by Dee Ellis
Want more.
I rushed to the kitchen before I let the coffee burn, cursing as I nearly dropped the hot pot. Gigi told me her pretty professor claimed he was not stalking us. Had nothing to do with notes or flowers.
Had it not been Dexter? Had Bree been behind this stalking bullshit the whole time? To fuck up what I had with Gigi? The bitch was cunning enough for it. Certainly evil enough for it.
Didn’t really make sense. Why stalk Gigi, not me? Then again, where you found Gigi, you usually found me. Fuck.
No fucking way I fucked that whore.
Bile rose up in the back of my throat, and I downed my coffee fast. Burning my throat didn’t chase away the fear. The panic. If it was true, Bree might be right this time. Because we promised no more lies now. Not ever again. This was a huge fucking lie if it was true.
It was a truth I might have kept even from myself.
“Fuck, I love you. Yes, baby, please.” Gigi moaned as I drove into her again and again.
Halfway to her parents’ place, I couldn’t take it. We had a quickie in the shower before heading out, but I was desperate. Both because I loved Gigi so much, and because I was terrified.
I didn’t want to think about why. Especially not as I pounded up into her, watching her beautiful face flush with pleasure. God damn, she was beautiful when she got hot for me. I'd never get enough.
“I love you. So much. So fucking much, Gigi. Look at me.” Gigi’s eyes were bright green, barely any blue in the left one, and hooded.
“Make me come, baby. I need it. Please.” I growled as my fingers dug into her hips.
“Yes. I need it too. Need to feel you come for me.” It was quiet and freezing, but we were both burning up and loud as I fucked her.
Gigi looked amazing today. Her wrist, ears, and neck glittered with the jewelry I had been gifting her with lately. My eye kept focusing on that left hand, where soon my ring would be. The fear that I might never get to see that drove me to pull off the road.
I loved that Gigi was always good with my needs. Gave me her pussy whenever I needed it. I no sooner parked, and she was dropping her panties and asking me how I wanted her.
Throwing the barn door style hatch on the truck open, I urged her to the back. There, I dropped to my knees in the snow. Murmuring how much I loved her, I devoured her sweet pussy before sliding deep inside.
“Let me see those pretty eyes when you come for me. Tell me what I need to hear. I need it, Sweet Girl.” I pumped again and again, the skirt of her pretty dressed hiked up to her waist.
“Oh, God! Yes. I’m coming, baby. I love you so much. So fucking much, Finn.” I only lasted a few more pumps before the tightness of her closing around me as she came undid me.
“I love you.” Once we said it, we couldn’t seem to say it enough. I hope she didn’t hear the fear lacing it today.
“Mmm, I love feeling you lose control inside me. So beautiful.”
“I want you to have my kids, Gigi,” I don’t know where it came from, but there it was, “I want to see you pregnant.” Gigi’s eyes were wide, our breathing harsh in the icy air.
“Finn…tell me what’s wrong.” Fuck; she knows me too well.
“Nothing is wrong in my world. We’re fucking golden. I love you. Let’s get a new place. Together. Our own place that’s not…dirty because of what happened before us.” I was sounding desperate now, but really, I meant every word.
“Finn…I love you. I want your babies,” We both took a sharp breath, and her eyes filled with tears, “I want to live with you wherever you want me. Just…don’t lie to me. Something is wrong.”
“Shit. Something is wrong. I love you so much. I think…I am scared to be Finn and Gigi at the Cooper’s place today. I’m scared you might realize…. I was right before; that I’m no fucking good for you.” This was not a lie, and I knew I couldn’t talk about Bree now. Not today, and not yet.
“Oh, baby. Was it really ever anything else but Finn and Gigi? For years, we sat next to each other at Mom’s table. Now, I can hold your hand or kiss you or touch your beautiful cock. I loved you then, and I love you now. Nothing changed, except the truth.” Shit, that stung a little because I was looking into her eyes, still buried deep inside her, and I was lying.
