Lost Angel

by Mandasue Heller

  ‘You’re going nowhere,’ Frankie informed her sternly. ‘And you definitely ain’t getting changed. I paid thousands for that dress, so you’ll bloody well get some wear out of it.’

  ‘I already have, when I got married,’ Ruth reminded him, a sulky little pout appearing on her lips. ‘Now I want to put my other dress on.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘But, Dad . . .’

  ‘Don’t make me say it again.’

  Ruth tutted, put her hands on her hips and looked at Johnny as if to say tell him. But Johnny wasn’t stupid enough to think he would get away with disagreeing with Frankie, so he just shrugged, and said, ‘Your dad’s right. And at least everyone knows who the bride is if you keep it on. If you get changed, you’ll look like the rest of them, won’t you?’

  Ruth sighed. The wedding dress was ridiculously heavy, and her shoulders were aching where the straps were digging in. She’d spent ages finding the perfect dress for the reception, and she’d been really looking forward to showing it off. But she supposed Johnny was right.

  ‘You’re so clever,’ she murmured, giving him an adoring smile.

  Frankie pushed open the doors and stepped into the reception room.

  ‘All rise to welcome the happy couple.’

  Embarrassed when everybody stood up and started clapping, Johnny kept his head down and followed Ruth across the floor to the top table. Holding out her chair, he waited until she was seated before sitting down beside her.

  The next couple of hours passed in a blur of food, alcohol, speeches, and more alcohol. Buffered by the triple vodka Dave had slipped into the Coke that Ruth had ordered him to stick to, Johnny got through the first dance without making too much of a fool of himself. But he’d barely sat down again before Frankie summoned him to one of the hotel’s public bars for a chat.

  ‘So, you’re officially part of the family,’ Frankie said when they were seated and had ordered their drinks. ‘How’s it feel?’

  ‘Fine,’ Johnny answered cautiously, wondering where this was leading.

  ‘Hope you got all the bachelor shit out of your system last night?’ Frankie gave him a knowing look. ‘I won’t say I’m happy about it, ’cos I’m not, but I’ve decided to let it pass under the circumstances. Just don’t do it again. Okay?’

  ‘Okay,’ Johnny murmured, feeling sick all over again. Frankie obviously knew more about what had happened last night than he did, and that wasn’t a comfortable position to be in.

  ‘Good lad.’ Frankie gave him a half-smile. ‘Anyhow, forget about the slags – we need to talk about your future.’

  Slags?

  ‘First things first: we need to set you up with a job.’

  ‘A job?’ Johnny repeated numbly. He didn’t want a job. Jobs were for losers.

  ‘Yes, a job,’ said Frankie patiently. ‘How else are you going to take care of my girl and pay me back for that fucking great rock I put on her finger?’

  Johnny gave a miserable little shrug. He hadn’t thought about it. Hadn’t really thought about anything beyond getting through today, if he was honest.

  ‘Hope you didn’t think that was a freebie,’ said Frankie. ‘’Cos I haven’t got this far by being a fucking mug. And Ruth’s got expensive tastes, so you’re going to have your work cut out keeping her happy. That’s why you’re coming to work for me,’ he announced. ‘You can start down at the yard in two weeks. At the bottom, obviously, ’cos I don’t want the other lads to think you’re getting preferential treatment. I’ll start you off washing the motors, and shit like that. But we’ll reassess after a few weeks – depending how you get on.’ He paused and gave Johnny a piercing look. ‘You do want to get on, don’t you, son? You ain’t gonna disappoint me?’

  ‘Yeah, course I want to get on,’ Johnny lied. ‘I just didn’t expect you to take me on, that’s all. I’ve not had much luck with jobs.’

  ‘You’re family now,’ Frankie reminded him. ‘And family takes care of its own. Loyalty is everything in my book – do you understand what I mean by that?’

  Johnny nodded and smiled up at the waitress who had just brought their drinks over.

  ‘It means never letting anyone come between you and yours, and never, ever betraying them,’ Frankie told him. ‘Like that bird.’ He nodded at the waitress’s back as she made her way back to the bar. ‘You can look, but if you so much as think about touching I’ll chop your fucking hands off.’

  ‘I wasn’t looking,’ Johnny spluttered. ‘I was just thanking her for the drink.’

