A Captive of Fear and Desire

by Sophie Kisker

  There was no part of that statement that didn’t terrify her. She flew into a panic, screaming through the gag, pulling her head side to side to dislodge the straps, and struggling against the restraints.

  “Laura!” She heard his voice but was unable to calm herself. Suddenly, a shocking pain exploded between her legs. She stopped struggling long enough to let out a long wail.

  “Laura! Calm down!” The pain finally faded enough that she could open her eyes again. Dan stood in front of her holding the flogger that he’d just used to hit her wide-open cunt. She cried great open-mouthed sobs and heaved for breath.

  “Nothing is going to change what you have to do, so let’s just get it over with.” An expressionless mask had fallen over his features, just as visible as any physical mask. As she struggled to calm her breathing, he placed a dildo on a stand in front of her. Without comment, he pushed a button on the remote. The machine behind her pushed the pad, and her head, forward, until a flick of his thumb stopped her movement. He adjusted the height of the dildo and then pushed it towards her until it came to rest touching her bottom lip. At the touch, she tried to turn to the side to avoid it but found she had no free movement at all. He continued pushing it into her mouth as she whimpered with each breath, knowing what was about to happen and powerless to prevent it. And sure enough, the moment it came to rest on the back of her tongue her stomach involuntarily clenched and she let out a retching noise. He pulled the hateful thing out a fraction of an inch but it was enough to avoid triggering her gag reflex again.

  “Let’s try this. Slowly.”

  Her eyes opened and flickered to the remote in his hand. She felt her head being drawn back. She felt the cock slide over her lips but before it came out all the way, the piston pushed her head forward again. She whimpered as the dildo slid deep into her mouth. Her stomach was ready to rebel at any moment. Just when the gagging started to rise, she was pulled backwards and stopped.

  “All right. I’m going to start slow. I’ll speed it up as time passes and you seem to tolerate it.” He knelt down in front of her. “We only have three days,” he said softly as he stroked her hair restrained by the straps. “I’m sorry.”

  She refused to look at him. He stood up with a sigh. A moment later she felt the machine start up again. Back, then forwards, stopping just when her stomach threatened to heave up, then back and forwards. Over and over and over. The tears continued to spill down her face, the drool ran down her chin to drip onto the edge of the bench and spill over onto the floor, and the tendons of her widely stretched thighs ached. She couldn’t remember being so miserable in her entire life.

  Chapter 21

  In…

  Out…

  In…

  Out…

  In…

  Out…

  Her whole existence became the dildo that entered and receded, as though she were still and it was moving. She settled into a trance that was broken every now and then when her body decided to remind her that it didn’t like what was happening, and she would gag for a moment. The motion was relentless, never stopping to give her a break, so it would always be a few more strokes after that happened before she could relax again.

  She was in the trance when Dan came back in. He picked up the remote and walked to her.

  “You’re doing good. It’s been almost twenty minutes since you choked.” He paused the machine while the dildo was out of her mouth and Laura was grateful to stop moving for just a moment. He held up a bottle of water.

  “I’m going to take the gag out for a moment so you can take a drink. But, if you say one word, or protest when it’s time for the gag to go in again, there will be no more breaks. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, desperate for some relief, even if it was just for a moment.

  He moved behind her and she felt the straps release. He fiddled at the side of her mouth, and suddenly the pressure in her jaw released painfully. She winced. He pulled the ring out.

  Laura closed her mouth and moved her jaw side to side. Oddly, her jaw kept drifting open and she had to concentrate to keep her mouth closed.

  “I’ll tip this very carefully into your mouth.” He poured a small amount in and she swallowed the water, absurdly grateful for the cool wetness that soothed her dry mouth and throat. Before she realized it, she’d taken half the bottle.

  “Enough?” he asked brusquely.

  She nodded, not wanting to end her break, but not wanting to give her stomach any more ammunition to get sick with.

