And Business Is Good_A Supernatural Action Adventure Opera

by Michael Todd

  “Usually he would heal before we could do this,” Katie said calmly as she reached into her pocket to pull out the lighter. “But not on my watch. Never again.”

  She nodded at the high-quality Zippo, which had an Angel holding a skull on the side, then flicked it open and held it over the trashcan. After she’d lit it, she let it slide from her fingers and drop straight into the trash can as she stepped back.

  Flames shot into the air, and everyone looked up as the first burst easily topped the store’s roof. Katie leaned back and brushed her hands on her pants as the demon screamed and roared in pain.

  She stood there until all was silent, then nodded in approval.

  That, Pandora commented, will leave a serious fucking mark. He won’t be able to come back for a decade, at least.

  Good. Katie smirked.

  She turned to walk to the SUV, and the wide-eyed cops backed away to clear a space for her.

  All of them turned to Calvin and nodded before taking the unconscious kid into custody again.

  Katie couldn’t help but notice how none of them would look her in the eye, much less allow themselves to be within two feet of her.

  She climbed into the passenger side of the SUV and sat there staring at the flames shooting from the trashcan, not realizing that she had scared the living piss out of the cops.

  That hadn’t been her intention, nor did she like feeling as if she had pushed everyone out of their comfort zone.

  Calvin grinned as he slid into the driver’s seat of the SUV. “That was kickass.”

  Thanks. Pandora sighed. All in a day’s work.

  “That was terrible,” Katie growled, turning to Calvin.

  “What?” he asked. He had been about to turn on the car, but stopped.

  What? Pandora snapped.

  “Did you see the way those cops looked at me?” Katie ignored Pandora and spoke to Calvin. “They were fucking terrified of me, Calvin. They looked at you like they pitied you for having to be in the same car as me. None of them cheered or congratulated me, or even shook my damned hand. They were absolutely, completely, and totally scared out of their fucking minds by me.”

  “It’s not of you,” Calvin told her in a comforting tone. “Katie, you have to understand that most or all of them thought that D Squad was some made-up bullshit thing. They didn’t believe the rumors were true. They were shocked, like every other human is when they see their first demon. They heard two people in your voice, and saw claws coming out of you. It was a little shocking, even for me, but they will come around—you’ll see. They won’t be scared of you for long. Soon enough they will be begging you to show up and help them.”

  “Still, it sucks,” Katie said, a tear in her eye and her voice soft. “I felt like a circus freak.”

  Welllll, Pandora said in a high-pitched voice.

  Shut up, Katie barked.

  “Awe, come here.” He leaned over and opened his arms. “Bring it in.”

  He wrapped his arms around Katie and she leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling the comfort. It had been a long time since anyone had hugged her, and that was exactly what she needed—a hug from her family. Calvin had become someone she could trust; someone who was there even when shit got really fucking weird.

  “I’m serious, though,” Calvin whispered into her ear. “That was like super-badass.”

  Damned right it was bad-ass. Listen to the black man preach the truth.

  “Then you dropped that little bitch of a demon in the trash can and SNAP—you broke its fucking neck. Not to mention the damn flaming barrel! It was like some badass scene from a fantasy movie. I was so jealous it wasn’t my black ass up there being all killer and shit.”

  Katie laughed through her tears. “I don’t want to be a killer.”

  “Meh, there are worse things.” Calvin chuckled.

  I can think of something way better than being a killer, Pandora replied. Being the bottom half of a black man sandwich, minus the filling—just two pieces of bread.

  Oh, God. Katie sighed.

  Seriously, I have heard the rumors, Pandora insisted. That the size of a black man’s pecker is well above average. You should think about that for a second. Your mind might change after this embrace. Huh? Huh? No? How about now?

  Katie sat there for a minute still hugging Calvin, having to listen while Pandora went on about black men’s dicks.

  Finally she couldn’t take it anymore, and started to giggle. She realized in that moment that this was her life, like it or not. The pity party had to stop.

  What did she care about a bunch of LA cops anyway? Their stories would make her legendary, and she was on her way to figuring out how to solve this demon problem.

  “What are you laughing at?” Calvin smiled as he pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

  “Nothing,” she said, blushing as she reached up to wipe off her tears.

  “Whatever.” He chuckled. “Tell me.”

  “Pandora—as I call her—my demon, she is…let’s just say, super-sexual.” Katie smiled.

  Uh, no, Pandora spoke as if she were carefully explaining life to a young child. I am normal-sexual. You are a damn prude who thinks that one dirty thought makes you a whore, and may the lord forbid you laugh at a dick question—especially when the answer might be sitting right next to your nun-ass.

  “What is she saying?” he asked with a smirk.

  “She is making comments about black men and their size,” Katie said, holding her hands apart as if measuring. “She has heard the rumors, apparently.”

  “Ah.” Calvin laughed as he started the SUV and pulled into traffic. “Well, Pandora.” He looked at Katie, “She can hear me, right?”

  Katie nodded.

  “Well, let me start by saying that those rumors, no matter how fabulously true they are, are mostly good marketing by black men.”