  ‘You’re a bloke, it’s in the genes,’ said Frankie. ‘But Ruth’s your number-one priority now.’ His gaze was steely as he stared Johnny in the eye. ‘Like I said before, I’ll let last night slip. But if I ever find out you’ve put your cock near another tart now that you’re married to my girl, you’ll be eating it. Capiche?’

  Johnny nodded and reached for his drink, but his hand was shaking so badly that he spilled some of it down his shirt. What the hell had he done last night? And how the hell did Frankie know about it – whatever it was? Had he sent someone to follow them, or been there himself, watching?

  Frankie saw the questions flickering through his eyes and smiled slyly.

  ‘I’ve got eyes everywhere, Johnny boy, and don’t you ever forget it. Your mates are lucky they ain’t looking at life right now,’ he went on seriously. ‘I only stepped in to keep you out of the shit, but I won’t be doing it again, so steer clear of them from now on.’

  ‘Okay,’ Johnny agreed, wondering what the hell had happened – and what Frankie had meant about stepping in. Dave had acted weird when he’d asked him about it, and now this. It sounded heavy, and he hoped Andy and Mikey were all right.

  Satisfied that the boy understood the rules, Frankie raised his glass and clinked it against Johnny’s.

  ‘Family first – and fuck everyone else.’

  Frankie took a swig of his drink now and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

  ‘Right, about the job . . . You’re starting low, so your wages will be shit. But you’ll be stopping with me and Rita to start with, so it won’t be too hard on you.’

  ‘Sorry?’ Johnny frowned. ‘I thought we’d be staying at the flat?’

  ‘Are you having a laugh?’ Frankie screwed up his face. ‘You think I’m letting my grandchild live in a shithole like that?’

  ‘But . . .’

  Johnny said the word, but nothing came after it, and he just sat there looking and feeling helpless. It was bad enough that Frankie was going to force him to work, but making him move out of the flat was way worse. Dave was his best mate, and he was the perfect flatmate, never nagging him to clean up, or stressing out when he wasted his money on weed instead of buying food. And they liked all the same stuff – the partying, the birds, the clubbing. Johnny didn’t want to leave him or the flat – and definitely not to move in with a bitch like Rita.

  ‘It’s time to grow up,’ Frankie told him. ‘You’re a married man now, and you’re going to be a dad in a few months. You’ve got responsibilities, and you need to start thinking about the future. And that starts now – today.’

  ‘I know,’ Johnny agreed. ‘I just hadn’t really thought about where we’d live. It’ll take a bit of time to sort everything out, though, ’cos I’ve got loads of stuff to pack,’ he added, hoping that he’d be able to buy himself a bit of time by dragging out the actual moving for as long as possible.

  ‘It’s all sorted,’ Frankie assured him. ‘Your mate Dave is going to pack it up for you when he gets home, and one of my lads will be picking it up in the morning, so it’ll all be waiting when you and Ruth get home.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Johnny blinked back the tears as the lead weight that had been constricting his heart all day sank into his stomach. They reckoned this was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but it had been the worst one of his by far – and he couldn’t see it getting any better.

  Frankie downed his scotch and waved for the waitress to
bring another one.

  ‘You can go now,’ he said, dismissing Johnny. ‘Just do as you’re told and look after my girl, and you and me will get along just fine. Oh, and remember what I said about staying away from them so-called mates of yours,’ he added warningly. ‘Trouble and stupid is a dangerous combination, and I don’t want that kind of shit around my family. You got that?’

  Johnny nodded and rose miserably to his feet. Passing the waitress as she carried Frankie’s fresh drink to the table, he dropped his gaze and rushed on out of the bar.

  He hadn’t taken two steps into the reception hall before Lisa ambushed him.

  ‘There you are,’ she purred, brushing up against him. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’

  ‘Leave it out,’ he muttered, pushing her away.

  ‘Don’t act like you’re not interested,’ she persisted. ‘I saw you checking me out at the church, and we both know what you were thinking.’

  ‘I was thinking that I was just about to get married to your cousin,’ he told her coolly.

  ‘Yeah, whatever,’ Lisa drawled, pushing him further into the corner. ‘Ruth’s not good enough for a gorgeous man like you. You need someone who knows how to keep a man happy.’

