Hyde (Dark Musicals Trilogy)

by Laura DeLuca

  “It’s not possible,” Rebecca told Carmen firmly. “We always use protection. There’s no way I could be pregnant.”

  Carmen snorted. “My mom swears she was using three forms of birth control when she got pregnant with my brother. That stuff doesn’t always work.”

  Rebecca could only shake her head. “No. I can’t be pregnant. It must be the flu or something, like you said.”

  Carmen narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure, Bec? You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself more than me.”

  Rebecca nodded. “I’m sure.”

  Carmen still wasn’t persuaded, but Rebecca didn’t care. She splashed a little cold water on her face, then went out to finish the last half hour of her shift, hoping the mindless work would make her mind stop whirling in circles. But as she cleared off the last table of the day, the dishes rattled in her trembling hands. It made her realize she could deny it to Carmen all she wanted, but she couldn’t deny it to herself. Rebecca might be pregnant, and she was absolutely terrified.

  Chapter Seven

  Rebecca lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Now that her shift at the restaurant had ended, all she wanted to do was take a nap. She was exhausted and nauseous and longed for sleep, but it was the fact that she was exhausted and nauseous that was keeping her from actually achieving her goal. The harder she tried to relax, the faster her heart started to race. Especially when she thought again about how long it had been since she’d had a visit from her monthly friend. Finally, she gave up on sleeping altogether and rose from the bed.

  At first, Rebecca found herself wearing a path in the carpet as she paced nervously back and forth across her bedroom floor. Eventually, her gaze fell upon her full-length mirror where she stopped to glance at her reflection. The girl with the weepy eyes and pale cheeks staring back at her didn’t seem familiar at all. Was she looking at a Broadway hopeful who was about to finish up her final year of college and begin the career of her dreams? Or was that the reflection of a future mother who was going to have to put all her own goals on hold? It didn’t seem possible she could be both.

  Look at me and tell me who you see

  What does the world expect from me?

  The secret of life is never plain to see

  Exactly who am I meant to be?

  The sad ballad was part of Hyde, but it wasn’t one of the songs Rebecca normally sang. They were actually Victoria’s soulful lines, sung by Lucy as she ponders her life in the brothel. Somehow, the words fit Rebecca’s own situation perfectly. She couldn’t stop herself from whispering the sonnet under her breath as she studied her reflection and lifted her T-shirt to study her smooth, flat belly in the mirror. She laid her hand upon her navel, not precisely sure what she expected to happen. It didn’t seem possible a tiny person could be growing inside there. Yet her once-familiar body was betraying her at every turn, and it was hard to deny something was happening.

  Diiiinngggg Dooonnngggg.

  Rebecca snapped her head up and let her shirt fall back over her stomach at the sound of the doorbell. Since any distraction was welcome, she ran down the steps to see who was there, glad to have a brief hiatus from her paranoia. She expected to find a delivery man with one of her mother’s many QVC purchases. She wasn’t expecting anyone else until much later. Rebecca threw open the door without even checking the peephole, and swallowed hard when she recognized her visitor.

  Carmen stood there, freshly showered after her shift at the restaurant, and tapping her foot impatiently against the porch steps. In her hands, she held a small pharmacy bag, which almost made Rebecca’s heart stop. The two of them stood there staring at each other for a full minute before Carmen finally gave a disgruntled huff.

  “Why, yes, Becca. I’d love to come in.” She pushed her way past Rebecca into the foyer. “Thanks so much for the invitation.”

  “Carmen, what … what are you doing here? We don’t have to leave for the theater for hours yet.”

  “What do you think I’m doing here, Becca?” She thrust the bag in Rebecca’s face. “I’m being your best friend. Go ahead. Take it out.”

  Rebecca really didn’t want to, and she considered arguing that her best friend should allow her to remain in denial for as long as she darn well pleased. But Carmen stared at her with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently, and Rebecca knew she wasn’t going to have any choice in the matter. Carmen would never rest until she had her way. So Rebecca reached into the bag with trembling fingers and pulled out the pregnancy test. Then she shook her head and shoved it back inside.