  No! Pandora exclaimed. It can’t be true!

  “In reality only about ninety-eight percent of black men are truly huge,” he continued as he turned left on a nearby street, having to speed between a Land Rover and a Mercedes. “The rest are normal, I assure you.”

  Okay, okay. Pandora came back down from her fear. I have got to get this straight in my head. I need to do some serious research here. I’m not kidding. This needs to be done stat.

  Oh, lord. Katie put a hand over her eyes.

  I need to start a bucket list of items, and “find out if Calvin is lying” is at the top, Pandora declared. If he is telling the truth, this changes everything—my whole outlook on men. We are going to need volunteers; many, many volunteers. There are plenty of black men in Las Vegas, right? Hell, we should start while we are here in Los Angeles, I’ve seen one black man already! LOOK! Katie’s head twisted to the right just a bit. There is one right there!

  You need to calm the hell down, Katie replied. Leave my head alone. You won’t be making a bucket list, and I am not going to start sleeping with a plethora of black men—or any men, to be specific about that. There is this wonderful thing out there called the Internet, where I can safely and without risk of pregnancy or STD find out anything you need to know about the size or shape or whatever.

  That’s bullshit, Pandora grumped. And how do you expect me to look on the damn Internet, you crazy non-ho-bag? I have no arms!

  Lord, Katie moaned. I owe you one, and will do the research with you on the internet, but we are deleting our browser history afterward. I don’t need to get killed by a demon and have that pop up on my computer when someone goes to clear my things.

  I think that would be the best tribute to you, actually. Pandora giggled. A musical montage of your dick size search results. It would be very exciting, and you wouldn’t be there for the embarrassment. I would purposely possess someone just so I could see the look on everyone’s faces when the schlongs appear on the screen. Oooh, maybe we can do it in one of those Imax theatres so there are dicks all around us. This is the best plan ever.

  I don’t even know what
to do with you anymore, Katie replied.

  18

  The night was dark. The sky was covered in clouds and rain was pouring down. Thunder roared in the distance.

  Katie and Calvin had decided to stop for the night and rest up at a nice hotel in the city. When they had checked in, Katie was glad to get out of the public’s eye. She smiled at Calvin and disappeared into her room, where happily she found a large jacuzzi tub.

  She called down to the front and had them bring up bubbles and salts for a bath. It had been a long time since she had just relaxed and taken care of herself. Housekeeping arrived at the door carrying a large basket of bath goodies, including candles and lotions. Katie smiled at them and passed the girl a tip before shutting the door and prancing to the bathroom.

  Oh, goodie, Pandora exclaimed excitedly. Pampering! I love pampering.

  I will only do it if you stay quiet and let me have some peace, Katie snapped.

  Yeah, yeah. Pandora blew a raspberry. I was about to tell you the same thing. Always talking, never shutting up.

  Katie smiled and shook her head as she walked into the bathroom and set up the candles around the edge of the tub. She started the water and poured the salts and bubble stuff in, taking in a deep breath of the sweet lavender smell that filled the bathroom. She lit the candles and slipped out of her clothes, stepping and sitting down. She sighed as she scooted down in the tub, feeling the hot water completely cover her. She wanted it so badly—the relaxation—but every time she closed her eyes she saw the demon’s face as it clung to her in fear, Pandora’s arms stretching from her chest.

  I’ll take care of that, Pandora said when Katie sighed and tensed.

  Thank you. Katie leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

  She smiled as the face of the demon faded, and in its place a field of flowers appeared. She was running through them in a dress. She could almost feel the warm breeze blowing over her, and her eyes were bright blue in color. There was no red ring, no sign of the Damned, and she was free to explore whatever she wanted. Katie opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, realizing that daydreams were not what she needed. She’d had that life, and it would remain part of her. She needed to learn how to relax in this life instead of relying on her demon to take her to fictional far-off places.

  My father told me about heaven when I was a young demon, Pandora told her. He described it like the vision I just showed you. He couldn’t understand why I wanted to go there. Of course, now I don’t understand myself.

  Because you are not all bad, Katie said, breathing deeply. Because somewhere deep inside you, you know what you are doing is right.

  Nah, Pandora said after a few moments of silence. I just don’t like flowers. Don’t be mistaken, Katie…I am a demon, and I have fought beside my brothers to ensure the demise of humans. When this is all said and done and I have long left your body, I will most likely do it again and again, until your existence is only a whisper in the wind.

  Yeah, well, for now you are my ally. Katie sighed. We will face that shit when the time comes.

  That’s right, Pandora agreed. And until then it’s all about dicks. Lots and lots of dicks everywhere—all around me.

  Katie chuckled, waving her hand through the bubbles. No. It’s about righting wrongs and fixing this situation with your brother.

  Yeah, that too, Pandora huffed. But mostly dicks.

  Katie sighed again. You are a pain in my ass.

  Careful with your words. Pandora chuckled. I could literally be a pain in your ass.

  Yeah, no. I really don’t want that, Katie replied.