  ‘Go and find someone else to bother,’ Johnny hissed, pushing her away again. ‘If Ruth sees you, she’ll think there’s something going on.’

  ‘And she’d be right,’ Lisa said huskily. ‘We both know it’s going to happen, so don’t try to resist it.’

  ‘What are you playing at?’ Johnny demanded. ‘You’ve hardly said two words to me in all the time I’ve known you, so where’s all this coming from?’

  Lisa shrugged. ‘I’ve always been too pissed or stoned to really notice you before. But after our Ruth told me you’d proposed, it made me look at you in a whole new light. And I’ve got to say, you’re not half bad.’

  Johnny took a step back and glanced nervously around. ‘Has Frankie put you up to this? Is it some sort of test to see if I’m stupid enough to cheat on Ruth?’

  ‘Frankie?’ Lisa frowned. ‘Are you crazy? Do you think I’d be saying any of this if I thought he was going to find out? He’d kill me.’

  ‘Yeah, well, maybe you should back off and save yourself the trouble,’ Johnny said firmly.

  He sidestepped her now, and was about to walk away when she grabbed his arm.

  ‘I don’t kiss and tell, Johnny. You can trust me.’

  ‘Yeah, and I bet Ruth thinks she can as well,’ Johnny shot back, yanking his arm free. ‘I know what you Hyneses are like when it comes to family, so I wonder what she’d say if she knew her cousin was coming on to her husband like this.’

  Lisa’s eyes widened with fear. ‘If you tell her, I’ll deny it. I’ll say it was all you.’

  ‘And who do you reckon she’d believe?’ Johnny asked. Smirking when her lips tightened, he said, ‘Just leave me alone, Lisa. Go and find Dave if you’re looking for fun. You might have pissed him off, but I’m sure he won’t turn you down if you’re offering.’

  ‘Get stuffed,’ spat Lisa.

  ‘Gladly.’ Johnny turned his back and walked away.

  Lisa folded her arms and, through narrowed eyes, watched him go. Ruth had been dead right about her being jealous. She was absolutely seething with it. Like Ruth, she’d been born and raised in England with few, if any, of the restrictions that their female relatives in Ireland were expected to abide by. But like any girl who had so much as a single drop of gypsy blood running through her veins, she had been planning her own big day ever since her hands were strong enough to hold a wedding-dress catalogue, and she just couldn’t believe that her divvy cousin had beaten her up the aisle. Lisa was the one all the lads went for when they hit the clubs; the blonde sexy one with the big boobs and the tiny waist, who made an effort with her appearance and spent a fortune making sure she was always up to date. So how the hell Ruth, whose idea of dressing up meant covering herself from neck to toe, had managed to bag herself a gorgeous man like Johnny Conroy while Lisa didn’t even have a steady boyfriend, she didn’t know. It was so unfair.

  Johnny walked across the dance floor without looking back, even though he could feel Lisa’s stare burning holes into his back with every step. Now that she’d made her move, he would have to be careful around her – careful around every girl he came into contact with, in fact, since Frankie had made it clear that he would be watching him.

  Ruth was sitting with her mum at the top table, her arms tightly folded, a sulky look on her face. There were dozens of empties in front of them, and it was clear from the glassiness of Rita’s eyes when she glared at Johnny that she’d drunk most of their contents.

  ‘Where’ve you been?’ Rita demanded churlishly. ‘Have you any idea how stupid she looks sitting here on her tod on her wedding day? You’re supposed to stay with her, not waltz off with your mates. It’s a good job she’s got her mother to look after her, that’s all I can say. And where’s yours, while we’re on the subject? Too busy to come to her own son’s wedding, was she? Thinks she’s too good for the likes of us, does she?’

  ‘They’re not talking,’ Ruth reminded her, wishing that she would butt out. She looked at Johnny now, and asked, ‘Where have you been? You’ve been gone for ages.’

  ‘Sorry.’ He came around the table and kissed her on the cheek before sitting down. ‘Your dad wanted a word.’

  She gave him a tart smile. ‘Oh, and you thought you’d just stop for a little chat with Lisa on your way back, did you?’

  Johnny gritted his teeth, wondering if he was ever going to be able to move again without someone from this damn family spying on him.

