Hold (Gentry Boys #5)

by Cora Brent

  He winced and swallowed.

  “You guys remember that time he punched her in the stomach and she fell into the television stand, opening up a four inch gash in her head? We were only about nine or ten but Creed, you went at Benton like a tiger, calling him a filthy fucker and beating on him with all that you had. You caught him off guard and he lost his footing, landing smack on his ass and whacking the back of his head on the wall. He just kind of sprawled there all stunned and you were getting ready to kick him in the gut when Mom started screaming. She crawled across the floor, full of blood and bruises, and hurled her body across his so you couldn’t kick him. And the most terrible thing about that memory was the look on your face. Because in spite of everything he’d ever done to her, and to us, he was still what she loved the most. I thought you would cry Creedence, but you didn’t. You ran out the door and straight into the desert. We chased you but couldn’t catch up for nearly an hour.”

  “I don’t remember that,” I frowned.

  I didn’t. There were a thousand rotten memories to choose from and none of them stood out too much against the others at the moment.

  “It happened,” Cord confirmed.

  “I’m sure it did.”

  Chase had gotten closer to the body. He wasn’t crying but he seemed pretty damn close.

  “I wish you’d loved us the way we loved you,” he said and the raw hurt of that honesty almost brought me to my knees. Cord let out a small, agonized sound and turned away. I stared at the floor. If the stories were true and hell possessed infinite rooms then surely this was one of them.

  Chase tucked the blanket closer to the body of Maggie Gentry. Her papery skin had already begun to look strange. I tried to think back to the last thing she’d ever said to me but then decided I didn’t really didn’t want to remember it after all. It wouldn’t have been anything nice.

  “Goodbye,” Chase whispered and then backed away. I watched him breathe deeply and close his eyes. When he opened them again they were clear and calm.

  Cord was the one who’d wanted to come here and say goodbye but in the end he couldn’t seem to find the words. He touched her shoulder and then recoiled.

  “You okay?” I asked him, and then mentally kicked myself for asking such a dickhead question.

  Cord nodded but he was leaning his palms against the far wall with his head down, breathing hard like he was trying not to be sick. I was starting to worry about him. Our mother had been lost to us for many years. We knew it. And Cord has always been the most rational of us, the one who would talk me and Chase out of shit like diving into a raging canal during a flash flood as we tried to shove each other aside to prove who was the toughest. But I guess there was no way to tell how you’ll react to heartache until it happens.

  I didn’t feel the need to get any closer to her. She wasn’t in there anymore anyway and if there was something to theories about souls hanging around for awhile, watching the world pass by, then she could still hear me just as well from across the damn room.

  “We’re your sons,” I said, even though I’d stopped thinking of myself as anyone’s son a long time ago. “You don’t even fucking know us and you never did. But we’re alive because of you. We survived in spite of you. And now we’re fine without you.”

  I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. It hung in the air, as suffocating as the harsh odor of the room, a smell that tried to mask death and was only halfway successful. I’d already crossed the room and had my hand on the doorknob before I turned around.

  “I hope if there is such a thing as peace wherever you are that you were finally able to find it.”

  I opened the door and waited while Chase nudged Cord away from the wall.

  Gaps and the black-haired woman were waiting at a polite distance down the hall.

  Cord had gotten ahold of himself and shook the woman’s hand.

  “Thank you for that,” he said and the woman gave him a sympathetic smile before returning to the room of the dead.

  Chase looked at Gaps. “You know if any arrangements have been made?”

  Gaps shook his head. “Benton’s been sitting in that cell and as far as I know it hasn’t even been brought up yet.” He paused. “I’d imagine they didn’t make plans for this so if he doesn’t come forward I can make some calls. You have a problem with cremation?”

  “No,” I said quickly. “That’s actually better.”

  “A lot cheaper too,” Gaps said. “How long are you boys planning on staying in town?”

  “Not long. We’re not planning on hanging around after today.”

  “Understood.” He motioned to the door. “I’ve got to get back on shift but let me walk you out.”

  More time had passed than I’d thought. It was mid morning and I could see clouds hanging around over the mountains to the southeast. The sun managed to catch me right between the eyes and for a few seconds I saw nothing.

  Then I saw something I really didn’t want to see.

  “Mother fucker,” I muttered.

  Because there he was. Flushed, jowly and limping along on the other side of Main Street. He stopped in his slovenly tracks when he saw us. He raised a hand like he was hailing a fucking cab.

  “Mother fucker,” I said again because it was all I could think of, standing there on the sidewalk while Benton Gentry waved at me.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHASE

  I felt an odd sense of peace as the three of us exited the building where we’d visited our mother’s dead body. I hadn’t been expecting that, the relief. For years I’d waited for this news with sick dread but when it finally arrived it wasn’t the crushing blow that I’d always feared. Maybe because I’d finally come to accept that my mother wasn’t going to be saved. She wasn’t going to wake up one morning and smack her forehead and realize what she’d done to herself and to us. She wasn’t going to get help. All she would ever be was a miserable wraith with one foot on earth and the other in the grave. At least now both feet were together. I’d stared down into my mother’s face and wished her good luck in whatever world she found herself in next.

