Highly Unsuitable Girl

by Carolyn McCrae

  A quarter of a century later, lying on a beach in Barbados and reflecting on her many failures and few successes in life, Anya thought back to those final six months of her university career and decided it had been the happiest time of her life.

  Geoff had been true to his word and, from the day of Anya’s return from London, he had shared the chores of living. As they had shared more than sex their relationship had grown. They had learned about each other; their strengths and weaknesses, their likes and dislikes, and their moods. They had helped each other with their revision and research learning greater respect for the other’s intelligence and knowledge. Two or three times a week they had gone to a music club, a bar or a pub to take it in turns to choose her target for the evening. But, Anya reflected as she let the white sand run through her tanned hands, they had never talked about the issues that drove her behaviour. He never asked her why she couldn’t have children. He had never asked her why she hated herself and whether she still did.

  Monday 10th April 1972 Happy Birthday Birthday Boy. 22 today.

  What a great day! We headed for the Union in celebration and to define the arrangements for the night. Sex in public his first bet today. £50. A shop doorway before it got dark was a challenge but Arthur obliged. Such a nice boy he seemed to enjoy it more this time. Then my bet was Geoff to have sex with some tart from 1st year social studies. He said she just talked and talked so much he gave up. He was quite miffed but seemed to have enjoyed the chase a tad more than I was happy with but then sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose. His next bet was us on a bar stool. The room was crowded and it was dark and he didn’t last long. Afterwards he said he really loved me, he didn’t care what anyone thought, he just wanted me to know how much he cared.

  Tomorrow we buy a new car I’ve earned so much I’m paying half so I can choose the colour (red) and he’s promised to teach me to drive.

  A year ago we didn’t really celebrate his 21st, he kept telling me it was important but we hadn’t done anything different from usual. He talked about it as we walked home tonight, a year too late. He told me that he has responsibility for his father’s money, lots of it. He explained how he helped run his family’s money affairs, even his Mum’s. That’s why he gets so many letters in brown envelopes and stays at home some days instead of going into lectures. I had no idea he had been doing that all year. He never discussed it with me. He said he will now. What does that mean?

  On the day of Geoff’s last exam they were sitting in the bath together celebrating with a bottle of champagne.

  “What now?” Anya asked.

  Geoff took that as an invitation and put his glass on the ledge behind him and manoeuvring his toes between Anya’s legs in a way he had done many times before. He was surprised when she pushed him away.

  “No seriously. What are we going to do now? All this, the flat, everything’s got to change hasn’t it?”

  “We don’t have to worry for a bit. There’s lots of…”

  “… I know, there’s lots of money in the bank. But what was the last four years about if it wasn’t to have a career? Wouldn’t we get bored with nothing to do? And what would I do if we broke up? University couples rarely stay together.”

  “So many questions! I thought we’d maybe take a year off, travel a bit, there’s lots of time before we have to make decisions like that.”

  “I was thinking of trying my hand at writing.”

  “What? A book?”

  “Possibly, eventually, but first journalism, articles, that sort of thing.”

  “What’s to stop you?”

  “You think it’s a good idea?”

  “I think it’s terrific, you could do that anywhere couldn’t you?”

  “And I’ve got a date for my driving test.”

  In their different ways they both realised that decisions about their future were making themselves.

  Thursday 20th July 1972

  Driving test- passed! I’ve got enough in the bet account to buy a mini or something if sharing the car doesn’t work out. Geoff’s been great about it, taking me out for practice, encouraging me. I thought he’d be a bit reluctant, he does have a tendency to be a little possessive (!). We’ve decided to stay up here for a few months while we work out what we’re going to do. I think we want to stay together but I think he wants to go home and I’m SO anti going south. I don’t know what I’d do without him if we go different ways but if I have to start on my own I will. Maybe it won’t come down to a battle between his career (and family) and mine.

  “We’re off to Kent next week.” Geoff handed Anya the card he had taken out of the envelope in the drawer by his side of the bed.

  “How long have you had this?”

  “A few weeks.”

  “Mrs Geoffrey Philips … Mrs Geoffrey? How does she do that?”

  “It’s correct etiquette, she’s a widow so she keeps her husband’s name. She always does it when she wants to make a point.”

  “…requests the pleasure of your company. Pleasure! I doubt she gets any pleasure inviting us.”

  “She hasn’t.” Geoff spoke deliberately. “Look at the top of the card.” Anya did and saw the one single name Geoffrey written in blue ink.

  Anya ignored the deliberate insult, she knew she would be going whether invited or not. “Why send you an invitation anyway? Surely you’re giving the bride away?”

  “Oh yes, I’ll be pretending to be my father again. God knows why she sent it.”

  “She did it to specifically exclude me.”

  “You’re coming aren’t you?”

  “Keep me away.”

  “It won’t be as bad as last year.”

  “It had better not be! Springing all those awful people on me was so unfair.”

  “You didn’t seem to mind one awful person springing on you!”

  “I’ll screw with him again you know.” Anya warned Geoff, her voice suddenly serious.

