came into my room, and I couldn’t stop him. He was two years older and bigger than me, and he threatened to tell Mom and Dad I was the one touching him. One night he must’ve made too much noise because my mom walked in and caught him.”

  His arms tightened around me. “What’d she do?”

  For the first time in my life, I saw the whole thing through an adult perspective. My own mother had walked in to my bedroom late that n
ight, and when she found her son on top of her daughter with his hands down her daughter’s pajamas, she’d chosen sides. My own mother had turned against me.

  She didn’t yell at James. She didn’t beat him or even scold him. She’d yelled at me. Why did I let him touch me? Why did I tempt him? What the hell was wrong with me? She whisper screamed horrible words at me in the dead of night while my brother, a foot taller and fifty pounds heavier, stood over my bed smirking.

  A week later I was in Los Angeles with a stranger, and my mother’s parting words had been how now I could follow my dreams.

  I swallowed back impotent anger, and tears fell. “She blamed me for tempting him. Then a week later, she drove me to the only diner in town to meet a stranger. She signed guardianship papers over to a casting agent and gave me away.” I choked on a sob of anger. “She told me I could follow my dreams.”

  He pulled back and took my hands in his face. “You know she was fucking wrong, right?”

  I barely nodded. Ashamed, angry, I knew my mother had been wrong, my brother was sick, and my father was an abusive enabler. I’d had ten years to process the grief of losing a family that never wanted me, but that wasn’t what was racing through my mind and making my nerves fray.

  My past wasn’t controlling my thoughts, or driving me to make more money or be the best actress I could be. I wasn’t even thinking about any of that.

  I was staring at a man holding my face in his hands who wasn’t paid to act out his affection, and I knew I wasn’t worthy of him. He’d spent ten days of his life looking for me, and I’d greeted him with anger and told him to leave. But he hadn’t left. He’d sized up the situation in seconds, told me he was getting me out of there, then he’d punched my brother on principle.

  He’d defended me.

  Defended my virtue.

  Defended my dignity.

  And stood up for me simply because it was the right thing to do.

  Feelings, thick and heady with a longing so intense I was choking, swallowed me whole. But then I was drowning in shame and guilt, because I didn’t have any virtue left. I wasn’t worthy of the man who defended me when I’d destroyed his reputation.

  The same intense amber-green eyes that had stared down at me almost two weeks ago while his body had driven into mine were holding me hostage now, and I wanted to disappear into their depths. More, I wanted to be the woman worthy of his intensity and attention.