Damaged & Dangerous

by A. J. Downey

  “You don’t have to do all that for me,” I said softly.

  “I want to, just hang tight.” He unlocked the front door and disappeared inside and I stood patiently, gripping the strap of my purse beneath my coat. A few seconds later the golden glow of firelight, warm and inviting, filled the dirty windowpanes on either side of the door.

  A few minutes later, the door swung in and Thirteen waved me forward, “Come on. I got a fire going, it’ll warm up in a minute or two.” I went forward, curious more than anything about what the little cabin would look like on the inside.

  It was cozy, and small all right. The interior as rustic as could be, the walls on the inside the same as the outside, simply stacked logs. Oil lamps, bolted to those walls, provided the light needed to see by. There was a bed just inside the front door and past it a big, black, stocky, beast of a woodstove. There was a sink in the back left corner and a bit of a kitchen-like counter. Behind the wood burning stove, which was in the center right of the room, there was a little four-seater rustic wood table with matching rustic wood chairs. I didn’t see a bathroom at all and I bit my lip.

  “I think I can guess what you’re thinking,” Thirteen said with a smart-assed grin. I raised an eyebrow. “Bathroom is an outhouse. Out the front door and that way, in the corner of the yard.” I nodded and pursed my lips. He chuckled.

  I went back out the front door to take care of business and when I returned, Thirteen was kneeling in front of the wood stove stoking the fire and adding a bit more wood, coaxing it into a cheery blaze. It was warmer in here already, though there admittedly wasn’t a whole lot of space in here to warm up.

  “That’s better,” he remarked and stood, “Can I take your coat?”

  I slipped it from my shoulders and handed it to him. There was a small dresser behind the cabin’s front door and I took off my purse and set it on its top. I wore a fitted long-sleeved shirt with a neckline that left my neck and shoulders bare. His eyes, more green than anything at the moment, slipped from my face and traced the curve of my neck and out and down over my shoulder. It was one of those looks so full of weight and substance that you felt it like a caress, but instead of leaving me feeling dirty like it would if it had come from Pig or any of the other guys, the look Thirteen gave me left me feeling like I was beautiful, a fine piece of art to be admired from afar. Except I really, really wanted him to touch me.

  He hung my coat to the right of the bed, off a hook beneath one of the oil lamp sconces there. There were two fixtures, one to either side of the bed, and he’d lit them both, along with the two behind the front door. He turned back to me and I wish I could say that things suddenly became awkward, but they didn’t.

  Desire shimmered the short distance between us, a palpable thing like heat from a summer sidewalk. I swallowed hard and he did, too. I wanted so badly for him to touch me, maybe even kiss me. I mean we were alone and Pig… Pig would never know, would never have to know. I kept him in the dark on so many things. And if we did, Thirteen stood to lose so much more than I did, didn’t he? I mean, they couldn’t kill me. They could hurt me but they couldn’t kill me, and I had become rather adept at accepting their pain, cruelty, and humiliation.

  “What do you want to do, Rocket?” he asked me softly.

  I raised my eyes to his and asked him, “If some things are worth the risk… is this one of them?” His eyes went feral and dark and he made three long strides to close the gap between us.

  “Hell yes,” he growled and I was in his arms. His mouth crashed into mine and I opened for him and drew him to me. I wanted so badly to remember what it was to feel good when a man touched me, and Thirteen promised me that and so much more with the way his mouth moved against mine, the way his hands traveled over my curves in a warm and gentle press of skin on skin after he’d delved beneath my shirt.

  I shoved his leather jacket off his well-formed shoulders and it crashed to the floor in a heap of leather and rattling buckles, snaps, and zips. His hands immediately returned to my shirt, which he gathered in his fists.

  “Off,” he growled into my mouth and it was an intense passion filled command that left heat pooling in my womb and started a deep, throbbing ache of wanting in my vagina. I wanted him, I wanted this, and it was more about how Thirteen made me feel alive and how life was worth living than anything else. I obediently lifted my arms above my head and he whisked my shirt away, his hands returning to my jean-clad hips, curving around my back and drawing me closer to him.

