Perfect Chaos

by Nashoda Rose

  When we walked in, all eyes went to me and I knew they were looking to see if I was still freaking over the news about Connor.

  I wasn’t. I had my shit together and I knew that had to do with Deck. He grounded me. “Sweet, three cupcakes and a fancy coffee maker.” I went over to the machine and started making a cappuccino. I could feel their eyes on me and turned. “I’m good. Stop staring at me. Jesus.”

  That got a snort out of Vic, a laugh out of Tyler and Josh merely looked away. Deck, on the other hand, shut the door harder than necessary, then walked over to me, picked up the cappuccino I’d just made then sat me down beside Tyler, He placed the mug in front of me then went and sat at the other end of the table.

  Tyler snagged my mug and took a sip.

  “Hey.”

  “You think I’m hot, eh?”

  I rolled my eyes. “You are until you open your mouth.” I grabbed for my mug, but he lifted it in the air out of reach.

  “Nice get-up.” He eyed my track pants and sweatshirt. “Easy access, I guess.”

  “Tyler,” Deck warned in a quiet tone. It was instant. Tyler’s laughter died and he was serious again as he passed me my cappuccino. “What have we found out?”

  Josh slid a sheet across the table to Deck. “List of organizations which we know of. Seven we’ve had dealings with which I scratched off. Two are affiliated with hate crimes, also scratched off. The last one is a possibility, but unlikely. According to what I found out, it was established ten years ago and wouldn’t have been around to pull off something so elaborate as kidnapping a JTF2 officer while on a mission in the Middle East.”

  Where Connor had supposedly been killed in a car bomb explosion. Deck had seen it happen. At least he’d thought he had. To pull something off that well-executed, these people had to have men who were just as good as or better than JTF2’s.

  Tyler pushed back his chair and stretched out his legs. “We dig deeper, we raise red flags which—”

  “Puts Georgie at risk,” Deck finished. “Okay, what about the guy, Tanner? Who is he? Where did he come from?”

  I sat up straighter. “Deck, Tanner doesn’t know anything. Kai brought him in to watch out for me when he was away.”

  “Yeah,” Tyler said as he looked at me. “But why him? Why a kid Connor used to know?”

  I shrugged. “Because he knew me. When I found out Tanner was also working for Kai, it made me trust Kai even more because I had familiarity with Tanner.”

  “And how long was Tanner involved with Kai before you were brought in?” Vic asked.

  I didn’t know. Well, not really. When I didn’t answer, Deck said, “Bring him in quietly.”

  I froze. “What does that mean? Are you going to hurt him?”

  “Not if he talks,” Vic said.

  I looked to Deck who wasn’t looking at me. “Deck? Damn it, Deck. Tanner’s my friend. Connor knew him.” I knew by the silence in the room what they planned to do and it was a reality check of what these men did. Of what we were involved in.

  “Friends don’t let you be cut up while they wait outside.” Deck’s words plowed into me and it took me a moment to catch my breath. How did he know Tanner had been there? Who told him? Kai? But why would Kai do that? And from the look on the men’s faces they didn’t know about the purging. I guessed it was something Deck had kept to himself. He chin lifted to Vic and the scrape of his chair sounded on the hardwood floors as he came to his feet, snagged his cell and walked out.

  Deck turned all his attention to me and his eyes softened a bit; not much, but they weren’t as menacing as a few seconds ago. “You have two choices, Georgie. I tell you nothing and you ask nothing. Or you’re on board with what we have to do here. Which is it?”

  Whoa. Okay, I understood what he was saying, but shit, hearing it so harsh and in my face set me back. I suspected that was what he was trying to do. I didn’t say anything for a second, a little shocked at Deck’s abruptness, although I shouldn’t have been; it was Deck, after all. Tyler kicked me under the table and I jolted. He raised his brows and tapped his hand impatiently on the table.

  “Okay.”

  Josh huffed and hung his head as if I’d said something wrong. Tyler kicked me again and I looked at him and mouthed, “What?”

  “Okay, what, Georgie?” Deck asked.

  “Okay, yeah. I’m on board.”

