How to Fall for the Wrong Man

by Harmony Williams

  And Lady Yarmouth thought I looked thin.

  “Miss Mary,” she said in a soft and docile voice. “Would you care for some tea?”

  “No, thank you. Where is everyone?”

  She cocked her head and set down the knife she used after she crushed one more clove of garlic on the table. A sharp scent stung the air. She wiped her hands on her apron. “It’s Saturday. Half the household has a rest day. The rest of us have one tomorrow.”

  If I’d stopped to give it half a second of thought, I might have considered that. Even Albert, Brutus, and Jane had rest days once a week.

  “I suppose it’s Isaac’s rest day today, too?” Hence why he hadn’t been waiting by the door.

  The woman shrugged. “In the strictest sense, I suppose it should be. But last I checked, he was helping my lord prepare for your arrival.”

  Edwin had to prepare? I stiffened. “Where is he?”

  “Where is he ever? He’s shut himself in the study, I believe.”

  After thanking her and rooting through the larder in search of baked goods, I chewed a mouthful of cookie as I mounted the stairs. I polished it off and dusted off my hands as I faced the closed door of Edwin’s study. As I raised my hand to knock, movement caught the corner of my eye.

  Isaac leaned against a door diagonally across the hall with his arms crossed. “You may not want to go in there,” he said, drawing out his words in a lazy, haphazard manner.

  I frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “He’s replaced you.”

  Of all the three-word combinations, I hadn’t expected that one to sting so much. I’d known he’d replaced me when he’d gone to Oxford, why would this sham of an engagement be any different? Pressing my lips together, I tried to muster anger to burn away this aching in my chest. If he’d replaced me, all the better. My end of the contract would be fulfilled and we wouldn’t have to contend with the marriage-that-would-never-happen.

  I threw open the door. It smashed against the wall as I stormed inside. Plants in various pots rested on every available surface, from shelves built into the walls to tables, and even some on the floor. One table had tools lined up, gleaming in the overly humid room as sunlight streamed through the glass. Edwin stood in front of these, alone. And he was clad in nothing but his smalls.

  “Isaac, you had better be bringing me a fresh pair of trousers—”

  As he turned around, his voice cut short. The door to the hall slammed shut, and it was followed by the clink of something that sounded uncannily like the lock. I whirled, reaching out to test the latch.

  Yes. Definitely locked.

  I rested my head against the mahogany door. Beads of moisture formed over it, the room was so humid. It didn’t help that Edwin had a small fire going and a pot over it venting steam into the air. A sting pricked the back of my eyes. Although I didn’t spot any chrysanthemums, something else in this room would have me sneezing before too long. I had to get out.

  I groaned. I should have known better than to trust a warning from Isaac, given the resentment between us from youth. “You tricked me!”

  “That makes two of us,” Edwin mumbled.

  As I turned around, he lunged for a potted fern and held it in front of his body. The leafy green plant barely covered his smallclothes. Bare swatches of his abdomen and chest showed through the gaps in the leaves. His strong, muscular thighs and legs strained against the flimsy cloth covering his manhood.

  “Why are you in your study undressed?”

  He shifted from foot to foot. The motion only drew my attention to his bare feet. I didn’t often have the occasion to ogle a man’s feet, but his were exquisitely shaped. And rather large, too, like the big hands clutching the pot.

  “It’s hot in here. I didn’t have anyone in here with me, so when Isaac suggested it, I doffed a few of my outer clothes and my shirt. And then, through no fault of my own, I spilled something on my trousers and he repaired with them to clean them. He promised to be back straight away.” He guiltily darted his gaze to my face again, then looked away. “I should have known better.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Yes, you should have. In fact, I say you should sack him for such insubordination.”

  “I can’t do that. I grew with him. You know he’s like a brother to me.”

  Closer than Edwin’s own brother, who from a young age had taken on the mantle of responsibility and embraced the frosty politeness and distance that kept every lofty lord warm at night. That, and the glow of their own importance.

  “So you’ll leave him to go unpunished?”