  I cupped his face with my hands; his short, three days’ growth of beard surprisingly soft beneath my palms as I held his face to mine. His kiss was hot, warm, and sweet, and despite the urgency of it, patient. I could feel him holding back and like so many things I just knew about him, I knew it was for my benefit. His palms smoothed up my back to the catch on my bra, rough with callouses but so warm and so incredibly gentle. My body broke out in a wash of gooseflesh and tingles, a pleasurable euphoria ghosting across every inch of my skin.

  My bra disappeared and I wanted so badly for there to be more skin contact between us. I gathered the hem of his soft cotton tee in my hands and tugged.

  “Off,” I whispered against his lips and he smiled against mine, obediently lifting his arms as I had done. As soon as his shirt was off we both came together, pressing against each other’s bodies like he was just as starved for a gentle physical touch as I was.

  I don’t know how long we stood there, fingertips tracing along muscle definition and along curves, exploring one another’s bodies as we made out like teenagers. But finally Thirteen turned me in his arms and laid me down on the bed, his eyes never leaving mine, beseeching me to trust him.

  I was surprised that even though I’d been hurt by any number of men since Jared, that I really did trust Thirteen, there was something about him. Was he dangerous? Yes, but it was a controlled danger, and that’s when it struck me. Thirteen was in control. None of the men of the Suicide Kings had even a tenth of the measure of control that Thirteen had over himself and his surroundings.

  “You okay, Baby?” he whispered.

  “Yes,” I answered and I was, I just knew I was okay with him. He would never tell. I just knew deep down in my gut that Thirteen was different than anyone I had ever met in my life and that I was safe with him.

  Safe. It was such an alien concept. But right here, right now, while I had it, I was going to revel in it because I knew beyond any doubt that come the pure light of morning, I had to go back. And who knew if I was ever going to be able to steal a moment like this ever again. This might be my only chance and I was going to seize it!

  I lifted my hips and let him peel my jeans and panties down my legs. He paused just long enough to pull off my shoes, and whisked my clothes off the rest of the way. Then there he was, looking at me like that again. Like I was a particularly beautiful bike, or a fine piece of art.

  “God, you are so fuckin’ beautiful,” he breathed and my eyes drifted shut as I savored his words, turning them over and over in my mind, committing the sound of awe in his voice to deepest memory, engraving it in the stone so I would never, ever lose it.

  “Kiss me,” I begged, and his lips found my neck and my chest, travelling lower and lower to take one of my nipples into his hot mouth. I gasped, fingers threading through his hair, cradling his head against my chest in open invitation to stay as long as he’d like. He chuckled and the vibration of it thrummed through his body and into mine, striking a chord deep inside of me, resonating so sweetly. I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I let him into my heart and what’s more, I let him make himself right at home.

  He awkwardly kicked off his boots as he kissed down my body, ending up kneeling on the floor as he kissed lower and lower. He kissed along my stomach, his hands smoothing out the trail of fire left behind by his lips. It was like he was worshiping my body and I was falling in love with the sensations he wrought by the second.

  He kissed my shaven mound and I gasped, and his lips sp
read into a smile there. He was between my thighs, nothing hidden to his sight, and I didn’t mind it. I didn’t mind it at all, which surprised me. I’d never been sexually brazen with anyone; I’d even been shy with Jared. Apparently Pig-Pen and the guys had broken me of it and I hadn’t noticed.

  No. I would not think about them right now. They would not spoil this for me.

  “Rocket, you okay?” Thirteen asked softly, pausing. I looked down the length of my body at him and nodded.

  He met my eyes and tipped his chin downward, a clear indication that he was checking with me, giving me the chance to speak up to tell him anything. He waited patiently and I gave in.

  “Ask me again, only say my name?” I pleaded and his lips curved into a beautiful if sad smile.

  “Dani, are you okay?” I closed my eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

  “Yes,” I answered and he licked me, tongue travelling from my opening to my clit, his hands warm and gently holding me just above my hips, splaying across my ribs to keep me from moving too far when I arched and cried out.

