Yours Accidentally

by Nevatia, Madhur

  “Dulhe Raja, you’re glowing, man.”

  “Good to see you in one piece again. Sab kuch jud gaya?”

  “At least the bones and muscles have.”

  “What else was broken?”

  “Forget about me. Tu bataa. Excited or nervous?”

  “Nervously excited,” Sanjay laughed. “Excited about finally marrying Tanya and nervous about the next three days. Hope everything goes off well, the weather holds out, no one gets into a drunken fight, and Tanya doesn’t have a change of heart at the last minute.” As an afterthought he added, “And please, no office work this time.”

  Gautam laughed out loud, “My deal has gone through successfully, so no worries. At your service, sirji.”

  “Just for your knowledge, Sameera has reached Goa. Her ‘Premium Indulgence Cottage’ is coincidentally next to yours.” Sanjay’s smile was conspiratorial.

  ***

  Soaking in the pristine white bath, Gautam dug deep into his heart. The questions had perennially lingered in his mind; it was time for some answers. What did he feel about her? Why was she constantly on his mind? He could recall every image, every outfit, replay every conversation, and smell her fragrance even when she was not present. She seemed to have her own issues—was he ready to deal with them? She had an uncanny knack of hurting him, making him angry yet he sought her out. The fact remained that she had kissed him first but he had been kissed many times before. What was special about this one?

  For two months he had fought his emotions, now it was time to face them. There could be no smoke without fire but he needed to be sure that the fire burnt on both sides. The warm, lavender scented water soothed his mind and body. All his life he had been chasing something or the other, studies, career, projects, salary, success, money. Was Sameera his next goal or the end of his pursuits? This time he was truly on his own—no coaching classes, no rankings, no placement committees, just him and his instinct. He would not chase her; neither would he avoid her.

  They would meet eventually; till then he had time to brace himself for that moment.

  ≈

  EIGHTEEN

  Multi-hued lights added a dash of uber-chic to the already spiffy interiors of the SFX Lounge Bar. Gautam was amongst the first to arrive. The vast blue sea outside glistened in the afterglow of a glorious sunset. The bartenders were carefully stacking broad bowled champagne coupes to build the champagne tower. Black jacketed waiters carried shiny silver trays laden with exotic hors d’oeuvre. Sanjay walked in looking dapper in a black tuxedo complete with a bow tie and cummerbund. Gautam walked up with two glasses of Jack Daniels on the rocks. “Cheers buddy. Let the festivities begin!”

  “Thanks G. I really need this.”

  “Now wipe your brow and let’s get ready to rock this party.”

  Sanjay was pleasantly surprised at Gautam’s high spirits. He had expected him to melt into a corner for the rest of the evening. His accident had obviously changed him. The guests poured in and the lounge buzzed with activity. The DJ changed the music to a groovy romantic number as Tanya entered dressed in a metallic copper floor length cocktail dress with high heeled strappy sandals looking every bit like the gorgeous bride-to-be. Gautam looked beyond her.

  Sameera wore a decadent yet innocent lime green chiffon dress that cascaded to her knees. The fitted bustier was sewn with delicate petals making her look like a flower child blossoming into her own. Her hair was carelessly tied in a loose braid hanging over one shoulder. Except for delicate solitaire earrings, she wore no other jewelry. Gautam knew there would be initial awkwardness between the two of them, so he decided to take the lead and make things easier.

  “Hi. How have you been?”

  Sameera looked embarrassed. “Hello Gautam. It’s so good to see your arm has healed well.”

  “Yes, Dr. Apratim worked wonders.”

  She looked away, her eyes glistened with tears.

  “Hey. I’m kidding, yaar. Anyway, since we will be seeing a lot of each other for the next three days, let’s clear the air between us. The party is yet to catch steam. Care for a stroll?” He held out his hand; she hesitated. “I don’t bite, Sameera. Come on, be a sport.”