  He approached with the ring. She whimpered but opened her mouth, and a moment later she was strapped in again. Her jaw seemed to protest all the more because of the break and she was acutely aware of the ache of the muscles and tendons pulled tight.

  “Time to get faster.”

  No! Her eyes sought his and she tried to shake her head frantically in protest. He ignored her as he pressed the button. The leisurely three seconds in and out suddenly became a much shorter, almost bobbing, movement, about one second each. A lot more like the pace that men expected, she knew.

  ~ ~ ~

  It went on and on. Dan came in periodically to give her a break and some water. Inevitably the break meant that he would increase the depth or speed afterwards, so it was with mixed feelings that she mentally greeted his returns. She had no idea what time it grew to be. She was weary of the constant movement. Her throat hurt and her jaw ached. Her stomach was empty, and it alternated between growling and threatening to revolt. And she was bored.

  She was able to take it much deeper than she’d ever done before, deep enough now that it cut off her breathing for the moment it was in her mouth, but timing her breaths wasn’t hard. The next time Dan came in she looked up as usual, and he shook his head once more. She closed her eyes. That’s how she missed his next action. She went down on the dildo—and stayed down. Her eyes flew open and she looked up at him wildly. She tried to make noises to tell him something was wrong but the dildo was too deep in her throat for air to move past. She tried to pull backwards, her movements frantic, but the piston had her pinioned. Dan remained silent while she grew more desperate, and then with a flick of his thumb she was pulled up and off, gasping for breath as her airway was freed. He stopped the machine when she was all the way back, watched her pant, and listened without comment to her garbled declarations of anger.

  “A new twist to the lesson. You’ll go down and stay down until I decide to let you come up. The more you fight it, the more you do it. If you can accept that I have the right to decide when you breathe and when you don’t, and stay relaxed, this will be over sooner.”

  What the fuck? He has the right to decide when I breathe? The hell he does! She shot him a look of pure hatred. It didn’t matter. A flick of a thumb, and down she went, only stopping when the dildo was in as deep as she’d taken it a moment ago. She panicked and began thrashing around, desperate for air. He watched her and never moved while she strained and pulled in vain. His thumb twitched and she was pulled back up, gasping for air again and glaring at him.

  He waited dispassionately until her breathing had slowed. A flick of his thumb shoved her forward and this time she managed to gulp in air before she was impaled. But that air only lasted a moment before her adrenaline gobbled all of it up and once more, she was desperate and panicking.

  At last, he pulled her back.

  “Good,” he said quietly. “You took a breath before going down. That’s a first step.”

  She screamed out her anger in unintelligible syllables. In response, he flicked his thumb again. She managed to inhale before the dildo cut her off, but again it was gone too soon and she thrashed frantically.

  “Laura, if you can hold still for two seconds I’ll let you up.”

  She’d been so long without air she wasn’t sure she could force her body to be still. Her movements were ones of primitive survival, a desperate attempt to stay alive even as her mind reassured her that he wouldn’t let her die. The hardest thing she ever did
in her life was make herself go limp for two eternally long seconds.

  Her head was pulled back and she gasped air, heaving, tears now streaming down her face.

  Please, she tried to communicate to him, please, I can’t do this anymore. Please stop this!

  His expression was unreadable. “Again.”

  She took a breath of air as she went down. This time she tried to hold herself still. Time crept by in agonizing slowness in the silent room as she struggled to stay calm. Then she couldn’t. She lost control once more.

  “No, Laura!” His sharp voice cut through to her. “Two more seconds!”

  She didn’t know how she did it, but two seconds later she had air again. This time, once she had calmed her breathing, she had no fire left. She slumped as much as the damned machine would allow and would not meet his eyes any more.

  “Again.”

  She managed to keep absolutely still even as tears streamed down her face. Just when she started to panic, he pulled her up and off. He waited. She was resigned now.

  “Again.”

  “Again.”

  “Again.”