  “Only on condition I finally get Fiona. I can’t let her win that battle.”

  “We have a few bets to work out.” Anya thought for a minute, “I bet you £100 that I get Tim on his stag night. And £100 you don’t get Fiona.”

  “That’s a lot of money. Are they really worth twice anyone else?”

  “Absolutely, and I’ll bet you a further £100.” She didn’t say what for immediately, preferring to tease him. Geoff was easy to tease.

  “What for?”

  “He’ll break his marriage vows during the reception.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Geoff’s laugh was forced, he didn’t know exactly why but he knew of all the men Anya had sex with Tim was the one who threatened him the most. “The stag do is fair game but not the reception.”

  “Well what about any others on the stag night then?”

  “John and Dave?”

  “Yeah. Right.” She didn’t sound as enthusiastic.

  “It’ll be OK won’t it?” Geoff had hoped that Anya’s appetite for sex would wear itself out. It didn’t matter in Liverpool but he worried she wouldn’t change when she moved with him to Kent, as he was determined she would.

  “Of course it will.” Anya tried to be convincing but she was thinking she had lived the last two years as if reality had been suspended. Whatever she had done had nothing to do with the real world but now her real world, whatever that was going to be, had to be faced and she wasn’t sure she wanted to face it in middle class respectability in Kent.

  Chapter 7: Manipulations

  Kent, July 1972

  “I’m looking forward to this.”

  “What? The driving or the wedding?”

  “Well both really, the drive should be fun and your mother really won’t want me anywhere near the wedding so it’ll be fun winding her up.” Anya piled the last of her things into the boot of their car.

  “I’m glad we’ve rented a house for the week.”

  “At least we won’t be in your family’s pocket all the time.”

  “Th
ough,” Geoff spoke a little sheepishly, “I’ll have to leave you to your own devices for quite a bit of the time.” He had reassured himself that Tim would be too busy and have far too many commitments to spend much time with Anya.

  “Fair enough, as long as I don’t have to spend a night in that house. I hate it, it’s so cold and tidy.”

  The inconsequential chatter of DJs and familiar pop music kept them company as Anya drove carefully out of Liverpool and through the green fields of Cheshire. Geoff was content to be a passenger as they headed south on Anya’s first drive of any distance since she had passed her test.

  “Shall we stop for something to eat? There’s a transport café.”

  Anya drove into the deeply rutted car park and pulled up, satisfied she had done a good job.

  “Well done that girl.”

  “That was fun but you can take over the driving for the final motorway bit and London. I don’t really fancy that yet.”

  “Any idea which county we’re in?” Geoff asked as they walked into the ramshackle looking café.

  “Warwickshire, I think. Does it matter?”

  “Not really.”

  “Must have been a popular place this.” He nodded at the signed photographs of pop stars that covered the walls as they sat at one of the many empty tables. “Adam Faith and Cliff Richard, this goes back a bit. “Look! The Shadows and Lonnie Donegan. Everyone seems to have stopped here sometime.”

  “Half way between London and the north I suppose.”

  “But now the motorways will be taking all their trade away.”

  She watched him as he walked to the counter and chatted to the server. She saw him as others would see him, tall, smart and confident; she was proud to be his girl.

  “I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Geoff started tentatively as he put the plates of sausage, beans and chips on the table.

  “Yes?” She held her breath.

  “You know when you went missing in January?”

  “Yes?” She breathed a sigh of relief, she had been afraid he was going to propose.

  “Where did you go?”

  Anya twirled the chips and beans around her plate. She had always known he would ask one day. She wasn’t the most honest of people but she had always found it difficult to tell a lie to a direct question. “You really want to know?”

  “If you don’t want to tell me don’t but I would like to know. I nearly went to see Dr Hill, you were in such a state after her funeral.”

  “Well that was only the week before. But you didn’t worry him did you?”

  Geoff shook his head. “Where did you go? Will you tell me?”

  Perhaps, after all he had done since January to make their lives better, he deserved an honest answer.

  “I went to London.”

  “Where?” It was not the answer Geoff had expected.

  “I went to London.” Anya repeated.

  “To Tim?”

  “Not exactly. I didn’t go with the idea of meeting him but I thought they’d probably be at Charing Cross so I went. They were quite surprised to see me.”

  “I bet they were.” Geoff tried to keep the cold jealousy from his voice.

  “But they seemed quite pleased.”

  “I bet they did.” Anya told herself if Geoff didn’t know her by now he never would and he should realise he couldn’t take her for granted. “What did you do?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “What do you think we did?”

  “You probably fetched off to some hotel in an awful part of town and screwed them all silly.” Geoff tried to laugh but it didn’t quite come out the way he intended, sounding more like a splutter. In some ways he was relieved that she had been with people she knew, he had imagined her being with strangers who might have hurt her. But why had she gone to Tim?

  “Actually we stayed in a nice hotel in Covent Garden.”

  “Did you have fun?”

  “Yeah. It was great.”

  Geoff tried to ignore his jealousy. “What did you tell them about why you were there?” He didn’t want her to have told them she’d run away from him.