  He took her hand and led her out to the soft powdery beach. They walked slowly, their footprints dark on the white sandy carpet. The water shone like liquid gold in the setting sun.

  “You were reluctant to come, see what a sight I have gifted you.” He turned towards her with a smile, “If you want to thank me, go right ahead.”

  Sameera looked quizzically at him. “You’ve changed, Gautam. Cool as a cucumber, not bad, but stop pulling my leg.”

  “Pulling your leg? No way, Sameera. I don’t want you taller than you are.”

  “Bad joke, Gautam.” She giggled, he laughed, and they strolled happily along the water’s edge. A young couple entangled in each other’s arms walked ahead of them; when they stopped for a passionate kiss, Sameera and Gautam felt the tension lay thick between them. Their laughter stopped, their pace quickened.

  “I owe you an apology for my behavior that night. There are some things that haunt me from my past. I thought I could move on, but I failed.”

  “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. I thought my kiss was so terrible that you had to not only stop, but also run away.” Sameera looked at him incredulously. “I’ve even changed my mouthwash since then.”

  She didn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed at his irreverence. Here she was trying to open her heart to him and he was being frivolous. On the other hand, could he be doing this to put her at ease?

  “The sand is getting into my sandals. I have to go,” she turned around to leave.

  “Then take them off.” Gautam caught her arm in a tight grip, his voice was steel, gone was the playful grin and banter, instead, he looked like a stern teacher reprimanding an errant child.

  “Don’t you dare turn your back on me again. What the hell do you think you’re doing? One minute we are having a conversation and the next you just turn and leave.” He let go of her hand. “You seem to have made a habit of this. You may have had your share of issues, but don’t go around behaving as if the whole world should feel your pain.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “I’ve said what I wanted to, now you may go.” He stood unblinking, staring at the gentle waves.

  She was not used to people speaking to her thus; she was rattled by his aggression, but she knew he was right. A gentle breeze wafted in, spraying them with moisture from the waves. Gautam wanted to turn around and leave, but he could not bring himself to do it. His heart would explode any minute and yet she was the one crying. He avoided looking at her.

  “You’re right, Gautam. Once again, I’m sorry.” Her smile was wan. “I’m making a habit of apologizing too. Perhaps a long chat will help me clear up my head.”

  He looked straight into her eyes. Beneath that gorgeous face and the glamorous dress he saw a simple girl looking at him with earnestness that could melt stone. He lent her his arm, “Shall we? Our friends must be wondering where we are. At least I hope so.”

  As she took his arm a wave of warmth washed over her. This felt good. She needed to sort out many things and this time she prayed fervently that she could.

  ≈

  NINETEEN

  By the time they got back, the party meter had cranked up several notches. Sameera and Gautam mingled in the crowd and drifted away from each other towards the comfort of their own friends. Sanjay caught up with Gautam and Sameera saw him hold his ears in mock apology as Tanya stood smiling at the two of them. The DJ played rocking house music; Goan Rumba and Pineapple Mojito cocktails flowed like water, and everyone was in a groovy party mood.

  Gautam put aside his inhibitions and hit the dance floor with Mihir and Rohan. At midnight, when the party was officially over and the elders retired to their rooms, the youngsters carried their party to the beach. The girls discarded their heels while the guys threw off their jacket
s, rolled up their trousers and flung aside their crisp shirts. The party had turned into a private carnival.

  Soon everybody was tired and sleepy and the party started dispersing. Gautam and Sameera found themselves walking together towards their cottages. They walked silently, companionably through the lush gardens. Majestic cycas and fragrant frangipanis shone in the moonlight, the waves swished in the distance.

  He waited as she fumbled with her door.

  Slowly she turned around. “Are you annoyed with me, Gautam?”

  “Should I be?”

  She moved towards him, stood close to him, their hands almost touching. “I’m really tired but we could sit here for a bit.”