  “Now, that we have that shit cleared up, can we get back to business?” Josh asked and then shoved his tablet across the table to Deck. “I’ve compiled a list of jobs Kai has done that we know of. The graph shows the links to people we know about and who they’re affiliated with.”

  Deck was quiet as he looked it over. I watched his intensity. The way he sat at the end of the table looking as if nothing could touch him. Focused. Concentrated. Fuck, I’d brought all this shit down on him and he still loved me. He still wanted to protect me from it.

  The men talked about the different contacts for a while and then Deck tried calling Kai again. When he received no answer he asked me to call, but Kai wasn’t picking up.

  Deck stood and looked at Josh. “Keep trying the number I have for Kai. Tyler, call Rylie at the coffee shop. Tell her Georgie will be back in tomorrow. We need to keep things as routine as possible. Contact me if you find out anything else.”

  He walked over to me then took my hand and tugged me to my feet. Then he hauled me out of the board room. I thought we were going to the car, but Deck ushered me into another room down the hall, this one with no glass except for a window to which he went and twisted the hanging white rod and closed the blind.

  Then he stalked toward me and it was totally a stalk. Like I was his prey and he was going to devour every inch of me. I was trapped with nowhere to run. Except I didn’t want to run.

  “I can’t be in the same room as you and not want to fuck you.” He reached me and I felt the tingles erupt into a violent storm of lightning strikes.

  I had no time to take a breath as his mouth crushed mine, hands on either side of my head, holding me still as he kissed me. But it was over quick as he pulled back to yank off my track pants and panties, one arm holding me up while he pulled them over my feet.

  My stomach whirled and my knees weakened as his dark, smoldering eyes met mine. Then he undid his jeans and pushed me against the wall—hard. “Legs.” He lifted me up by my butt and I wrapped my legs around his waist. The second I did he slammed inside me.

  “Oh, God,” I yelled, my head falling back and hitting the wall.

  I was already wet and I could hear it as he violently pushed inside me, the wall giving traction to make his thrusts harder. The sound was rhythmic, like a hammer being pounded. Only it wasn’t a nail, it was me and I was guessing if Tyler and Josh were down the hall, they heard exactly what was happening.

  His lips were on me again, sucking my neck and nibbling before moving up my throat until he took my mouth again. It was everything feral and irrational and out of control. I felt the tightness in my belly and moaned. He pushed inside me harder. Faster.

  I screamed against his mouth as I went over the edge. “Oh, God, Deck. Deck!” I quivered around him and within seconds, he joined me. His deep groan roared from his chest and pushed the final wave from my body as I breathed heavily into his shoulder. I had no strength as he held me between him and the wall, his cock still throbbing inside me.

  When he pulled out I felt the warm wetness slide down my thigh. I froze, smacking Deck in the chest. He dropped me to my feet, frowning. “Condom. Deck, we didn’t use a condom.”

  “And?”

  “And? Jesus, Deck, I could get pregnant.”

  He stepped back, looking not the least bit worried that I could get pregnant. He casually did up his jeans and without looking at me said, “I don’t have a problem with that.”

  “You don’t have a problem with that?”

  He raised his brows. “No. Do you?”

  “Ummm … Deck. We’re talking about a baby. And you’re supposed
to be the responsible one. Having a baby would be—”

  “What, Georgie?”

  I put my hands on my hips and tried to look fierce with no pants on and legs still shaking from the spectacular, amazingly hot sex against the wall. “Irresponsible. And plus, you’ve also been with other women. You should get checked before we have unprotected sex.” That sucked, but it was reality. I had no misconceptions that Deck had slept with plenty of women.

  He leaned over, picked up my track pants and then passed them to me. I quickly slipped them back on while he walked over to the desk, leaned against it, and crossed his ankles and arms.

  I bit my lip. Shit, he looked sexy all satisfied and relaxed. I was also thinking despite the soreness between my legs that I’d like to wrap myself around him again.

  “I was checked.”

  “What? When?”

