by Eden Finley
I didn’t stick around for long, and I hadn’t seen her since.
That was … what, six weeks ago?
I’d taken her bringing Paul as a big fat sign. She was still marrying him, and we were never going to speak of our one night in the supply closet ever again. We’d agreed upon that anyway.
They’d finally set a date too, according to the guys. The wedding was now in a week. So, instead of realising she was making a big mistake being with him, she was jumping straight in the deep end.
For the second time in my life, I had to sit back and watch the girl of my dreams marry someone else.
At least I wasn’t invited to this wedding.
***
Blair was sitting at our booth alone when I arrived at the pub. I decided I could handle it if Reece turned up after all. Maybe. Probably not, but I was there now.
“Why haven’t I met any of your boyfriends?” I asked Blair as I plonked down next him.
“Hi to you too. Random much?”
“Answer the question.”
“Why?”
“Because my assistant—who thinks you’re hot, by the way—pointed something out to me today.”
Blair’s mouth quirked on one side. “I’m hot, huh?”
“Yeah. I told him you’d come out with us tomorrow night so I could introduce you two. But that’s not the point. He asked what type of guy you usually go for, and that’s when I realised I don’t know, because I’ve never met any of the guys you’ve dated.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “There’s only been two guys I was ever serious about. One was the guy I told you about years ago. That ended right after I came out. The other … well, it was a big complicated mess.”
“So it’s not that you think we’re still uncomfortable with it or anything, right? You want me to hit a gay bar with you to show you how okay with it I am? Because I’ll do it.”
He laughed. “I’ll admit it’s weird for me to talk about guys, but that’s more on me than you. I’m not ashamed of it, but I spent four years thinking you all didn’t approve, so I guess out of habit I’m more guarded about what I say around you guys. And I almost want to say yes to you in a gay bar, because I would find that highly entertaining.”
“You wanna come out tomorrow and meet Trevor?”
“Umm, I guess. He’s not my usual type though.”
“He said you’d say that. How do you even know? You met him once.”
“He’s a bit skinny. And short. I have a thing for meatheads. Athletic and muscular. The taller and wider, the better.”
“But you date women too. And not masculine ones.” I didn’t quite understand the whole bi thing, but I supported it. Each to their own.
He put his hands up in surrender. “Don’t try to get me to explain the needs of my dick. I tried to analyse him once, and he makes no sense. He likes who he likes—feminine chicks and manly men, apparently.”
“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact you refer to your dick as a separate person or that you tried to analyse its behaviour as if it’s not attached to your own brain.”
“It’s best if you don’t think about it too hard.” He grinned.
“Hey, guys,” Hunter said as he sat across from us.
“You look like shit,” Blair said.
“Thanks, asshole. I seriously need to hook up tonight.”
“Because you don’t get enough pussy?” I scoffed. Hunter was the biggest manwhore we knew. Apart from his brother, Garrett.
“I’m getting a beer. No, it’s a scotch kind of night,” Hunter said, standing.
“Grab me one too,” I called out. I didn’t know if he heard me or not before he was gone. “What’s up with him?” I asked.
“Who knows. Hair gel shortage? Maybe the world is running out and he’s worried.”
I pulled back in mock horror. “How could you joke about something like that? Don’t let him hear you say it. It may send him over the edge.”
Blair laughed. “Actually, I think he met some chick and she’s giving him the run around.”
“Good. He deserves to chase someone for a change.”
Blair lifted his chin towards the bar where a blonde girl had approached Hunter. “He might take the easy target instead.”
As time went on, I started getting hopeful that Reece wasn’t going to show. Blair, Hunter, and I kept up our usual smartassery, but it didn’t take long until I was checking the door and getting antsy about her coming … or not. It was confusing as fuck. I didn’t want her to turn up, yet I couldn’t help being disappointed that she hadn’t.
God, I could not start that again. I tortured myself in high school, following her around like a puppy. I needed to stop thinking of her like that.
I definitely needed to stop jerking off to the memory of her moans.
After a while, Hunter gave up on looking for a hook-up. Apparently, none of the barely dressed women were good enough for him. I had the feeling he wasn’t really looking to begin with. Whoever had him tied up in knots was someone I wanted to meet. I’d hug her just for the sake of making Hunter frazzled.
“I’m heading to the bar. Anyone want anything?” Blair stood. Hunter and I shook our heads.
When Blair was gone, Hunter leaned in, his elbows on the table. “Okay, what’s up with you?”
“Nothin’,” I mumbled.
“I call bullshit.”
“She’s actually going to marry the old guy.” I didn’t know what possessed me to say it aloud. Hunter was one of those guys you could say anything to. He should’ve been a therapist instead of a model.
“Who? Wait, Reece?”
“Who else?”
“How can you still have a thing for her?”
“I don’t.”
Both his eyebrows rose. Yeah, he didn’t believe me.
“Fine. Maybe I do, but it’s all recent. I haven’t been pining for her for ten years. I’m not that sad.”
He was the only one who knew how much I liked Reece when we were in school.