  Anyway, that sense of peace was jolted when I got a look at Creed’s face and then a split second later saw exactly what he was staring at. Benton Gentry should have counted himself lucky that the width of Main Street separated him from us or else Creed would probably have charged him like a mad Viking. Benton looked somewhat the worse for wear and considering what a shitty mess he usually was, that was really saying something. He was disheveled, unshaven, dirty, and seemed about ready to collapse into a pile of bones on the sidewalk.

  Creed cursed. Cord let out a hiss and turned his back. And I stared as Benton slowly raised his hand to give the most inappropriate wave hello in the history of human greetings.

  Gaps must have gotten a clue that there was about to be some ugliness. He ushered us back toward the police station and hailed a young officer standing in the parking lot.

  “Do me a favor, Cruz, and drive that asshole back to the far side of town where he belongs.”

  The officer grunted, glanced at Benton in distaste, but ducked into his squad car and swung it around to the other side of the street. He probably got something of an argument in return for the favor but maybe Benton was more malleable today given the fresh tragedy of his wife’s death.

  I watched as the squad car drove away with Benton in the backseat and then exhaled with relief when it was out of sight.

  Gaps couldn’t really hang around any longer without catching some grief from his superiors. He shook each of our hands. “In case I don’t run into you again before you leave town.”

  “See ya, man,” I said, returning the handshake. “Deck is flying back today so I’m sure he’ll be around real soon.”

  “Good,” Gaps nodded. “Missed that asshole. Emblem just isn’t as colorful without him.” He waved and then disappeared inside the police station.

  “Guess that’s that,” said Creed, squinting down Main S
treet.

  I wasn’t in any hurry to go though. Now that Benton was out of sight Emblem looked a lot less forbidding.

  Cord shrugged, apparently thinking the same thing I was thinking. “I’m in no hurry.”

  “We could take a ride over to check on the junior Gentrys,” I suggested.

  Creed glanced at his watch. “Fine. But first I’m due for another feeding.”

  It was still a little early for anyplace to be open for lunch and pickings in Emblem were slim to begin with. We made do with the Dino Gas convenience store, loading up on snacks and sodas. I was glad that the girl behind the counter wasn’t familiar because I still wasn’t feeling terribly social. We hung out on a long bench just outside, just munching chips and talking about random shit, everything but the subject of dead mothers or vile fathers, before heading over to The Hills, the neighborhood where we’d dropped the boys off the night they went all Fast and Furious.

  “That it?” Creed asked, slowing down as we cruised down an orderly street.

  “No.” I pointed. “That’s it.”

  Creed stopped short right in front of the one story ranch-style house. The landscaping was unkempt and the house itself looked a little more disorderly than its neighbors.

  “No car in the driveway,” Creed observed. “Hope that witchy mother of theirs isn’t around. From what I remember she’s not a real big people person.”

  “And you are,” I snorted.

  Creed ignored the comment. “What the hell’s her name again?”

  “Stacy,” Cord answered.

  “Tracy,” I corrected.

  We stood there banging on the door and then waiting a full two minutes before starting to give up and turn away. Suddenly there was a click and the door opened, revealing a shirtless, tousled Stone Gentry.

  “Oh hey, it’s you guys,” he said, keeping the door open a bare few inches and glancing behind him.

  “It’s us,” I said. “Figured as long as we were in town we’d drop by and check on you guys.”

  Stone’s mouth turned down and he stepped all the way outside onto the front stoop.

  “I heard,” he said sheepishly. “About your mom. My loudmouthed mother was gossiping on the phone this morning. I never met your mom but I saw her around a few times.” He coughed. “Sorry.”

  Cord was staring at the closed door. “Your mom in there?”

  “Nope, she’s working at the pharmacy.”

  “And Con?” I asked.

  Stone jerked at the mention of Conway. It was weird. His eyes darted around and he ran a hand through his hair. I’d gotten a chance to really see the brothers interact and knew what a special fraternal bond looked like. Yet right then and there it seemed like Stone would rather listen to pigs squealing into a megaphone than hear his brother’s name.

  “Not here,” he said vaguely. “Working down at the garage or something.”

  “Carson’s Garage?”

  “Yep.”

  “You work there too?”

  “No.”

  An uncomfortable silence followed. I got the distinct impression Stone wasn’t in the mood to talk. I doubted it had anything to do with us though. When I looked over at my brothers Creed was staring at Stone suspiciously and Cord was idly kicking his toe into a loose brick.

  Stone cleared his throat. “When’s the funeral?” he asked. “I mean, I’d like to pay my respects-“

  “No funeral,” Cord said shortly.

  “No funeral,” Creed agreed.

  “Oh.” Stone looked embarrassed. “Well anyway, I’m still real sorry.”

  “Thanks,” I told him. I raised my eyebrows at Cord and he gave me a nod. It was the kind of silent conversation we’d had ten thousand times. We knew how to ask each other a question and give an answer without saying a word.

  “Listen, we were tossing around the idea of maybe hanging out in town for a few hours before we head back to Tempe. Closure and all that. You feel like passing a few hours with us old timers?”