  “No,” she insisted. “No, I don’t need this.”

  “Yes, you do,” Carmen argued. She glanced at her watch. “And unless you want your parents to be spectators, you’d better hurry and get it over with. Believe me, you’ll feel better once you know what’s going on, one way or another.”

  Carmen didn’t wait for a reply. She was already climbing up the steps to the second floor, and Rebecca had no choice but to follow her or be left behind, literally holding the bag. All too soon, they were standing outside the bathroom. Rebecca seriously contemplated running to her bedroom and barricading the door, but Carmen anticipated her move and blocked the pathway.

  “You’re on your own for this part, Bec.” Carmen gestured her inside. “I’d offer to hold your hand, but it might get messy.”

  Rebecca shuffled slowly across the linoleum, and clicked the door shut behind her. Once she was alone, she was sure she was going to start to hyperventilate. Her breath came in hard pants, and her whole body trembled. Her hands were so unsteady it took her three tries to get the box open and even longer to unwrap the apparatus.

  Simply hold the tester in your urine stream, she read and then snorted.

  That wasn’t so simple when her hands were shaking compulsively. Still, she somehow managed to pull it off without any disasters. She read the directions at least ten more times while she was waiting for the allotted three minutes to pass. They were some of the longest minutes of her life. She had faced down guns, razor blades, and a whole assortment of lunatics, but at the moment, none of those seemed nearly as threatening as the plastic stick waiting innocently on the bathroom counter. A part of her wanted to jump up instantly and see the results, but the larger, more terrified part of her was glued to the edge of the bathtub where she sat. She probably would have stayed frozen to the spot forever if Carmen hadn’t started to pound on the door.

  “Becca,” she called, “if it’s blue, you are. If it’s white, you’re not. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon.”

  Rebecca tugged at the ends of her long hair. “I don’t think it’s been three minutes.”

  “It’s been five easy,” Carmen assured her.

  Rebecca nodded, even though she knew Carmen couldn’t see her. She forced herself to stand, but she wasn’t sure her legs would be able to support her weight. Once she was on her feet, she clung to the wall, unable to move forward. She wasn’t ready to have her whole world turned upside down. She wasn’t prepared to make any life-altering decisions.

  “I can’t do it,” she whispered.

  She didn’t think she had said it loud enough for Carmen to hear, but apparently she had. “All right. That’s it. I’m coming in there,” Carmen announced. “I sure hope you’re decent.”

  Rebecca hadn’t even considered locking the door, so Carmen had no trouble barging into the bathroom. Rebecca didn’t resent the intrusion. In fact, she was grateful to have her best friend beside her. As much as she wanted to be strong, this wasn’t something she was sure she could handle on her own. She didn’t even realize she was sobbing until Carmen came and wrapped her arms around her. The emotions she had been holding back all day burst free in a flood of tears she thought would never ebb.

  “Ah, girl, it’s gonna to be all right. It doesn’t matter what that test says,” Carmen promised. “You’re not alone. You have me here, and you know Justyn will have your back no matter what. That boy adores you.”

 
; “I know.” Rebecca sighed. “It’s just … it’s just…”

  Rebecca wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Carmen didn’t realize her words weren’t a consolation. Rebecca knew Justyn would stand by her no matter what. That was part of the reason she was so terrified. Rebecca didn’t want Justyn to have to sacrifice his future because of her. Sure, Rebecca dreamed of a career on the stage as well, but Justyn had spent his whole life preparing for Broadway. For the last two decades, he had been consumed by nothing but his music—by dance lessons, vocal instructions, and acting classes. Both he and his mother had made a million sacrifices to get him where he was. Now all his dreams were within reach, and that stupid little stick on the sink could ruin everything.

  “Okay, Becca,” Carmen took a deep breath, “are you ready for this?”

  Rebecca nodded, even though she was far from ready.

  “Good, let’s look at that damn test and get this over with.”

