Cedar Woman

by Debra Shiveley Welch

  Lena lay with Michael encircled in her arms. She began to relax, the comfort of the warmth of his body easing her into a soporific state. She could feel his heart beating, could sense his breath as if it were her own.

  She snuggled closer to him, smelling his special fragrance, reveling as her heart filled with love.

  Without warning, a cold humor ran through her body, as she felt his

  heart stop, felt the disconnection of their souls. With a startled cry, she turned her husband’s face toward her own and saw that he had left this world.

  Turning her face to the window, a smile of relief formed upon her lips, as through the rectangular opening, she beheld the Thunderbird. Her spirit lifted from the bed, and passing through the window, she stepped upon the giant bird’s wing. Michael was there, waiting for her. Hand extended, he helped her upon their transport: the wings of the Thunderbird, which would take them to the edge of the universe together, and un-separated, they would walk the five steps to the Spirit Path and into the Spirit World.

  She gazed into her beloved husband’s eyes. She loved him so completely, and now they would be together forever.

  Michael pulled her to him and held her. Lena felt the strength of his arms, the fullness of his love, his hand stroking her glorious hair.

  “We will go together, Mihinga,” Lena whispered, clutching her husband to her.

  With a feeling of panic, Lena felt Michael’s arms relax as he slowly

  moved out of their embrace. His hand loosened in hers. He shook his head slowly, his face full of mourning.

  “No, Little Bird, it is not your time. I will wait for you in the Spirit

  World.”

  Lena felt herself flying back through the window, her spirit returning to her body against her will. Her soul cried out as the Thunderbird flew into the horizon, taking Michael from her.

  Lena wakened with a startled cry. Pillow clutched within the circle

  of her arms, she searched the room frantically. Slowly, slowly, her pounding heart returned to its normal beat. Lying down, she closed her eyes breathing deeply.

  It was a dream. Thank you, Creator, it was just a dream!

  Lena rose from her bed and raced for the shower. It was August, and hot, as the condo had no air conditioning. Conversely, in December, the upstairs was freezing; the ancient forced air furnace provided heat only to the first floor. A two-way vent allowed whatever weak heat could find its way to the spacious master bedroom, but Lena noticed that the curtains often froze to the windows, and any beverage she happened to bring up to the room sported a rime of ice the following morning. But today the air was stifling, although it was only five a.m.

  Jumping quickly into the shower, Lena felt the cool water begin to slough away the remnants of the nightmare.

  What a crazy dream! she thought to herself.

  Mentally shaking her head, she applied shampoo, and washed her long, glossy tresses. She had a busy day ahead of her, and tonight Michael would be coming home after a weeklong absence, their first

  separation since their marriage.

  Lena longed to see him. The week had dragged by in a seemingly endless progression of long, lonely hours, and nervous excitement filled her heart at the thought of holding him in her arms once again.

  No wonder I had that horrible dream, she mused. It has seemed like years since Michael left for the powwow.

  An award-winning grass dancer, Michael made the decision that, in spite of the fact that he would miss his beloved wife, he needed to go to the powwow held in Keokuk, Iowa. Boy Ladd was the headman this

  year, and Michael wanted to combine the trip with seeing his old,

  boyhood friend and that of seeing his family. Upon learning of his plans, Vicki asked if she could travel with Michael. There was a distributor of elk and buffalo meat in the nearby city of Fort Madison. She wanted to meet with the general manager in the hopes of getting a better deal on the specialty meats so important to her restaurant. Happy for the company during the long drive, Michael immediately agreed to bring her along.

  Turning off the tap to the shower, and stepping from the molded tub, Lena selected a towel and began drying her long, lustrous hair. There were many things on her agenda today – there was the menu for next week to complete, and three potential interns to interview. In addition, there was a celebratory meal to plan to honor Michael and Vicki’s return.

  Lena wrapped the large bath sheet around her small, curvaceous body, and ran on tiptoe to the bedroom.

  I must talk to Sonny as soon as he gets in. Lena reminded herself. I

  think I miss Vicki almost as much as Michael! She inwardly exclaimed.

  Opening her closet door, she selected a crisp, white blouse with a crocheted lace collar, a simple, black pencil skirt, and a black pair of pumps. Turquoise earrings, with a matching necklace, and Jo-Ann’s ring, completed her ensemble. Turning around, and viewing herself at different angles in the floor length mirror of her antique vanity, Lena nodded her head in satisfaction. Grabbing her black, clutch purse, she extricated the keys to her 1974 Capri 2000.

  She was exhilarated every time she inserted the key and it started. Now 19-years-old, the Competition Orange automobile, christened Punkin’ because of its color, was as faithful as the day she bought it shortly after her marriage. She loved driving it and enjoyed its sleek lines and stability. Patting the dashboard, she murmured, “Good baby,” and pulled out of the one car garage off the communal back yard of her condo.