“Okay, but she’s been engaged to Paul awhile now. Her wedding is in a week. What’s suddenly changed?”
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Is this why you wouldn’t check on Cole for me a few weeks ago?”
I didn’t know the full story, but Cole was apparently seeing someone and they broke up. Hunter had to go to a fashion show in Sydney and asked me to make sure Cole hadn’t fallen off the wagon while he was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to look Cole in the eye after—
“Fuck me,” I muttered into my drink.
“I’m not into dudes. Sorry.”
“Ass.”
“Dick.”
“Mature as always, boys,” Reece cut in and appeared beside us. Pip was behind her.
I immediately tensed and had to get away. As it turned out, I couldn’t face her after all. “You ladies want a drink? A cocktail, no doubt?” My voice cracked. I stood from the table.
“Did you seriously offer a pregnant lady a cocktail?” Pip asked.
My eyes darted between Pip and Reece. “Pip … you’re?”
“Me?” Pip exclaimed. “Hell no. Wait …” She turned to Reece. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I thought everyone knew after your big announcement at Cody’s party. I just blew your news, didn’t I? Bad friend award.”
The blood drained from my face. “What? Since when? How far …?” I cleared my throat. “Congrats.” I was frozen, glaring at Reece.
“Uh, thanks,” she murmured and looked away.
She’s fucking pregnant?
4
REECE
Spencer’s skin turned a deathly shade of I’m so fucked.
Hunter went outside to take a phone call, but I was too busy trying not to fall over to take notice. Or faint. Fainting was a definite possibility.
Nausea racked my body, but I told myself that vomiting right now would add icing to the shit cake life’s served me.
“Ooh, Blair’s at the b
ar. I’m gonna go get a drink,” Pip said and wandered off, leaving Spencer and I alone.
“What. The. Fuck, Reece?” he growled.
I thought he already knew. We announced it two weeks ago, and none of our friends told him?
I’d been stressing the last fortnight, waiting for him to show up and ask that question. What. The. Fuck.
When he didn’t, I thought maybe he didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility the baby was his. I was totally fine with that idea. Turned out, our friends were more self-absorbed than I realised. I thought for sure word would’ve gotten around by now. Why was it the one time I depended on my friends to be gossipy, they kept their mouths shut?
“We can’t do this here,” I whispered to Spencer, who was trying to murder me with his glare.
“Like hell we can’t. How far along are you? Is it … did you …” He ran a hand through his hair.
Tears filled my eyes, telling him everything he needed to know.
“It’s mine?”
I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t know how.
“It’s mine.”
If he was going to do this, we had to go somewhere else. “Not here,” I hissed.
Grabbing his arm, I dragged him into the hall and past the restrooms, and ignoring the staff only sign, I pulled him into the very room where everything became so screwed up.
“It might not be yours,” I said when the door was closed behind us.
“Did you get the morning after pill?”
“I …”
“Did you?”
“I did. But …”
“But what?”
“I-I couldn’t get to a pharmacy until late afternoon. I took it within the recommended time frame, but the woman said its effectiveness reduces the longer it’s left. Ideally, I should’ve taken it in the morning. But that’s not to say—”
“So it’s mine.”
“Maybe not.” I was keeping hope.
“Were you having unprotected sex with your fiancé?”
“Uh, well …”
“Reece,” he snapped.
“No. We always used condoms. But you and I used a condom too. And the morning after pill.” It was rationalising at its finest. I’d been doing it for weeks.
“You’re pregnant with my child, and you’re still going to marry Paul? Fucking really?” He took a step closer to me, and on instinct, I flinched back.
“Please stop,” I squeaked. I felt cornered, which made panic set in.
The colour drained from his face even more, which I thought would’ve been an impossibility at that point.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly and stumbled back a few steps. “I wasn’t thinking—getting in your face like that. I’d never … you know I wouldn’t hurt you like Cole did, right? I’d never … sorry.”
I wiped a tear from my eye. I knew he wasn’t like Cole, but it was easy for me to feel claustrophobic and trapped.
“What are you doing marrying Paul?” Spencer whispered.
My eyes snapped to his. “What’s going to happen if I leave him? I’ll be a single mother of two children to two different fathers. You and I are not together; we’re not a family. Paul’s offering me everything I need—what this child needs. You think you can provide for a child? You were arrested for bar brawling not that long ago. Great role model material there, Spencer. I can’t have another guy with anger issues raising my child.”
I was nervous about Cole having Cody most of the time, because while I liked to believe he would never endanger Cody, I never thought he’d lay a hand on me either.
“That’s a stretch and you know it,” Spencer argued. “My arrest was two years ago, and I was protecting a girl from being felt up by a creep who wouldn’t take no for an answer. There weren’t even assault charges. And if Garrett hadn’t jumped in to save me, I would’ve ended up in the hospital. It was the other guy’s fault, not mine.”
“The fact you have to explain a bar brawl tells me everything I need to know.”
“You can’t do this to me, Reece. You can’t force me out of my child’s life like you did Cole when you first split. I’ve done nothing wrong.”