  A genuine smile flashed across Stone’s face. He was a really good-looking kid, especially when he wasn’t being all aloof and obnoxious. Then the smile disappeared and his eyes dimmed.

  “I can’t,” he said. “Got some stuff to take care of around here.”

  Creed was looking at me with some impatience. He’d already gotten the hint that the kid was trying to make a getaway. Maybe he had a girl stashed behind the door. Unless it was a fashion statement, the open button on his jeans meant he’d been in the middle of something when we knocked.

  “All right then.” I started to back away. “You give me a call if you ever change your mind about the college track. Never too late.”

  Stone let out a snort of laughter. “Told you that’s not my game, Cord.”

  “I’m Chase.”

  He grinned a mile wide. “I know. I was just fucking with you.”

  Cord and Creed had already bid farewell and reached the truck. When I glanced back I noticed that Stone was just standing there staring at us, like he was guarding whatever happened to be waiting behind that closed door. It made me wonder if he was doing something illegal. Lord knew drugs were sprinkled around Emblem like candy and there were more than a few petty dealers who would be happy to take a smart kid into their fold. I waved one more time and got into the truck.

  “That was awkward,” Creed said as he pulled away from the curb.

  “A little,” Cord agreed.

  I was sitting in the back of the cab and couldn’t have said what prompted me to look back one more time. At any rate, Stone had company on the front stoop now. There was a girl next to him. She was furiously tucking in her shirt. Then she stopped and abruptly swung a fist at him. Stone grabbed her wrist and yelled something that made her instantly calm down. She put her arms around him and rested her cheek against his chest. The last thing I saw before we turned the corner was him opening the door and nudging her inside.

  “Shit,” I muttered.

  Cord swiveled around with raised eyebrows. “What’s up?”

  “Nothing.” I took a closer look at him. “You sure you’re okay?”

  He shrugged. “As okay as any of us are.”

  “What about you, Big C?”

  “I’ve had better days,” Creed said slowly. “But I’m dealing.”

  We drove out of The Hills, passing the quaint historic section of downtown Emblem. There was some historical society that scraped enough pennies together every few years to stick a plaque on something. Half the downtown had plaques on it. Shit like, “Here is where the first female doctor in the Arizona Territory sat down for ten minutes.”

  “Creed,” I spoke up suddenly. “Take that right. Off the main road.”

  Creed obeyed, turning down the rough gravel that meandered for a good half mile before stopping near the old railroad bridge.

  “Where are we going?” he asked.

  “Let’s hike the butte.”

  “It’s a hundred degrees out.”

  “We’ve got water bottles. We can go hang out at old Elmore’s house.”

  “Let’s do it,” Cord agreed. “I need to sweat some of this tension out.”

  Creed swung the truck onto the shoulder of the road in the shade of a broad mesquite tree. Climbing the butte was what passed for outdoor recreation in Emblem. The summit was less than a twenty-minute brisk hike and contained a strange monument to Elmore Emblem, the town’s namesake. He followed some unusual religion that had to do with worshipping the sun and supposedly he was buried up there. You could see the memorial from the ground. It was a tall triangle made of brick and a strangely crooked door was cut into the side. It was wide enough to fit three people comfortably and half a dozen uncomfortably. For some reason it was always cooler inside than it ought to be, considering it sat atop a hill in the blazing Arizona sun.

  I would have been the first one to reach the top if Creedence didn’t suddenly decide to be a dick and sprint up the last few yards, kicking up a bunch of dust in my face in
the process. Cord was right behind me. He let out a low whistle when we caught up to Creed.

  “There it is,” he gestured. “All of metropolitan Emblem.”

  It was a great view from where we stood, if you really wanted to see Emblem in the first place. The prison kind of dominated the skyline, a metropolis unto itself. There was Main Street and the high school, the slightly sloping grounds of The Hills. Houses were clustered together in tired-looking neighborhoods. What we couldn’t see, even if we squinted, was Gentry territory. It was just as well. There wasn’t anything pretty to look at there. Just dry, prickly land dotted with mostly neglected homes.

  “Seems like a long time ago, doesn’t it?” mused Cord. He stood a few feet apart, gazing down over the valley with a pensive look on his face.

  “It was a long time ago,” I agreed. It had been nearly eight years since we called Emblem home. We took off straight out of high school, figuring that a vibrant university town an hour’s drive away was our best bet for making it on our own. It was rough in the beginning and some days we’d wonder if we were destined to be Emblem Gentrys forever after all. But little by little we climbed our way to something better.

  Creed must have been thinking the same thing.

  “I’m proud of us,” he said.

  Despite the shadow that hung over the day we relaxed for a while, hanging out in old Elmore’s crypt like we’d done on more than a few occasions as kids. We talked about the past, we imagined the future, and we gave each other a hard time, like always. By the time Creed stretched and announced he was due for another meal the light was getting softer as the sun began to relax.

  We took our time getting down the butte and Cord suggested that we go get some dinner at the Emblem Diner on Main Street. Our ladies weren’t expecting us home until nightfall anyway so there was plenty of time. Still, I thought Creed would balk at the idea of running into town regulars and accepting a bunch of thoughts and prayers for our mother’s death.