Perfect Chaos

by Nashoda Rose

  “You’re not going out with him.”

  I sighed. Here we go. “Why not?”

  “Because he’s an arrogant ass.” And he obviously had checked up on Tristan.

  “I find that kind of hot. Besides, you’re an arrogant ass.”

  Deck didn’t look impressed. Actually, he moved further into my space so his leg was between mine. “This isn’t up for discussion.”

  “No, it’s not.” Because discussing anything with Deck just didn’t happen.

  “Babe.” Jesus, I seriously hated when he called me that. It made me want to jump him. It also made him sound … well, real and human, not cold and uncompassionate. But most of all, it made him sound like I was his. “I don’t like the blue. Change it.”

  A squeak of outrage escaped my mouth, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. When Deck spoke, he told you the truth. With him—no pretence. The complete opposite of me.

  I went to smack him, but he got a lock on my upper arms. I struggled, wiggling pretty pathetically considering he was twice my weight and a head taller. “I’m dating him, and since when is my hair any of your business?” Deck had no filter, kind of like me. Except I talked fantasy and bullshit; he talked real-life honesty.

  “Were you singing on stage drunk? Did security have to drag you off stage? Did Matt cut you off?”

  Shit, total change of topic and not in my favor. “Tyler has a big mouth.” He was one of Deck’s guys from his company Unyielding Riot. The men who worked for Deck were either ex-military, ex-gang or ex-fucked-up and dangerous. Wherever they came from, they all had specialized skills of some kind needed for the work they did, and most of it was illegal. But from what I knew, it was eliminating this world of some of the worst assholes.

  When Deck went away on a mission, most of the time one of his men would stay back and keep an eye on me. Overprotective, obsessive-compulsive control freak. Could’ve used that when he left me for those two years.

  “You holler, pretty girl?”

  Deck’s hands dropped from me as the steady drum of boots came toward us. Tyler had a coffee in hand and a broad grin on his face. He was a definite cupcake—no second-guessing or wondering if you should take a bite or pass. He was a ‘grab it and taste while you had the chance’. And chances with Tyler would be quick considering he wasn’t the type to stick around for breakfast in the morning.

  “Told you I’d be out in five,” Deck said.

  Tyler shrugged, ignoring Deck’s frown. “Five, two, ten; it’s all the same.”

  I laughed because that was such bullshit. Tyler had also been in the elite JTF2, and one second off could mean the difference of life or death. There was no half-assing the time. “Tyler, hon. I was just going to tell Deck about us.” I saw him visibly swallow and his bright-blue eyes widen with alarm as I playfully smiled and winked at him. Deck’s gaze shot to Tyler and I sweetened the pot. “It’s nothing serious, Deck. Just a few nights of us fooling around.”

  Tyler stepped back and his hand tightened around his cup, which made the lid pop off and coffee spill over the top. He yelled as the hot liquid burnt his skin and he dropped the cup, black steaming liquid splattering onto the floor.

  I watched with amusement, biting my lower lip to stop from laughing aloud because I wanted to play this out a little longer … until I saw Deck’s face.

  “Deck.” I grabbed for him as he dove for Tyler. “Deck. I was kidding.” Whoa, I wasn’t expecting this reaction. Deck was always in control. Tyler moved too late as Deck slammed his fist into his face, and he staggered backward, landing hard on his ass.

  “Fuck.” Tyler shook his head. “I never touched her, boss.”

  “Deck.” I ran up and stood in front of him, placing my palms on his chest. “You look smokin’ hot, all badass and shit, but Tyler and I … yeah, so not happening. I was just kidding around.” I looked over my shoulder at Tyler still sitting on the ground, rubbing his jaw. “You didn’t have to tell him everything that happened Saturday night.”

  “Pretty girl, you know I have to.”

  Yeah, I did. I moved away from Deck who was silent and still looking from me to Tyler. “But, you said you wouldn’t mention the security thing.”

  “And you really remember our chat that night?” Tyler said, brows rising.

