Mercy for the Damned

by Lisa Olsen

  “No problem there,” he shut the drawer quickly and I got the distinct impression he wasn’t all that comfortable around guns. Or maybe it was just that one, since it’d been so recently jammed up against his throat.

  “Seriously, stay away from Ben. I’d hate to lose you.”

  “You and me both, angel.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Adam took one look at me when I walked in the door and his hands clenched tight enough to crush my TV remote to useless bits of plastic. “Who hit you?” he demanded, scaring me a little with his intensity. I’d almost forgotten about the blow. It didn’t even hurt anymore, but I knew I’d have to tell him about what went down with Ben at the club. I’d just hoped I could bring it up in a less confrontational manner.

  “Adam… I’m fine. It was an accident, and I already took care of it.”

  “Who… hit… you…?”

  “It was Ben.” The moment his name slipped from my lips I knew it was a mistake. I should have told him I walked into a door or something. “I told you, I already took care of it, he won’t be bothering me again.”

  “He’s a dead man,” Adam muttered, already two steps away from the sliding door. I put on a burst of speed, surprising both of us when I blocked his path.

  “No, Adam… please don’t do this.”

  “I told you, I protect what’s mine.”

  “I can protect myself! I already made my point, Ben knows not to mess with me or Parker or anyone else I care about.” In a hurried, somewhat mixed up way, I told him about Ben’s visit to the club and how I’d stopped him easily, but failed to heal him in the end.

  That brought him up short. “Why did he come after Parker anyway? I thought the story about you dating him was all lies.”

  “It was… it is!” Trust that to be the only thing he keyed into. “Ben’s unstable, not thinking clearly. He saw the two of us together and I think something snapped.”

  “What were you doing with him exactly?”

  “Oh God, not you too…” Why did men have to be so lunkheaded? “Adam, there is nothing going on between me and Parker! He’s seriously into Luz. Remember, the witch who ran the binding on Azazael?”

  “That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a thing for you.”

  “No, it’s pretty serious. In fact, he blew me off on Christmas plans to spend time with her and her kids.”

  “So what? You don’t know how a guy thinks, Mercy. He’s biding his time, we’ve all done it. Who wants to be alone when you’re pining over a girl that’s out of reach if there’s a willing one nearby?”

  “Is that how you spent your time when you left me before to keep me ‘safe’?” My hands went to my hips.

  “Mercy…”

  “Answer me, Adam. Is that why you didn’t answer my calls back then, ‘cause you already had a willing girl on your lap to take the edge off your misery without me?” My voice rose, tears threatening when he didn’t immediately deny it. “Oh, this gets better and better…”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “How was it then, Adam? You know what? Nevermind.” I stepped away from the door. The last thing I wanted to know was how he found comfort in the arms of another woman. Or women. It shouldn’t matter since our on again, off again thing was off at the time and I was technically with Ben, but it still hurt like hell. “I love you, but I need a little space right now.”

  “Fine, I have an errand to run anyway.” Moving past me, he slid the door open with enough force to make Mimsy jump from her cozy vantage point on the end of the couch.

  “Don’t you dare go after Ben,” I called him back.

  “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he smirked, knowing it would bother me, I could see it in his eyes.

  “Don’t bother to come back if you hurt him!” I hurled after him, but Adam was already gone by the time the last words were spoken. My stomach churned, and I ran to make it to the bathroom before the heaving started. So much for not getting the flu…

  “Are you unwell, Mistress?” I heard Nelo’s hesitant voice behind me as I slumped on the bathroom floor.

  “I’m fine, Nelo, a little under the weather, that’s all.”

  “Will you feel better when it stops raining?” he smiled at me so earnestly, I forgot to cry, my tears turning to a hiccupping laugh.

  “I sure hope so, Nelo.”

  “The forecast calls for rain for the next ten days…”

  “I need some rest, I’m sure I’ll feel much more like my old self tomorrow,” I assured him, not wanting him to worry, even though I felt like poo on toast.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you for asking though. I’m sorry if we disturbed you with our… yelling.” There wasn’t any other word for it.