  “I didn’t say that. I might not sack him, but he still works for me. I can reduce him to any position I choose. I’m thinking the hostlers might need a helping hand for a few weeks. Not only will he not have any comely young women to flirt with, but he’ll have to handle dung all day.”

  For a moment, I met Edwin’s gaze with a smirk. Color stained his cheeks. I turned my back on his nakedness. Better I didn’t have the temptation. “Do you have chrysanthemums in here?”

  “No. Why?”

  My breath hitched, preventing me from answering. I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the rise in pressure.

  Edwin let out a gusty sigh. “They make you sneeze.”

  “Something is affecting me, yes.” My voice emerged thin. I sucked in a breath through my nose. Still clear. For now.

  I balled my fist. “What does he expect us to do in here?”

  “What, indeed,” Edwin muttered, but his voice was weak and strained.

  I pulled on the fabric of my dress. It was starting to stick to my body with sweat. The urge to sneeze subsided. Blinking the sting from my eyes, I peeked behind me.

  Edwin sent me a chagrined look. “Do you want to learn about plants?”

  “No, I do not want to learn about plants.” I stomped toward him, grabbing the lip of the pot he held. “Give that here. You look ridiculous, and it covers nothing.”

  He held onto it for mere seconds before I wrenched it away. I set it down on his work station, then turned my back on the plant. I rubbed at my eyes.

  He started to cross his arms over his chest, then opted to spread his hands to cover his manhood, instead.

  I grimaced and lifted my braid off the back of my neck. It was sticky and hot. “Why do you keep it so blasted hot in here?”

  “For the plants.”

  Of course. “You need to invest in a greenhouse.”

  “I’m trying. Do you know how bloody expensive that would be to finance on my own? With the tax on glass, it would cripple my finances, and then I’d have no money left for when you thrust helpless animals into my household.”

  I turned away from him to look out the window. Not that I could see anything; it was fogged up from the excessive steam in the room. The thin light drifting through the foggy glass beckoned a sneeze. I wiggled my nose, fighting it.

  Edwin approached me from behind. He tentatively laid his hand over my shoulder. “How did he manage to get you in here?”

  A knot formed in my throat. I couldn’t fathom telling the entire truth, so I settled for half of it. “I came looking for you. I sent word ahead by letter to expect me.” I glanced up at him over my shoulder. His gaze was hooded as he peered down at me.

  “You sent word? You never announce your visits.”

  “I rarely come to visit you,” I countered. “Though, I think this will be the last time I send word ahead. I suspect that letter marked the moment Isaac started undressing you.”

  “Yes, well…” When he shifted on the balls of his feet, the heat of his body raised the awareness on that side of my body. It was impossible to ignore him. He cleared his throat and averted his gaze, trailing his focus over my shoulder and chest instead of my eyes. “Why did you seek me out?”

  “This madness your mother is saying about us marrying next week—” Spots punctuated my vision at the thought. I couldn’t breathe.

  “I know. I received your letters on the subject an
d spoke with her. She was mistaken, as it’s the engagement party that is scheduled for next week, not the wedding.” He paused, then added with a note of chagrin, “That will be in five weeks.”

  I shouldn’t be surprised that Old Lady Gladstone had called for the banns to be read immediately. Frankly, I was surprised she hadn’t arranged for a special license. Don’t think on it. In five weeks, Edwin and I would have parted ways again. There would be no wedding.

  I turned to fully face him. At that moment, I realized that he’d relaxed enough to drop his hands from covering himself. His smalls molded intimately to the bulge of his manhood. It stirred. My breath caught.

  When I raised my gaze, Edwin’s cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. “Ignore…that,” he murmured. “I can’t always control it. Especially when you’re around.”

  Was he admitting he found me attractive? I licked my lips. To my knowledge, no man had ever reacted that way to me—our mad tussle in bed four days ago notwithstanding. This time, we weren’t in bed in the dim light of morning. Next to Rose’s classical beauty or Francine’s quiet air of intelligence and sensuality, I couldn’t hold a candle. I’d thought I didn’t care whether or not men found me attractive.

