by Eden Finley
I shouldn’t have come tonight. I wasn’t going to. And then when Paul asked me why, I froze up. Then I got paranoid about him being suspicious, and then Pip texted asking if I was going, and I felt as if I had to.
Lies on top of lies wasn’t me.
On the outside, the solution seemed easy. Leave Paul. He deserved better. But—
“Reece?” Pip’s voice came from behind me, and I quickly wiped my eyes before turning around with a fake smile.
“Stupid pregnancy hormones.”
Yeah, she didn’t believe me. “Hon, what’s going on?”
“Just Reece doing what Reece always does.”
“And how do you think you’ve fucked up your life this time?” Her exasperated tone wasn’t lost on me.
“I swear I’m not being hyperbolic. But I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone. This … this secret is big enough to ruin so many people’s lives.”
“Unless you’re about to tell me you’ve joined ISIS, I’m pretty sure nothing could be that bad.”
“Thanks for the perspective.”
She stepped forward, her bright red hair shimmering off the florescent lights from the pub behind her. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
I hung my head. “I slept with Spence.”
Her eyes widened. “You fucking what?”
“Shh.”
She lowered her voice and whispered, “You fucking what? When? Just now? You were gone for like three minutes. Is that all he takes? Because if you’re going to cheat, it should be with someone who knows what they’re doing. What a rip off.”
I snorted at her attempt at trying to make me feel better. “No, not just now. Like, six, seven weeks ago? Actually, I can tell you exactly when. Subtract nine months from my due date and bam.”
Her mouth gaped open in shock. “Oh, I am so not drunk enough for this. Be right back.” She turned on her heel and went back into the pub.
I wandered to the side of the building where foot traffic couldn’t gawk at the insane woman bawling her eyes out, and after a few minutes where I could’ve sworn I started to settle down, more waterworks came pouring out of me.
A mop of blond, shaggy hair caught my attention. I watched as Spencer crossed the parking lot and got into his old BMW. He punched the steering wheel before taking a deep breath, turning over the ignition, and peeling out of the car park.
I sagged against the side of the building, hating what I was doing to him, but I reminded myself I had to look out for myself and my children.
Pip was back by my side a minute later. “Okay, so I downed three—no, four—shots. I had one for you seeing as you can’t have any. I’m good to go now. So, start from the beginning.”
I sank to the ground.
“I’m wearing a skirt,” she complained as she lowered herself next to me.
“Well, you just had four shots, do you really care?”
“Good point.”
Words like “comfort” and “passionate” and “caring” fell out of my mouth as I described my night with Spencer. I neglected to mention “hot” and “the best sex of my life.”
“Are you going to leave Paul for Spence?”
“What? No. I can’t. It’s not like we’re in love or that we’re ever going to sleep together again. It was a mistake. I was a mess, and he comforted me.”
“With his dick?”
With his extremely talented dick. I sighed. “It made everything worse. God, thinking back to six weeks ago where cold feet was my biggest issue, I can’t believe how stupidly easy I fell into bed with him. Well, it wasn’t actually a bed, more up against a wall … but that’s not the point.”
“Does Spence know the baby’s his?”
“He does now.”
“Aww, babe.” She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me into her so my head was on her shoulder. “What did he say?”
“He wants me to cancel the wedding. I told him I couldn’t do it.”
“So he wants to be with you?”
I shook my head. “He wants to be there for the baby. Don’t try to romanticise something out of nothing. If I was to call off the wedding, I’d be all on my own but with two kids to support. Before I moved in with Paul a few months ago, I was struggling with just Cody. My parents were giving me money so I could afford my rent.”
“I had no idea it was that bad. I’ll be there for you no matter what you do. If you need money, I can lend you—”
“I couldn’t do that to you. I know I’d never be able to repay it.”
“Isn’t Spencer’s company doing well? I mean, I don’t know how much those things earn, but it’s software developing, isn’t it? That’s like big business.”
“You have to be successful to make the big money. He works for a start-up. They’re notorious for folding. Then what would he do? Pay child support off welfare wages?”
“Okay, truth time?”
I nodded, knowing what her truth was going to be. We had a policy between us. Always sugar coat and support each other, until we needed a good truth to the face. The words felt like a slap, but most of the time we needed it. And we knew we’d always be there for each other no matter what was said.
“I honestly think marrying Paul is a big mistake.”
I choked down another sob, because I didn’t want to admit that I thought she was right. But I couldn’t walk away. If I did, I would have nothing.
I was trapped.
5
SPENCER
Reece is pregnant with my child.
Reece is pregnant with my child.
Reece is pregnant with my child.
Nope, no matter how many times I said it in my head, it wasn’t sinking in. Or making sense. I mean, the whole being pregnant because we had sex thing made sense. The fact she was marrying Paul didn’t make a lick of sense to me.
I spent my entire Saturday sitting on my couch, staring through the TV. If someone asked me what I watched, I couldn’t have told them.
It didn’t matter to Reece that I was the baby’s father. Well, most likely the baby’s father. She said there was a fifty-fifty chance, but it’d have to be way more than that considering she said she and Paul were always safe. Right?
