Alpha

by Natasha Knight

  “That bastard is dead.” His face darkened in disgust.

  “Zane?”

  He looked at me for too long, and in those moments, a piece of me died, knowing his answer.

  “Zane?” I asked again, trying to sit up but failing.

  “Why don’t we talk about Zane when you’re feeling a little better?”

  Everything quieted. Minutes passed, and a tear left its trail down my temple, followed by another. My grandfather remained watching me, the look in his eyes tender.

  “Is he —”

  A monitor went off and the nurse came over. I realized how quickly my heart was beating. She cast a worried glance at my grandfather and gave him a shake of her head. He squeezed my shoulder, nodding to the nurse who injected something into my IV.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Shh. It’ll help you sleep.”

  “No. I don’t want —”

  “Quiet now, dear,” the nurse said. “It’s not good for you to become agitated.” Then, to my grandfather, “Please, she can’t be upset.”

  “Fly? What about Fly?” I desperately asked before the drugs would knock me out.

  My grandfather smiled at me sadly. “He’s unharmed. Turned out he was the one who had been stealing from Savage Blood, and a good thing he was. I hadn’t realized how powerful Ace had grown, but ever since Zane left, he’d been working to overthrow Cain. He had enough supporters to do it, killed off a third of Savage Blood. Fly is in charge of the pack now until we’re fully integrated. The packs will be united, Aria. You’ll be safe.”

  I turned away, looking out the window into bright sunshine.

  Safe.

  I didn’t want to be safe. I didn’t want to be alive. I wanted to be with Zane.

  “Mr. Marks, she needs to get some rest.”

  “I understand. I’ll be here when you wake, Aria.”

  I drifted off to sleep, blissful, numbing sleep.

  * * *

  It was a dream, but I didn’t care. It was better than my reality because I remembered the feel of Zane’s hand around mine, remembered it going limp, our fingers still touching, neither of us truly able to hold on any longer. And yet, here he was, dressed in his usual jeans and T-shirt, smiling down at me. He was more than a little beat up, but he was here.

  “Zane?”

  “Aria.” He smiled that smile I so rarely saw, the one I remembered from before when everything was good, where my mom and my brother were still alive.

  I sat up, glancing down at myself in my hospital gown, at the tubes attached to me. Nothing hurt, and there seemed to be a glow around us.

  “You need to lie back down,” he said, still smiling. “You need to heal.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his strength as he circled me with his. But it was wrong. He didn’t feel warm. In fact, he felt cold. Ice cold.

  “What’s happening, Zane?”

  He kissed the tip of my nose then my forehead. “Shh. Rest now.”

  “Are you dead?”

  He pulled back, that smile having faded a little, his eyes sad. But he shook his head. “I’m going to come back to you. I promise.”

  “I don’t understand. My grandfather —” But I realized he hadn’t actually said anything. He’d never confirmed one way or the other.

  “He’s only trying to protect you. Trust him.”

  “I love you, Zane.”

  “I love you, Aria. I have for a very long time. You’re my thing, remember?”

  I did remember. He had told me how everyone has a thing, the one thing that can break them. I was his, and he was mine. And we were breaking together.

  I nodded.

  “I need to go. I’m tired, Aria.” That was the first time Zane had shown weakness. The first time since I’d known him. Giving me a sad smile, he stepped back, his body already fading from view.

  “Don’t go.” Tears slid down my face as I quietly wept, trying to hold on to him for a little longer even as he faded out.

  “I have to.”

  * * *

  I woke crying, with my grandfather holding my hand again, his face drawn. Outside the window, it was dark. How long had I slept? Hours? Days?

  “Where is he, Grandfather?”

  “He was badly hurt, Aria. He was shot twice. One bullet pierced his lung, the other damaged his heart. And the time had come to test the next Alpha. When the father dies, the next in line undergoes changes, trials. It’s to prove if a man is worthy to be Alpha. If you don’t die, then the answer is yes.”

  “Oh God.”