  There was nothing in her world except waiting to be allowed to breathe, then breathing until he decided it was time for her to stop breathing again. Once she stopped fighting him and turned her attention to remaining calm, she found she could last without air for the time he demanded. He always seemed to know exactly how long she could hold still before panicking and he would pull her back and off just before that moment. She began to trust him––a little. It didn’t change the fact that she was furious with him.

  The trust was strained as she went down for the umpteenth time and felt the dildo slide in further than the limit it had been set to for all this time. This was substantially deeper and she felt the familiar gagging rise up. She started to struggle again.

  “Time to go deeper. When you can take this depth without gagging, you’re done for the day. I’ll be back.” The machine changed back to its incessant push-pull and he walked out the door.

  Now she gagged each time she went down until the overworked muscles in her stomach ached. There was no food in her stomach to come up, thank God. Once more silent tears leaked from her tightly closed eyes, dripping down her chin and merging with the puddle already on the floor.

  Forward…

  Backward…

  Forward…

  Backward…

  In…

  Out…

  In…

  Out…

  Chapter 22

  Josh arrived back at The Farm in the late afternoon, bruised and sweaty, his soul calmed for the moment. He’d spent the afternoon in the boxing ring at the gym in town. He knew those who sparred with him called him ‘The Devil’ behind his back. They had no idea why he fought with a single-minded ferocity that had most of the other boxers afraid to take him on. There were only a few who rose to the challenge, and he beat most of them—but not all. It was actually the days he lost, pummeled until he was bruised and battered and lying semi-conscious on the mat, that he felt he could get rid of the demon that dug its claws in his back and haunted his dreams. For just a little while.

  He tossed his stuff on the bed in the small room that was his and took a hot shower. He briefly toyed with the idea of having Laura demonstrate her growing skills of massage on his sore muscles, then dismissed it with a snort. If DeLeo didn’t kill him for messing with his slave, Dan would.

  Speaking of Dan… Josh wandered down to the office. He gave a perfunctory knock and turned the knob to let himself in.

  Dan was sitting on the floor, slumped against the front of the desk. With a curse, Josh slammed the door shut and strode over to his partner. He was relieved to find Dan’s eyes open, but unfocused. The small glass of honey-colored liquid in his hand told part of the story.

  “Shit, man, what the fuck is going on?” Josh grabbed the glass and set it on the desk.

  Dan looked up at Josh and tried to focus. When he spoke, his words were distinctly slurred. “I was a bastard today. A fucking bastard. And I enjoyed it.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Josh left Dan with a cup of coffee in his hand long enough to go check on Laura. She was curled up on her bed facing the wall. He was glad to see the water bottle on the floor was almost empty.

  “Laura,” he called quietly.

  “What.” Anger radiated from her voice.

  He sighed. Not now.

  “You will not speak to me like that. Do you understand?” His voice hardened.

  Silence. “Fuck. You. All.”

  Dammit! He’d just come for a quick check, but he couldn’t let her rebellion go unaddressed. Without warning, he picked her up off the bed, swinging them both around as she shrieked. Then he sat down and placed her over his lap. She struggled. He pinned her wildly kicking legs between his thighs and when she reached back to try to claw him, he grabbed her hands and pinned them in the small of her back. She went limp and started to cry.

  This was the moment where the caring Dominant and the uncaring slaver had to part company. If she was his sub, he’d hold her and talk to her until she was calm, and find out what was bothering her. She’d still get spanked for disrespect, of course, but she’d know she was cared for. Here, though, the cameras meant there could be no give, no show of caring. He raised a hand and brought it down hard on her bottom. She screeched and struggled.

  “Listen, and listen good. Disrespect will not be tolerated. You will talk to all your Masters with respect every time you open your mouth. And if you have any hope of being treated well by Victor DeLeo you’ll not only be respectful, you’ll be quiet and obedient, too. Do. You. Understand?” Each word in the last sentence was punctuated with a painful slap to her ass.