  Lena pulled into her reserved spot in a nearby parking lot, and stepped from her car. Smoothing her skirt and grabbing her purse and brief case, she locked the door, and turned toward Vicki’s, just two blocks away. The air was fragrant as morning dew kissed grass and flowers; dawn was just breaking as Lena unlocked the door to the restaurant.

  She closed and relocked the door. Moving toward the back of the restaurant, she headed toward her office. Lena liked to arrive early and get most of her paperwork done before phones started ringing, and people started poking their heads in her door for various questions or announcements. She missed Michael, who usually arrived with her for similar reasons. He liked to get the kitchen organized and ready to go before anyone else showed up. Were he here with her today, he would soon bring her and Vicki, who always arrived shortly after, a cup of coffee, and they would sit and plan the day.

  Lena permitted herself a small frown. God, she missed him! The five days he’d been gone seemed like an eternity.

  Walking past Vicki’s office, Lena saw her friend and employer sitting at her desk. Lena grinned,

  “Good morning, Taskmaster,” she joked. Looking up and smiling, Vicki answered,

  “Love you, Baby.”

  Lena smiled her answer and walked another few feet before realization hit her. Vicki was back! That meant Michael was back! She must have just missed his return to the condo! Turning on her heel, excitement lighting her beautiful face, Lena rushed into Vicki’s office.

  It was empty.

  The story unfolded like a James Dean movie. Michael and Vicki enjoyed the powwow and Michael his reunion with his family and Boy Ladd. They stayed the full three days, and took a day to investigate the warehouse from which they were thinking of ordering their specialized meats. Eager to return home, they decided to leave in the late-afternoon, instead of staying over. Deciding to surprise Lena with their early arrival, they set off in Michael’s automobile and headed home.

  They almost made it. A drunk driver slammed into Michael’s car a mere 18 miles from their destination. Michael threw himself in front of Vicki, but the airbag malfunctioned, and both were crushed. They died instantly.

  Listening attentively to the police officer, Lena quietly fainted.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Only the Rocks Live Forever

  Arapaho Quote

  The smell of flowers overwhelmed her. Lena was vaguely aware of Sonny’s arm around her small shoulders, of Nickie leaning against her as if for support.

&nb
sp; On one level, she realized that Michael was gone forever, but her love would not let her accept that he was gone from her until she too rode upon the wing of the Thunderbird.

  Sonny was numb. Like the victim of a gunshot wound to the heart, he felt nothing, but he knew the day, the hour, the minute would come when the numbness wore off, and the pain would be, literally, heart- rending.

  His gaze wandered from coffin to coffin. The double funeral made sense: Vicki had become such a part of Michael’s life that it was right that the two be mourned together.

  Sonny gazed upon Vicki’s still form.

  Such a caring and giving woman, Sonny thought, clenching his eyes in order to fight back tears.

  Memories of Vicki formed in his mind: Vicki, embracing him on his first day at the restaurant, assuring him that he was welcome; Vicki, smiling as she walked to her office, a skip in her step testifying to her joy

  in her life, her restaurant and her friends.

  Sonny turned to Michael.

  Brother/cousin, how will I live the rest of my life without you in it? How can I go on for a lifetime without hearing your laugh, feeling you slap my shoulder at the end of a joke?

  Sonny, his mind again awash with memories, saw the living Michael at the powwow where he met Lena; remembered the young boy who played with him during long, humid nights; recalled the teenager roaring up to Sonny’s house in his first “Rez Rocket.” Clenching his teeth, Sonny forbad the memories to continue. He must maintain control; he could not let the pain enter his heart until he was alone!

  Sonny turned his head to look at Lena. Dumb from the moment she awoke from her faint, she maintained her unspoken grief. Stoic and silent, she left the preparations of the double funeral to Sonny and

  Nickie, except for the reception. Lena focused on the food that would be

  served in Vicki’s restaurant.

  It’s as if, Sonny mused, she was preparing them for Vicki and Michael again…as if they would be there to eat and drink with their friends.

  Sonny bowed his head and once again fought back tears.

  Not yet, he told himself, not yet: not until this is all over and I am alone.

  Nickie placed a hand on Lena’s right shoulder in an attempt to break through her stoic façade. Nickie gazed upon Michael – so handsome, even in death. Sonny had chosen to bury him in his grass dancer regalia. The effect was stunning. Even in death, Michael appeared to sing with life.

  Now, with Michael gone, I absolutely don’t stand a chance with

  Sonny.

  Nickie gave a start, gasped and ran from the room.

  Sonny heard Nickie’s intake of breath, and looked just in time to see her run into the hallway of the funeral home. Turning to Boy Ladd,

  he asked that he stay near Lena, and walked briskly out of the room in

  search of Nickie.

