Hidden Ink

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  By the time he made it to Montgomery Ink, his head ached from too many thoughts and lack of coffee. He hadn’t made any at home, and he wasn’t sure if he should go into Taboo and get some from Hailey. Seriously, it was like he was a teenager again.

  When he had the time, he should just go over there for coffee and see her.

  Things had changed, but they hadn’t. And once he remembered that, everything would be okay. At least he hoped so.

  Sloane stretched his back as he took a seat at his station. He had three appointments that day—two smaller ones that he could get done in less than an hour each—and another one that would take most of the afternoon. That one he knew had to be perfect. Not that any of his work was less than perfect, but the one that afternoon had to be better than the rest.

  While each of the artists at Montgomery Ink did all kinds of work, they each had some specialties they were known for. Sloane had become known for his remembrance pieces. Those who had lost someone in the service came to him. He’d done ink remembering fallen soldiers—men, women, and dogs—as well as those who wanted to remember their branch in general.

  Today he was doing an eagle for someone and wanted to make sure he got the feathers just right. The bird would look as if it were taking off; its wings stretched back, legs bent.

  He hated and loved doing these all at the same time.

  Maybe, just maybe, if he could help others, he’d rid himself of the stain of blood on his hands. Only he knew that wasn’t an option. He’d be tainted until the day he died—and he refused to let that time be short. The men who had fallen by his side deserved far more than what they’d received, and Sloane refused to give up when they hadn’t had a chance.

  He let out a shuddering breath, pushing the memories back. It usually wasn’t this bad, but for some reason, he couldn’t quite get out of this funk.

  Of course, he knew the reason, and she was just a wall away, working and probably smiling. Giving in to temptation had done something to him, broken down the barriers that had held the panic at bay.

  “So…what happened last night?” Maya asked. He lifted his head to see her leaning against the table in his station, her pierced brow raised.

  He leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. Rather than answer, he just stared at her.

  She narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to answer me, are you?”

  He remained silent.

  She threw up her hands. “Fine. But if you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass. Oh, and if she hurts you, I’ll kick her ass. I’m an equal opportunity ass kicker.”

  Sloane smiled then. “I’ve always admired that about you.”

  Maya flipped him off then went back to her station, leaving Sloane alone with his thoughts. When he had the time, he should just go over there for coffee and see her. He didn’t like not knowing what to say—hence why most people thought he was the silent type. He only spoke when it was important and he knew the words. This was important. But he didn’t know the words.

  So, instead of going next door and seeing her like he wanted to, he stayed put and waited for his first client. He’d go over there eventually. He couldn’t hide from her.

  And that’s what scared him.

  The day thankfully passed quickly, and he stood up, rolling his neck to try and get the crick out. His stomach grumbled and he cursed himself. Somehow, he’d gone through most of the day without eating anything except the protein bar he’d found in his desk. Who knew how old that thing was. In the past, Callie might have gone and gotten the crew lunch, but now that she was a full-time artist and not an apprentice, she was just far too busy. Autumn, Griffin Montgomery’s woman, worked up front most days, but today had been her day off. That meant he’d been forced to get his own food and hadn’t had the time between clients.

  “Go get food or go home,” Austin said from his station.

  Sloane looked over at his friend. “What?”

  “You haven’t eaten today, and that’s fucking stupid in our line of work. You don’t have any clients on the docket and the walk-ins aren’t that bad today. Maya, Callie, and I can handle the influx.”

  Sloane ran a hand down the back of his neck. “We need more artists.”

  Austin nodded. “I’m putting out my feelers for someone who can be here for as many hours as we are. Or maybe I can get another apprentice.”

  There were four other artists that worked there on partial shifts, but they weren’t full time since they either lived too far away or had other jobs. What they needed was another full timer.

  “If I hear anything, I’ll let you know,” Sloane added.

  “Good. Now go next door, see your woman, and get some food. Head home and take her with you. Or at least make her go home. She’s been here as long as you have I bet.”

  His woman.

  He sure loved the sound of that. But was it the truth? Was she his? They hadn’t truly discussed what they were doing, other than that they were taking it one moment at a time. The fact she’d bared her secrets to him had meant more than anything.

  Sloane nodded at his boss, then the others, before cleaning up his station. After, he headed into Taboo through the side door and stopped two feet in.

  She was magnificent.

  Her teeth bit into her lip as she fought not to laugh at whatever Sierra, Austin’s wife, had said. She had flour on her apron, but other than that, she looked pristine—not like a woman who had probably been on her feet for a full shift.

  He’d always known she was strong, but now that he knew the truth, he saw the depth of that strength. He was a big man—big hands, large chest—just big. He could break her if he weren’t careful.

  He could break her with more than his strength, he knew. The fragility that slid under the surface of her skin wasn’t easy to see, but he saw it. She could be the strongest woman in the world and still carry that.

  He couldn’t hurt her.

  But he just might.

  She turned to him then and smiled, though there was wariness in her eyes. It made sense, after all. He hadn’t come by for coffee and this was the first time they’d seen each other since he’d left her house the night before. He wasn’t sure if he should go to her, kiss her senseless, then carry her out of the building over his shoulder, or stay here and watch her from afar.