  “It is of no moment, Mistress. I’m well used to enduring far worse.”

  Considering the manner of his upbringing, I didn’t doubt that. “I’m still sorry. I’m off to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Broken in body and spirit, I lay down on my bed, but scarcely did my head hit the pillow, when I found myself squinting against a golden halo of light. Cracking my eyes open, I closed them quickly when I found Nathanael scowling down at me. “Great. Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better,” I muttered, laying an arm over my eyes.

  “I can assure you, madam, this is no picnic for me either,” he sneered. “I will endeavor to deliver my message as quickly as possible.”

  “Fine,” I sighed, sitting higher in bed. I could tell it bugged him to address me in my bedroom, but he was the one who trespassed without knocking in the first place. “So, go ahead, deliver your message.”

  “I have been sent to take you to task for utterly failing in your efforts to avoid the prophecy as delivered by Raziel.”

  “Um… okay,” I blinked. “Am I missing something? I thought we took care of that. Not in a good way for Raziel, but we avoided the big apocalyptic evil by getting Adam out of Midian alright.”

  “The prophecy did not speak of Adam, it spoke of Azazael.”

  “No sweat, we have him bound here.”

  “Did you even read the prophecy?” his eyes narrowed in disdain.

  “Yeah, and it was about as clear as mud, as usual. If you wanted us to get Azazael out first, you should have said so. Raziel said we had to get Adam out or terrible things would happen.” Or had he? Trying to cast my mind back to the actual words of the prophecy, I seemed to recall it mentioning one of the Fallen in Midian… We’d all assumed that meant Adam, not Ben.

  “It’s of no consequence to us whether or not Adam rots in Midian for all eternity. His decision to bring Azazael there though, that has broken the covenant.”

  “You could have mentioned all of this before we busted our buns trying to get him out of there!” With great effort, I put a lid on my temper, already feeling my stomach lurch uncomfortably. “What’s this about a covenant?” That didn’t sound good.

  “What’s done is done,” he waved away my question. “Our concern now is repairing the damage with limited human involvement. What possessed you to bring them into it in the first place?”

  “Hey, it’s our world too, you know. Why wouldn’t I involve other humans? Besides, it’s not like I took out a billboard ad, I only brought in people I trust.”

  “Need I remind you that you are not human at all? Especially now, I can see the mongrel Grace shining all over you. You can rest assured He will not turn a blind eye for long.”

  I’d been hoping no one upstairs would notice the fact that I had three separate Graces merged within me now, and I swallowed nervously, changing the subject. “So, what’s this terrible thing that’s supposed to happen? We got Azazael out of there and bound safely away. Isn’t that enough? What other damage are we supposed to be controlling?”

  “Azazael is bound, true enough, but he has left his mark upon the one he inhabited for so long in Midian. Had he remained here, the effects would have been immediately noticea
ble and greatly lessened, but in Midian…”

  “It’s magnified, I get it,” I frowned, tapping my bottom lip as I puzzled my way through it. No wonder Ben had been acting so off the rails since we’d brought him back from Midian. There was some relief in knowing it wasn’t his fault, but I had no idea how to repair the damage. “So Ben is tainted by evil now? What can we do to fix him?”

  “That, to be precise, is your problem.” He looked almost smug about delivering that little tidbit.

  “How can it be my problem when you just said it’s this big horrible evil that’s destined to screw over the whole world? Isn’t that what you people are for? Guarding over us, protecting us? Or them?” If he wasn’t lumping me in with the humans anymore, that was fine. But he couldn’t seriously think the entire thing was my responsibility and wash his hands of it.

  “I am not your keeper. You saw fit to leave him behind in the demon realm to live out his penance in order to save your lover, as I recall. Perhaps you should be more careful with your allies, madam, you find yourself growing short handed by your own design.”