  I did, but of course, he wouldn’t think that. I had been slurring my words and stumbling. “Rylie said—”

  He huffed. “Rylie was drunk off her ass, too.” Yeah, she was the perfect partner, and she didn’t even know it. Tyler got to his feet and before I saw what was coming, he hauled off and shot Deck one in the jaw. Except Deck didn’t go down, just staggered back a step. “I know the fuckin’ rules.”

  A Deck rule—no messing with his dead best friend’s sister. I’d overheard him telling his men this when he first came back when I was eighteen … well, just turned nineteen.

  He’d been in the back of my coffee shop with Josh, Tyler and Vic after installing all the security cameras. I was bringing them coffees when I heard him say, “Connor’s sister is off-limits.”

  Tyler had laughed. “Damn, are you claiming her, Boss?”

  “Fuck no,” Deck replied. “She’s off-limits to all of us.”

  The coffees ended up on the floor as the churning mix of emotions threw me in a dark, closed cistern while his words echoed in my head.

  At that time, I’d still had hope for Deck and me, even though it was a dangerous thought because I knew better for a number of reasons. But just hearing him say that, the reality of Deck and me never becoming anything more than what we were—and I wasn’t even sure what that was—came crashing to the ground and disappeared beneath the rubble of cement.

  It broke me. And here I thought I had already been broken.

  I remember the second our eyes met, locked, and then his cool mask of unemotional glare seeped into me.

  I must have looked a sight with coffee spilled down the front of me. It had burned my skin, yet I didn’t feel the pain; only emotional pain was filtering through me. Then came the pissed off, and I kicked one of the empty coffee cups next to my foot.

  “Why the fuck not?” I’d yelled.

  Deck, in his usual calm manner, merely said because he said so—period. Well, the period became an abrupt dash when I freaked. My control on my emotions was still a work in progress at the time. I walked straight up to Josh who’d been standing beside the stock shelf and kissed him.

  Josh’s hands came to my hips and I felt the slight push, but then his mouth eased under mine and I heard him groan. It only lasted a few seconds before we both pulled back at the same time.

  I had no interest in Josh or any of Deck’s men. It was the point. It was then my anger turned to disgust with myself for being so weak when I’d been trying hard for the last two years to get past these feelings I had for Deck.

  The guys had made themselves scarce as Deck and I stared at one another and then he said, “My men are off-limits to you because every mission we go on, there is a good chance one of us might not come back. Your brother never wanted that for you.” Then he left and we never discussed it again.

  Deck ran his hand over the top of his head, then down his face. The flicker of uneasiness in his eyes was unusual for him. Steady as a rock, but something was different in him. I noticed it over the last few months. He was gone most of the time and when he was here, he was distant. Well, he was always distant, but something wasn’t sitting right and I had yet to figure it out. What worried me was if it had anything to do with me, and I wasn’t talking about the drinking.

  Deck shook his head. “Jesus, this shit is fucking with me.”

  “What shit?” I looked between both men, but they remained quiet. Fear skidded like little skipping pebbles across my skin. I hated this. I hated that Deck could be taken away from me just as quickly and suddenly as my brother. It fucked with my head … the only thing that still did. “What’s wrong?”

  Tyler put his hand out as if to pat Deck’s shoulder and ba
cked off, lowering it again. “We’ll get it done.” What would they get done? He nodded to a camera up in the corner of the stock room. “Oh, and the security feed … nine pm last Monday. We can watch it on the plane later. I’ll bring popcorn.”

  Shit. My dance. Tyler winked at me then grabbed his empty cup and walked back out to the front of the coffee shop where I heard him asking Rylie for a refill.

  “I’m not going to like it, am I?” Deck said.

  “No.” Deck hated my choice in clothes, hair, and the way I flirted. He was really going to hate me doing a sexy dance for the camera knowing Tyler had watched it. “You’re leaving again? You just got back.” I asked, but I already knew he was going to New York.

  “Just a couple days.”

  “You mean you can track down, torture and kill a guy in a couple days? Impressive.” Whenever he came back from something bad, he had a dark, cold look in his eyes, which took a few days to get back to normal. I knew this trip to New York wasn’t like that.