  The wicker chairs seemed very inviting. He longed to just sit there wrapped in her arms, her head resting on his chest; but he had already made her cry once and did not want to upset her further. He looked at her solemnly, “Since you are tired, why don’t you rest now, Sameera? We’ll talk tomorrow. Good night.” He turned around and went into his cottage.

  ***

  Sameera stood at the door for a long time, waiting for her nerves to settle. Her apparent lack of trust had annoyed him but he too was unpredictable, one minute he wanted to spend time with her, the next he was desperate to get away. Not many guys would have walked away from her like he did, but then he was unlike most guys she had met.

  ≈

  TWENTY

  The morning was bright and clear. Sameera was mesmerized by the riot of colors in the garden. Tanya was still fast asleep as were their other friends, so she walked alone towards the beach, inhaling deeply, the fresh air a treat for her Mumbai lungs. She kicked off her shorts and gently waded into the cool waters in her yellow, one-piece Speedo costume. She sat at the edge, letting the water sweep over her body through her toes to her waist.

  “Hey. What a surprise. Did you come looking for me?” Gautam stood in his blue beach shorts, taut and tanned. “Just kidding. Good to see someone else enjoying Goa in its true glory. Come along.” He walked off authoritatively.

  Sameera decided to follow him, with no extra baggage.

  Gautam headed for the water sports section. They got into a banana boat and he made her sit in front; she clung tightly to the sides, her stomach churning with each exaggerated turn. Just when she thought she had survived, Gautam let out a loud whistle and the boatman toppled the boat. They were flung into the water with the boat on top of them. Gautam pulled her up as she struggled to save her life. He was in splits. “You should really see your face right now Sameera. You can’t get your money’s worth if they don’t topple you.”

  She was hugely embarrassed to find they were in shallow waters that reached only till their waists. Now that she had defeated death and was safe, she started giggling.

  “What do we do next?”

  “That’s the spirit. Bump-ride time.”

  By the time it ended, Sameera had become an adrenalin junkie and craved for more, so they went parasailing. The speedboat towing them maneuvered deftly and they went high up in the air. She felt like a bird as she soared with Gautam. After a fiercely competitive water scooter round, they flopped on the beach, tired and contented.

  After a lavish breakfast in the restaurant, Sameera walked to her cottage with a skip in her step. She had enjoyed with Gautam and this was the first time that they had met without things souring between them.

  For a long time, she had been looking forward to her spa appointment, now she was more impatient to meet Gautam again.

  ***

  The poolside was bejeweled with little lights that sparkled like a million stars. Music wafted in the air. Smartly dressed waiters floated around carrying trays laden with exotic appetizers and colorful drinks. Gautam was perched on a bar stool, enjoying his cocktail, but his eyes scanned the room for Sameera. A barrage of whistles and catcalls made him look up. Sameera and her gang of girls were grooving to Radha Likes to Party. Clad in a white sharara, with long flowing hair, hint of a midriff, dozens of sparkling silver bangles on delicate wrists, and long dangling earrings, she shimmered under the disco globes. Enchantress. Gautam couldn’t take his eyes off her.

  When her dance got over he turned his back to the stage. After the choreographed tamasha everyone hit the dance floor but Gautam was in no mood. What the hell was Sameera still doing? Why couldn’t she join him for a drink? Irritated again, he almost did not hear her soft voice behind him.

  “Hi. Can I lend you a pair of dancing shoes?”

  He turned around. “Someone has to be the audience too.”

  “It’s interval time. Let’s go and dance.”

  “Don’t go. Come with me, please.” He led her towards the beach. The weather was perfect.

  “Thanks for looking me up, Sameera.”

  Sameera smiled up at him.

  “There are some things I should tell you. I’m not a teenager anymore and don’t like cat and mouse games; I don’t chase well nor do I like being chased. I like everything in black and white.” She looked at him quizzically and was about to speak but stopped when she heard him say, “I want to kiss you Sameera. I can’t beat around the bush anymore.” He bent and kissed her softly on the cheek. She stood absolutely still.

  “I have to be honest to myself. Now you can slap me if you want to.”