  “I didn’t…” I stopped myself from trying to explain it was Raziel who volunteered to swap places with Adam, realizing it wouldn’t do a lick of good with the pompous jerk. “Oh, whatever. Look, are you gonna do something about Ben or not?”

  “I would like nothing more than to grind him into the dirt where he belongs, but it seems that He in his infinite wisdom has decreed that you should clean up your own mess.” Nathanael looked almost upset at the revelation, and I realized he hadn’t been given dispensation to do anything at all but deliver the message. What had Adam said? The man upstairs wasn’t all that big on free will, Nathanael’s hands were tied.

  “How are we supposed to take care of it without killing him? Is there even a way to restore someone who’s been contaminated like that?”

  “I suggest you find a way. Or ask Adam what it’s like to fall out of His good graces.” Another smug smile was given, and Nathanael zoomed out of there in the blink of an eye.

  When it rains, it pours…

  “Adamiel!” I yelled, because as much as I’d wanted space after our last argument, I didn’t want to face the news on my own. He must not have gone far, because he strolled in from the living room minutes later.

  “Was that Nathanael I saw high tailing it out of here? Just how many men have you been entertaining in your bedroom lately?” he smirked, and I shot him a dirty look.

  “Stop being an asshat for once and listen up. That wasn’t a social call, Mr. Sourpuss had an official message to give us.”

  Adam propped himself up against the doorframe, arms crossed at his chest. “I’m listening.”

  “Apparently, we completely missed the point of the prophecy. It wasn’t about getting you out of Midian, it was about getting Ben out.”

  “So? Who cares? We got him out.”

  “Not quick enough. He was there long enough to be corrupted by Midian or Azazael, I’m not entirely sure what the small print entails, but he’s definitely our big bad now.”

  “Is that all?” Adam looked genuinely relieved, happy even.

  “What do you mean is that all? Nathanael said we were on our own to figure out how to stop him from bringing about this terrible evil, they won’t help us at all.”

  “Who needs their help? This is not a problem. I’ll pop around to his place, take care of it and be back in time for breakfast.”

  “You can’t kill him,” I said patiently, using the tone reserved for talking to small children or the developmentally challenged.

  “The hell I can’t,” Adam snorted. “I just got special dispensation to ‘take care’ of it. That sounds like a sanction to get rid of him if I ever heard one.”

  “It’s not his fault he’s like this. You’re the one who took him to Midian and broke the covenant, whatever that is. Why should he have to die for something you did to him?”

  “Oh, so now this is all my fault? I was trying to keep you safe, Mercy. I had no idea he’d give in to the dark side.”

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to go around and around, playing the blame game. “I’m not saying that. I’m saying we owe it to Ben to try and fix him without killing him.” I kept to myself the part about not involving humans. As far as I was concerned, the cat was already out of the bag, and Luz might prove to be a valuable resource in restoring Ben’s soul.

  “Well then, I’m fresh out of ideas. My problem solving skills tend to involve more direct methods.”

  I could imagine. “Let’s think this through. I’m still a little fuzzy on what Ben’s supposed to do exactly. I mean sure, he’s not operating with a full deck anymore, but he’s just a guy right? A human. Shouldn’t we be able to stop him from doing whatever he’s up to pretty easily?”

  “That’s my point entirely, we don’t need those stiffs telling us what to do, we can handle it in-house,” Adam nodded.

  “And we have Azazael safely bound, he can’t easily break him out, and…” All at once a terrible feeling came over me. Scrambling out of bed, I darted to the closet door, slamming it open with a little too much force so that it jumped off the track, hot disappointment lancing through me as I stared at the empty space where the pink box used to be. “No… no, no, no! This isn’t happening! Where is the box?”

  “Mistress?” A small voice came from the door, Nelo’s head popping in.

  “Now is not a good time, Nelo,” I waved him off, even though I knew he was awfully nervous with all the yelling around the apartment that night.

  “I know where the box is.”