  “No. Just business. I need Tyler with me and the others are still overseas, but they’re meeting us there. So that leaves you alone.”

  My brows rose. “Seriously, Deck. I’m not a kid anymore.”

  “Then act it.”

  Jesus, sometimes I just want to… Before I could react, he reached for me and cupped the back of my neck, drawing me in close. My breath hitched and I knew he heard it because his dark walnut eyes blackened.

  “The drinking, partying … you’re right, you’re not a kid. That shit has to stop and …” He sighed and his hand on my neck tightened. “Georgie, things might be changing. I need you to be ready.”

  Fuck. Did he know? I didn’t think he did. He couldn’t. I was careful. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I shivered as his fingers slid into my hair and for a second, I was thinking he was going to drag me up against him and kiss me. Stupid thinking. I should be thinking of what the hell he meant by things changing.

  He suddenly let me go and stepped back. “It means I need all my men with me, and we can’t be around if you get into trouble. So get your shit together.” He paused and I was still reeling from his words. I hate my life. “And I find out you dated Tristan, things will change more than you may want them to. The fuckin’ guy has a revolving door of women coming from his place. Stay away from him.”

  “Tristan? Who’s that again?” I asked innocently.

  He half-smiled then shook his head and turned, striding toward the door back into the coffee shop.

  “I can date whoever I want, Deck.” I liked Deck’s protective side. Sure, it made my life difficult and sometimes pissed me off, but it made me feel as if he cared about me and I was holding onto that with both hands.

  “Try me,” he shot back.

  I grabbed the closest thing to me, a can of coffee grinds, and threw it at him. It hit the doorframe beside his head and he didn’t even flinch as he walked through the swinging door.

  I heard a loud bang and the bell of the front door rang. A second later, Rylie came running into the stock room. “Shit, what the hell was that? Oh, my God, Deck’s face. Georgie, he was pissed. I’ve never seen him hit anything before. He’s always so … together.”

  I plopped down onto my ass on the floor then lay back, putting my arm over my eyes. “I’m friggin’ exhausted.” I’d had it. I couldn’t do this anymore. I had to get Deck out of my head.

  “Umm, Georgie? You okay?”

  “We still on for tomorrow night?” I asked. It was Wednesday night, and I had to go to Avalanche where I knew there was a good chance someone was there I wanted to meet. Well, wanted was the wrong word. I had to meet.

  “Ah, about that.”

  I sat up. “Jesus. He talked to you?”

  Rylie nodded. “I wouldn’t use the word ‘talk’. After he punched the side of the espresso machine, he told me to lay off the bars with you.”

  “Bullshit. What did he really say?”

  She held out her hand; I took it then she pulled me to my feet. “‘The fuckin’ bars are off-limits for Georgie’.”

  “Him and his off-limits.”

  Rylie put her arm around my shoulders and I knew she was bailing on me for tomorrow night. Deck really did scare her and I guess if you didn’t know him like I did, then she had the right to be scared.

  Rylie was the same height as me, five-foot-five, and she was conservative as much as I wasn’t. Her hair was always perfectly pulled back tight in a ponytail while mine was all over the place, hadn’t seen scissors in years and had been every color of the rainbow. I wore skimpy clothes I found in Kensington market downtown, which never matched and she bought smart sets from the mall.

  But we got along with one another. We’d connected instantly when I hired her a few months ago, I think partly because I used to be a lot like her. With my best friends busy, Emily horse-whispering and Kat painting, both with their men who were in the hit band Tear Asunder, I needed another cohort to party with. Rylie may be straight-laced, but she liked to dance, drink and party, which was exactly what I needed.

  “Deck doesn’t own me. And I’m going out. You can come or not. Either way, I’m drinking Deck out from between my legs.” It was time. I had to get him out of me and stop holding onto something he’d never take—me.

  Rylie winced. “Maybe we should cool it for a few days. We’ve been partying hard for weeks. Besides, I’m low on cash. Unless you intend to give me a raise?” She smiled.