  Rebecca wiped the sweat from her forehead, and with Carmen clasping her hand, the two girls tiptoed to the edge of the sink where the pregnancy test was waiting. She thought her heart would explode, it was beating so fast. It was the moment of truth. There was no backing out now. Taking one last deep breath, Rebecca forced herself to look down. She was almost grateful her eyes were so blurry with tears that she couldn’t see the results clearly. Unfortunately, Carmen had a much better view, and her mouth fell open in shock.

  “Boy, is that blue.”

  Chapter Eight

  Beep, Beeeeeep.

  Carmen honked the car horn loudly and obnoxiously outside Justyn’s house for what must have been the third time. She snorted in annoyance as they waited for a response. It was her turn to carpool, and patience had never been one of her biggest virtues. After nursing Rebecca through two hours of sobbing, it was no wonder Carmen’s nerves were frayed. It wasn’t in her nature to be overly sympathetic, and she certainly had no understanding to spare for Justyn when he was holding her up. Rebecca was about to jump out of the backseat to go knock on the door and hurry her fiancé along when she heard the roar of the Mustang’s engine. She peeked over her shoulder just in time to see Justyn pulling up behind them.

  Justyn looked completely frazzled as he jumped out of the driver’s seat. His hair was coming lose from the hair tie, and his shirt was only half tucked in. Rebecca couldn’t remember ever seeing him look so unkempt. Despite the fact he was obviously running late from his other job, he had taken time to stop at a coffee house, as evidenced by the four large lattes lined up in the carrier he pulled from the passenger seat. He distributed them through the windows of Carmen’s car before climbing in. He was lucky it was Carmen’s favorite beverage or he might have been in for a tongue-lashing. Instead, she settled for glaring at him as she sipped the peace offering.

  “Sorry to keep you waiting,” he apologized as he buckled his seatbelt. “If I didn’t grab some coffee, I’d never have made it through the show. It was senior day at the country club, and my voice is hoarse from screaming ‘can I take your order’ a thousand times.”

  Poor Justyn, Rebecca thought to herself. He looks completely exhausted.

  Justyn had literally been working eighteen hours a day, seven days a week, since they got home from college. Even the days when the theater was closed, he took on double shifts at the country club, and they still weren’t sure how they were going to afford their increased rent in the fall. Justyn was stressed out enough. How was she supposed to tell him they were going to have a baby before graduation? He would probably jump out of the moving car. Rebecca was contemplating the idea herself.

  “Is your coffee okay?” Justyn noticed she had left it untouched in the cup holder. “I added cream and six sugars, just the way you like it.”

  Rebecca smiled. It was amazing how well he knew her, right down to her condiments. Yet, as much as she could have used the caffeine jolt, the smell of the coffee was making her feel sick. Plus, she was pretty sure coffee was bad for the baby.

  Oh my God. I’m already thinking of it as a baby.

  That pretty much answered the question that had been lurking unspoken ever since she’d seen the results of the test. She knew Carmen was dying to ask her what she was going to do, but her friend held her tongue. Rebecca was relieved when Carmen didn’t press her, because she’d had no idea what her answer was going to be until that moment. She was a firm believer in a woman’s right to choose, but when she was already protecting her unborn child from a caffeine high, it was obvious there was only one decision for her. Rebecca knew she was going to keep her baby. She just had to let the father in on the secret sometime before the due date.

  “Hello? Earth to Becca.” Justyn waved his hand in front of her face. “Geez, I thought I was tired.”

  “S-s sorry,” Rebecca stuttered. “The coffee’s great. Thanks for thinking of us.”

  Justyn watched her suspiciously when the container stayed untouched in its holder when normally she would have guzzled half the cup before he had his seatbelt buckled. She was surprised he hadn’t noticed how puffy her eyes were from crying. Maybe he assumed she was as tired as him, or maybe the bags of frozen vegetables she had used as ice packs had brought down the swelling. Luckily, Justyn forgot about the coffee when Tom turned the volume all the way up on the radio. He sang along to the rap music and strummed his fingers on the dashboard. After the third consecutive ditty about booty calls, Justyn couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned forward and tapped Tom on the shoulder.