At eight PM there was a knock at my door, and I couldn’t for the life of me think who it could be.
When I answered it, Blair stood there in dark jeans and a white button-down shirt. He eyed me up and down in my sweats. “Uh, did you forget we were going out tonight?”
“Shit. Yes.” I ran a hand through my hair. “My whole staff is going to be there, and I promised I’d go.”
“What’s up?”
I let Blair into my house and closed the door behind him. “I’ll go get ready.”
“Wait.” He grabbed my arm to stop me from walking off. “You look like your grandmother died.”
“Have you ever committed the ultimate bro code sin?”
Blair’s face paled slightly and he averted his gaze while his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “What’s the ultimate bro code sin?”
“Thou shalt not hook up with thy bro’s ex or sister.”
His lips slowly formed into a smile. “I can honestly say I’ve never broken that rule.”
My eyes narrowed, wondering if he was lying. Or if there was a loophole in there I was missing.
“Why? Whose sister did you bang?” he asked. “Wait, none of the guys have a sister except for you, which means you slept with someone’s ex. Holy shit, you slept with Reece? No, that wouldn’t be it either; she’s getting married. But Hunter doesn’t have an ex—just random hook-ups—and the only ex I know of Gage’s lives in America … and … wait, did you hook up with one of my exes? Because I’m totally okay with that. Let them be your problem. But so you know, they’re all batshit crazy.”
“Not one of yours. Have you ever screwed up so badly that you have no idea what to do about it?”
Blair laughed. “Oh boy. If you knew half the stuff I’ve done over the last few years. Let’s just say I
’ve not only broken some major bro-code rules, but there’s a lot of shit you guys don’t know about my life. And if it was to ever hit the fan, I’m sure my shit would spread a lot further than yours.”
“Is that why you kinda disappeared on us for four years? I mean, you were always around but not. If that makes sense.”
“You noticed that, huh?”
“Is knocking up your friend’s ex-wife who’s marrying someone else as bad as what you did?”
He stared with a stoic expression, blinking, but not doing much else. “Okay, you win.”
My hands rubbed my tired eyes and face. “You can’t say anything. Reece is claiming the baby isn’t mine.”
“Damn, I feel a lot better about my issues.”
“And she’s marrying Paul anyway.”
“No wonder you’re freaking out.” He rubbed his chin as if in thought. “Okay, I’m not usually one for self-medication—”
I scoffed, not only because he was lying, but it was pretty much how our entire group handled shitty situations. It was unhealthy, no doubt, but we were all kinds of messed up.
“You need to go and get fucked up,” he suggested.
“Drinking’s what got me into this mess in the first place. It never would’ve happened if we weren’t drunk.”
“I’ll play babysitter. I will ensure your dick stays in your pants the entire night. Unless you’re a little bi-curious. Then we could always have some fun.”
My face must’ve contorted without my permission because I didn’t realise I pulled a face until Blair started laughing.
“Oh my God, you should see your face right now. Settle down, straight boys aren’t my type.” He lowered his voice and mumbled, “Anymore.”
“I opened a can of inappropriate worms last night when I brought up your sexuality, didn’t I?”
Blair grinned. “Pretty much. Now, are you going to show me how cool you are with it by introducing me to this assistant of yours or what?”
“I’ll go jump in the shower and get ready.”
Aaaand that was pretty much the last thing I remembered from that night.
***
“Morning, sunshine,” Blair yelled as he opened my bedroom door.
I groaned and rolled over onto my stomach, covering my head with my pillow. “Fuck off.”
Trevor’s laugh filtered through the fog that was my brain.
“Why is my assistant in my house?” I grumbled.
“Wow, that’s impressive. You didn’t even lift your head, and you knew it was me. And I’m here to assist you, of course.” Trevor walked over to the side of my bed and held out a cup of coffee for me.
I sat up as he handed me the mug. Both Blair and Trevor were wearing the same clothes as yesterday. “Did you both stay here last night?”
“You were pretty wasted,” Blair said.
“It took both of us to carry you in from the cab,” Trevor said. “And then Blair and I got to … talking.”
Blair tried to cover a grin.
“Okay, I need details.”
Trevor’s mouth dropped open while Blair chuckled.
I waved them both off. “Not about what you two got up to but of anything embarrassing I did in front of everyone from work.”
“You don’t remember?” Trevor asked.
“None of it.”
“Oh my God, this is going to be awesome. We’ll turn it into a game tomorrow in the office. What did the boss do on Saturday night? It’ll be like The Hangover but with no missing people. Ooh, unless someone went missing after we left. This could be fun.”
“Turn my misery into a game and you’re fired,” I grumbled.
“Is that how you talk to all your staff when you’re sober?” Blair asked. “You were much friendlier with them last night.”
“No, just me,” Trevor said. “He threatens to fire me at least twice a day, but I know he’ll never do it. He loves me. But I better get going before he changes his mind about that.” He turned to walk out and exchanged a weird head nod with Blair.
When the front door shut, Blair let out a relieved breath.
