Signs of Love

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  He moved to stand next to Caden as the boy carefully flipped each pancake. They were a perfect golden brown. The kid was a natural. This time he gave him two thumbs up. Justin was glad that some signs were universal. He still had a long ways to go before he'd be able to communicate with Caden without having to use the tablet, but he had a stronger motivation than ever now. In the coming years, he wanted to be able to talk with not just Genevieve but Caden as well.

  He'd just closed the fridge with an egg carton in his hand when Alana appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Justin froze in place at the worried look on her face. It eased slightly when she spotted her son, but then her gaze jerked to him, her green eyes going wide.

  "Good morning," Justin said as he carried the eggs to the counter. "Hungry?"

  He watched as she moved a little further into the kitchen. She looked like she'd rolled right out of bed and come in search of Caden. Some of her hair had come loose from her braid and framed her faces in curls. Her cheeks were flushed and one sported a couple of creases. The outfit she wore was similar to what she'd been wearing the day they'd found her and Caden after the fire.

  His stomach knotted at the memory of that day, but then it eased as he reminded himself that they were safe. The reality was that the fire had brought about a shift in things between them, and though Justin felt bad about the damage and loss of life it had caused, he didn't regret that it had facilitated the closeness now growing between him and Alana.

  Alana walked to the other side of the counter and watched as Caden began to pour more pancake batter after having moved the cooked pancakes onto the platter next to the griddle. "I didn't realize you were staying the night."

  "It wasn't the plan—hence the shirt—but when Dan offered, I was just tired enough to take him up on it."

  Her gaze went to the front of his tank top and a smile curved the corners of her mouth. But instead of commenting on it, she just said, "I see Caden has been helping you out."

  Justin nodded. "And doing a terrific job."

  Alana signed to her son, and he set the spatula down before signing back to her. The proud look on Caden's face was mirrored on his mother's. As he watched them together, Justin was struck again by how much these two were a team. Caden's devotion to his mother was clear, and he already knew that Alana always put Caden's well-being before her own. Was there a place for him in their relationship?

  In some ways, his relationship with Caden was stronger than the one he had with Alana, but if he wanted any chance of a future with the three of them together, he needed to change that. If their date the previous night was any indication, they were well on their way. Feeling her hand settle over his had been a surprise. He'd been dozing, his body finding the comfort of those reclining seats just a bit too enticing, but at her touch he hadn't been able to resist turning his hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. He couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed holding hands with someone as much as he had with Alana. He hoped the opportunity arose again soon.

  Normally, he was focused on his job at BlackThorpe. If he wasn't in the midst of training with a team, he was planning for the next team that would be arriving. In the midst of it all, he worked with the wounded veterans and BlackThorpe employees like Trent and Than, who liked to spar with him. But right then, standing in Beth's kitchen with a little boy on a stool flipping pancakes while he prepped eggs to scramble, his job at BlackThorpe was the furthest thing from his mind.

  "Well, I'm going to invite you to stay overnight more often if this is what I wake up to."

  Justin glanced over to see Dan walk in with Genevieve in his arms. Like Alana, the little girl's curls were a tousled mess and her cheeks were still flushed from sleep. She smiled when she saw him and his love for her washed over him. She had been the first person aside from Beth who had breached the walls he'd kept around his heart. Once she'd gotten through, it was that much easier for Caden and Alana to follow.

  "Where's Beth?" Justin asked as he worked the eggs in the pan.

  "I'm letting her sleep in a bit." Dan sniffed the air appreciatively. "The smell of bacon got to me just before Genevieve woke up."

  "It should all be ready shortly."

  Over the next few minutes, Alana and Dan set the table while Justin and Caden finished up the food.

  “If I were on a diet, heads would be rolling."

  Justin glanced over at the sound of his sister's voice. Still dressed in her pajamas, she sauntered to his side and peered into the pan.

  “I thought Dan was letting you sleep in."

  She put her hands on her hips and glared at him for all of two seconds. "Do you honestly think I could sleep with that smell tantalizing me?"

  "Well, let's eat up," Dan said as he buckled Genevieve into her seat.

  Easy conversation flowed around the table as they consumed the breakfast he and Caden had made. The boy glowed with pleasure each time someone told him—through Alana—how wonderful the pancakes were. As he thought of all Alana and Caden had gone through, Justin came to understand what a truly amazing job Alana had done of raising her son. He could still see the remnants of the abusive relationship she'd been in through her tentative approach with him and her initial reluctance to depend on anyone but herself.

  Slowly, though, he was seeing that change, and he hoped she would continue to become more confident in herself. And he really hoped he was around to see it.

  ~*~*~

  Once Alana had gotten over her shock of not only finding Justin still there the morning after their date, but also that he was letting Caden help him with breakfast, she enjoyed the breakfast they’d prepared. It felt...normal for the six of them to be there.

  Beth had already made it clear she thought Alana and Justin would be good together and for the first time, Alana was feeling confident about that as well.