  Before she could react, a girl on a walkie-talkie screeched. “Madam, the finale song ‘Sharara’ comes up next. Tanya madam is already waiting.” Sameera was torn between the two but Gautam nodded his consent even as the wedding planner’s assistant tugged at her arm.

  Bad timing. She craned her neck and her eyes lingered on his back till she could no longer spot him in the darkness. She felt the warmth of his lips on her cheek long after that.

  He took a solitary walk on the beach. He’d finally told her how he felt. The ball was in her court. He knew about her past, had known about it for a while. Tortured and tormented by Sameera’s tears, Gautam had approached Tanya who had confided in him but under oath not to let Sameera know. It would be no use anyway. If she could not bring herself to share her trauma with him, how could they share a happy life together?

  How he wished she would give him a chance to love her, protect her, cherish her. Scenic Goa, the romantic resort, absence of work pressure, and the opportunity to spend quality time with each other...if all this could not make her open up, what would? To top all this, he looked better than ever. What more could a man do?

  Sameera danced to the music almost mechanically, her mind was elsewhere but there was no getting away now; anything she wanted to tell Gautam would have to wait. The rest of the evening was spent by Tanya’s side. There was still no sign of Gautam.

  “You can’t expect him to be around for two days of back-to-back nach gaana, but he did put his best foot forward,” Sanjay explained to her.

  ≈

  TWENTY-ONE

  She lingered outside his cottage for a long time and finally mustered the courage to knock but there was no answer. She had his number but was too nervous to call him. He could be at the beach or at the fort, but how could she be brazen enough to pursue him there? It was a calm, peaceful night, not a soul stirred. All she wanted to do was see him.

  With her sandals in her hand and her heart pounding, she walked on the soft sands looking for him. Where the hell was he? She tried calling out for him. No response. Exhausted, she sank on the soft sand as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She sat there crying for what seemed to be an eternity and finally trudged back to her cottage.

  As she fumbled with the keys in the darkness, a voice called out “Need help?” She swung around to find Gautam sitting in one of the cane chairs in the darkness.

  “Goodness, why are you crying? Here, let me open the door.”

  “You stupid man, I’m not crying because I couldn’t open the door.” She hit him hard on his shoulder.

  “Ouch! What was that for? Stop crying for once and sit down. Where were you? I’ve been waiting here for ages.” Sameera started sobb
ing again. Gautam led her into the room and seated her on the bed. He pointed to the bed, “Can I sit next to you?” She nodded. He got her a glass of water and some tissues and sat down beside her, wiped her tears gently and urged her to take a sip of water. She was still clutching her sandals. He took them from her and put them down. Tucking strands of her hair behind her ears, he finally asked, “Why are you so sad?”

  “I’m tired of taking care of myself.” Her body heaved with her sobs. “I know I’m partly to blame but I’m scared to trust anyone, but also scared to spend the rest of my life alone.”

  “Oh Sameera, how can someone as lovely as you worry about spending your life alone? But before that, there are other things that you have to figure out. Why don’t you just try to relax and get some sleep right now? We could catch up some time tomorrow.”

  “No Gautam, please don’t go now. I must tell you something.”

  “Okay, then, but first go and freshen up.”

  When Sameera came back, she’d half expected Gautam to have left. But she was pleasantly surprised; he was waiting patiently in the garden with a room service order of coffee and sandwiches. Washed and scrubbed, she looked like a timid schoolgirl in her pajamas. Gautam insisted that she eat first. She was ravenous and only when she bit into the sandwich did she realize that she had eaten nothing since evening. He poured her some coffee and sat quietly, waiting for her to finish. Dressed casually he looked young, but he had an air of maturity and authority around him that made him look older and wiser than he probably was.

  “It happened many years ago. I was engaged to a guy named Kabir...” He knew her history; it would be difficult for her to relive the trauma, but she needed the catharsis. He held her hand, occasionally wiping her tears, gazing straight into her eyes.