  He made love to me with his mouth, gently kissing, licking and sucking until I was crying out and writhing beneath him. He held me on that pinnacle for a long, long time before finally, eyes gazing up the length of my body to meet mine, he sent me plummeting back to earth. My body splintering beneath his mouth and hands, coming apart to be remade, better than before.

  He stood up and I heard, rather than saw him unfasten and drop his jeans. I stared at the ceiling a moment longer, catching my breath a moment more before looking and when I looked? My God, it stole what little breath I’d gotten right away again. The rumors were all true.

  Thirteen chuckled, “Relax Dani, I don’t need you to take it all for it to feel good. This, tonight, is less about me and more about you anyways.” I frowned at that and he laughed, settling between my thighs.

  “Relax,” he repeated, “I want it that way.” I stared for a long time into his green-blue eyes and he smiled, tearing open a gold foil package. Where had that come from?

  He rolled the condom down his length and, oh my God, he went on forever! He settled between my thighs and huddled over me. Kissing the tip of my nose, my lips, and as he deepened the kiss I began to relax underneath him. He probed gently with the head of his long, thick cock at my opening and I tensed just a bit, which was when he soothed me, talking to me.

  “Shhhh, you want me to stop? Is it too much?” he asked. I shook my head.

  “Don’t stop, please? I really do want you,” I whispered back. He nodded and pressed into me, slowly, gently, all the while searching my face for any signs of discomfort. Just when he reached a point that I was sure I couldn’t take any more of him, he stopped.

  “There?” he asked me and I bit my lower lip between my teeth and nodded. He smiled at me and it was so beautiful and so sweet. “God, you feel good,” he breathed and then began to move. He started with these slow and gentle, almost miniscule thrusts back and forth that woke something deep inside of me that I’d almost forgotten existed. I held him to me and he kissed me, hot and hungry, a slightly more insistent kiss than any we’d shared to date, and his thrusts became longer as he drew himself further from my body and eased back in with slightly more vigor as time went on.

  It drove me wild. He drove me wild. Thirteen felt incredible, slowly building me back up all over again, holding me gently on that precipice, his breath panting, our bodies lightly dewed with sweat. He moaned, a deep and dark and primal thing full of lust and something deeper that I didn’t dare put a name to.

  “Oh my God,” he moaned, “Oh my God, Dani you feel so good, so hot and tight and wet. Oh God, I’m not gonna last, I need you to come for me, Babe, I want to feel you come all over my cock, can you do that? Can you come for me?” his voice was strained with how he held himself back, and so incredibly sexy and passionate, I found myself readily agreeing to his demands, readily agreeing to do whatever he could possibly want from me.

  He held me close but still held himself off of me in such a way it was intimate without being in the slightest overbearing. He slid a hand between our pelvises, his eyes locked tightly with mine, and his thumb found my clit, I jerked when he touched it, I know I did, I felt myself tighten around him where he rode inside of me , it felt so good! It made him smile and he encouraged me one more time.

  “Come on, Dani. Come for me, Baby Girl…” and it was all I needed and I was falling all over again, tumbling into a pleasure, a pure bliss beyond anything I had ever experienced before. I think I screamed, I’m pretty sure I screamed, I couldn’t be sure. But if I did, I can tell you one thing: if you could make ecstasy into a sound, whatever poured from my throat would be it. Thirteen cried out above me, his eyes squeezing shut as I felt him throb in counterpoint to the uncontrolled muscle spasms my orgasm created.

  Too soon, he collapsed on top of me, his weight a solid and comforting thing as he pressed me into the quilt on his bed. I kissed his shoulder, which was conveniently placed near my lips as we lay panting, both climbing metaphorically from the craters that we found ourselves in from crashing back to earth.

  “Is that what that’s supposed to be like?” I heard myself ask through my gasping. Thirteen laughed through his, the sound broken by his attempts to draw breath.

  “Yeah,” he gasped out, “Yeah that’s exactly what that’s supposed to be like.” I giggled into his shoulder and he pulled back enough to look at me.