  After the breakfast was done, Beth and Daniel had insisted they would clean up since Justin and Caden had made the meal. Alana had tried to help as well, but Beth had shooed her out of the kitchen and told her to go downstairs with Justin and Caden.

  She found the two of them setting up another video game. Leaving them to play, Alana went to change. When she got a look at herself in the mirror, she frowned. Her hair was an out-of-control curly mess around her face and she was still in her pajamas. How she looked had been the last thing on her mind when she'd woken to find Caden gone from the bed and not in the basement.

  Working quickly, she rebraided her hair and smoothed back the flyaway ends before putting on just a bit of eyeshadow and mascara since she'd always been told her eyes were her best feature. Back in the bedroom she chose a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve lightweight shirt.

  She picked up her laptop and went out to where Justin and Caden were playing their video game. Settling on the couch, she opened the laptop so she could finish her blog post for the day.

  Alana had just hit the save button when she saw Justin glance at his watch then over at her as he set his controller down. "I'm going to have to leave soon. I agreed to meet a couple people to work out this afternoon."

  Caden looked at her, and when Alana quickly signed that Justin had to go, he didn't bother to hide his disappointment.

  "We'll do it again," Justin said as he got to his feet. He held out his hand, knuckles up and though his little shoulders were slumped, Caden bumped fists with him.

  Alana's heart ached just a little to see her son disappointed, but he would have to get used to Justin leaving and most likely being away for several days at a time. Alana knew he was devoted to his job so she figured it might be the next weekend before they saw him again. She was as disappointed as Caden, but she was old enough to understand their situation in a way that her seven-year-old son couldn't.

  "I'm just going to go get changed," Justin said as he headed for the stairs.

  Alana slid her laptop off her lap when Caden sat down on the couch next to her, cuddling close. She pulled him onto her lap so that he straddled her knees. Face to face, s
he was able to sign to him, trying to explain why Justin was leaving.

  Why can't he stay here like we do?

  Oh, to believe that all life's problems could be solved so easily. In the mind of a seven-year-old, apparently they could.

  Justin doesn't live here. He has his own apartment and pretty soon we will too.

  Can't we just live with him at his apartment?

  Alana shook her head. No. We need to have our own apartment.

  We're not going to stay here?

  Alana was sure they'd discussed the fact that they needed to find their own place. He looked at her, his green eyes worried and a bit sad. She didn't want that for him, but he was asking for things she just couldn't give him. There was no way she could guarantee that one day he'd have Justin in his life the way he wanted. And as nice as it was to live in Beth and Daniel's basement, she couldn't do it indefinitely.

  We're going to look at apartments next week.

  He scowled, and Alana let out a sigh. It wasn't very often he copped an attitude so she supposed he was due, but it was still difficult to know that the decisions she was making for them upset him. And it was even harder when she knew that his heart was now firmly engaged with not only Justin but Beth, Daniel and Genevieve as well. She never spoke of the family they had but who had rejected them—his grandparents and aunt and uncle—but Caden still knew what he wanted and that was a family, if not by blood, by choice.

  She lifted her hand with the I love you sign and waited for him to respond. His lower lip poked out a bit and his shoulders slumped, but he lifted his hand and pressed his fingers to hers. Then he sank against her, resting his head on her shoulder and pressing his face against her neck.

  Alana wrapped her arms around him, closed her eyes and began to hum knowing he could feel the vibration against his face. They didn't sit this way as often as they used to. When he was a baby, she would hold him with his cheek pressed into the side of her neck so she could hum and sing and he would feel it. Now he only sought her out for that when he was feeling upset or sad.

  "Everything okay?" Justin's voice jerked her back, and her eyes popped open. He stood a few feet away, now dressed in the same clothes he'd worn the night before. His hands were on his hips as he stared down at them, his brows drawn together. "Is he okay?"

  Alana gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. There was no way she was going to repeat the conversation she'd just had with Caden. "He's a little sad his video game time is over."

  Justin cocked his head. "He can still play video games even without Dan or I here. I'm leaving my system for him to use."

  "I'll be sure and tell him that. I might even take a turn or two with him."

  Justin's gaze was still on Caden. "Are you sure he's okay?"

  Alana nudged her son and pulled her head back to look down at him. His eyes opened, and he straightened. She quickly signed to let him know Justin was leaving. Alana half expected him to jump off her lap and go hug the man, but instead, Caden just waved to him and settled back down against her. She could tell by the look on Justin's face, he was confused by Caden's reaction.

  “I'm afraid he's not too happy you're leaving," Alana told him, deciding to clarify things for Justin. She gave him a rueful smile. "He misses you when you're gone."

  Justin dropped to his haunches by her legs and laid a hand on Caden's back. When Caden turned to look at him, Justin held out his arms. Without hesitation, her son wrapped his arms around Justin's neck and allowed the man to stand with him. After a minute, Justin lowered him back to Alana's lap and then ran his hand across Caden's hair.

  He cleared his throat and looked back at her. "My week is pretty busy with the team that's at the compound for training, but I'll try to call you to set something up."