  He stuck his hands in his pockets and let his smile rise just a little so she would know he liked seeing her.

  Sierra looked between them and smiled like the Grinch at Christmas. She all but rubbed her hands together in glee. Of course, he only saw this out of the corner of his eye, as the rest of his attention was on the blonde in front of him—the blonde he wanted in his arms.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey.”

  Sierra clapped her hands together, this time in truth, and slid off her stool. “Hi, Sloane. I’m going to head to Harry and Marie’s to pick up the kids.” She grinned. “They wanted time with the grandbabies today. Hailey was just telling me she was done for the day since her closing crew is here. Perfect timing.”

  She waved and said her good-byes before she headed through the door to Montgomery Ink, presumably to kiss her husband on her way out.

  That left Sloane and Hailey awkwardly standing in front of one another in silence.

  Hailey cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah, I was about to get off.”

  He wanted to get her off.

  Jesus, his mind needed to stay out of the gutter.

  From the way her cheeks blushed, her mind had gone there, too. Interesting.

  “Want to get something to eat?” he asked. His stomach rumbled then. Loudly. He winced. “Apparently, I really need to eat.”

  She smiled then and waved at the counter. “Let me get you some stew. It’s the kind you like. I’ll get a bowl, too.”

  He met her gaze. “Can we take it to go?”

  She studied his face for a moment then nodded. “That I can do. Where are we going?” She bit her lip again, this time her gaze traveling down his
body, slowly.

  “Your place,” he whispered, and she sucked in a shaky breath.

  “Oh. Okay.” She looked up again and licked her lips. “We can do that.” She turned back to the kitchen, and he swallowed hard.

  He didn’t know what they would do once they got there, but he couldn’t wait to find out. She came back quickly, her jacket on and a large bag in her hands. He took it from her, their hands brushing.

  They both sucked in a breath, and he had to smile. “I’ll follow you,” he said softly before leaning down to brush a kiss against her lips.

  She pressed closer and he had to hold back a groan. They were in public—her shop and place of business. It wouldn’t do to have him pick her up by the waist and place her on the counter so he could get a better angle at her mouth.

  He’d have to wait for them to be alone for that.

  When he pulled back, she licked her lips again. “See you at my place,” she breathed, then took his hand and led them to the parking lot.

  The relief that hit him was heady. He’d been afraid they’d have to hide this since things were so new, but that wasn’t the case. He hadn’t thought twice about leaning down to kiss her once he’d seen her, and he was damn lucky she hadn’t pulled back too quickly.

  They needed to talk, but first…first he needed her taste.

  As soon as they entered her home, she locked the door behind them and pressed her back against the hard wood.

  “Hungry?” she asked.

  He nodded but set the bag down on the entry table. “Yeah, I am. But I think food can wait.”

  She smiled then. “Good.”

  He cupped her face then crushed his mouth to hers. Her lips parted for him, and he tangled his tongue with hers, both of their resounding moans going straight to his dick. She put both hands on his back, her fingernails digging into his beat-up leather jacket.

  That wouldn’t do.

  He wanted to feel. He pulled away then tugged off his jacket and threw it on the floor before doing the same to hers.

  “You want this, Hails?” he asked, his voice ragged. He needed to know before he moved on.

  She reached up and bit his chin, sending a shock down his back. “Yes. I want you. I’ve wanted you for years. I wanted you to come over today and kiss me good morning, but I’m glad you didn’t. Because if you had, then I’d have taken you to my office and had you right there on my desk. Probably not the best way to try and get work done.”

  He stared at her a moment, then threw his head back and laughed. “Jesus, I’m so fucking glad I’m not alone. I tried to keep you off my mind like I have for so long, but it didn’t work. When I wasn’t thinking about if I should come over to your side or not, I was thinking about what I wanted to do to you as soon as I saw you. It’s bad, Hails. I want you so much that I don’t know if I can be gentle.”

  “Sloane…”

  He ran his hands up her rib cage and stopped right under her breasts. “You need to tell me what to do, Hails. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You can’t hurt me,” she whispered, though they both knew that wasn’t quite the truth. But they didn’t talk about that. Couldn’t talk about that.

  When he moved to cup her breast, she sucked in a breath. “Tell me what to do.” She didn’t feel any different than what he’d thought she’d feel like, but damn if he’d hurt her.

  “You’re doing it. I’m not made of glass, Sloane.”

  He leaned down and pressed his mouth to her temple. “You’re far stronger than glass, but I want to make this good for you.”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for you not to.”

  He kissed down her neck, and she tilted her head to give him better access. “I’m not going to make love to you for the first time against a door. The first time we’ll be in your bed.” He kissed her again. “Next time we can be against the door. Or on the table. Or in the shower.”

  She let out a shuddering breath. “I take it you have this all planned out.”

  “Not quite that, but I’ve thought about all of it.”

  She tilted her head up to meet his gaze. “Me, too.”