  She laid there in the bathtub for about an hour, listening to the rain beat against the roof. They were on the top floor, and though she normally found that sound comforting, this time there was something about it that bothered her deep inside. She got out of the tub and dried off, then blew out the candles and stood in the darkness of the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror. She grabbed a robe and wrapped it around herself, then shook her head and walked out to the main room. The bed was welcoming, and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  What seemed like only moments later but was around two thirty in the morning, Pandora woke in a panic. She shouted loudly, not knowing how to wake Katie from her sleep. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. Pandora started to play with her senses to rouse her, and Katie sat straight up in bed, gasping for air.

  Sorry, Pandora began, but shit is about to go down. Get up, put on some clothes, wake up Sir Long Schlong, and get ready to face that sonofabitch again.

  He’s back?

  I think so, Pandora admitted.

  Katie grabbed her phone from the nightstand, and punched Calvin’s speed dial.

  “What’s wrong?” he answered in a sleepy voice.

  “There is a demon close by,” she answered. “It might be the same one we faced in San Diego, so suit up good.”

  “All right,” he replied. “Give me five minutes. I’ll be over when I am ready.”

  Katie hit the End button and dropped her phone on the bed.

  She got up and crossed the room to open her suitcase and pull out some clothes. She dressed quickly, grabbing socks and her boots and sitting down on the edge of the bed. As she laced her boots, she could sense Pandora trying to figure out where the demon was. It wasn’t like her to be so helpful as to try and find the demon for her. She always stood back until the right time—the time Katie needed Pandora to be more powerful.

  Why are you helping us? Katie asked.

  Don’t get your fetish panties in a twist. This bag full of dicks might know about my brother, Pandora replied. I want to know as much as I can about his plans. I don’t think you get it—he is a badass, even more so than me because he only sees death and destruction. He will cut your head clear off your shoulders and not think twice about it. He has no human emotions, nor will he be in a human body. When he comes, there will be more at stake than just your life. He’ll take out, conservatively, everyone on the planet.

  Well, then let’s kick this one’s motherfucking ass and get some information out of him. Katie snickered. I’m tired of being nice and trying to help everyone. I’m tired of being looked at like I’m a freak, so I figure, if they are going to look at me funny no matter what I do, I might as well go all-out. There is nothing more refreshing than just being my damn self.

  Preach it, girl. Preach it! her demon responded.

  Calvin sat down on the bed and swallowed hard, thinking about the last time he faced this beast. It had taken something from him; something that he had yet to get back.

  He felt like he had been turned into another person almost. His fear of death had been blown away in that moment, when he stood in front of the beast. In its place came the absolute certainty that he was about to die, and he was going to do it in a dirty San Diego alley.

  Even after he no longer had to face that conviction because Katie had jumped down and plunged her knives into the demon’s skull, his fear of death had never returned.

  This was an uneasy feeling for Calvin, since he had stared several men in the eye throughout his life who had no longer feared death.

  None of those men, however, had lived very long after that point. There was something sacred about that fear of dying; something that kept you wary of your actions, made you think about it very carefully before running into the fire.

  It was something he feared he might not get back. He finished lacing up his boots and sat back for a second, gathering his composure.

  He took his phone from his pocket and pulled up Korbin’s number. He didn’t look forward to waking him up, but they would need backup—or another team to come in when they were dead.

  He didn’t know what powers Katie possessed, but he knew exactly what their current problem child had, and her powers couldn’t be enough to take care of that kind of demon.

  “Hello?” Korbin answered, wide awake.

  “And here I thought I was going to find you asleep.
” Calvin chuckled.

  “There will be plenty of time to sleep when we are dead, Calvin,” Korbin answered, stirring something in Calvin’s chest. “So what’s going on?”

  “We are dressing to go out and check on a tip that shit might be going down,” Calvin answered. “If true, a demon has arrived. It’s large and angry—possibly the same one we met in San Diego.”

  “Lord.” Korbin grunted. “All right, I am going to send Eric and Damian to Los Angeles immediately. They can be there in two hours, but I wish it were sooner. Try to stay out of battle until they get there, if possible. If the demon is in an unpopulated area, try to corral it until you have backup. I don’t want them to find either of your dead bodies when they arrive.”

  “Will do, boss,” Calvin agreed. “I can’t promise anything, though. You know Katie.”

  Korbin chuckled. “Well, corral her too if necessary.”

  “Have them contact me when they land,” Calvin requested. “I will let them know where we are, since at this point I have no fucking clue where we will find this thing.”

  “What’s the source?” Korbin asked.

  “I’m not sure,” Calvin told him after a moment of silence. “Katie just woke me up. You can ask her when she is able to talk.”

  “Right.” Korbin sighed. “Good luck.”

  Calvin nodded his head as if Korbin could see, pressed End. He shoved it back in his pocket and took a deep breath, looking at himself in the mirror. He pulled on his vest and shoved his knives into their slots, pumping himself up for battle.

  There was a rap on his door. He walked over and opened it to find Katie waiting for him. “Here.” She handed him a short sword. “It’s made of our secret metal, and you’re going to need it in this fight.”

  “Right.” He accepted the sword. “Thank you.”

  She eyed him. “Are you ready?”