  “It was a lot for him, given his state.”

  “Is he dead?”

  He shook his head. “I gave him my blood. I’ll give him more today, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

  “I want to see him.”

  He shook his head. “It could be dangerous for you.”

  “I don’t care. I have to see him.”

  The nurse came into my room to check the screens, giving my grandfather a look. “Please don’t agitate the patient, sir, or we’ll need to sedate her.”

  “No. No more drugs. At least tell me where he is. Where I am, for that matter.”

  “You’re at our compound.”

  I looked at him, confused.

  “Rage’s compound.”

  “You have a hospital here?”

  “No, just some medical rooms and equipment. It’s easier to deal with our own kind when we need care.”

  I guessed that made sense.

  “Where’s Zane? Is he here, too?”

  He nodded.

  “Please take me to see him. I need to.”

  “He’s not fully in control of himself, Aria. He could be a danger to you.”

  “You’ll be there. And he won’t hurt me.” I needed to see with my own eyes just what was happening.

  “All right. They’re taking the IV out tomorrow morning. If you feel well then, I’ll take you to him.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, to make him take me now, but changed my mind. “Okay. Tomorrow morning.”

  “Get some rest.”

  “That’s all I’ve been doing.”

  He patted my shoulder before leaving. He was taking care of Zane? He was giving blood, his own, to help him.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Zane

  I woke from the dream of Aria, knowing she was going to be all right. Me, I wasn’t so sure about. Waves of sheer agony consumed me, only giving me the briefest moments of reprieve, of lucidity, in which I found myself behind bars, men standing outside, guarding me. Or guarding the rest of the people here. I was at Rage’s headquarters. Their logo was emblazoned on the wall. Men came and went, soldiers, all with guns, ready to put me down. But Xander didn’t want me dead. He needed me.

  And, truly, it was going to take a miracle for the Alpha trials not to kill me. Being injured before it began wasn’t helping my situation. For a long time, I’d wondered what would happen when Cain did die. Whether Ace would have been the one to be tested.

  The door opened and Xander walked in, flanked by more soldiers. He was dressed, as usual, impeccably.

  “Zane. You’re… yourself?” We healed faster in wolf form, so I’d remained as such for a long time.

  I closed the eye that was open, the splitting headache returning. I lay on my side, waiting for it all to begin again, a few moments of tranquility before the next trial. Whether it was my mind or my bones, it was all pain.

  “I’m giving you more blood, son.”

  “I’m not your son.”

  “Ah, there he is.” Xander laughed. “If you’re feeling up to visitors, Aria is demanding to see you.”

  Headache be damned. “She woke?”

  Xander nodded as he rolled up his shirtsleeve. “Just as stubborn as ever.”

  I smiled. That was my girl.

  The doctor pricked Xander’s arm, drawing blood. He flinched when the needle broke skin. Could it be that Xander Marks, Alpha of Rage, was afraid of
needles. I’d laugh if it didn’t hurt so damned much.

  But it had been his blood that saved me. He was Alpha, his blood superior, and it healed me enough that I didn’t die as soon as the testing began.

  Lightning flashed behind my eyes, another wave of agony coming. I clung to the thought of seeing Aria, of touching her again, holding her close. It was the only way to survive it. Although touching her wouldn’t be an option tomorrow. I’d have to be locked out of reach of her. I felt stronger than ever before, but couldn’t take a chance that I’d hurt her.

  “You think it’s wise to bring her here?” I desperately wanted to see her, but not if I was even remotely out of control.

  “I think it will help both of you.”

  Still, was it a good idea for her to see me this way? I sat up and met his gaze, even though the pain nearly blinded me. “You’re sure she’ll be safe?” I paused, eyes flicking away before finishing. “From me?”

  Xander studied me for a long time. “You won’t hurt her.” His eyes held a warning though. If I ever did, I’d be a dead man. I respected him for that.

  “Finished.” The doctor pulled the needle out of Xander’s arm, the blood collected into a bag.