“I love you, Gigi. More than I ever thought I could love anything. When you say it…when you look at me the way you do and you tell me you love me…I feel it everywhere at once. I feel like every time you say it, you wipe away a bit of the ash of my past. Of the filthy piece of shit I was. You make me better. Make me think of a future with us, and babies, and just…good shit. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. Promise me. No matter what. Fucking promise me you’re mine. For good. For keeps. Please.” My voice was hoarse and tears slid down to my beard, icy in the chilly snow.
“Never. Nothing is taking you away from me again. I love you. I am in love with you. For keeps, Finn.” Her lips touched to mine, and I wasn’t sure if the tears were hers or mine.
The family didn’t act different during dinner and I was thankful. I had not been lying about being nervous about that. I had been to dozens of Cooper family get togethers but, I never brought someone with me.
I couldn’t do that; not only because they were my family and I wouldn’t bring the types of girls I hung with home to them. But, I couldn’t do that to Gigi.
Like always, I sat beside her. Gigi sat between Cage and I one holiday and it had been the same ever since. Tonight, though, I slid my hand between her thighs, and traced my pinky over her bare lips. We behaved ourselves otherwise. Hard not to with Deacon just feet away, watching all his kids in love at the same time.
Tegan, the second oldest sister, would be marrying soon. Then, Cage and Charli; it sounded like they had a summer wedding planned. It was all the girls talked about before dinner.
Then, hopefully, it was Gigi’s turn. If my woman said yes, all the Cooper kids would be married by this time next year. Regan made an announcement after dinner that she and her husband Parker were expecting a baby.
I thought back to my comment in the back of the truck. About wanting to see Gigi pregnant. It was said in desperation; a need to make her stay with me. Seeing the girls giggle and gossip about the coming baby, I knew better.
I did want kids with her; of course I did. I wanted to see her sexy body pregnant. I wanted to watch her hold my child in her arms. I wanted a whole fucking life with her; tiny little nerdy Gigi’s and bad ass baby Finn’s sounded awesome.
“You two want kids, bro?” I asked Cage as we stood away from the ovary explosion inside.
“Fuck yeah. I want a ton of little Charli’s. Man. Maybe not, though,” He laughed, gazing at Charli, “I’d be in for hell with the boys. You think you and Gigi…. I mean…I never believed you might grow up to be that guy.” Cage sucked at the pricey cigar his father had handed each of us as we retreated to the deck.
“Me either. Now, though,” I sighed, watching her giggle with Charli, their arms laced together, “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Nothing I won’t give her. I love the shit out of that woman. I don’t remember a time I didn’t. It was different, but…now...I’d love to have a family like yours, Cage. I didn’t know that shit existed till you guys.” Cage smiled and gave a squeeze at my shoulder.
“I am glad it's you, Finn. I questioned it once, but you know Gigi better than a lot of us. I thought you might dull that special thing about her. Instead,” Cage glanced at his fiancé and the love of my life, love beaming in his eyes, “man, she’s on fire with how special she is. Because of you. I don’t think anyone else could make her look that way, feel that way. It was always going to be you.” We peered out at the lake as we let the emotion settle a little.
“I am going to ask her on Christmas. To marry me. I’m standing up for you at your wedding. Will you do…will you do the same for me if she says yes, Cage?” Cage whirled his head around, a bright, dimpled grin cracking his face in half.
“Fuck, yes, bro.
Gigi will say yes, Finn. No matter what your past is, no matter the hurt you cause someone who loves you the way she loves you, her answer will be yes. You hurt yourself too. Hopefully the biggest pain is over. You will fuck up, Finn. I will too. Charli will get hurt, and it will fucking kill me. You will hurt Gigi, and it’ll kill you too. It’s life.” I winced as I sucked at the cigar, thinking about this morning. About Bree’s claim.
“I don’t ever want to hurt her like I have all this time. I know I will again, but it won’t ever be the same kind of hurt. I promise you that.” This might be a lie if I figured out the truth about that claim.
The other men wandered over; Parker and Miles had bonded because of the closeness between Tegan and Regan. We talked about football and fires and nothing more about the ladies. It was chilly and snowing out but we stayed out, on that deck until our cigars were gone. It felt good to feel a part of something like that.