“Did you guys—”
“Sorry, no love at first sight there. He made it clear I wasn’t his type either. He gave good head though.”
I couldn’t stop the laughter even though my brain protested. “Hey, you’re not my type but blow me anyway?”
“You know my pickup line?” He smirked. “We talked, fooled around, and will probably become friends, but we’re looking for different things. I’ve never been socially apt at post hook-up etiquette though. It’s always awkward afterwards.”
“You have no idea. Reece broke down and cried before we’d even straightened our clothes.”
“Damn. What are you gonna do about that whole thing? Did drinking until you couldn’t think help?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t decided yet. She can’t keep the kid away from me if it’s mine, right?”
“What if it’s not yours? She does have a fiancé. Just because the timing works out, doesn’t mean—”
“The condom broke, and she’s always safe with Paul. Apparently.”
He whistled. “I dunno what so say, man. She’s made it clear she’s marrying Paul no matter what. When can you take a paternity test? When the kid is born? Maybe you should wait until you can get tested. Make waves when you know it’s definitely yours.”
“Maybe.”
“I take it you’re not going to go to the wedding.”
“Would have to be invited for that to happen.”
“Ouch.” He winced. “Let me know if you want to go out and forget your problems again. I’ll be happy to babysit. And use your guest room as a hotel.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
“Why don’t you hook up in your own apartment?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t feel like my place yet. It’ll always be Hunter’s older brother’s place to me. He’s my landlord. Hooking up there would be weird.”
“Are you worried you’ll catch an STD from all the chicks Garrett’s done there?”
He laughed but it sounded forced. “Don’t worry, I sanitised the whole place when I moved in.”
“Better to be safe than sorry. I swear he’s worse than Hunter, and I didn’t know that was possible.”
“Rumour is Garrett ran out of girls up here, and that’s why he had to move to Sydney. Okay, I gotta get going. You all good? Want some painkillers or anything?”
“I’m good,” I said, though my voice was still groggy.
“You’ve got six days to make your move if you’re gonna do it.”
I nodded. “Six days to decide if I’m going to be a deadbeat like my own dad or an absolute dick to a girl who’s been through way too much shit in her life.”
“They’re your only choices? Sucks to be you, bro.”
“Thanks for your support, asshole.”
“Anytime.” He walked to the door but turned at the last second. “Oh, and don’t be surprised if a drunken video of you singing karaoke to “Cat’s in the Cradle” appears at work tomorrow.”
I groaned. “Fuck me.”
6
REECE
“I need you to fuck me,” I found myself saying.
He didn’t even pretend to protest. He reached for a condom and put it in my hand.
I couldn’t get it on him fast enough.
When we joined together, I let out a moan so loud he had to cover my mouth with his to keep me quiet.
I felt full and needy at the same time. I was close to going off again, and when he started moving in and out of me, I couldn’t stop trembling.
“Harder,” I whispered. It was all I could seem to say. “Harder. More. Faster.”
He fucked me into the wall, and my whole body ached in glorious ways I never knew were possible.
I tightened around him, the tension building to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. When another tremor wracked my body, I bit down and he groaned, pushing me over the edge. I was co
ming again, and—”
“Reece.” I was being shaken awake. “Reece,” Paul said again. “Sounds like you were having an interesting dream.” He smirked.
My body tingled as if—Oh my God, did I just have the female equivalent of a wet dream? About Spencer?
I looked at Paul. “Sorry. Must be the hormones. They make me batty.”
He rolled on top of me. “And horny, apparently.” Leaning down, he tried to kiss me, but it felt all kinds of wrong after fantasising about Spencer and reliving my moments with him.
As it had every morning when I woke up for the past few weeks, my stomach rolled, and I knew I was about to vomit.
I slipped out from underneath Paul and ran to the bathroom, dry retching into the toilet bowl.
“Shit,” I muttered when nothing came.
I tried not to shudder every time Paul touched me. We hadn’t had sex since I slept with Spencer. I was able to blame the pregnancy for not being in the mood, but the truth was, I wasn’t in the mood for Paul. I couldn’t blame the baby forever. How was that going to work?
I sat on the cold tiles and leaned back against the wall.
I threw my head back and sobbed—because God only knew how it was possible for me to retain so much saltwater—and reminded myself that being with Paul was the right thing by everyone.
Except Spencer.
The voice yelling at me and scolding me for going through with the wedding was getting louder and the one telling me I needed to stay was getting weaker.
Paul leaned against the doorframe to the bathroom wearing long pyjama pants and no shirt. The greying hairs on his chest that I once found sexy glowed like beacons under the bathroom lights, reminding me how much older he was than me.
I didn’t want to break his heart. His caring and giving, compassionate heart. But this was wrong on so many levels. Either way, I was going to hurt Paul. I couldn’t do it to him, but I didn’t know how else to get out.
“A few more weeks and the morning sickness should pass, love,” he said, being sympathetic as if he’d been through morning sickness before.
A snappy “What would you know?” was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit it back. I never spoke to Paul like that, always watching what I said and how I acted. I wasn’t myself around him. I was the better person I thought I should be.