  “Do you think you can lower that a little?” he requested. “I have a really bad headache.”

  Tom complied, but not without a roll of his blue eyes. “This music is better than that classical crap you’re always listening to. At least this stuff has words.”

  Justyn pressed his lips together, annoyed. “Whether those were actual words is still up for debate.”

  “Well, excuse me for being multicultural,” Tom huffed.

  “I suppose now you want to be congratulated on using a word with more than two syllables.”

  “What is your problem?” Tom grunted. “I guess someone is still pissed about falling off the stage.”

  “I didn’t fall,” Justyn argued, his voice getting more belligerent. “Someone tripped me. You know, sort of like the time you pushed me off the scaffolding during Phantom.”

  Tom shook his head and looked a little hurt. “Dude, that’s just wrong. How can you throw that in my face after all his time? You know I never meant for you to fall.”

  “It never would’ve happened if you had acted like a man instead of sucker-punching me.”

  “Whoa, boys, all this is ancient history. Let it go,” Carmen finally intervened. Her hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, and she turned to stare them both down. “Don’t make me have to pull his car over, because I swear to God, I’ll slap you both silly.”

  “Really, Justyn,” Rebecca agreed. “That was back in high school, and it was a tough time for all of us. It’s not fair to bring it up now.”

  Justyn turned and gave her a dirty look. “Whatever. Let’s just drop it.”

  “Humph,” Tom muttered under his breath. “Looks like we’re spending the evening with Mr. Hyde tonight.”

  Justyn probably had a nasty comeback on the tip of his tongue, but instead of risking Carmen’s wrath, he leaned back against the headrest and shut his eyes. Tom was still shaking his head. As much as Rebecca hated to admit it, his comparison was accurate. It wasn’t like Justyn to snap at his friends, no matter how tired he was. Obviously the combination of their money woes and the tension at the theater was starting to wear him down. Which meant it wasn’t the right time to share her surprising news. She decided she would wait until he was feeling better to make the big announcement, maybe at their upcoming engagement party. Until then, she wanted to let Justyn know even he was entitled to a bad day. She reached across the seat to take his hand. He didn’t push her away, but he didn’t squeeze her fingers either.

  R
ebecca knew her hormones were taking control when she felt her eyes get watery over the slight rebuff, but she didn’t force the issue. For the rest of the ride, the four friends were surrounded by a thick silence broken only by the rap music that was still playing at a more moderate volume. Tom tapped his fingers to the beat, but had stopped singing along. Justyn had either fallen asleep or was pretending in order to avoid any more conflicts. Carmen kept giving Rebecca nervous glances in the rearview mirror, as though her new confirmed state of pregnancy meant she might fall to pieces at any given moment. The whole ride was nerve racking, and Rebecca was glad when they finally pulled into the parking lot behind the marshes. She had to wonder how the six-block walk to the restaurant would fare. At least they didn’t have to run to make it on time.

  “Listen, dude,” Tom said, looking awkward as he shut the car door, “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m ummm … you know…”

  “Yeah, I know.” Justyn almost smiled at Tom’s inability to articulate. “I’m sorry too. I really wasn’t trying to pick a fight with you.”

  Rebecca was glad to see them shake hands. Over the last few years, Tom had become one of Justyn’s closest friends. Despite their constant argument it was only because their girlfriends forced them together, Rebecca new there was a real comradeship between them. Justyn was going to need Tom’s support the same way she needed Carmen’s once she worked up the nerve to tell him about the baby, so she was glad they made peace.

  “Are you feeling better?” Rebecca asked when Justyn came up beside her and put his arm around her waist.

  He gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah. I’m okay. I’m sorry I snapped at you. You know I get grouchy when I get these headaches.”

  Rebecca narrowed her eyes. “I know, and it makes me worry it’s been happening so often. Maybe you should cut a few hours off your shift at the country club and try to get a little more sleep.”