  “When I left you at my loft after you told me about Robbie.” I spent hours sitting in his hallway waiting for him to come back. Band-Aid. He’d had a Band-Aid on his arm and then he fucked me for the first time. “You pay enough, you can have your results within hours. And Georgie, I’d never fuck you without being checked. You should know that.”

  “Oh.” Wow. How could I love him any more than I already did? But I did.

  He was standing in front of me and his hand was curled around the nape of my neck. He was gentle as he moved in and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m not worried if you get pregnant. You’re with me and that isn’t ever changing.” He sighed and I felt his warmth ease my argument. “You don’t want kids, then we won’t.”

  “Really? Just like that?”

  He nodded. “Just like that.”

  “I want to use condoms—for now.”

  He nodded. “I’ll buy condoms.” He took my hand and headed for the door. “I’ll take you home. I’d keep you at my place but we’ll have to play our relationship down a bit. I don’t want this organization having a suspicion that I know about you working for Kai.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, won’t be much of a play down if I’m suddenly fat and waddling around.”

  He stopped dead and pulled me hard up against him. “Jesus. That image … my baby growing inside you … you fat and complaining about your feet.” His kissed me and it was sweet and warm and curled my toes. “I want that with you, Georgie.”

  I stared up at this man I’d loved my entire life. I wanted that too, but not now. Not when everything was all fucked up. “Okay.”

  He grinned and it was as if I gave him the light to his darkness with one word.

  Then we were walking again.

  DECK DROPPED ME off at home and for now, I was to do what I normally did and that meant pretending to drink while in public, go to work and flirt. I laughed when Deck said the word flirt as it came out in a ragged growl. I stopped laughing when he scowled, because he really looked in pain saying it and I liked my sweet Deck. There was one rule that came with the flirting—no touching. Not even a hand touch. Then he leaned over, opened my door and told me he loved me.

  I watched him drive off, wondering if I’d ever get used to idea we were together. I opened the front door, plopped my bag of sweats and t-shirts on the floor and walked into the kitchen.

  I turned on the light and stopped, the air sucking from my lungs. “Tanner. What are you doing here?” He never came here; it was too risky. Well, it had been too risky when Deck didn’t know about me. Did Tanner know that Deck knew? Would Kai have told him? I really didn’t think so.

  He sat at the island, beer in hand, eyes glazed and red. He raised the bottle and tilted it slightly. “Ahhh, she finally comes home. Been waiting a while.”

  There was a white dusting on the counter that looked like icing sugar, but there was not a chance Tanner was here baking a cake. From the look of him, his legs tapping up and down and his eyes red and a little wild, he was high on cocaine. Shit, he hadn’t touched the stuff since he was a kid. “Kai know you’re here?”

  He shook his head and his untidy hair fell haphazardly over his eyes. “Nah … he doesn’t like us being friends. Says I’m too close to you.”

  Yeah, that was something Kai would say, now more than ever. I sat on the stool beside him, touched his shoulder and squeezed. I had no idea what was going on with him, but it was bad. “You shouldn’t be here.” Jesus, Vic was looking for Tanner right now. I’d have to call Deck. I didn’t want to because I knew damn well what they’d do to him. But I also knew if Tanner was in the dark just as much as me, then they wouldn’t hurt him.

  I was never afraid of Tanner. He’d always been good to me, but I also knew something was off with him and it wasn’t just the drugs. He was freaked out over something.

  “That target you were getting info from his hard drive?” Tanner said.

  “Lionel.”

  He nodded while he stared down at his beer. “Dead.”

  “Kai told me.” Actually, it had been Deck.

  “I killed him.”

  A wave of unease hit me and I swallowed then shifted so my feet were on the floor and not resting on the stool’s foot bar. Something didn’t sit right. Tanner’s hands on the beer were unsteady when he took a pull from it then set it down again. “Maybe I should call—”

  He jerked up so fast, his barstool toppled over. “No.”

  I jumped to my feet and took a step back. He looked at me, eyes wide and dancing from side to side, the whites lined with red. “What’s going on with you, Tanner? Why would you kill Lionel?”

  “I finished your job for you.”

  “Tanner, my job was to get his hard drive, not kill him.”