  He pressed his mouth to hers and pulled his hand away from her breast. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he reached around to cup her ass in his hands and lifted her off the ground. She let out a little squeak along his mouth, and he kissed her harder. When he moved toward her bedroom, she wrapped her legs around his waist, her heat pressed hard against him.

  Fuck. He wasn’t going to last long.

  As soon as he got to her bedroom, he set her down and pulled away so he could study her face.

  She bit her lip then tugged on the bottom of her shirt. “I…I’ve only been with one other person since the surgeries. I know you don’t want to hear about other men, but I wanted to make sure you know that you won’t be the first to see my scars other than my doctor.” She pressed her lips together. “You’ll be the second, actually.”

  He ground his teeth together at the thought of her with another man but pushed it away as fast as he could. She was telling him this for a reason and he got it, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. From the hesitant way she moved, he had a feeling the asshole before him hadn’t done his job. Sloane would be damned if he’d allow that to happen again.

  “Like I said, tell me what to do.”

  “Just make love to me,” she whispered. With that, she pulled her shirt over her head and let out a breath. He could see the scars on her stomach, the port scars on her chest. The bra she wore covered most of her, but he could tell she’d had surgery.

  He moved closer then put one hand around her back to the clasp of her bra. He leaned down and kissed her softly. When he undid the clasp, she moved her arms so the bra fell on the floor between them, tangling with their feet.

  “It’s not pretty,” she said, her voice stronger than before. “But it took me a long time to realize I’m beautiful despite the scars.”

  Sloane pulled away and looked into her eyes before dropping his gaze to her chest. His heart constricted at the sight of what had almost taken her from him.

  “You’re beautiful with the scars, Hailey.” And that was true. Her surgeon had done a fantastic job, but even if they hadn’t been as precise as they obviously were, she’d have been beautiful.

  Long scars bisected each breast and smaller ones marred the undersides. Parts of her skin had dimpled or scrunched together as the tissue and muscles underneath had been moved around during her healing.

  “I don’t look like I once did.”

  He tilted his head at her and nodded. “No one does. You look like a fucking survivor, Hailey. That’s all that matters to me. You get that? You’re here. You’re here to be with me and that’s what I know. You’re alive, breathing, fucking thriving. What more can I ask for? So you don’t have nipples? So what? You’re here.”

  Tears filled her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away. He took her hand quickly before wiping her tears away himself.

  “I’m not going to lie to you, Hailey. I won’t do that. I know you don’t look like you once did, but fuck, I don’t either.” He pulled back and took off his shirt. Scars covered his back and sides, as well as most of his chest. Surgical scars, scars from cuts and abrasions, as well as a few burn scars dotted his skin.

  “Oh, Sloane…” She reached out and brushed her fingers along the largest one—a mix of burn and jagged lines. “I didn’t know.”

  He shrugged but put his hand over hers before pulling her palm so it rested over his heart. “I hid them like you hid yours. No reason for others to know and not know what to say, to feel. But you’re not anyone. You’re Hailey. We’re both scarred, but we’re here.”

  And those he’d left behind weren’t.

  But he wouldn’t think about that now.

  Not when he had Hailey in front of him, bared in body and soul.

  “Will you tell me about them?” she asked.

  At first he thought she was talking about th
e men he’d lost, but then he knew she was speaking of the scars. Of course, they went together in a way, and he knew he’d have to tell her everything eventually.

  “Not right now. Let me love you first.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “Just let me hold you.”

  Sloane kissed her again, running his lips along her neck before kneeling in front of her. Hailey’s body shook, but she placed her hands on his shoulders. When he kissed her left breast and the scar that resided there, he felt the first tear drop on his head. He kept going, kissing each scar, each mark that had cost her, but in the end, had saved her. Without the pain, without the scars, he would have lost her before he’d had her. And he’d never forget that.

  While Hailey might not be able to feel his touch here the same way she once might have, he wanted to love her in every way he could. They both would come tonight, would make love until they were spent, but first, he needed to love her body.

  All of her body.

  He might be too large, too jagged, too haunted, but he’d make this special for her.

  He couldn’t suck on her, play with her the way he might have with another woman, but there were still things he could do. By the time he moved his lips across her chest, and then down her belly, she had her hands on his head, pressing him closer.

  He pulled back and grinned. “Bet you wish I had hair for you to pull right about now.”

  She sniffed, though her eyes were dark with desire. “I…I felt that, Sloane. It wasn’t…it wasn’t like before, but you kissing me…”

  He quickly moved to his feet and crushed his mouth to hers. She gasped and pressed her body to his. His hard cock rocked against her belly and he groaned.

  When he pulled away, he moved them both to the bed then pulled her pants down in a quick move. She gasped and laughed when they caught on her shoes.

  He snorted, then undid her shoes and threw her pants across the room. “Next time we take our shoes off at the door.”

  She met his gaze. “Deal.”

  He quickly pulled off his clothes—shoes first—and climbed into bed with her. They kissed again, their hands roaming over each other’s bodies until they were both left breathless. When she went to grip his cock, he stilled her.