“Did you know about Cole? About who he’s sleeping with?” I didn’t know why I was bringing that up. It was just more shit to add to the icing on top of all the shit.
“What? What’s that go to do with us?”
“He’s been fucking Paul’s daughter.”
He was taken aback. “Paige?”
“My future stepdaughter and my ex-husband. Not only that, when they broke up, he fell off the wagon. He called me from a bar while he was drunk and yelled at me for taking the only woman he’s ever truly loved away from him. Do you know how much that hurts to hear the father of your child, the person you were with for over six years, tell you he never really loved you? Now, what, there’s a second man out there who fathers my child who doesn’t love me?” My words became jumbled and rushed as the shit kept coming. “Cole turned up on our doorstep earlier today and demanded to take Cody for his weekend, even though our deal stated he remain sober. How do I know he’s not drinking right now? In front of Cody?”
“Cole wouldn’t do that. He may have issues, but you know he loves that kid more than anything.”
“Paul’s threatened a custody battle. Paige isn’t talking to her father or me. And now, I’m getting married in a week—something I’ve literally had no say in, because every time I bring it up, Paul cuts me off and says I don’t need to worry about a thing because it’s all taken care of. He found out about the baby, and bam, game over. The end. He was hit with wedding fever, and I didn’t get a word in edgewise. I didn’t even get to pick my own dress. This woman he hired did it all. But putting all of that aside, Paul loves me.”
“Reece …” he said, his tone sympathetic, but nothing else came.
“I didn’t mean for it all to get this far. Now I can’t get out. I tried. I swear I’ve tried to tell him about what happened between us. I’m done. I’m so done with drama. This is his baby. He’s excited for it. It has to be his.” I began to hyperventilate. “I can’t handle this. I can’t, I can’t, I—”
Before I could blink, I was wrapped in Spencer’s comforting arms and being pulled into him.
I sobbed into his shoulder.
I hated how good I felt when I was against him, but what I hated most of all was the fact I hadn’t been able to get our night out of my head. The way he touched me, the way he fucked me …
My brain was moving into dangerous territory, and I told myself I had to stop remembering what it was like to be with him. But being in his arms again made that impossible.
My shoulders heaved, and my sobs were muffled by Spencer’s chest.
His aftershave made me want to cling to him. It was comforting and musky. He smelled like high school and reminded me of when I had absolutely no responsibilities or obligations.
“Shh,” he soothed.
Something in me snapped, and I couldn’t take it. I had to get away from him before I did something stupid. Like tell him I’d call off my wedding.
“I have to marry Paul. It’s the right thing to do. I can’t deal with the consequences of telling the truth. I’ll have nothing. I don’t know how to pull myself out of this giant hole.”
“With me,” he said. “Pull yourself out of it with my help. We may not be a family, or be together, or be all that close anymore since high school, but you’re not alone in this.”
I pulled out of his arms. I couldn’t handle him being nice. He needed to be angry, so it would be easier to convince myself that what I was doing was right. Because deep down, I knew I didn’t believe it myself.
“You don’t get it,” I started. “My life? It’s completely fucked. It’s falling apart, and I can’t hold on. What are you expecting me to do? Leave Paul, rent an apartment I can’t afford, find a job I can work while Cody’s in school and who’s willing to hire a pregnant chick, all the while putting up with morning sickness where I’m t
hrowing up three times a day, live on my own, and scrape by with no money and no future for either of my children? If the truth gets out, my life is going to be ten times more screwed than it is now. Paul can send my kids to private school. He can give them a future.”
“So can I,” he argued.
“You wear jeans to work. How is that a real job? I need stability.” Paul was stable. Spencer, not so much. “You’re irresponsible, immature, and—”
“The only one acting immature right now is you. I’m going to step up and be my kid’s father.”
My heart sank into my stomach. “Are you saying you actually want this? To be a dad? You know what that’d mean, right? Goodbye Friday night pub nights. This is my one night out I get. Once every two weeks. Goodbye dating and social life. When you’re a parent, you live and breathe for your children. You want to be a single father? You think you’re ready for that?”
He stood there, staring at me with a blank expression. His jaw hardened, and he went to say something but nothing came out. His silence spoke volumes.
“Didn’t think so.” I went to walk off, but he cut me off and stood in front of me.
“I may not be ready to be a dad, but I don’t turn my back on my responsibilities. I’m not going to be a deadbeat like my father was.”
“There’s only a fifty-fifty chance this baby is even yours,” I snapped.
“It’s mine, and you know it. Don’t go through with the wedding, Reece.”
I could’ve sworn there was an underlying threat in there, but I never thought Spencer would be the type of guy to issue one. Then again, I never thought he’d be the type of guy to get arrested for fighting in a bar, sleep with his best friend’s ex-wife, or be an accomplice to cheating.
It was easy for people to make mistakes. It was what they did after it that made them a decent person. And as most of my friends and family would agree, I wasn’t a decent person. I was selfish.
“I can’t call off the wedding. I’m sorry.” I walked around him and left before he could stop me.
***
I couldn’t face my friends in the booth.
Pip caught my eye as I charged through the bar and into the cold night air outside.