  His breathing was ragged and he tapped his fingers insistently on his thigh. He was high as a kite and whatever he was scared of was making it worse. “They’re going to kill me. I’m next, you know.”

  “Tanner.” I kept my voice soft and calm while giving a half-smile. “No one is going to kill you.” But an oil stain of dread started spreading in my stomach and I knew I had to call Deck ASAP. Tanner must know about the organization. But why would they come after him? Why now? Had they asked him to kill Lionel? “Let’s go sit down and I’ll make you something to eat.” And call Deck.

  I led him into the living room and urged him to sit on the couch. I turned to go in the other room and make the phone call when he grabbed my arm. I looked down at his hand then up at his eyes, fear pounding through me. “Sweets, let me go. I’ll be back in a sec.”

  His eyes hardened. “You’re calling him. Aren’t you?”

  “No, I swear. I won’t call Kai.” His fingers tightened and I gritted my teeth. “Are you trying to break my arm, because you’re well on your way.” I yanked. He pulled—hard—and I fell into him.

  “Deck. You’ve been with him since the hospital.” His hand went into my hair at the back of my neck. I tried to push away, but he curled his hand in the blue-tipped strands and yanked. “I smell him on you. Now, you’re fucking him? After all these years?”

  What the hell was this? “Tanner, let me up.” His grip tightened and I didn’t think he really knew how hard with the drugs pumping through him. “Jesus, ease up.”

  Instead of easing up, however, he pulled me closer and then his mouth slammed onto mine so hard our teeth hit. It was a sloppy, bruising kiss and my stomach churned, tasting the beer on his breath. My shoving him in the chest did nothing, and the hold he still had on my arm was so tight it felt as if he’d melded my skin and muscles to my bone.

  His tongue pushed past my tight lips and he groaned. I bit down as hard as I could and Tanner vaulted back screaming, blood dripping from his mouth. I reacted, using the heel of my hand to jab him hard in the throat.

  His eyes widened as he let me go, holding his throat and gasping for breath. I scrambled off his lap and fell to my knees. I got up and made it two-feet before I felt his weight crash into me and we both went sprawling to the hardwood floor. I kicked out for his kneecap and hit his shin, then I punched for this throat again, but he jerked back, ready for
it. Tanner had been trained, too; he knew what I was going for and he also knew how to get the power position.

  Tanner punched me so hard in the side of the face my vision blurred, and I froze for a second trying to get my bearings. He straddled me, his hands going for my throat and squeezing. My instinct was to react, but I relaxed in his hold, hoping he’d ease up so I could breathe.

  He did and I wildly sucked in gasps of air.

  “I’m the one who’s been there for you—not him. I know your secrets. I know what Robbie did to you.”

  “Tanner. What the fuck are you doing?” I held onto his wrists. “Tanner, damn it. Don’t do this. We’re friends.” Well, not anymore. Kai was getting an earful about this shit.

  He slammed my head into the floor and I hadn’t expected it, not that it would’ve made a difference. The jolt of pain shot down my spine right to my toes. He leaned in close and I gagged as his breath hit my face. “I watched you drool over that piece of shit for years. He’s nothing. He doesn’t even know who you are. I do. Me. He doesn’t deserve you. I do. I’ve watched out for you. I’m the one who made sure Robbie didn’t go too far. I’m the one who protected you. I’m there for you when you purge. Not him.”

  Bile rose in my throat as his words echoed in my head over and over again. He’d made sure Robbie didn’t go too far? He was fuckin’ fourteen. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  I lay limp beneath him, shock stalling my fight as I stared up at him. He killed Lionel. He had known about Robbie hurting me?

  A slow smile emerged and my fear shot to another level. “It wasn’t easy for me either, knowing Robbie was cutting you and just standing on the sidelines—watching. But it had to be done. They needed you broken.”

  “You bastard.” I tried to get away, struggling beneath him as fury ripped through me.

  “Settle down. It wasn’t that bad. You have no idea what bad is, but soon you will.” His eyes were calmer now, breathing slower, almost rhythmic which was a good thing. “They sent Kai in when I told them you were ready.”