  I was wrong.

  I advanced on Edwin. As I did, he backed away.

  “Mary?”

  His rump hit the ledge of the table. I trapped him with an arm on either side of him. The movement brought me flush against him. Close enough to feel the swell of his manhood against my belly. I craned my neck back, hoping he would see what I was offering. Another moment of temporary insanity. But he’d have to meet me halfway. I couldn’t very well climb up to kiss him.

  The scratchy hairs of my braid tickled the side of my face again. I threw it over my shoulder in disgust.

  A small smile tugged at his lips as the braid whapped all the way around my head to hit him in the arm. He tugged the ribbon from the end, then ran his fingers through the woven strands, spreading them around my shoulders. He buried his fingers in my hair and bent to plant a kiss on my lips.

  His lips barely brushed mine, a firework of sensation in concert with the other places our bodies touched, when the door opened.

  “Let the poor man out. He’ll be furious—Oh.”

  Nancy’s voice.

  “I didn’t realize you were in here with him, Mary. Forgive the intrusion, I’ll leave you to your privacy.” Sounding gleeful, Nancy started to shut the door.

  “No.” I launched in her direction, catching the door before it completely shut and wrenching it open again. “This wasn’t what it looked like.”

  She lifted her eyebrows, a smile tugging at her mouth. “Of course not, dear. You two carry on.”

  A blush mantled Edwin’s cheeks. He grabbed for my shoulders and tried to hide himself behind me. When I glanced up, I found him looking straight ahead, over Nancy’s head, with his jaw tightly clenched.

  In as polite a tone as I’d ever heard, he said, “Nancy, please ask your son to fetch me my trousers.”

  She nodded and left, leaving the door to the hall ajar. Good heavens, the servants craned their necks to peek in. I tried to move, but Edwin clutched me tighter to him. Instead, I wriggled until I faced him. When I did, I realized why he was so mortified. He was still half-erect.

  “Don’t go,” he begged, his voice little more than a whisper.

  I raised an eyebrow. “If I don’t, they’re going to lock us in again.”

  He grimaced.

  I marched with him until he was in the shadow of the doorway, mostly unseen from the corridor. “Stay here,” I told him. “I’ll send in Isaac. Then I say you lock him in here.”

  A smile flashed across Edwin’s face. It caught my breath. He brushed a few errant strands of my hair away from my face, caressing my cheeks with great care.

  “Thank you,” he murmured. He lowered his head, and heaven help me, I tilted up mine to meet him.

  But he only kissed me on the forehead. My stomach dropped. I shouldn’t have expected anything different. I shouldn’t want anything different. But I did.

  I backed out of the room quickly. When my gaze lit on Isaac, I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t know how you managed that, but fetch the poor man a pair of trousers.”

  He grinned as he moved to comply.

  In a small voice, I announced, “I’m going home now.” Although I had nothing but Puck left there to occupy me, I couldn’t stay here. My mouth still tingled from Edwin’s kiss. Whenever I was with him, all scraps of sanity and sense fled. So there was only one solution. From now until the annulment of our engagement, I had to avoid him. Otherwise, I might find myself tied to him for life.

  “Mary, wait.” Edwin cursed and stepped into the corridor, heedless of the servants who scurried away from his glare, pretending not to loiter. He laid his hand on my arm to stop me. His cheeks still a bit flushed, he met my gaze. I avoided looking any lower. “You don’t have to go.”

  “I accomplished what I set out to do. Unless you want to search for stray animals in need of a home…”

  He dropped his arm with a frown. “Where will you keep them? You haven’t got a shelter yet.”

  He had a point about that. Nevertheless, I couldn’t let him have the final word. I smiled up at him sweetly. “I’ll keep them here in the time being.”

  With an incredulous laugh, he shook his head. “In that case, I’d be in danger of living in a menagerie if I don’t come with you to regulate the number. Give me a moment to dress and I’ll be down shortly.”

  I stared at my shoes. “You don’t need to waste time away from your plants. I was only teasing.”