  Nickie ran to the parking lot. Fumbling with her keys, dropping them, and awkwardly retrieving them, she finally managed to enter her car. Bending over the steering wheel, she began to wail. How could she have thought such a thing?

  Oh, my God, she screamed inwardly, what kind of monster am I? My best friend has suffered a devastating loss, and I’m angry because now she is free for Sonny? What is wrong with me?

  A tap on her window caused her to jump. Turning a tear-stained face toward the sound, she beheld Sonny, motioning for her to open the door.

  Lena sat stiffly in the leather cushioned, high-back chair. The man across from her was opening a file. She jumped as a young woman offered her a glass of water. Shaking her head, she declined the beverage, and returned her gaze to the attorney who sat across from her.

  Larry Prince specialized in Estate law. Not a tall man, he was nonetheless imposing, and bore a striking likeness to the actor Mike Myers. His large, brown eyes were kind, and not without sympathy, as he looked up to address Lena.

  “Lena, I am about to read the last will and testament of Vicki Compton, but first, I’d like for you to read a note which she particularly wanted me to show you.”

  Larry leaned forward and handed Lena a piece of paper. As if in a trance, Lena accepted the heavy, vellum document, and began to read, her eyes widening with every sentence:

  My Dearest Lena,

  I have come to love you as I would love my own daughter. Perhaps this is why I felt it so appropriate when your grandmother, your unci, adopted me as her daughter. It just seemed to fit.

  You have brought me great joy. Knowing you has filled my spirit with such happiness, that I cannot express to you how wonderful being a part of your life has been. From the moment you walked into my restaurant, you have been a blessing to me.

  And so, sweet daughter, I bequeath to you my other child. I want you to have Vicki’s. It’s yours, with all of my love.

  Vicki

  Lena was stunned! She knew that Vicki loved her, but it had not occurred to her that she would inherit the restaurant. Her amazement increased as Larry began to read the will. Lena was Vicki’s sole heir; Lena was a wealthy woman.

  Chapter Seventeen

  There is no death, only a change of worlds.

  Chief Seattle

  The restaurant was closed to the public for the first time since Lena and Michael’s wedding, but it was not a happy occasion this time. Tonight was the one-year anniversary of the deaths of Vicki and Michael.

  Officiating in the Wiping of Tears Ceremony was Boy Ladd, childhood friend of Sonny and Michael.

  Boy Stands With Wings Ladd stood 5’6” and weighed 130 pounds soaking wet. Quiet and kind, he was often asked to perform ceremonies

  where compassion and delicacy were required. He was asked by Michael’s family to officiate at the Wiping of Tears ceremony because of these qualities.

  Boy Ladd smudged the restaurant and guests, and performed the Canumpa, or Pipe Ceremony, in which the catlinite vessel was loaded and smoked, and prayers offered up to Creator. Walking up to each

  mourner and wiping their tears with red, one-inch square tear cloths, Boy

  Ladd reminded the attendees that one year had passed since the deaths of the two loved ones: it was time to move on.

  “Tunkasila Wakan Tanka, hear me. It is Stands With Wings and I

  come humbly before you to seek healing for this family.

  “Lena Cedar Woman Young Bear, with these tear cloths, I wipe away your tears. You are done with your mourning, and it is time to move on. Now is the time for healing, and a time to move forward.

  “It is time to let go of those you loved, and allow their souls to move

  on.

  “It has been a year since your loved ones made the Journey, and it has been hard for you who loved them. So now, I wipe your tears, and pray that the Grandfathers make you over in a good way.

  “Allow your loved ones to move on to the Spirit World, their time here is done. Release the ties that bind them here to you, and allow them

  to complete their journeys. You will see them again when it is time, but you need to allow them to move on.

  “It is good that you mourn your dead. It is a testament to their lives,

  but the Grandfathers tell us that life must go on. Honor the dead by celebrating your own life.

  “And so I wipe away your tears, and pray that Tunkasila will make you over in a good way, and that your healing can be complete.

  “Tunkasila Wakan Tanka, I ask you to watch over these pitiful ones, that you make them over in a good way. Allow them to heal, and to move

  on from this sorrow.

  “Hau, Mikauye Oyapi, hetchetu yelo88.”

  Smiling, Boy Ladd cried, “Now, Indian, up and move on!”

  Walking over to Lena and embracing her, Boy Ladd proceeded to offer hugs and words of consolation to the rest of the guests.

  Nickie and Sonny prepared a Spirit Plate for the grandfathers. The platter contained a little of everything being served, and would be placed

  upon a small table set up in front of the restaurant’s entrance so that t
he

  Grandfathers could eat without being disturbed. As they worked, Boy Ladd prayed over the food. That done, the mourners were free to eat, remembering stories about the departed, and reveling in the memories they shared.

  One mourner was too young to take part. He was three months old, born nine months after his father’s death.