  “Thank you, Xander,” I said, needing to lie down again. Wanting him to leave before I did. He had saved my life with the transfusions.

  He nodded. “Until tomorrow, son.”

  He kept calling me that, but it was said differently now than it had been that night he’d come to the bar.

  “Until tomorrow.”

  * * *

  Tomorrow took too long to come. I slept badly, but I slept. And, somehow, today, I’d woken with slightly less pain. I’d taken pain-free days for granted all my life. I’d be grateful for each one going forward.

  I held my hands out in front of me — they’d changed, grown bigger. I wore no clothes apart from a pair of briefs. I’d torn through everything else. But it was subsiding; I could feel it. I had survived the test. The ache in my bones the last days had been horrific. I was bigger. I had no mirror to see my face, but my hair had grown longer and hung to my shoulders. I only hoped I wouldn’t scare Aria.

  “Guard.”

  The man met my eyes.

  “I’d like to see a mirror.”

  He nodded, left the room, and returned a few moments later with a handheld mirror. I took it from him, willing myself to be strong. To be ready. I’d only ever known my father as Alpha. I hadn’t seen the change come over him. But I had seen photos that showed his change had been dramatic. It was that way for many Alphas, and the younger it happened, the more marked the differences. I hoped I still resembled myself.

  I sat back down and held the mirror up, relieved as soon as I had to courage to meet my reflection. My hair was longer, thicker, and a heavy beard covered my jaw, but, apart from that, I was myself. The bones of my face were sharper, but I was myself. Perhaps because I’d already been tested six years ago and, even though I’d failed, a change had already taken place inside me, making me stronger than ever, making me a true Alpha.

  Sounds in the corridor drew my attention, and I picked up her scent instantly. My body reacted as soon as I did, and I cursed myself, cursed my cock for its eagerness at welcoming her. I tugged the jeans they’d left me up over thick calves and thighs and willed my dick to calm. It didn’t. She was mine. I’d claimed her, and I wanted her again. Now that she was near, and I was Alpha, the urge was even more powerful.

  “Restrain me!” I yelled to the guard, holding up the chains that hung from the walls. I’d worn them the first weeks. I wasn’t sure if it was so I wouldn’t harm others or myself then. Rage had filled me when it had all begun. Rage at what had happened, at how this had all happened, especially when I didn’t know if Aria would live, but now, that had passed, and only a nagging ache remained.

  “Alpha won’t allow it.”

  Perhaps he was right. Or perhaps he had more faith in me than he should.

  What if I hurt her?

  “Please.”

  He shook his head as the door opened. Xander took up all the space there and, for a moment, I wondered about his Alpha test, but not for long once I heard her voice.

  “Let me in.” Aria. I smiled. She shoved at him to move aside. He did, but when she tried to rise from the chair they’d wheeled her down in, he put a hand to her shoulder.

  “We have a deal, Aria.”

  “Fine.” Petulant. I loved that about her.

  Xander wheeled her into the room. Our eyes locked for the first time in more than a month. For the first time with no secrets between us. And, for a moment, my heart ceased to beat while I listened to hers thunder in her chest.

  “Leave us,” Xander said to the men.

  Was he sure?

  He only held my gaze, daring me to question him.

  “You have five minutes. Make good use of them.”

  Unlocking the cell door, Xander wheeled her into the prison within the room. Panicked, I backed up, exhaling loudly.

  “Xander,” I started, eyes locked on Aria.

  “You won’t hurt her,” he said just like he had last night.

  “You won’t,” Aria said, smiling her sweet smile.

  “She stays in her seat at all times,” Xander said, stepping out of the cell and pretending to look over paperwork on the desk just outside. Truly, he wasn’t taking any chances with his granddaughter in the cell with me, and I was glad.

  I sat on the cot and took her hands in mine. She looked at them then at my bare chest, my face and hair. I worried at what she saw, how she saw it, until she met my gaze again. “I missed you.”