  He lifted my chin, his touch warm. “If it’s important to you, then it isn’t wasted time. I’ll join you.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded and turned to wait somewhere where I wouldn’t be confronted by the reminder of his nakedness.

  Chapter Ten

  My house on Blandford Street was closer, but I couldn’t go back there like this. At this late hour, Papa might be home and awake. If he saw me like this, he would raise Hell. I winced as I poked at what must be a growing bruise on my cheek. You should have waited.

  Waited for what, precisely? Asking myself the question brought neither answers nor solace. I couldn’t have waited until morning or the letter I’d received from a friend, a working class woman who lived in a predominantly Irish neighborhood, might have predicted a murder. When I hared off to her aid, I’d thought her in danger from an unruly neighbor, not a stray dog—let alone a stray dog determined to bite the hand that fed it. The scratches on my arms felt as though they’d stopped their sluggish bleeding and scabbed over. As to my head…that hadn’t been the dog’s doing at all. Although I usually had a way with canines, when this one had lunged at me, I’d jumped back and slipped in a slick of spilled lamp oil. The rough brick wall had done more damage than the animal, which had run off.

  I felt a fool. For all my troubles, I hadn’t even gentled the dog enough to bring it home. Edwin would think me a simpleton. Despite that prediction, I hobbled up the steps to the blue door and knocked.

  No answer. Maybe I should go home, after all.

  But we still had eight days in our engagement—or was it seven, given the late hour? Regardless, he had to endure my presence, even in the middle of the night. I pounded on the door louder.

  Damn it, I was smarter than this. I knew the dangers of facing off against an unfamiliar animal in the dark. In fact, I was lucky the cost had only been a few scratches and a gash across my forehead. If I hadn’t been so tightly wound from believing the worst fate of my friend, I might have been thinking more clearly. Clear enough to reassure her and chase off the dog rather than trying to tame it. I couldn’t save every creature.

  The devil take all men who didn’t answer their doors at midnight! As tears stung my eyes, I slumped onto the step, bracing my back against the door. Contemplating the empty house awaiting me at home—or worse, giving my papa a near apoplexy—t
hreatened to turn my stomach inside out. I wanted Edwin to hold me up a moment, as he had when I’d been a child and lost my Mama. One moment in his arms before I gathered my strength and returned to the fight. I was stronger than this.

  But I was sore and so weary…

  When the door opened, I nearly fell into the house. I stood with difficulty and turned to face Isaac, who was dressed in nothing but his night shirt. I hadn’t known I’d been lacking in viewing his spindly chicken legs until he displayed them to me. The white, loose gown only came to his knees.

  His face was contorted to deliver a reprimand, but the moment he saw me, it changed to a look of concern. “Mary?”

  I pushed past him inside. Heaven help me, but when he took my arm, I leaned on him for support. “I need to speak with Edwin.”

  “You need to see a physician.”

  He shut the door with his free hand. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dim oil lamp by the door.

  “I’m fine,” I told him. I blinked rapidly, trying to bring the interior of the room into focus. It didn’t look right. “It’s only a scratch.”

  “And a rather impressive bruise.”

  He didn’t touch my cheek, but I felt his gaze as he examined it. Had it swollen? The knot on my forehead felt as big as a pumpkin.

  “I’ll send for someone to have a look,” he said without question. He helped me toward the staircase, where I sat.

  “No, don’t,” I begged him. I caught his sleeve when he tried to retract his arm. “A physician will only prescribe me a sleeping draught. I want to see Edwin.”

  He frowned. “Very well, I’ll fetch him. But will you promise me you’ll sit here while I do?”

  “No.” I struggled to my feet. “I’ll go with you if you think he’s still awake.”

  “Reading in bed, last I left him.”

  I moved slowly up the stairs, leaning on the rails. Isaac clutched onto one of my elbows, helping me up. I flashed him a wan smile. “You know what would help? A fortification of spirits.”

  “Not on your life,” he said with an answering grin. It was weak, only making it halfway across his face before dimming again. “I remember what happened the last time I gave you spirits.”