  “I said I’d temporarily escaped the ties of academia and domesticity.”

  “Temporarily? You always meant to come back?”

  “Of course I did. After three days they saw me onto the train at Euston and told me not to so silly again.”

  “They didn’t.”

  “No, you’re right, they didn’t but they did tell me off for not getting in touch with you. They said you’d be worried.”

  “I was.”

  “In the end I realised I was missing you too much.”

  “You missed me?”

  “Yes. I was rather surprised to realise how much.”

  Geoff leant across the table and kissed her. It was beginning to be a problem that he needed her far more than she needed him.

  “What’s the plot?” Anya asked as they settled into the second half of their drive south.

  “We’ll stay at the house tonight, then tomorrow morning I’ll go and see Mum and Margaret. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  “I’ll come for a few minutes. They need to know I’m around and that they can’t ignore my existence then I’ll leave you to it and go shopping or something.”

  “Something?” Geoff left the question hanging in the air for a minute.

  “Shopping.” She said firmly but with a smile in her voice as she knew what he was thinking. “We still haven’t bought them a wedding present.”

  “Then I’ve got the stag night.”

  “I won’t be invited to the hen night so do you want a chauffeur?”

  “Good idea. Lots of opportunity for those bets.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that!”

  “Of course you had.” Their laughter was relaxed, friendly, free of any issues. Perhaps, Geoff thought, everything would be all right after all.

  Geoff and Anya joined his mother and sister in the kitchen. He poured their coffee and they sat around the table, to all appearances a happy family anticipating a wedding.

  “Good evening Anya.”

  “Good evening Mrs Philips.” Anya set out to be perfectly polite.

  “I gather you have done well?” Perhaps she was making an effort to be nice.

  “Yes, thank you, I did. So did Geoff, you must be very proud of him.” Anya knew that would be difficult to argue against and she could afford to be generous. Because neither Kathleen nor Margaret replied Anya continued with less generosity. “We worked very hard you know, helping each other. Geoffrey is a very clever man, you know that don’t you? You have to be exceptional to get a first.”

  “But, my dear,” Kathleen spoke as slowly and condescendingly as she was able, “it was, after all, only Liverpool. It’s not as if my son got his degree at a good university.”

  Anya answered before Geoff could say a word, her resolutions to behave sorely tried. “Liverpool is very well respected.”

  “But only red brick.” Kathleen spoke as though the university had been built of dung.

  “The first and original red brick. It’s quite interesting …”

  “You are a bitch.” Margaret interrupted. She hadn’t been listening to the conversation and had been winding herself up to an argument with Anya.

  “Undoubtedly.”

  “You don’t mind me calling you that? You don’t mind me calling you a bitch?” Margaret repeated.

  Anya kept her response calm and measured though she gave up her hopes of behaving well. “Not at all. You’re absolutely right, I am a bitch. I screwed your fiancé on the night of his engagement and… Anya ignored Geoff’s kick under the table. “… back in January we met up in London for a few days. Didn’t he tell you?” She ignored the shock on Margaret’s face and the warning in Geoff’s. “We spent three days together in a very expensive hotel in Covent Garden.” Anya enjoyed every moment of the effect her words had on Margaret and Kathleen. “He didn’t tell you? But then he wouldn’t h
ave done would he?” Anya was now enjoying herself. “We went to some lovely restaurants and then, of course, we spent a great deal of time in bed. He really is quite good at that side of things.”

  “You should know.” Margaret’s voice was so low no one but Geoff heard her.

  “Tim is good but he was nowhere near as good as your brother, he is really good.”

  “You will not talk like this!” Kathleen was horrified.

  “Tim doesn’t have to tell me what he does.” Margaret said quietly but neither her mother nor Anya was listening.

  “Oh yes I can and I will.” Anya spoke quietly to Kathleen, ignoring Margaret. “Your daughter may be marrying Tim tomorrow, but she should understand what kind of man he is.”

  Geoff sat silently, part of him enjoying the battle between his mother and the girl he was increasingly determined would one day be his wife and the other part wracked with jealousy at the thought of Tim and Anya together. As Anya warmed to her theme he sat with smile gradually relaxing and widening, agreeing with everything she said.

  “He will never be faithful to her, he will screw around. He is a weak man, you only have to look at his chin and how close his eyes are together. He is weak, gullible and led by what he’s got in his pants.”

  “You think I don’t know what he’s like?” Margaret finally made herself be heard. “Does it matter what he’s like? He’ll be my husband and that’s all that matters in the real world.”

  “You’ve grown cynical.” Geoff spoke directly to his sister for the first time.

  “I’ve had to. I’ve been engaged to Tim for a year and I know he’s been all the way with at least three of my friends and God knows how many others. Not to mention her.” She glared across the table at Anya, then she turned that same look at him. “You were the chosen one Geoff, Dad left you all his money and so you can do whatever you want with your life. He left me nothing, no money, nothing. The only thing I can possibly do is get a husband. You think marrying Tim is an option. It is not. It is a necessity if I am to have any sort of standard of living. I’m marrying Tim, whether it’s a good idea or not.”