  I exhaled in relief. “I missed you.” I leaned in to take her in my arms, but when she made to stand, Xander cleared his throat. He had one eye on us, as he should.

  “Ugh.” She sat back.

  “I’m sorry you were hurt. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

  She shook her head. “How could you protect me against a dozen machine guns?”

  “I should never have placed you in danger to begin with.”

  “I don’t think it was you who did that.”

  No, I supposed it wasn’t. It felt right, and I realized for the first time in six years, I felt clean. Something else had happened the night my father had been killed, or in the weeks following his death. I’d somehow forgiven myself for my mistakes.

  Her eyes glistened with tears, and I reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears before taking her face into my hands. “I love you, Aria. I love you so much, and once I’m out of here, I’m never leaving your side again.”

  Those tears fell as she reached for my face, running her knuckles along my beard. “I hope you won’t. When I thought you were dead, I wanted to die, too. I don’t ever want to be away from you again.”

  “That’s not happening.”

  “What is happening?”

  “Savage Blood will become a part of Rage. Xander will rule as Alpha of Rage, and I will take my place where I was always meant to be, as Alpha of Savage Blood.” It still pained me to think this was because my father had been cut down too soon, but this was life, and it was time for me to accept my duty and lead my people. “When Xander retires, for lack of a better term, the packs will be united as one, with me as Alpha.”

  “But you didn’t want this. You didn’t want anything to do with the packs.”

  “That was when I thought they’d betrayed me. But it turns out there was only one bad seed. I realize my duty, Aria, and my pack needs me to lead them now. Question is, is this what you want? A life at my side, as my wife and mate?”

  “I can’t want anything else, Zane. This wasn’t what I expected to find when I came searching, but I’m yours. What my mom and dad should have done all those years ago is what we’re going to accomplish. It feels right, like I’m honoring their memory. Honoring the memory of my brother.”

  We had a duty, both of us. It didn’t need to be discussed, it simply was. There was no walking away for either of
us. If that happened, war would break out in time, and the packs would destroy one another. My father had said I didn’t know the meaning of the word duty. I only hoped that wherever he was now, he’d forgiven me and was proud of me.

  “Aria, I think we should get you back to the medical facility,” Xander said.

  “Just a few more minutes. Please, Grandfather.”

  “Why don’t I come with you?” I asked. I felt good. I felt right. I wouldn’t hurt her or anyone else. And it was time to begin my new life.

  Aria looked hopefully at Xander who studied me then nodded.

  “I think that would be a good idea.”

  Epilogue

  Zane

  I’d missed the hot scratch of the needle, the way it could send you to outer space.

  Aria sat across from me, leafing through a magazine as the artist worked, tattooing the new mark of Rage’s Savages, the united pack, on my back. It would cover nearly the whole of it, leaving the black rose and what remained visible of the original Savage Blood tattoo untouched. Xander had wanted me to patch it over, but I would not. It was my history.

  We’d defeated Ace, and all loyal to him were either dead or exiled. Mostly dead. I sometimes wondered if that part bothered Aria, but if it did, she didn’t let on. Xander still ruled as Alpha, but, within weeks, I would be taking over.

  I reached a hand to touch Aria’s — my wife’s — newly rounding belly. The first of the next generation was on his way. The next Alpha and the first of many, I hoped.

  She smiled, covering my hand with hers. “You doing okay?”

  “Yeah. Really good.”

  Three years had passed since the night at the bar. Three years since we’d defeated Ace. Once we’d both healed, I’d taken her away for a year, traveling anywhere and everywhere we wanted. Xander had been pissed as fuck, but we’d needed that time. I wanted Aria to be sure of what she wanted, of what being by my side would entail. I was destined to be Alpha, and it was a duty I could not turn my back on, not again. I didn’t even want to. But I wanted that year with her in case she did say no. In case she decided she wanted normal. But that normal would mean a lonely existence for her. If she’d chosen that route, she’d never be able to have children because, as soon as that happened, normal would go out the window.