  Alana nodded, though she hoped maybe he'd also call just...because. She knew his job was important to him, just like Daniel's was to him, and yet Daniel always made time for his girls, as he called them. If Justin felt she and Caden were important enough, he'd make the time for them too. But she understood it might take time for him to come to that realization. And then he'd have to decide what to do about it.

  After saying goodbye, Justin headed up the stairs. Alana watched his long legs take him from view. Things had seemed to be going so well, but she was feeling the weight of her son's expectations of his own relationship with Justin. She could understand and accept things that Caden couldn't. Unfortunately, he was going to have to learn how to accept that this relationship was going to move at a slower pace than he wanted.

  Over the next several days, Alana worked hard at several freelance writing jobs she'd picked up. Thankfully, there was a small park near Beth's house and she would take her laptop and work while Caden played. The sunshine was good for him, and he never seemed to tire of swinging and sliding. Sometimes there were other children there, but often it was just the two of them. Sometimes she brought Genevieve with them or Beth would come along, but usually it was just her and Caden.

  By Wednesday, she was anxious to turn in the biggest of the freelance jobs she'd done. If they paid promptly, she'd have more than enough money for another apartment. She'd made a list of places to look at, and she had phoned and made appointments to go on Saturday to see three that looked promising.

  There had been no call from Justin though Alana knew he'd spoken with Beth when she'd mentioned he wouldn't be coming for dinner Monday night. She'd done her best to keep Caden occupied with countless races on his favorite video game. They'd finished the Narnia book they'd been on and started the next one. And they'd spent hours at the park each day.

  Caden had asked about Justin the first couple of days, but then he seemed to realize that the answer was going to be the same each time. Justin had told her that the week would be busy, but Alana had thought he'd at least text. After all, he'd been able to do that the previous week when he'd been busy. And he had found the time to phone Beth. Maybe it was just going to be too much for him. Juggling a busy career with a relationship that included two people not just one. Sometimes even when something seemed doable or even desired, in the end it just didn't work.

  Or maybe she was just expecting too much too soon? What did she know about how relationships were supposed to work? She hadn't had anything like this before. But if Justin was, in fact, realizing this relationship wouldn't fit into his life, it was better that he realize it now before things got serious.

  Although, who was she kidding? In her and Caden's minds, things were already serious.

  Thursday when she checked her freelance account, Alana was excited to see that the payment had been made through a payment site. She quickly logged in and had the money sent to her bank account. Finally, she felt like she was going to be able to get her life back. She was so thankful for what Beth and Daniel had done for her, but they needed their life back too. The one without a needy pair living in their basement and eating their food. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to repay them, but she hoped someday she could.

  In the meantime, finding a place of their own would be the first step in getting things back to the way they'd been before.

  When Saturday morning rolled around, she made sure she and Caden were up early and ready to go. Beth looked at them in surprise when they came upstairs.

  "Heading out?"

  "Yes. I've got some errands to run so we'll be gone most the day."

  Beth stared at her. "You weren't planning to go to Trent and Victoria's wedding?"

  "That's today?" Alana hesitated. "Uh, I wasn't invited."

  Beth frowned. "You weren't?"

  Alana wasn't about to tell her that Victoria had told her to come as Justin's plus one. She would have only done that at Justin's request...and she hadn't received that. And she wasn't confident enough in either her relationship with Justin or her friendship with Victoria to just show up. "I really don't know them that well."

  "I still think they'd be happy to see you there. Victoria said it was a casual wedding."

&
nbsp; "I've already kind of made some plans for today." Alana smiled, hoping Beth would see she was okay with it. "You can tell me all about it later. Take some pictures! And give my congratulations to the happy couple."

  Beth still looked a bit unsettled as she said goodbye. Alana breathed a sigh of relief once they left the house. It took a little while, but her excitement for the day returned when they got off the bus not far from the first apartment, and it seemed to be catching as Caden skipped along beside her as they walked hand in hand along the sidewalk.

  ~*~*~

  Justin couldn't believe he'd forgotten about Trent and Victoria's wedding. It had been one of those weeks where he questioned why he didn't delegate more. But right then he needed to get himself changed into something more than jeans and a T-shirt. Since the invitation said casual, he hoped the black pants and button down light blue shirt would be good enough. There was no way he was pulling out his one and only suit. He'd worn it to Eric's wedding and then shoved it back into the closet where, as far as he was concerned, it could stay.

  He was anxious to see Alana and Caden. Trent said Victoria had invited her, so they'd be there along with Beth and Daniel.

  Doubts pricked at him as he threaded his belt through the loops on his pants. Would Alana be upset that he hadn't contacted her through the week? He'd dropped the ball on that. No doubt about it. And what excuse could he give that didn't sound like a cop-out? Truth be told, he'd been a little...scared after he'd said goodbye to Caden and Alana last Saturday. Seeing Caden upset because he was leaving really brought home the seriousness of the situation. This wasn't a game. Wasn't a casual fling. No matter what his and Alana's thoughts might be about the direction of their relationship, Caden had a long-term plan for Justin in his life.