  That caught our attention. “Did you see who took it? Was it Ben?” I whirled, and he shrank back even further, just his eyes visible.

  “Was I not supposed to let him take the box? I thought he was our friend. You let him stay here…”

  My eyes closed for long seconds as I tamped back the string of curses letting loose inside my mind. “No, Ben is not our friend anymore. If he comes around here anymore you stay away from him.”

  “I’m sorry, Mistress…” Nelo slipped away, probably to go hide in the closet again. It was a good thing he was the closest thing we had to a kid, like Adam pointed out. Any child we raised would probably end up in serious therapy.

  “It’s not your fault, Nelo. He would have taken it anyway if you’d tried to stop him.” I leaned against the wall, the strength going out of my legs. “He has the box. What are we going to do now?” I’d laid Azazael to rest in the part of my life designated for things I didn’t have to worry about. With him missing, would I be looking for him to jump out around every corner or attack me every time I closed my eyes?

  “Hey, Mercy, it’s okay,” Adam wrapped his arms around me. “Like you said, he can’t open it easily, or at all. We’ve got some time to get it back.”

  “No, but that means he’s definitely in cahoots with Azazael. We were so stupid for not thinking he’d be corrupted by having the guy inside him for months and months. Of course he’s his stooge now!”

  “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

  “I wish I could believe you,” I rested my head against his chest. “I feel like I’ve been running and running and I never get there, and I can’t stop…” my eyes closed tiredly. “And there’s so far to go.”

  Adam tipped my face up to look at him, his thumb brushing across my lower lip. “But you don’t have to run alone,” he offered me a crooked smile.

  “I’m sorry, about before. My temper’s been on a short fuse lately,” I offered by way of apology. The last thing I wanted to do was push him away. He was right, I didn’t want to do it alone.

  “I’m sorry too. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to answer to anyone but me, and sometimes I forget how.”

  “You don’t have to answer to me, but don’t expect me to be thrilled with everything you do. Especially if you do something you know I’ll hate.”

  “Like killing Ben…”

  “Like killing Ben,” I nodded. “Pro
mise me you’ll leave him alone until we figure out how to fix him.”

  “What about getting the box back?”

  “No, you’re right, he can’t open it. We’ll get it back when the time is right.”

  “And if he comes after me?”

  “Then you have my permission to kick his ass. But don’t kill him.”

  “What if I promise to try not to kill him? I’ll just maim him a little,” he grinned and I felt some of the tension ease out of my shoulders.

  “Oh alright, a little maiming if he gets out of hand. I’ll expect you to be the one to heal any damage you cause though,” I poked him on the chest to emphasize my point.

  “I can live with that.” Adam swept me off my feet, carrying me the few feet to the bed. “But no chasing after anyone tonight, you look like you need your rest.”

  “Is that a polite way of telling me I look awful?”

  “You look beautiful,” he smiled, “just tired.”

  “Stay with me?” I hated the neediness in my voice, but I hated the thought of him leaving even more.

  “For as long as you want me to,” the pledge was given as he lay down beside me, drawing me into the shelter of his arms.

  *

  I awoke to an empty bed, but that was for the best, as my nausea was back in full force. It took me about an hour to drag myself out of bed and get ready for the day. With a great effort, I steered my initial suspicious conclusions involving Adam breaking his promise and going after Ben anyway, and tried to hold onto the trust that he would do the right thing. The problem was, my idea of the right thing didn’t always align with his. To Adam, the end truly did justify the means, and I wasn’t built that way. Maybe after a few centuries of perspective we might be on the same page, but for the present, I couldn’t embrace his morality or lack thereof.

  It turned out I didn’t have to worry though, I found a voicemail from him after my morning cup of tea with the message that he had a scathingly brilliant idea, and he’d see me later for a romantic evening. While I did have the night off, I wasn’t feeling particularly romantic, or productive, and I puttered around the apartment, trying to work up the nerve to go out and brave the crowds at the nearest mall to finish up my holiday shopping.