  “You’re incredible,” he said and kissed me, long and sweet and slow. I didn’t know how he figured but I didn’t want to argue the point. Not with his lips moving against mine like they were. I put absolutely no thought into how this all would end. I simply accepted the gift I was given and appreciated that God may be taking a moment of pity on me. I would be back in Hell soon enough as it was.

  Chapter 11

  Red-XIII…

  It had surprised the hell out of me, the order to bring Dani to my crib, but I took it for the damned blessing it was and got her the hell out of there. It had caught me off guard for sure, but I couldn’t and wouldn’t be sorry. I was grateful now that the place had no electricity because it had given me the perfect excuse to give the place a good once over to hide anything Sacred Hearts related before I let her in. Everything was hidden safely in my secret stash, which she would have to be pretty damned industrious to find the trap door, not to mention off-the-charts intelligent, plus she’d have to be actively looking for it, and she had no reason to.

  Right now she was sleeping peacefully, her head on my shoulder, arm across my chest. I loved how snug and tight she’d fitted her body against mine, her leg over both of mine. I had an arm curved protectively around her body, my free hand high up on her thigh beneath the covers. She felt so amazing and just so right, up against me like this. Tomorrow I would have to let her go and it was the thing keeping me awake, long into the night. Nothing but the shadows flickering across the cabin’s ceiling to keep me company while Dani slept, oblivious.

  I’d deliberately taken things slow with her, and she’d been so incredibly giving of herself, and brave. I admired her spirit more with every choice encounter that we managed to have together. I know it was ridiculously dangerous to let her get under my skin like this but I was a dangerous guy. Still, cockiness had gotten more than one guy like me dead and the more I looked at her big picture the more acutely aware I was that I really couldn’t afford to be cocky. That if I were gone, she’d have no one to look after her. I mean, yeah, she’d done a halfway decent job on her own up until now and I was pretty sure, with as smart as she was, she had some kind of stash or exit strategy in place if the opportunity presented itself, but I had no idea what my brothers had done. My real brothers that is.

  Whatever it was it involved Ace and Deuce, Gordy had said Sacred Hearts had ‘em pinned down. I’d passed along that the twins were going on a run and whatever other info I’d had on it to D I wasn’t sure if D had told Grinder’s bros or not. I was square in the dark on
what was going on, on that side of things. I sighed softly. With Dani here it wasn’t like I could pick up the phone and touch base, so for now I just had to play it by ear and adapt as I went along.

  “What are you thinking about so hard?” she asked and I tried to look down at her which … no dice at this angle and I damn sure didn’t want to move her. She was comfortable and so was I, so I just settled back, head on my pillows and smiled to myself. Little shit hadn’t been asleep at all.

  “I don’t want to take you back to him,” I said and she chuckled bitterly.

  “I know, but it has to happen. Do you regret prospecting for them yet?” she asked.

  I kissed the top of her head, “Hell naw, not when it brought me to you.” She sighed out and was quiet for a very long time.

  “You make me feel safe,” she finally murmured, and the words sounded almost like a confession from her lips.

  “I’m glad,” I said, and smiled. I kissed the top of her head again. Her hair was like silk against my lips and the feel of it was sort of addicting. Hell, she was addicting. My perfect drug.

  “It’s not safe, though, for either of us. I’ve put you in terrible trouble with them if they ever find out. I swear I won’t tell. No matter how drunk or high he gets, no matter how much he hurts me. I promise not to tell any of them about this.” She sniffed and one of her tears dripped wet down my ribs. I held her tighter.

  “Shhhhh,” I soothed and she sobbed gently against my chest, clinging to me.

  “You don’t understand. They’ll kill you if they find out. I know, they’ve done it before. Which is why this can never happen again.” She drew in a breath to keep talking but I stopped her.

  “Dani, stop. We haven’t gone back yet, you’re not with them, you’re with me, and until I have to take you back that makes you mine. If I only get you for one night then, damn it, I want it to just be about you and me and fuck the rest of the guys. Okay?” she laughed brokenly through her tears and nodded.