I was terrified of losing Gigi, but I also didn’t want to think of losing this family. I would if I lost her. Not because they would cast me out, though it was a possibility. Because if I lost her, I would have to walk away. I knew that now more than ever.
To have her the way I did now, I couldn't go back. In fact, I refused to consider Gigi having a before and after that involved me. I knew I couldn’t handle another after Gigi.
The only after I wanted with her was a Happily Ever After.
16
“I. Want. More. He doesn’t deserve you.” Seemed clear to me.
Someone was not done with me. After my chat with Jordan, I'd hoped the notes and flowers were over. Since the holiday weekend, I had been proven wrong.
Every day, I got a single rose with a nasty note delivered. Either dirty shit someone wanted to do to me, or threatening ones like the one Mags just read out loud.
The shop was empty and had been slow all day. The rose, a bright red one that made me think of blood, mocked me. Mags intercepted it in her attempt to pass all evidence right to Finn.
Instead, I made her read me the letter. The others, showing up at my door, on the steps of our condo, on Finn’s blazer, had been passed to Diggs.
The hand writing looking different in each one, they were all on different paper, and they had no clue who was behind them. I sat with my knees brought against my chest, rocking on the edge of the counter.
“You know,” Mags shoved her curly carrot curls into a low pony tail, “I don’t believe it is your professor. I think it’s that slutty, scheming honey bun, Bree.”
Absolutely, I thought it might be Bree too. After that cryptic comment about her from Jordan, it was all I had been able to consider.
Bree was clever and cunning, and had run games like this very one on people before. Pitting couples against each other so she could steal one of them away. Bree had no preference.
Bree was capable of a lot worse than some dirty notes and a few roses. It made no sense for it to be Bree. Since I had known her, she stayed with no man, or woman for that matter, for more than a few nights. Bree’s remark about only one of the men I had been with saying no meant one thing.
Finn had slept with her.
The night after the pub, after I asked Finn for details that made me sick, I learned something. There might have been many before me. Maybe even Bree. That hurt and I wasn’t right with it yet, but I would be. Because I knew something none of them did.
I would be the last.
“Might be Bree. Certainly capable of some dark shit like this.” I snatched the rose off the counter and crushed the petals in my hand.
“Anything other than the flowers and notes?” Mags asked as the front door chimed, a customer stomping their feet in the snow.
“Few texts. Restricted numbers. Just dirty talk. I don’t feel like I’m being followed now; Jordan might not be behind this,” I waved at the note as Mags tucked it into a baggie. “I think it was him following us, though. After we talked last, I feel like it stopped. I just don’t get what the point of it all is.” Sighing, I slid from the counter as the customer approached.
After that, we got busy with a stream of after work and mid evening shoppers. My phone vibrated in my pocket, but I had no chance to check it.
When we closed up shop at eight, I finally pulled it out. It crashed to the floor when I saw the text message at the top of the screen. It was Finn. A photo of him at least.
Sitting at O’Malley’s with a busty brunette on his lap. They were kissing, his tongue clearly slipping into her mouth. My body caved in on me as I bent over the sink I’d been doing dishes in and emptied my stomach. Shaky hands snatched up the phone as I crouched on the floor.
There were more photos. All from an unidentified number, of course. Photos of his hands groping her tits. The two of them dancing in the smoky club. Laughing together as they stared at each other in the fluorescent glowing lighting. I knew it was O’Malley’s by the wall décor. By the mug gripped in Finn’s hand.
The left hand. Where he wore a tattoo. My key. It caught the light just right, mocking me as that hand cradled her jaw. Tipped her face back as he sunk his tongue into her mouth. One last photo was the two of them leaving, the brunette glancing back. Bree.
Despite the dark hair and tame clothing, leggings and a sweater, it was her face. I could recognize her despite the dark locks cascading down her back. The lip print tattoo just beneath her ear and the scar over her left brow confirmed it.
I retched until I was choking. Gasping for air, tears streaming down my face. Mags came rushing in after locking the doors, folding in beside me.
I shoved the phone at her, and she gasped. Then, she laughed. Actually laughed. I shoved away from her and gaped at her.