  ‘I bumped into her,’ he admitted. ‘But we weren’t chatting. She nearly fell over and I was just checking she was all right, that’s all. I think she’s had too much to drink.’

  ‘She’s a big girl,’ Ruth sniped. ‘She doesn’t need you looking out for her.’

  ‘She’s your cousin,’ Johnny reminded her calmly. ‘And your dad was just lecturing me about family loyalties, so I thought I’d best do my bit.’

  ‘Well, in future, just leave her to it.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s part of our family, not yours,’ Rita chipped in. ‘Not that the little slut deserves to be classed as family, letting it all hang out like that. She needs a bloody good slap, if you ask me.’

  Ruth had heard enough from her mother for one day. This was between her and her husband, and she would deal with it on her own.

  ‘I’m going up to the room.’ She pushed her chair back and rose to her feet. ‘Come on, Johnny.’

  ‘We can’t,’ he told her, staying put. ‘Your dad said we’ve got to—’

  ‘It’s my wedding, not his.’ Ruth cut him off shrilly. ‘I’m a married woman, and I can do what the hell I want. And I want to go to the room, so we’re going – now.’

  ‘Quit mouthing off and park your arse,’ Rita ordered sternly. ‘No one’s going anywhere. Your dad’s shelled out a fortune for this party, and I’m not having him giving me grief because you feel like flouncing off like a spoiled little brat.’

  Ruth’s lips tightened, but she did as she’d been told and flopped back down into her seat.

  ‘This is your fault, this,’ Rita hissed at Johnny.

  Johnny didn’t see why she was blaming him for her daughter being in a mood. But it was pointless arguing, so he gazed wistfully out across the room, wishing that he could go and join his mates who were happily filling their boots at the free bar and cutting loose on the dance floor.

  Time dragged slowly on, and Johnny was almost asleep with boredom when Dave came over at two a.m. to inform him that he was leaving. Smirking at Rita, who had given up the ghost some time back and was slumped over with her head in an ashtray, Dave gave Ruth a polite goodbye peck on the cheek before giving Johnny a back-slapping hug.

  ‘Don’t tell me you’re in trouble already?’ he whispered into his ear. ‘Talk about if looks could kill. What’ve you done?’ />
  ‘I’ll tell you tomorrow,’ Johnny whispered back. ‘And cheers for leaving me on my own with them all night, by the way. You’re supposed to be my best man.’

  ‘Sorry, mate, I’ve been a bit tied up.’ Dave smiled secretively. ‘Hope Frankie’s boy don’t come round too early tomorrow, ’cos I don’t reckon I’ll get too much packing done tonight.’

  ‘On a promise?’ Johnny asked, glad that at least one of them was ending the night on a high. ‘Who’s the lucky girl?’

  ‘Lisa.’ Dave gave him a sheepish look. ‘And before you ask, I didn’t do the chasing. She came on to me. And you know what they say . . . if it’s on a plate, and you’re hungry – eat.’

  ‘God, you must be starving if you’re going there again,’ Johnny chuckled. ‘Hope you don’t regret it in the morning.’

  ‘Me too,’ Dave said. Then, flicking a glance at Ruth who was scowling up at them, he gave Johnny a sympathetic look and whispered, ‘Good luck, mate,’ before going off to scrape the drunken Lisa out of the chair he’d left her on.

  ‘What was all that about?’ Ruth demanded when he’d gone.

  ‘Nothing,’ Johnny lied. ‘He was just congratulating me again.’

  Ruth gave him a disbelieving look. ‘Well, I hope he doesn’t think you’re going to keep on having secret conversations now we’re married. I’m your wife, and he’s just going to have to respect that. If he wants to talk to you, he can include me or get lost.’

  Johnny drew his head back and frowned at her. She was really pushing it now. He was already pissed off about the way she’d been talking to him tonight, and now she was trying to dictate who he could and couldn’t talk to.

  Before he could pull her up about it, Frankie strolled over.

  ‘Looks like people are getting ready to leave, so you’d best come out into the foyer to say goodbye and thank them for coming.’

  ‘About time,’ Ruth grumbled, gathering her skirts together and standing up. ‘And then we’re going to our room, so don’t try and stop us.’