  I laughed. “Babe, I love you, but you just had one. And now, I’m out of here. Patrick will be in any minute for the evening shift.” Her cheeks flushed and I happy-danced my eyebrows. “And you need to fuck that man. Seriously. He likes you and he’s in the cupcake club, so he’s totally allowed to be shagged in the back of the shop after close. That’s if you don’t mind being on camera.”

  Rylie giggled then shoved me away. “I’m not sleeping with him. He’s slept with every hot chick who’s walked in the place.”

  “Well, then he must know what he’s doing.”

  “I’ll sleep with Patrick the day you sleep with Deck.”

  “Oh, I sleep with Deck every single night.”

  Rylie laughed and walked toward the front. “Vibrators named Deck don’t count.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her before she disappeared from view. She laughed.

  Grabbing my purse off the floor near the fire exit, I opened it, took out my cell and dialed his number.

  I FUCKED UP. With this shit going down and now leaving without a man on her … I didn’t like it. Not when I had a job in the works, which could affect her. If there was any leak of who we were after, she could become a target. The last time she became a target, Georgie had nearly gotten herself killed by leaping out of the attic on top a guy who had a fuckin’ gun on her best friend, Emily. The sick fuck, Alfonzo, trained girls then sold them into the sex trade. Georgie had been drugged up and taken to a warehouse where the transporter was going to ship her, Emily and this girl, Raven—real name, London—off to God knows where. Jesus, if that had happened … girls rarely ever came back from that shit. They disappeared.

  That day had been the second worst day of my life.

  I was on edge and rarely did I lose it. Today, I did. I fuckin’ punched Tyler. The rage that tore through me after hearing he fucked her … it blew my mind apart. Control completely obliterated at the thought of Georgie screaming Tyler’s name as he plowed into her. Losing control was not something I let in. I couldn’t. I lost it once and it landed me in Juvie for six months and then on the streets for two years until I hit eighteen and joined the Canadian armed forces.

  I walked outside the coffee shop Georgie called Perk Avenue, and the summer air hit my heated skin, doing fuck-all to cool the anger simmering inside me.

  Tyler was leaning against the brick wall, a blade of grass in his mouth, one leg cocked with his foot resting on the wall. He pushed away and approached me, spitting the grass onto the sidewalk.

  “All good?”

/>   I looked at him and he smirked. Asshole. He knew damn well nothing was ever good with Georgie. And now it was worse. This wasn’t just a young girl partying and drinking anymore. This was Georgie having a drinking problem.

  At least she’d never had a boyfriend—thank fuck. I checked out every guy she had dates with, which was as Tyler said, ‘fuckin’ shit-ass crazy’, but I made a promise to her brother and I never broke my word.

  Some of the men were pansies or in serious debt or had shit jobs and I wanted to stop her from dating them. But I kept my opinion to myself—most of the time. When I didn’t was when guys like Tristan, who had a different woman every day of the week, wanted to date her.

  This was about protecting her against the scum, the assholes and the womanizers. And yes, men like me. Men who had a fuck of a good chance of not coming home.

  Of course there were times like now when I didn’t have a man on her and had no clue what she was up to, and Georgie was often up to no good.

  I couldn’t figure out what the fuck she was doing lately.

  The drinking … fuck, I couldn’t understand it or stop it. It was the one part of Georgie I had no control over. At first, it had been hard partying on the weekends then slowly over the last few months, it became more often until I found the little bottles in her purse.

  What was really fucked up was it didn’t fit who she was. I knew she was better than that. She was too stubborn and determined, too fuckin’ sure of herself to be an alcoholic, yet I dragged her ass out of bars too many times to recall.

  The thing was, Georgie thought she was indestructible. And she was because I was there, or one of my men, to haul her ass out of whatever trouble she landed herself in.

  I opened the door of my Audi and got in. Tyler hopped in the passenger side and I started the car and headed to the airport. I’d been staying away from Georgie for the last few months, getting some distance. I didn’t like who she was becoming and I hated seeing it. I felt like she was slipping away and yet I didn’t know how to stop it.