  “Ow! Stop! Please! I’ll be respectful, please! I’m sorry!”

  “When I call your name, how do you respond?”

  “Yes, Master!”

  “That’s right. And is it ever acceptable for a slave to curse a Master?” He smacked her pinkening ass in rhythm with his sentence.

  “No! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

  “Much better. Now I’m going to spank you, very hard, because you’re DeLeo’s slave and he expects your behavior to be perfect. And it’s definitely not.”

  “No! Don’t, please, I can’t…”

  “Yes, you can. And you’ll do it silently, just like we’ve practiced. Or I’ll gag you. And I think you’ve had enough of that for one day.”

  He set about giving her one of the hardest spankings he’d ever administered in this place. As incredibly difficult and unfair as it was, she had to play her part perfectly, and anything she did that even whispered that she wasn’t truly afraid of him or Dan had to be erased as fast and as thoroughly as possible. Their lives depended upon it. In this place, the only way to do that was painful punishment.

  Somehow, she managed to keep quiet except for the occasional gasp in, or breathy exclamation out. He was impressed. But he realized he wasn’t going to get his point across to her quickly this way, and he’d left Dan by himself. He needed to finish and get back.

  “Change in plans, because I’m in a hurry.” He let her wrists go and helped her slide down to the floor where she knelt quietly with her eyes cast down.

  “Stay on your knees. Lean your body across the bed and hold onto the frame on the other side. Do not let go or I’ll start over.” He unbuckled his belt and drew it out of the loops. Her eyes widened in fear and a small whimper escaped, but she obeyed. The bed was small and narrow and it was no problem to reach over to the other side. She grabbed the metal bar so hard her knuckles were white.

  He doubled the belt and pulled his arm back. He was going to give her just five, but they were going to test her ability to obey. He swung forward.

  The belt landed with a ‘crack!’ and a red line appeared almost instantly. She screamed and reared up, her hands flying back to soothe the punished skin. She realized her mistake immediately and bent back over the bed to grip th
e far side once more.

  “I’m sorry, Master. Please start over.” Her voice was small and contrite.

  He nodded. “Starting over.” The belt landed again with the same “crack!” but this time she held tight and only let out a forced breath. He repeated the punishing blow four more times, leaving six bright red stripes from the middle of her soft reddened mounds to midway down her thighs, and she managed to do no more than whimper.

  He re-threaded the belt into his pants. “I want you to count to 100 slowly, and then you may get up.”

  “Yes, sir. Th–thank you, sir.” The last was said in a whisper but it made him smile.

  He clanged the cage door shut and walked back to the office

  ~ ~ ~

  Dan watched the whole scene on the cameras, his cup of coffee clutched in his hands like a lifeline. He hoped DeLeo hadn’t been listening when he’d blurted out his confession to Josh a few minutes before. Wherever DeLeo was, it was the middle of the night, so the odds were on their side, but he cursed his carelessness anyway.

  Now as he watched Josh punish Laura, he knew instinctively the scene wasn’t an act for the cameras. It was a Dom punishing a disrespectful sub. And it wasn’t Josh’s actions that surprised him. It was Laura’s. Josh had pushed her hard and Dan half expected she would explode in anger, but she’d quickly turned remorseful, and then submissive. She obeyed Josh, she apologized for moving and asked for the punishment to start over, and she’d thanked him. And he was pretty sure none of it was faked.

  His cock twitched in agreement. Damn thing. It complicated all of this. What he was doing with these women—unwilling and terrified as they were—had never aroused him. Ever. Until Laura.

  What he was doing with her made him stare at the ceiling at night. He would finally give in and masturbate until he spilled his seed all over his hand, the memories of the day racing through his mind.

  He’d been unusually harsh with her today and he had to admit that it might have been because he didn’t know why he was so confused. After he’d finally turned the machine off, he carried her back to the cell and dumped her on the bed, then tossed a bottle of water in her direction. She’d been on the machine for almost six hours.