Was it some huge fucking conspiracy? Make a complete idiot out of trusting, naïve Gigi? Who was in on it? Who wasn’t in on it felt more apt.
“What. The. Fuck. Mags?!” I screeched, crab walking backwards on the tile floor.
“Oh, Sweetie,” Mags wiped her eyes, “I think Bree just confirmed it.” I stared at her in disgust.
“That she’s fucking Finn? My Finn? I figured that, Mags. Jesus, fuck.” Trembling hands wove through my hair, tugging at it until my scalp burned.
“Oh, no. You think…Sweetie. Take a second look. It’s all wrong. Look at the clothes. Sunglasses. Flip flops. Shorts. I don’t doubt it is Bree with Finn. I doubt it was recent. Look again.” Mags slid her arm back around me and I let her.
Then I stared at the phone like it might burn me. I spun it to face me with my thumb and forefinger. Squinting as I scrolled through the photos, I realized Mags was right.
Finn was wearing a CFD tee shirt and jeans. Expensive sneakers. Not heavy motorcycle boots, his cold season staple. That CFD shirt.
After we first got together, I stole one of his shirts. It hung low and the sleeves reached my forearms. It was deep blue with the station badge on the back. Finn had a lot like it, but this one was different.
The anniversary of the station was stamped on one arm. The guys all got one. Just one. I wore Finn’s to bed last night. At my place, where it was now folded neatly on my pillow.
Folding my legs against my chest, I swiped through the photos. Pinching them to zoom closer. There were six photos. Three of them, Finn did not have his tattoo.
The other three, that tattoo looked fresher. Didn’t blend with the skull tattoo at the back of his hand quite right. Doctored. They were all doctored.
What was not doctored was the fact that Bree had her tongue in my man’s mouth. Nor was the photo where his huge hands grabbed her tits, his head bent so he could kiss them as they spilled from her sweater.
If I had any contents of my stomach, I might get sick again. The betrayal these photos meant left me feeling wretched.
“Finn fucked Bree. Then lied to me about it.” I didn’t know if I was angry about that; I think I might have preferred to be ignorant.
“Oh, sweetie. You don’t know that. The photos are clearly staged. That last one, look at that harlot smiling r
ight at whoever took those photos. Bree kept these photos for ammo. Doesn’t mean they did the deed.” Mags could be right, but I felt it somewhere in my gut that she wasn’t.
“I don’t want to know the truth. I don’t.” I mumbled.
After that special, and I hoped final, night at the pub, I thought I knew it all. I knew he kept two women as regulars before me. I knew there were double digits of one timers. Knew that he shared women with Hunter and even Diggs.
I didn’t want to know about Bree. Not just because it would mean he was lying. It was for selfish reasons. I had adored Bree at one point. I can vaguely remember it.
I thought she was so sophisticated and daring. Soon, I learned her sophistication was paid for and the daring streak was actually recklessness.
“Maybe you don’t need to. We don’t need all the parts to make something work. Got a watch from my dad before he passed. Treasured that little pocket watch. Fancy, pretty little thing. One day, a gear quit working on it. I was devastated. The watch maker removed the gear and it worked like a champ; told me the gear didn’t affect the movement of the watch. Bree’s moment with Finn, whatever it was, doesn’t need to affect the movement of you two.”
Huh. That was brilliant.
“Maggie Dorchester, you’re pretty fucking brilliant. I think I might love you. I don’t need to know. Finn doesn’t have to have all my parts either. If I didn’t love him so much, I might have truly tried Jordan Dexter out.” Mags shot me a look as I wiggled my brows and we both laughed.
I leapt to my feet, reaching my arms out to tug Maggie up beside me. I towered over her so the hug I locked her in got a little awkward. Her curls just reached my bosom. We laughed it off as we broke up to head out for the night.
My nerves were frazzled, and I wanted to see Finn. With the bombardment of letters, calls and basic creepiness, I agreed to be babysat by whoever was available.
Tonight, it was Cage. Finn was working, and Charli was dealing with wedding stuff. Outside in Charli’s truck, Cage greeted me with a yank on my braid and a smirk. I handed over the latest rose and note.
